Reports still continue to come in as to the outbursts of rage which took
place in Germany when the news of our participation in the War reached
that country. Seeing that we had merely been asked to allow our friends
to be robbed and murdered, our interference is looked upon as peculiarly
gratuitous.
***
We hear, by the way, that the Germans, who hold Kiao-chau on a long
lease, appealed unsuccessfully to Leaseholders Protection Societies all
over the world to intervene in defence of their interests.
***
We understand that a new version of the KAISER'S famous "Yellow Peril"
cartoon (it bore the inscription, "Nations of Europe, protect your
property!") is in preparation at Tokio, in which a jaundiced KAISER is
delineated as the Yellow Peril.
***
Those persons who complain that the Allies are too frequently on the
defensive forget that it is very difficult to be as offensive as the
Germans.
***
The report that among the troops which entered Brussels was a bear
dressed up in infamous taste to represent the King of the BELGIANS is
denied in Germany. It is quite possible that he was merely one of the
Prussian officers.
***
The _Giornale d'Italia_ reports that, at a meeting of cardinals held at
Rome, it was decided to issue an appeal to the belligerents to agree to
a truce pending the election of a new Pope. It is thought, however, that
the KAISER will refuse even such a reasonable request as this.
***
It is rumoured that WILHELM II. has despatched all his British uniforms
to KING GEORGE. This, anyhow, should be remembered to his credit. He did
not wish to disgrace them.
***
The temptation to call the KAISER names is, of course, almost
irresistible, but we are rather surprised to come across the following
head-lines in our serious contemporary, _The Observer_:--
"Brussels--and After. The German Sweep."
***
There would seem to be no end to the social horrors of the War. The
Teuton journal _Manufakturist_ is now prophesying that one of its
results will be the substitution of German for French fashions.
***
The title of "The King of Prussia," one of the oldest licensed houses at
Barnet, is to be altered. Every effort, we understand, is being made in
Germany to keep the news from the KAISER.
***
People must not come down too heavily on KEIR HARDIE. We honestly
believe that he honestly believes that his little views are right.
That's what makes his case so sad.
***
The Dominican Revolution, it is announced, has ended. It is supposed to
have been unable to stand the competition of the bigger war.
***
There appears to be considerable difference of opinion as to whether
those persons who are in want of a holiday should take it as usual or
not. The "Take your Change" movement may be quite right for women and
children; but the "Leave your Change" movement is better still.
***
According to _The Evening News_ three elephants have been requisitioned
from the Zoo at the White City by the military authorities. In Berlin,
no doubt, this will be taken to signify that our heavy cavalry mounts
are giving out.
***
The Committee of the Masters of the Foxhounds Association have decided
that, while regular hunting will be impossible, they consider it would
be most prejudicial to the country in general if it were allowed to
lapse altogether. In this, we understand, the Committee and the foxes do
not see eye to eye, the latter taking the view that hunting men ought
now to devote their entire attention to more important matters.
***
"GERMANS DRIVEN BACK FROM ANTWERP" read an indignant old lady. "Driven,
indeed!" she exclaimed; "I'd have made them walk!"
***
The statement issued to the Press by Messrs. SUTTON AND SONS to the
effect that large supplies of bulbs from Holland are now being delivered
at Reading in as good a condition as ever has, we hear, had a distinctly
steadying effect on the country at large.
***
From Hoylake comes the news that certain persons who live in a street
there called Prussia Road have petitioned the Urban District Council for
a change of name--and it is rumoured that the Council, with a view to
saving the ratepayers' pockets, have hit upon the ingenious idea of
obliterating the first letter only of the present name--thereby also
paying a well-deserved compliment to a distinguished ally.
***
A clerk who left a month ago for a week in lovely Lucerne and has only
just been able to get back found his employer (a merchant with a strain
of German blood in his veins) quite angry. "I have half a mind to
dismiss you for exceeding your leave," he said. "However, you are useful
to me. Only please understand that you have now had your holiday for the
next three years as well."
* * * * *
Illustration: "Special constables who can speak German are
particularly required."--_Daily paper._
_Special Constable_ (_having cornered his man_). "SPRECHEN SIE DEUTSCH?"
_Suspect._ "NEIN! NEIN!"
* * * * *
"A sow has given birth to a freak of nature. The animal's face is
almost human in appearance, it has neither eyes nor nostrils, but a
nose like a fish."
_Sheffield Daily Telegraph._
This is like none of our friends.
* * * * *