PONOCRATES, THE NEW TEACHER, DESIRES GARGANTUA TO SHOW HIM HOW HE USED
TO STUDY WITH OLD MASTER HOLOFERNES.
[Illustration: Initial G.]
Gargantua was a good son, as we have already seen. He knew that he had
been sent to Paris to learn Latin. So, after a few days of pleasure,
he dutifully offered to begin a course of study with his new teacher,
Ponocrates. But Ponocrates himself was just a little curious to know
how old Master Holofernes had managed to teach his big pupil so as to
leave him, after fifty-three years, ten months, and ten days, just as
much a booby as he had found him. "Let Your Highness," Ponocrates said,
"do precisely as you used to do with your old master." And Gargantua,
greatly relieved, as you may imagine, began to live in Paris the very
life he used to live at home. And this is the way he lived. He woke
up between eight and nine o'clock every morning, whether it was light
or not. The first thing he did after waking was to make a tent of the
sheets of the bed, raising one of his tall legs as the centre-pole and
watching how the big sheet fell on either side. After the tent was
brought down, Gargantua would begin to gambol and roll around in his
bed, to stand on his head, to twist his huge limbs in every sort of
twirl, and to turn any number of somersaults, single, double, treble,
and quadruple, in a way that would make one of our modern acrobats turn
green with envy. After that he would rise and dress himself according
to the season. But, in the old home days, he generally wore a large
robe of rough cloth, lined with fox-skins, and so he brought out of
his trunk the very garment itself, looking rather worn and shabby.
The next thing was to comb his head with a "German comb," which was
the name given in those days to the easiest way of combing, since it
meant a comb made by the four fingers and the thumb. For old Master
Holofernes had always enjoined this habit on him, saying that it was a
waste of time for him to smooth his hair in any other way, and with any
better comb.
[Illustration: GARGANTUA GETS UP.]
Being now dressed, Gargantua went through a series of performances
which--considering that they came from a Giant--must have been very
startling, indeed. He gaped, stretched, coughed, spit, groaned,
sneezed, hiccoughed, and then, with a broad smile, declared himself
ready to breakfast on fried tripe, grilled steaks, colossal hams,
magnificent roast, and a noble soup. All this feast was made hot with
mustard, shovelled down his throat by four of his servants.
Master Ponocrates, one day, thought it his duty, as the teacher charged
with the education of his royal pupil, to suggest that it was hardly
right for him to eat so heavy a breakfast without having already taken
some exercise. Gargantua was ready with his answer.
"How can you say so, Master?" he asked; "have I not exercised enough?
Have I not stretched myself on the bed in all sorts of ways until my
muscles are sore? Isn't that enough? Pope Alexander the V. used to do
the same, by the advice of his Jewish doctor, and he lived, as you
know, until he died. I feel very well from my breakfast, and am already
beginning to think of my dinner."
[Illustration: GARGANTUA BREAKFASTS.]
Ponocrates must have been satisfied with this little speech of his
pupil; for, after grumbling a bit under his breath, all that he did was
to stroke his long beard in deep thought, while he asked himself in
wonder: "How did the Prince ever happen to hear about Pope Alexander?"
and let the young Giant continue his course, while he himself continued
to wonder.
After breakfast Gargantua went to church,--you may be sure he kept away
from _Nôtre Dâme!_ Behind him, on his way to church, went nine of the
stoutest lackeys, who bore, as if they would have liked to be doing
anything rather than that, a big basket, which contained a breviary
worthy of a Giant, since it was so heavy that, by actual weight, it was
found to weigh just eleven hundred and six pounds. With that breviary,
the devout young Prince entered the church and heard the Holy Mass from
beginning to end. On leaving the church, he always thought it the
proper thing for his breviary to be carried by oxen to his hotel. Once
there, Gargantua began to study during a short half hour, with his eyes
like good Saint Anthony's in the story,
"firmly fixed upon his book;"
while all the time, "his soul," as the clown of Paris, in his day, used
to say, "was down in the _kitchen_."
[Illustration: GARGANTUA GOES TO CHURCH.]
The dinner came soon enough after his return home to satisfy even
Gargantua, who was a great glutton. He used to smile as he saw the
table at his new lodging-house laden with a dozen rich hams, with the
best of smoked tongues, with puddings, with; fine chitterlings; and his
great throat took them all down one after the other. Every day, after
the meals, it was his practice to wash his hands with fresh wine, and
to pick his teeth with a dry pig-bone.
After that he declared himself ready for his games.