Later Estimate of Woman.
In the discussion of the position occupied by women as wives, those only
have been spoken of who were betrothed in infancy, or were captured,
stolen, or bought. These latter were, without further ceremony, merely
_taken_ home to the abode of their future husband and lord. In the later
periods of antiquity, betrothal terminated in a marriage ceremony, the
rite varying according to the prevailing customs of each nation.
Opinions with regard to the qualifications which ought to be possessed
by a woman to fit her for marriage--which were, in fact, considered
indispensable--were as various as the nations or the rites; and, truth
to tell, are about as conflicting now as they were centuries ago. In all
the ages, and in every country, one thing seemed to be agreed upon,
however, and sedulously kept in view; namely, _woman's inferiority_. Let
her be free-born or a slave, to be married or bought, she must still be
a bondwoman--a creature subject to guardianship.
After men began to desire wives who were not altogether drudges, women
began to be esteemed in proportion to their beauty, not their wisdom or
good judgment. A fine figure, delicate hands, and handsome face, with
fascinating manners, a graceful carriage, and such accomplishments as
were the fashion, quite regardless of the accomplishments of head or
heart, were all that were required by the class of men who could afford
to keep such dainty wares. But love, inspired by such attractions as
these and nothing else, is ever fickle as the wind. When health declined
and beauty faded, the fire of passion, misnamed love, died out; and the
hapless wife frequently found herself deserted--if not openly, none the
less shamefully--for a younger rival, whose eye was brighter and whose
cheek more plump. Then shrewd women began to study artifice. Deception
is wrong, without doubt; but before we too severely censure these women,
let us remember how deeply they were wronged, how great their
temptations, how much they had at stake. In order to retain any thing
like a comfortable or respectable position in their husband's houses,
the waning beauties resorted to flattery and to the invention and
skillful use of various articles which would conceal the declension of
beauty or artfully counterfeit it. The ways and means by which
attractiveness of face and figure might be enhanced, preserved, or
simulated, became the subject of serious study--something neither to be
sneered at nor laughed at. The happiness of a life-time often depended
upon it. The sex, taught by a bitter experience, learned that men, as a
rule, were more easily influenced by blandishment and show than by good
sense and genuine worth, and, with a few exceptions, strove somewhat to
better their condition by practicing the lesson so learned. If, in the
long run, women became frivolous, brainless, and heartless, why was it?
There were, however, in all ages, exceptions. Women, yielding to the
God-given yearning after higher and better things than idle frivolities,
and longing just as ardently for love and happiness in their married
homes, sought to work out life's problem differently, and went to work
as rational creatures. Breaking through or over the obstacles which
debarred them from enjoying or making use of the sources of information
open to the opposite sex, they strove to cultivate their minds and store
them with useful knowledge, that they might indeed be helpmeets for
their husbands, and so not only win, but by true worth retain, their
love.
Then those who had hitherto sneered at woman's incapacity for
intellectual attainments, or lectured her roundly for frivolity,
heartlessness, and deception, sneered all the more at her presumption in
fancying her heart, or head either, required any other cultivation than
man, in his wisdom, saw fitting. Any thing at all likely to elevate
woman to her proper place of equality with her husband, must be put down
at once and forever, if possible. But, notwithstanding all the pains
taken to place women in an inferior position, and keep them there, they
have, in many instances, despite the sneers and _persecutions_ of the
opposite sex, proved their aptitude in acquiring knowledge; and, when
placed in positions to call forth such powers, have manifested a
judicious tact in the government of nations or generalship of armies,
quite equal to men, with all their vaunted superiority. Nor did those
women who thus distinguished themselves, or those who in private life
became proficients in the various branches of science or in music,
poetry or the languages, _necessarily_ neglect their homes and families
in consequence. Experience, in our own times, proves exactly the
reverse. Dereliction of duty with regard to home duties results much
more frequently from devotion to fashionable pleasures--considered quite
allowable and _womanly_--than from the pursuit of literature.
That marriage was designed by the Creator for the mutual benefit, help,
and happiness of those entering into that relation, there can be no
doubt; but, through the selfishness of man--helped on by the fact that,
like the partner referred to previously, he was physically the stronger
of the two--the gracious purposes of the Creator were lost sight of, or
_ignored._ And God suffered it so to be, for the time, just as he did
other forms of slavery and outcrying sins of various kinds.
It has been said that the marriage ceremonies and festivals were as
various as the several nations in which they were performed. A
description of a few of these may not be uninteresting.
Among the Jews, the period of betrothal having expired, the marriage was
celebrated by a feast, the bride being arrayed as magnificently as her
circumstances would allow. If the contracting parties were distinguished
personages, the ceremony was frequently celebrated at night, the bridal
party, carrying their lamps or torches with them, going forth in
procession to meet and do honor to the bridegroom.
With the Romans, the consent of the father or guardian of the maiden
having been obtained, a sacrifice was prepared. "The gall was carefully
removed," and the propitiatory offering made to the gods. To have been
emblematical, the gall should have been presented to the bride. In most
cases, it fell to her lot. On the wedding-day the bridegroom, with his
attendants, presented himself at the place designated for the
performance of the ceremony, where he was met by the bride, gorgeously
appareled, and her maids. Then, in presence of her father or guardian
and proper witnesses, the pair went through a formula of words as given
them by the officiating priest. On the completion of this part of the
ceremony, the company partook of a cake made of flour, salt, and water.
This was the original "bride-cake." After night, the bride, accompanied
by her relatives and maids of honor, was escorted with due pomp to the
residence of the bridegroom, the door of which she found bound with
strings, over which she was obliged to step. Having effected an
entrance, she received the keys of the house, and the bridegroom and
herself again repeated, after the priest, the formula which had been
gone over earlier in the day. Then, having touched fire and water, and
sacrificed to the domestic gods, which were placed on the table, the
wedding festivities commenced, and were continued till midnight, when
the guests dispersed.
In India, the magnificence of the marriage-feast can scarcely be
imagined, especially when celebrated by torch-light procession.
In almost all the nations of antiquity, who had any marriage ceremony at
all, a woman's wedding-day was one of splendor and apparent honor, the
only day in which any of her wishes were deferred to during her whole
lifetime. Light was soon lost in darkness--anticipated pleasure in
disappointment, degradation, and despair. The day of her death was the
first day of her freedom.