"Our Daily War-time Menu.
Fish Pie.
Salt Beef. Turnips or Carrots.
Baked Potatoes.
Banana Pancake.
Coffee."
This will gratify those who believed that our contemporary's diet
consisted largely of brimstone.
* * *
It is reported from Holland that Germans there are refusing German
notes. In the United States however they are still accepted at their
face value.
* * *
It is understood that the Government recruiting authorities, with whose
_jeu d'esprit_ all Trafalgar Square is ringing, have definitely rejected
a proposed placard that says--
"WILL YOU 'ATE NOW
OR WAIT TILL MARCH 8?"
* * *
The Admiralty has announced that sea-fishing is included among the
certified occupations exempted from the provisions of the Military
Service Act. The suggestion that the other kind of fishermen should be
rejected for psychopathic reasons has been bitterly resented by some of
our most persistent anglers.
* * *
"Many of the men," writes a correspondent at one of the Fronts, "have
apparently been without shirts for some time, and consequently the Army
authorities, with that kindly consideration which always distinguishes
them, have issued to the men a new pair of pants all round."
* * *
A bird-eating spider has just arrived at the Zoo. While its diet is
commonly confined to quite small birds the animal is understood to have
expressed extreme confidence in its ability to eat eagles, if only to
show that its heart is in the right place.
* * *
"Germany's sea dogs," says the _Berliner Tageblatt_, "cannot content
themselves much longer with merely showing their teeth." This is
obviously unfair to TIRPITZ'S tars, most of whom have not hesitated to
show their tails also.
* * *
The KAISER at Headquarters lifted his glass to KING FERDINAND, this
being the kindliest way of intimating that he has Bulgaria on toast.
* * *
It is rumoured that the Government has offered the control of our
anti-aircraft defences to the Office of Works, but that Mr. LULU
HARCOURT has declined the responsibility, adding, however, that he will
gladly repair any damage done by Zeppelins to the flower-beds in his
department.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _V.A.D. wardmaid_, _M.A._ (_to
kitchen-maid_). "I'M REALLY A UNIVERSITY LECTURER; BUT
AT A TIME LIKE THIS WE ARE _ALL_ HUMAN BEINGS."]
* * * * *