FURTHER EXTRACTS FROM HER LETTERS.--HER ILLNESS.--HER HISTORY OF THE
BURMAN MISSION.--HER DEPARTURE FROM AMERICA WITH MR. AND MRS. WADE.
In a letter to a friend at Waterville, Mrs. Judson gives a full account
of the reasons that determined her to pass the winter at the south. She
says: "I had never _fully_ counted the cost of a visit to my native
country and beloved relatives. I did not expect that a scene which I had
anticipated _as so joyous_, was destined to give my health and
constitution a shock which would require months to repair.
"During my passage from England my health was most perfect, not the
least symptom of my original disorder remained. But from the day of my
arrival, the idea that I was once more on American ground banished all
peace and quiet from my mind, and for the first four days and nights I
never closed my eyes to sleep! This circumstance, together with dwelling
on the anticipated meeting with my friends, occasioned the most alarming
apprehensions.
"I reached my father's about a fortnight after my arrival in the
country--and had not then been able to procure a single night's sleep.
The scene which ensued brought my feelings to a crisis, nature was quite
exhausted, and I began to fear would sink. To be concise, my health
began to decline in a most alarming manner, and the pain in my side and
cough returned. I was kept in a state of constant excitement by daily
meeting my old friends and acquaintances; and during the whole six weeks
of my residence at my father's, I had _not one_ night's quiet rest. I
felt the cold most severely, and found, as that increased, my cough
increased."
She goes on to say that under these circumstances, she was strongly
urged by Dr. Judson, a brother of her husband, who was then in
Baltimore, to remove to the south, and take up her residence for the
winter with him at his boarding-house. She says that painful as it was
to leave her dear family, yet as she knew that freedom from company and
excitement, as well as a milder climate, were absolutely essential to
her recovery, she was induced to go. She adds that her health is so far
re-established that she is able to give five hours a day to study and to
the compilation of her History of the Burman Mission, a work she had
very much at heart.
The next passage in the letter is of touching interest, as showing the
meekness of the Christian spirit in receiving a rebuke, whether merited
or not.
"Your kind hint relative to my being injured by the lavish attention of
our dear friends in this country, has much endeared you to my heart. I
am well aware that human applause has a tendency to elate the soul, and
render it less anxious about spiritual enjoyments, particularly if the
individual is conscious of deserving it. But I must say, that since my
return to this country, I have often been affected to tears, in hearing
the undeserved praises of my friends, feeling that I was far, very far
from being what they imagined: and that there are thousands of poor
obscure Christians, whose excellences will never be known in this world,
who are a thousand times more deserving of the tender regard of their
fellow-Christians than I am.
"Yet I trust I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for inclining the
hearts of his children to look on me with a friendly eye. The retired
life I now lead is much more congenial to my feelings, and much more
favorable to religious enjoyment, than when I was kept in a continual
bustle of company. Yes, it is in retirement that our affections are
raised to God, and our souls refreshed and quickened by the influences
of the Holy Spirit. If we would live near the threshold of Heaven, and
daily take a glance at our promised inheritance we must avoid not only
worldly, but religious dissipation. Strange as it may seem, I do believe
there is something like religious dissipation, in a Christian's being
so entirely engrossed in religious company, as to prevent his spiritual
enjoyments."
In Baltimore, through the influence of Dr. Judson, she had the best
medical advice and attendance the city could give; and was put upon a
course of mercury in order to produce salivation. She denied herself to
company, and thus secured time for writing, in which employment she was
assisted by "a pious excellent young lady," whom she engaged as a
copyist. Her correspondence was extensive, and occupied much of her
time. One interesting letter from England informed her that Mr.
Butterworth had put at interest for her Burman school £100 sterling, and
that a larger sum had been collected. Her English physicians insisted
that she could _not live_ in India, and urged her and her husband to
come to England, but her determination to return to Burmah was
unalterable.
On the 19th of February she writes to her friend in Waterville: "Your
kind and affectionate letter found me in bed, so weak that I was obliged
to read it at intervals; but it afforded heartfelt consolation. Thanks
to our Heavenly Father whose guardian care and love I have _so largely_
experienced. I am now much better, and once more enjoy the prospect of
gaining that degree of health which will allow my return to Burmah,
there to spend my remaining days, few or many, in endeavouring to guide
immortal souls to that dear Redeemer, whose presence can make joyful a
sick chamber, a dying bed.
"For the last month I have been _very ill_. The disease seemed to be
removed from the liver to the lungs. I have raised blood twice, which
the physicians thought proceeded from the lungs, though I am inclined to
think it was from the throat. I was however bled so frequently and so
largely that my strength was quite reduced. At present I am free from
every unfavorable symptom, but am still weak.
