----strangled by sheer alarm.
For there in front----
[_Here she points dramatically at a stout matron, who fans herself
consciously._
----was the slender form, and the sweet girl-face of our new
"School Marm"!
Say, boys! hev' ye heard an AEolian harp which a Zephyr's tremulous
finger twangs?
Wa'al, it kinder thrills ye the way I felt when I first beheld
Lobelia Bangs!
SOC. CHAT. Oh, you really _ought_ to go--so touching! Dick and I both
regularly howled all through the last act.... Not in the _least_,
thanks. Well, if there _is_ a seat.... You're sure there _are_ any ices?
Then, strawberry, please--no, _nothing_ to drink!... _Will_ you allow
me?
[Illustration: "I AM ONLY A COWBOY."]
... Told she could dress hair perfectly, but I soon found she was ... a
Swedenborgian, my dear, or something horrid.... Haven't you? _I've_ had
it three times, and ... so many people have asked me for cards that
really I ... had the drains thoroughly looked to, and now they're ...
delicious, but rather overpowering in a _room_, I think! &c., &c.
MISS F. B. (_with genuine feeling_).
Who would imagine one meek-voiced girl could have held her own in a
deafening din!
But Lobelia's scholars discovered soon she'd a dead-sure notion of
discipline;
For her satin palm had a sting like steel, and the rowdiest rebel
respected her,
When she'd stretched out six of the hardest lots in the Bible-Class
with a Derringer!
SOC. CHAT. No, a very dull party, you could move about quite easily in
all the rooms, so we ... kicked the whole concern to shivers and ...
came on here as soon as we could.... Capital dinner they _gave_ us too
... &c., &c.
MISS F. B. (_with as much conviction as possible under the
circumstances_).
And the silence deepened; no creature stirred in the stagnant hush,
and the only sound
Was the far-off lumbering jolt, produced by the prairie rolling for
leagues around!
SOC. CHAT. (_crescendo_). Oh, an old aunt of mine has gone in for
step-dancing--she's had several lessons ... and cut her knees rather
badly, y'know, so I put her out to grass ... and now she can sit up and
hold a biscuit on her nose ... but she really ought to mix a little grey
in her wig!
[_&c., &c., to the distraction of the_ UNSOPHISTICATED GUEST, _who is
getting quite interested in Lobelia Bangs, whom he suddenly discovers,
much to his surprise, on horseback_.