courant_, and then asked me if I had a mind to dance an antic--that is
to say, whether I would dance the antic as they had danced in
masquerade, or anything by myself. I told him anything else rather, if
he pleased; so we danced only two French dances, and he led me to the
drawing-room door, when he retired to the rest of the masks. When he
left me at the drawing-room door I did not go in, as he thought I would
have done, but turned about and showed myself to the whole room, and
calling my woman to me, gave her some directions to the music, by which
the company presently understood that I would give them a dance by
myself. Immediately all the house rose up and paid me a kind of a
compliment by removing back every way to make me room, for the place was
exceedingly full. The music did not at first hit the tune that I
directed, which was a French tune, so I was forced to send my woman to
them again, standing all this while at my drawing-room door; but as soon
as my woman spoke to them again, they played it right, and I, to let
them see it was so, stepped forward to the middle of the room. Then they
began it again, and I danced by myself a figure which I learnt in
France, when the Prince de ---- desired I would dance for his diversion.
It was, indeed, a very fine figure, invented by a famous master at
Paris, for a lady or a gentleman to dance single; but being perfectly
new, it pleased the company exceedingly, and they all thought it had
been Turkish; nay, one gentleman had the folly to expose himself so
much as to say, and I think swore too, that he had seen it danced at
Constantinople, which was ridiculous enough.
At the finishing the dance the company clapped, and almost shouted; and
one of the gentlemen cried out "Roxana! Roxana! by ----," with an oath;
upon which foolish accident I had the name of Roxana presently fixed
upon me all over the court end of town as effectually as if I had been
christened Roxana. I had, it seems, the felicity of pleasing everybody
that night to an extreme; and my ball, but especially my dress, was the
chat of the town for that week; and so the name of Roxana was the toast
at and about the court; no other health was to be named with it.
Now things began to work as I would have them, and I began to be very
popular, as much as I could desire. The ball held till (as well as I was
pleased with the show) I was sick of the night; the gentlemen masked
went off about three o'clock in the morning, the other gentlemen sat
down to play; the music held it out, and some of the ladies were dancing
at six in the morning.
But I was mighty eager to know who it was danced with me. Some of the
lords went so far as to tell me I was very much honoured in my company;
one of them spoke so broad as almost to say it was the king, but I was
convinced afterwards it was not; and another replied if he had been his
Majesty he should have thought it no dishonour to lead up a Roxana; but
to this hour I never knew positively who it was; and by his behaviour I
thought he was too young, his Majesty being at that time in an age that
might be discovered from a young person, even in his dancing.
Be that as it would, I had five hundred guineas sent me the next
morning, and the messenger was ordered to tell me that the persons who
sent it desired a ball again at my lodgings on the next Tuesday, but
that they would have my leave to give the entertainment themselves. I
was mighty well pleased with this, to be sure, but very inquisitive to
know who the money came from; but the messenger was silent as death as
to that point, and bowing always at my inquiries, begged me to ask no
questions which he could not give an obliging answer to.
I forgot to mention, that the gentlemen that played gave a hundred
guineas to the box, as they called it, and at the end of their play they
asked for my gentlewoman of the bedchamber, as they called her (Mrs.
Amy, forsooth), and gave it her, and gave twenty guineas more among the
servants.
These magnificent doings equally both pleased and surprised me, and I
hardly knew where I was; but especially that notion of the king being
the person that danced with me, puffed me up to that degree, that I not
only did not know anybody else, but indeed was very far from knowing
myself.
I had now, the next Tuesday, to provide for the like company. But, alas!
it was all taken out of my hand. Three gentlemen, who yet were, it
seems, but servants, came on the Saturday, and bringing sufficient
testimonies that they were right, for one was the same who brought the
five hundred guineas; I say, three of them came, and brought bottles of
all sorts of wines, and hampers of sweetmeats to such a quantity, it
appeared they designed to hold the trade on more than once, and that
they would furnish everything to a profusion.
However, as I found a deficiency in two things, I made provision of
about twelve dozen of fine damask napkins, with tablecloths of the same,
sufficient to cover all the tables, with three tablecloths upon every
table, and sideboards in proportion. Also I bought a handsome quantity
of plate, necessary to have served all the sideboards; but the gentlemen
would not suffer any of it to be used, telling me they had bought fine
china dishes and plates for the whole service, and that in such public
places they could not be answerable for the plate. So it was set all up
in a large glass cupboard in the room I sat in, where it made a very
good show indeed.
