And ever louder the demons yelled for their pale-faced prey--but I
scorned death's pangs,
For I deemed it a doom that was half delight to die by the hand of
Lobelia Bangs!
Then she whispered low in her dulcet tones, like the crooning coo of
a cushat dove!
(_At the top of her voice._) "Forgive me, Clem, but I could not bear
any squaw to torture my own true love!"
And she raised the revolver--"crack-crack-crack!"
[_To the infinite chagrin of the_ UNSOPHISTICATED GUEST, _who is
intensely anxious to hear how Miss Bangs and her lover escaped from so
unpleasant a dilemma--the remaining cracks of her revolver, together
with the two next stanzas, are drowned in afresh torrent of
small-talk--after which he hears_ MISS F. B. _conclude with repressed
emotion_:
But the ochre on Blue-nosed Owl was blurred, as his braves concluded
their brief harangues;
And he dropped a tear on the early bier of our Prairie Belle,
Lobelia Bangs!
[_Which of course leaves him in a state of hopeless mystification._
SOC. CHAT. Is that the _end_? Charming! Now we shall be able to _talk_
again! &c., &c.
Bank Holiday.
SCENE--_The Crystal Palace. The Nave is filled with a dense
throng of Pleasure-seekers. Every free seat commanding the most
distant view of a Variety Performance on the Great Stage has
been occupied an hour in advance. The less punctual stand and
enjoy the spectacle of other persons' hats or bonnets. Gangs of
Male and Female Promenaders jostle and hustle to their hearts'
content, or perform the war-song and dance of the Lower-class
'Arry, which consists in chanting "Oi tiddly-oi-toi;
hoi-toi-oi!" to a double shuffle. Tired women sit on chairs and
look at nothing. In the Grounds, the fancy of young men and
maidens is lightly turning to thoughts of love; the first dawn
of the tender passion being intimated, on the part of the
youth, by chasing his charmer into a corner and partially
throttling her, whereupon the maiden coyly conveys that his
sentiments are not unreciprocated by thumping him between the
shoulders. From time to time, two champions contend with fists
for the smiles of beauty, who may usually be heard bellowing
with perfect impartiality in the background. A small but
increasing percentage have already had as much liquid
refreshment as is good for them, and intend to have more.
Altogether, the scene, if festive, might puzzle an Intelligent
Foreigner who is more familiar with Continental ideas of
enjoyment._
A DAMSEL (_in a ruby plush hat with a mauve feather_). Why, if they yn't
got that bloomin' ole statute down from Charin' Cross! What's _'e_ doin'
of down 'ere, I wonder?
HER SWAIN (_whose feather is only pink and white paper_). Doin' of?
Tykin' 'is d'y orf--like the rest of us are tykin' it.
THE DAMSEL (_giggling_). You go on--you don't green _me_ that w'y--a
statute!
SWAIN. Well, 'yn't this what they call a "Statutory" 'Oliday, eh?
DAMSEL (_in high appreciation of his humour_). I'll fetch you _sech_ a
slap in a minnit! 'Ere, let's gow on the Swissback.
Another Damsel (_in a peacock-blue hat with orange pompons_). See that
nekked young man on the big 'orse, ALF? It says "Castor" on the stand.
'Oo was _'e_?
ALF. Oh, _I_ d' know. I dessay it'll be 'im as invented the Castor Ile.
THE DAMSEL (_disgusted_). Fancy their puttin' up a monument to _'im_!
SUPERIOR 'ARRY (_talking Musichalls to his Adored One_). 'Ave you 'eard
her sing "Come where the Booze is Cheapest?"
THE ADORED. Lots o' toimes. I _do_ like _'er_ singing. She mykes sech
comical soigns--and then the _things_ she sez! But I've 'eard she's very
common in her tork, and that--_orf_ the styge.
THE S. A. I shouldn't wonder. Some on 'em _are_ that way. You can't 'ave
_everythink_!
HIS ADORED. No, it _is_ a pity, though. 'Spose we go out, and pl'y Kiss
in the Ring? [_They do._