RELATING TO OTHER MATTERS WHICH THE DEVIL EXHIBITED TO THE STUDENT.
"I must indulge you with a laugh," continued Asmodeus, "at the cost of
an amusing character whom you see walking into that coffee-house, over
the way. He is a Biscayan physician, and is going to sip his cup of
chocolate; after which he will return to his home to pass the day at
chess.
"While he is thus engaged, do not be alarmed for his patients; he
has none: and if he had, the moments he employs in play would not be
the worst for them. He moves from his chess-board in the evening to
repair to the house of a rich and handsome widow, with whom he would
be happy to mate, and for whom he affects a knightly passion. When he
is with her, a rascally valet, his only domestic, and who is aware of
his practice with the widow, brings him a false list, studded with the
names of noble lords and ladies who have sent to seek the doctor. The
lady dreams not he is playing false, and the Biscayan is therefore fast
entrapping her into a false move, which will win him the game.
[Illustration: three girls getting up]
"But," continued the Devil, "let us stop a moment at that house close
by; I would have you remark what is passing there before we look
elsewhere. Run your eyes over the rooms: what do you observe?" "Why,
I can discern some maidens, whose beauty dazzles me," replied the
Student. "Some are just leaving their beds, and others have already
risen. What charms do they present to my feasting eyes! I can fancy
I behold the nymphs of Diana, but more lovely than the poets have
depicted them."
"If those maidens, as you call them, and whom you admire so much,"
replied the Cripple, "have the graces of Diana's nymphs, they assuredly
want their chastity to complete the picture. They are a parcel of
good-natured females, who live upon a common fund. As dangerous as the
fair damsels of chivalry who arrested, by their charms, the knights who
passed before their castle walls, they seek to draw your less heroic
youths within their bowers. And woe betide those whom they ensnare! To
warn the passer-by of the peril which awaits him, beacons should be set
before their doors, as such friendly monitors are placed on dangerous
coasts to mark the places mariners should shun."
"I need not ask you," said Leandro Perez, "whither go those signors
whom I see lolling in their carriages: they are doubtless going to the
levée of the king." "You have said it," replied the Devil; "and if you
also would attend it, I will carry you there before them: we shall have
amusement enough, I promise you." "You could not have proposed a thing
more suited to my taste," replied Zambullo; "and I anticipate all the
pleasure you have promised me."
The Demon, although eager to satisfy Don Cleophas in his desires,
carried him leisurely towards the palace, so that, in their way, the
Student, perceiving some workmen employed upon a lofty doorway, asked
if it were the portal of a church they were constructing. "No," replied
Asmodeus, "it is the entrance to a new market; and it is magnificent as
you see. However, though they raised its arch until its point were lost
in clouds, it would be still unworthy of two Latin lines which are to
adorn its front."
"What say you?" cried Leandro;--"what a notion would you give me of the
verses that you speak of! I die with anxiety to hear them." "I will
repeat them, then," replied the Devil; "and do you prepare to admire
them.
'Quam bene Mercurius nunc merces vendit opimas,
Momus ubi fatuos vendidit ante sales!
"In these two lines is concealed one of the most delicate puns
imaginable." "I cannot say I yet perceive its point," said the Student;
"I do not clearly understand what is referred to by your _fatuos
sales_." "You are not then aware," replied the Devil, "that on the spot
where they are building this market for the sale of provisions, there
formerly stood a monkish college in which youth was inducted to the
humanities. The rectors of this college were in the habit of getting up
plays, in which the students figured on the stage. These plays were,
as you may suppose, flat enough as to effect and language; and were
enlivened by ballets, so amusingly absurd, that everything danced, even
to preterites and supines." "There! that is quite enough," interrupted
Zambullo; "I am quite alive to the stuff of which college pieces are
composed--excuse my pun--but the inscription is admirable."
Asmodeus and Don Cleophas had scarcely reached the grand staircase
of the palace, when the courtiers commenced the inflating labour of
mounting its polished steps. As they passed our unseen watchers, the
Devil did the honour of announcing them to the Student: "There," said
he, pointing with his finger as he spoke, "there is the Count de
Villalonso, of the house of Puebla d'Ellerena; this is the Marquis de
Castro Fueste; that is Don Lopez de Los Rios, president of the council
of finance; and here is the Count de Villa Hombrosa." He did not,
however, content himself thus with naming them; each had his legend:
and the Demon's sardonic spirit found in the character of each some
weakness to laugh at, or some vices to lay bare. None passed before him
unnoted.