On Tuesday there came such an appearance of gentlemen and ladies, that
my apartments were by no means able to receive them, and those who in
particular appeared as principals gave order below to let no more
company come up. The street was full of coaches with coronets, and fine
glass chairs, and, in short, it was impossible to receive the company. I
kept my little room as before, and the dancers filled the great room;
all the drawing-rooms also were filled, and three rooms below stairs,
which were not mine.
It was very well that there was a strong party of the guards brought to
keep the door, for without that there had been such a promiscuous crowd,
and some of them scandalous too, that we should have been all disorder
and confusion; but the three head servants managed all that, and had a
word to admit all the company by.
It was uncertain to me, and is to this day, who it was that danced with
me the Wednesday before, when the ball was my own; but that the king was
at this assembly was out of question with me, by circumstances that, I
suppose, I could not be deceived in, and particularly that there were
five persons who were not masked; three of them had blue garters, and
they appeared not to me till I came out to dance.
This meeting was managed just as the first, though with much more
magnificence, because of the company. I placed myself (exceedingly rich
in clothes and jewels) in the middle of my little room, as before, and
made my compliment to all the company as they passed me, as I did
before. But my Lord ----, who had spoken openly to me the first night,
came to me, and, unmasking, told me the company had ordered him to tell
me they hoped they should see me in the dress I had appeared in the
first day, which had been so acceptable that it had been the occasion of
this new meeting. "And, madam," says he, "there are some in this
assembly who it is worth your while to oblige."
I bowed to my Lord ----, and immediately withdrew. While I was above,
a-dressing in my new habit, two ladies, perfectly unknown to me, were
conveyed into my apartment below, by the order of a noble person, who,
with his family, had been in Persia; and here, indeed, I thought I
should have been outdone, or perhaps balked.
One of these ladies was dressed most exquisitely fine indeed, in the
habit of a virgin lady of quality of Georgia, and the other in the same
habit of Armenia, with each of them a woman slave to attend them.
The ladies had their petticoats short to their ankles, but plaited all
round, and before them short aprons, but of the finest point that could
be seen. Their gowns were made with long antique sleeves hanging down
behind, and a train let down. They had no jewels, but their heads and
breasts were dressed up with flowers, and they both came in veiled.
Their slaves were bareheaded, but their long, black hair was braided in
locks hanging down behind to their waists, and tied up with ribands.
They were dressed exceeding rich, and were as beautiful as their
mistresses; for none of them had any masks on. They waited in my room
till I came down, and all paid their respects to me after the Persian
manner, and sat down on a safra--that is to say, almost crosslegged, on
a couch made up of cushions laid on the ground.
This was admirably fine, and I was indeed startled at it. They made
their compliment to me in French, and I replied in the same language.
When the doors were opened, they walked into the dancing-room, and
danced such a dance as indeed nobody there had ever seen, and to an
instrument like a guitar, with a small low-sounding trumpet, which
indeed was very fine, and which my Lord ---- had provided.
They danced three times all alone, for nobody indeed could dance with
them. The novelty pleased, truly, but yet there was something wild and
_bizarre_ in it, because they really acted to the life the barbarous
country whence they came; but as mine had the French behaviour under the
Mahometan dress, it was every way as new, and pleased much better
indeed.
As soon as they had shown their Georgian and Armenian shapes, and
danced, as I have said, three times, they withdrew, paid their
compliment to me (for I was queen of the day), and went off to undress.
Some gentlemen then danced with ladies all in masks; and when they
stopped, nobody rose up to dance, but all called out "Roxana, Roxana."
In the interval, my Lord ---- had brought another masked person into my
room, who I knew not, only that I could discern it was not the same
person that led me out before. This noble person (for I afterwards
understood it was the Duke of ----), after a short compliment, led me
out into the middle of the room.
I was dressed in the same vest and girdle as before, but the robe had a
mantle over it, which is usual in the Turkish habit, and it was of
crimson and green, the green brocaded with gold; and my tyhiaai, or
head-dress, varied a little from that I had before, as it stood higher,
and had some jewels about the rising part, which made it look like a
turban crowned.
