A MATRON (_before Mr. Dicksee's "Tannhaeuser"_). "_Venus and
Tannhaeuser_"--ah, and is that Venus on the stretcher? Oh, _that's_ her
all on fire in the background. Then which is Tannhaeuser, and what are
they all supposed to be doing? [_In a tone of irritation._
HER NEPHEW. Oh, it tells you all about it in the Catalogue--he meets her
funeral, you know, and leaves grow on his stick.
THE MATRON (_pursing her lips_). Oh, a _dead person_.
[_Repulses the Catalogue severely and passes on._
FIRST PERSON, _with an "Eye for Art"_ (_before "Psyche's Bath," by the
President_). Not bad, eh?
SECOND PERSON, &c. No, I rather like it. (_Feels that he is growing too
lenient_). He doesn't give you a very good idea of marble, though.
FIRST P. &c. No--_that's_ not marble, and he always puts too many folds
in his drapery to suit _me_.
FIRST P. &c. Just what _I_ always say. It's not natural, you know.
[_They pass on, much pleased with themselves and one another._
A FIANCE (_halting before a sea-scape, by Mr. Henry Moore, to_ FIANCEE).
Here, I say, hold on a bit--what's _this_ one?
FIANCEE (_who doesn't mean to waste the whole afternoon over pictures_).
Why, it's only a lot of waves--_come_ on!
THE SUBURBAN L. Lucy, _this_ is rather nice. _"Breakfasts for the
Porth!_" (_Pondering_). I think there must be a mistake in the
Catalogue--I don't see any breakfast things--they're cleaning fish, and
what's a "Porth!" Would you mark that--or not?
HER COMP. Oh, I _think_ so.
THE S. L. I don't know. I've marked such a quantity already and the lead
won't hold out much longer. Oh, it's by Hook, R.A. Then I suppose it's
_sure_ to be all right. I've marked it, dear.
DUET BY TWO DREADFULLY SEVERE YOUNG LADIES, _who paint a little on
China_. Oh, my _dear_, look at that. Did you ever _see_ such a thing?
Isn't it too perfectly _awful_? And there's a thing! Do come and look at
this horror over here. A "_Study_," indeed. I should just think it
_was_! Oh, Maggie, don't be so satirical, or I shall die! No, but _do_
just see this--isn't it _killing?_ They get worse and worse every year,
I declare!
[_And so on._