"That signor," said he of one, "is affable and obliging; and listens
to you with an air of kindness. Do you ask his protection, he grants
it freely; nay, proffers you his interest. It is pity that a man who
loves so much to assist his fellow-creatures should have a memory so
bad, that a quarter of an hour after you have spoken to him, he should
forget all you have asked and he has promised.
"That duke," said he, speaking of another, "is one of the best
characters that haunts the court. He is not, like most of his equals,
one man at this moment and another the next; there is no caprice, no
inequality in his disposition. I may add to this, that he pays not with
ingratitude the affection that is shown for him, or the services that
are rendered in his behalf. Unfortunately, again, he is too slothful
to reward these kindnesses as they deserve: he leaves so long to be
desired what is so rightfully expected, that when the favour is at last
obtained, it is felt to have been dearly purchased."
After the Demon had thus exhibited to the Student the good and evil
qualities of a great number of signors, he conducted him into a room
in which there were all sorts and conditions of men, but especially so
many chevaliers, that Don Cleophas could not help exclaiming: "What
numberless knights! By our Lady! there must be enough and to spare of
them in Spain." "I can answer for that," replied the Cripple; "and it
is not at all surprising, since to be dubbed companion of St. Jago, or
of Calatrava, your vigilants require no five-and-twenty thousand crowns
in pocket or estate, as did formerly the knights of ancient Rome:
you perceive therefore that knighthood is an article most admirably
assorted.
"Observe," continued the Devil, "that common-looking fellow behind us."
"Hush!" interrupted Zambullo; "speak softly, or the man will hear you."
"No, no," replied Asmodeus; "the same charm which renders us invisible,
prevents our being heard. Examine him well: he is a Catalonian,
returned from the Philippines, where he ranged the seas as a pirate.
Could you conceive, to look on him, that you beheld a thunderbolt of
war? Nevertheless, he has performed, in his vocation, prodigies of
valour. He is here this morning, to present a petition to the king, in
which he asks, as a recompense for his services, a certain post, which
is vacant. I doubt, however, if he will succeed, inasmuch as he has
neglected duly to possess the prime minister with a proper notion of
his merits."
"I perceive on the right of the pirate," said Leandro Perez, "a tall
and bulky man, who is sufficiently impressed with an idea of his own
importance: to judge of his station by the pride of his bearing, he
is some wealthy grandee, certainly." "Nothing can be further from the
truth," replied the Demon: "he is one of the poorest of Hidalgos, who
lives on the profits of a gaming-table, under the protection of one of
the ministers.
"But I see a licentiate, who must not pass without your notice: it is
he whom you can perceive near the first window, in conversation with
a cavalier clad in velvet of a silver grey. They are discoursing of a
matter yesterday decided by the king; but I will tell you its history.
"Two months ago, this licentiate, who is an academician of Toledo,
published a work on morals, which shocked the orthodox opinions of all
your grey-headed authors of Castile: they found it full of vigorous
expressions and words newly introduced. It required no more to unite
them against so singular a production; and they therefore instantly
assembled, and agreed upon a petition to his majesty, praying him to
condemn the book as one written in a style dangerous to the purity and
simplicity of the Spanish tongue.
[Illustration: the three commissioners reporting to the king]
"The petition appearing worthy of attention to his majesty, he named
three commissioners to examine the work; and they estimating its
style to be really reprehensible, and the more so from its peculiar
brilliancy, upon their report the king has decreed that, under pain
of his displeasure, those academicians of Toledo who write after the
manner of the licentiate shall not dare to publish another book; and
further that, in order to preserve the language of Castile in all its
purity, such academicians, after their decease, shall be replaced by
persons of the first quality alone."
"That is indeed a marvellous decision!" cried Zambullo, laughing: "the
lovers of our vulgar tongue have henceforth nought to fear." "Excuse
me," replied the Devil; "but your writers who endanger that noble
chastity of style which forms the delight of all discerning readers,
are not confined to the Toledan academy."
Don Cleophas was now curious to learn who was the cavalier in
silver-grey habiliments, whom he beheld conversing with the hardy
moralist. "He," said the Cripple, "is a Catalonian, an officer of the
Spanish guard, and of course a younger son; but he is a youth whose
tongue is pointed as the sword he wears. To give you an example of his
wit, I will tell you of a repartee that he made yesterday to a lady
whom he met in high society. But to enable you to enjoy its pungency,
I must inform you that he has a brother, Don Andrea de Prada, who was
some years since, an officer, like himself, in the same corps.