I had no mask, neither did I paint, and yet I had the day of all the
ladies that appeared at the ball, I mean of those that appeared with
faces on. As for those masked, nothing could be said of them, no doubt
there might be many finer than I was; it must be confessed that the
habit was infinitely advantageous to me, and everybody looked at me with
a kind of pleasure, which gave me great advantage too.
After I had danced with that noble person, I did not offer to dance by
myself, as I had before; but they all called out "Roxana" again; and two
of the gentlemen came into the drawing-room to entreat me to give them
the Turkish dance, which I yielded to readily, so I came out and danced
just as at first.
While I was dancing, I perceived five persons standing all together, and
among them only one with his hat on. It was an immediate hint to me who
it was, and had at first almost put me into some disorder; but I went
on, received the applause of the house, as before, and retired into my
own room. When I was there, the five gentlemen came across the room to
my side, and, coming in, followed by a throng of great persons, the
person with his hat on said, "Madam Roxana, you perform to admiration."
I was prepared, and offered to kneel to kiss his hand, but he declined
it, and saluted me, and so, passing back again through the great room,
went away.
I do not say here who this was, but I say I came afterwards to know
something more plainly. I would have withdrawn, and disrobed, being
somewhat too thin in that dress, unlaced and open-breasted, as if I had
been in my shift; but it could not be, and I was obliged to dance
afterwards with six or eight gentlemen most, if not all of them, of the
first rank; and I was told afterwards that one of them was the Duke of
M[onmou]th.
About two or three o'clock in the morning the company began to decrease;
the number of women especially dropped away home, some and some at a
time; and the gentlemen retired downstairs, where they unmasked and went
to play.
Amy waited at the room where they played, sat up all night to attend
them, and in the morning when they broke up they swept the box into her
lap, when she counted out to me sixty-two guineas and a half; and the
other servants got very well too. Amy came to me when they were all
gone; "Law, madam," says Amy, with a long gaping cry, "what shall I do
with all this money?" And indeed the poor creature was half mad with
joy.
I was now in my element. I was as much talked of as anybody could
desire, and I did not doubt but something or other would come of it; but
the report of my being so rich rather was a balk to my view than
anything else; for the gentlemen that would perhaps have been
troublesome enough otherwise, seemed to be kept off, for Roxana was too
high for them.
There is a scene which came in here which I must cover from human eyes
or ears. For three years and about a month Roxana lived retired, having
been obliged to make an excursion in a manner, and with a person which
duty and private vows obliges her not to reveal, at least not yet.
At the end of this time I appeared again; but, I must add, that as I had
in this time of retreat made hay, &c., so I did not come abroad again
with the same lustre, or shine with so much advantage as before. For as
some people had got at least a suspicion of where I had been, and who
had had me all the while, it began to be public that Roxana was, in
short, a mere Roxana, neither better nor worse, and not that woman of
honour and virtue that was at first supposed.
You are now to suppose me about seven years come to town, and that I had
not only suffered the old revenue, which I hinted was managed by Sir
Robert Clayton, to grow, as was mentioned before, but I had laid up an
incredible wealth, the time considered; and had I yet had the least
thought of reforming, I had all the opportunity to do it with advantage
that ever woman had. For the common vice of all whores, I mean money,
was out of the question, nay, even avarice itself seemed to be glutted;
for, including what I had saved in reserving the interest of £14,000,
which, as above, I had left to grow, and including some very good
presents I had made to me in mere compliment upon these shining
masquerading meetings, which I held up for about two years, and what I
made of three years of the most glorious retreat, as I call it, that
ever woman had, I had fully doubled my first substance, and had near
£5000 in money which I kept at home, besides abundance of plate and
jewels, which I had either given me or had bought to set myself out for
public days.
In a word, I had now five-and-thirty thousand pounds estate; and as I
found ways to live without wasting either principal or interest, I laid
up £2000 every year at least out of the mere interest, adding it to the
principal, and thus I went on.
After the end of what I call my retreat, and out of which I brought a
great deal of money, I appeared again, but I seemed like an old piece of
plate that had been hoarded up some years, and comes out tarnished and
discoloured; so I came out blown, and looked like a cast-off mistress;
nor, indeed, was I any better, though I was not at all impaired in
beauty except that I was a little fatter than I was formerly, and always
granting that I was four years older.