"I am rejoiced to hear that Mr. Boardman has offered himself to supply
dear Colman's place. If actuated by motives of love to God, and concern
for precious souls, tell him he will never regret the sacrifice, but
will find those spiritual consolations which will more than compensate
him for every privation. I shall rejoice to afford him every assistance
in the acquisition of the language which my health will allow, though I
fear he will not be ready to sail so early as I hope to embark.
"This is the third day I have been writing this letter, on account of my
weakness. But I am gaining a little every day. Yesterday I had a little
female prayer-meeting in my chamber--trust the blessed Saviour was near
us. Oh it is good to get near to God, and feel whether in life or death,
we are His.
"Let us, my dear sister, so live, that our union to Christ may not only
be satisfactory to ourselves but to all around us. On earth we serve
God--in heaven enjoy him--is a motto I have long wished to adopt. When
in heaven we can do nothing towards saving immortal souls."
In a subsequent letter she mentions receiving a journal kept by her
husband, with the joyful intelligence of the accession of five more
converts to the little church there, three of whom were females, and
members of her Wednesday meeting. "They have," she says "set up of their
own accord a female prayer-meeting. Is not this encouraging?" Dr. Price
had been ordered to Ava on account of his medical skill, and Mr. Judson
was about to accompany him to make a further effort for toleration.
In March, Mrs. Judson went to Washington to superintend the printing of
her History of the Mission, and here she was detained contrary to her
wishes until the last of April. However, this detention gave her an
opportunity of meeting the Baptist General Convention which held its
session there at that time. A committee was appointed to confer with her
respecting the Burman Mission, and at her suggestion several important
measures were adopted.
When the printing of her work was completed, she presented the
copy-right to the convention. The work was favorably noticed in several
leading journals of the day, and has circulated extensively both in
Europe and this country. It was of great service not only to the cause
of the particular field of which it was the history, but to the cause of
missions generally, in awaking the public mind from that strange apathy
in regard to our Saviour's parting command in which for seventeen
centuries it had for the most part quietly slumbered. We say _for the
most part_, for we do not forget the self-denying labors of the Roman
Catholics in propagating their doctrines in various parts of the world;
indeed this has always been the bright redeeming feature of that system
of semi-pagan Christianity. Well would it be if protestant Christians
would imitate their zeal and self-devotion! How strange that centuries
passed, even after the Reformation, before Christians began to recognize
as binding that solemn injunction, "Go ye into all the world, and preach
the Gospel to every creature, with its encouraging promise, Lo I am
with you always even unto the end of the world!"
This _apathy_ in respect to the cause nearest her heart, was a great
source of grief to Mrs. J. In a letter to Dr. Wayland, written in
Washington, after stating that she had found that her strength was not
sufficiently restored to undertake a journey to the North, she says,
"This, together with the hope of exciting more attention to the subject
of missions among the members of the General Convention which will soon
meet here," has induced me to remain.... "Oh my brother, my heart
sickens at the apathy and unconcern relative to the subject of missions
which are in many places exhibited. I sometimes say to myself, Will not
the missionary flame become entirely extinct, and the mission already
established in Burmah, die for want of support?... Where are our young
men, fired with the love of Christ and compassion for immortal souls,
who are _desirous_ to leave their comforts and their homes for a few
years, to serve their Redeemer in foreign lands? Who is willing to obey
this last, this most benevolent command of our Lord, Go ye into all the
world, and preach the gospel to every creature? But I must stop. Loss of
sleep for this night will be the consequence of indulging myself thus
far."
At the above-mentioned Convention, Mr. Jonathan Wade of New York, and
Mr. George D. Boardman of Maine, had offered themselves as Missionaries
to the East. Mr. Wade was soon after regularly appointed by the Board,
and with his wife, was directed to take passage for India with Mrs.
Judson. The latter writes to her sister from Boston, upon her arrival
there from the South, "We arrived in safety at six o'clock on Thursday.
We were immediately informed that Mr. and Mrs. Wade would sail with me
to India. This was animating intelligence, and I felt that the hand of
God was in it, for he had heard my prayers.
"Yesterday we went on board the ship, chose my cabin, and agreed with
the captain to take us all for twelve hundred dollars. The
accommodations are excellent, clean and airy. It is a most beautiful
ship, and the captain seems disposed to do all in his power for our
comfort.... I am now making preparations for my passage. Monday we have
a prayer-meeting, and on Tuesday we go to Plymouth. I am doubting
whether I ought to go to Bradford again or not. My nerves are in such a
state that I have to make every possible exertion to keep them quiet. It
will only increase my agitation to take a formal leave of my friends and
home."
On the 22d of June, 1823, they sailed from Boston amidst every
demonstration of personal attachment and Christian sympathy. They
carried with them a valuable present and a letter from the Convention to
the Burman emperor, sent in the hope of conciliating his favor toward
the missionaries.