However, I preserved the youth of my temper, was always bright, pleasant
in company, and agreeable to everybody, or else everybody flattered me;
and in this condition I came abroad to the world again. And though I was
not so popular as before, and indeed did not seek it, because I knew it
could not be, yet I was far from being without company, and that of the
greatest quality (of subjects I mean), who frequently visited me, and
sometimes we had meetings for mirth and play at my apartments, where I
failed not to divert them in the most agreeable manner possible.
Nor could any of them make the least particular application to me, from
the notion they had of my excessive wealth, which, as they thought,
placed me above the meanness of a maintenance, and so left no room to
come easily about me.
But at last I was very handsomely attacked by a person of honour, and
(which recommended him particularly to me) a person of a very great
estate. He made a long introduction to me upon the subject of my wealth.
"Ignorant creature!" said I to myself, considering him as a lord, "was
there ever woman in the world that could stoop to the baseness of being
a whore, and was above taking the reward of her vice! No, no, depend
upon it, if your lordship obtains anything of me, you must pay for it;
and the notion of my being so rich serves only to make it cost you the
dearer, seeing you cannot offer a small matter to a woman of £2000 a
year estate."
After he had harangued upon that subject a good while, and had assured
me he had no design upon me, that he did not come to make a prize of me,
or to pick my pocket, which, by the way, I was in no fear of, for I took
too much care of my money to part with any of it that way, he then
turned his discourse to the subject of love, a point so ridiculous to me
without the main thing, I mean the money, that I had no patience to hear
him make so long a story of it.
I received him civilly, and let him see I could bear to hear a wicked
proposal without being affronted, and yet I was not to be brought into
it too easily. He visited me a long while, and, in short, courted me as
closely and assiduously as if he had been wooing me to matrimony. He
made me several valuable presents, which I suffered myself to be
prevailed with to accept, but not without great difficulty.
Gradually I suffered also his other importunities; and when he made a
proposal of a compliment or appointment to me for a settlement, he said
that though I was rich, yet there was not the less due from him to
acknowledge the favours he received; and that if I was to be his I
should not live at my own expense, cost what it would. I told him I was
far from being extravagant, and yet I did not live at the expense of
less than £500 a year out of my own pocket; that, however, I was not
covetous of settled allowances, for I looked upon that as a kind of
golden chain, something like matrimony; that though I knew how to be
true to a man of honour, as I knew his lordship to be, yet I had a kind
of aversion to the bonds; and though I was not so rich as the world
talked me up to be, yet I was not so poor as to bind myself to hardships
for a pension.
He told me he expected to make my life perfectly easy, and intended it
so; that he knew of no bondage there could be in a private engagement
between us; that the bonds of honour he knew I would be tied by, and
think them no burthen; and for other obligations, he scorned to expect
anything from me but what he knew as a woman of honour I could grant.
Then as to maintenance, he told me he would soon show me that he valued
me infinitely above £500 a year, and upon this foot we began.
I seemed kinder to him after this discourse, and as time and private
conversation made us very intimate, we began to come nearer to the main
article, namely, the £500 a year. He offered that at first word, and to
acknowledge it as an infinite favour to have it be accepted of; and I,
that thought it was too much by all the money, suffered myself to be
mastered, or prevailed with to yield, even on but a bare engagement upon
parole.
When he had obtained his end that way, I told him my mind. "Now you
see, my lord," said I, "how weakly I have acted, namely, to yield to you
without any capitulation, or anything secured to me but that which you
may cease to allow when you please. If I am the less valued for such a
confidence, I shall be injured in a manner that I will endeavour not to
deserve."
He told me that he would make it evident to me that he did not seek me
by way of bargain, as such things were often done; that as I had treated
him with a generous confidence, so I should find I was in the hands of a
man of honour, and one that knew how to value the obligation; and upon
this he pulled out a goldsmith's bill for £300, which (putting it into
my hand), he said, he gave me as a pledge that I should not be a loser
by my not having made a bargain with him.
This was engaging indeed, and gave me a good idea of our future
correspondence; and, in short, as I could not refrain treating him with
more kindness than I had done before, so one thing begetting another, I
gave him several testimonies that I was entirely his own by inclination
as well as by the common obligation of a mistress, and this pleased him
exceedingly.
Soon after this private engagement I began to consider whether it were
not more suitable to the manner of life I now led to be a little less
public; and, as I told my lord, it would rid me of the importunities of
others, and of continual visits from a sort of people who he knew of,
and who, by the way, having now got the notion of me which I really
deserved, began to talk of the old game, love and gallantry, and to
offer at what was rude enough--things as nauseous to me now as if I had
been married and as virtuous as other people. The visits of these people
began indeed to be uneasy to me, and particularly as they were always
very tedious and impertinent; nor could my Lord ---- be pleased with
them at all if they had gone on. It would be diverting to set down here
in what manner I repulsed these sort of people; how in some I resented
it as an affront, and told them that I was sorry they should oblige me
to vindicate myself from the scandal of such suggestions by telling them
that I could see them no more, and by desiring them not to give
themselves the trouble of visiting me, who, though I was not willing to
be uncivil, yet thought myself obliged never to receive any visit from
any gentleman after he had made such proposals as those to me. But these
things would be too tedious to bring in here. It was on this account I
proposed to his lordship my taking new lodgings for privacy; besides, I
considered that as I might live very handsomely, and yet not so
publicly, so I needed not spend so much money by a great deal; and if I
made £500 a year of this generous person, it was more than I had any
occasion to spend by a great deal.
My lord came readily into this proposal, and went further than I
expected, for he found out a lodging for me in a very handsome house,
where yet he was not known--I suppose he had employed somebody to find
it out for him--and where he had a convenient way to come into the
garden by a door that opened into the park, a thing very rarely allowed
in those times.
By this key he could come in at what time of night or day he pleased;
and as we had also a little door in the lower part of the house which
was always left upon a lock, and his was the master-key, so if it was
twelve, one, or two o'clock at night, he could come directly into my
bedchamber. _N.B._--I was not afraid I should be found abed with anybody
else, for, in a word, I conversed with nobody at all.
It happened pleasantly enough one night, his lordship had stayed late,
and I, not expecting him that night, had taken Amy to bed with me, and
when my lord came into the chamber we were both fast asleep. I think it
was near three o'clock when he came in, and a little merry, but not at
all fuddled or what they call in drink; and he came at once into the
room.
Amy was frighted out of her wits, and cried out. I said calmly, "Indeed,
my lord, I did not expect you to-night, and we have been a little
frighted to-night with fire." "Oh!" says he, "I see you have got a
bedfellow with you." I began to make an apology. "No, no," says my lord,
"you need no excuse, 'tis not a man bedfellow, I see;" but then, talking
merrily enough, he catched his words back: "But, hark ye," says he, "now
I think on 't, how shall I be satisfied it is not a man bedfellow?"
"Oh," says I, "I dare say your lordship is satisfied 'tis poor Amy."
"Yes," says he, "'tis Mrs. Amy; but how do I know what Amy is? it may be
Mr. Amy for aught I know; I hope you'll give me leave to be satisfied."
I told him, yes, by all means, I would have his lordship satisfied; but
I supposed he knew who she was.
Well, he fell foul of poor Amy, and indeed I thought once he would have
carried the jest on before my face, as was once done in a like case; but
his lordship was not so hot neither, but he would know whether Amy was
Mr. Amy or Mrs. Amy, and so, I suppose, he did; and then being satisfied
in that doubtful case, he walked to the farther end of the room, and
went into a little closet and sat down.
In the meantime Amy and I got up, and I bid her run and make the bed in
another chamber for my lord, and I gave her sheets to put into it; which
she did immediately, and I put my lord to bed there, and when I had
done, at his desire went to bed to him. I was backward at first to come
to bed to him, and made my excuse because I had been in bed with Amy,
and had not shifted me; but he was past those niceties at that time; and
as long as he was sure it was Mrs. Amy, and not Mr. Amy, he was very
well satisfied, and so the jest passed over. But Amy appeared no more
all that night, or the next day, and when she did, my lord was so merry
with her upon his eclaircissement, as he called it, that Amy did not
know what to do with herself.