"It happened one day that a farmer of the king's revenues came to this
Don Andrea, and said to him: 'Signor de Prada, I bear the same name as
you, but our families are different. I am aware that you belong to one
of the noblest houses in Catalonia, but at the same time that you are
not rich. Now, I am of a poor family, and have lots of wealth. Can we
not find a means, therefore, to communicate to each other that which we
mutually want? Have you your titles of nobility?' 'Certainly!' replied
Don Andrea. 'That being the case,' continued the other, 'if you will
confide the documents to my hands, I will place them in those of an
ingenious genealogist, who will set to work upon them, and will make
us relations in spite of our ancestors. On my part, as in duty bound,
I will make my kinsman a present of thirty thousand pistoles: is it a
bargain?' Don Andrea, dazzled by the proposition, accepted it at once,
gave the parchments to the farmer, and with the money he received
purchased an estate in his native province, where he now resides at his
ease.
"His younger brother, who gained nothing by the transaction, was dining
yesterday at a house where the conversation turned by chance on the
Signor de Prada, farmer of the king's revenues. On this, the lady of
whom I spoke, turning to the young officer, asked if the wealthy signor
were not related to him. 'No,' replied he, 'I have not that honour; but
I believe he is a relation of my brother's.'"
The Student laughed, as well he might, at this family distinction,
which appeared to him rather novel. But perceiving at the moment a
little man following a courtier, he cried out: "Bah! but yon homunculus
will lose nothing for the want of reverence to the signor whom he
shadows. He has some precious favour to intreat, beyond all doubt." "I
shall not occupy your time in vain," replied the Devil, "in telling
you the object of the obsequiousness you observe. The little man is an
honest citizen, who is proprietor of a country house in the suburbs of
Madrid, near which are some mineral springs of fashionable celebrity.
He has lent this house, rent free, for three months to this signor,
that the latter may drink the waters: he is at this moment very humbly
beseeching his noble tenant to serve him on a pressing opportunity
which offers; and the signor is very politely declining to do so.
"I must not let yon cavalier of plebeian race escape me. See, where he
wades through the expecting throng with all the air of one of note.
He has become immensely rich by force of calculation, and in his proud
mansion has as many servants as your first grandee; his table would
put to shame for delicacy and abundance that of a minister of state.
He has a carriage for himself, one for his wife, and another for his
children; and in his stables may be seen the best of mules and the most
splendid horses in the world. Only yesterday, he bought, and paid for
on the nail, a superb train of noble animals, that the prince of Spain
had partially agreed for, but had thought too dear." "What insolence!"
exclaimed Leandro. "A Turk, now, who beheld that lump of arrogance,
poised on so dangerous a height, would watch each instant for its
sudden fall." "I know nothing of the time to come," replied Asmodeus,
"but think your Turk would not be far from right.
"Ah! what is that I see?" continued the Demon with surprise. "Did
I wonder at any thing, I should disbelieve my eyes. I absolutely
discern within this room a poet--the last whom I should expect to see.
How dares he come within these walls?--he who could write in terms
offensive to their noblest visitants. He must count indeed on the
contempt that he is held in!
[Illustration: the chief magistrate and his page]
"But mark particularly that venerable man who enters now, supported by
a page. Observe with what respect the crowd divides to make way for
him. That is the signor Don José de Reynaste e Ayala, chief magistrate
of the police: he comes hither to inform the king of the events of last
night in the capital. Methinks, signor Student, that we could assist
him in his report! However, regard him with admiration, for he deserves
it." "In truth," replied Zambullo, "he looks like a man of worth." "It
would be well for Spain," replied the Cripple, "if all its corregidors
would take him for their model. He has none of that intemperate zeal
which urges those who should administer the law to violate its spirit
from impetuosity or caprice; and he respects too much the sacred
freedom of the person to deprive the meanest of his fellow-subjects of
that blessed right on the mere information of an alguazil, a clerk,
or even a secretary of police. He knows those gentlemen too well; and
that, for the most of them, their venal souls will scruple not to
traffic on the fund of his authority. When a man stands before him,
accused of crime, he may be sure that justice will be done towards him;
the evidence is sifted until truth is discovered; and thus the prisons,
instead of echoing the sighs of innocence, perform their proper office
of holding the guilty. Even these are not abandoned to the licence
which ordinarily reigns in gaols. He visits, as a man, those whom, as
a magistrate, he has condemned, and is careful that inhumanity, in its
dispensers, shall not add rigour to the law."
[Illustration: the chief magistrate visiting a prisoner]
"What an eulogium!" exclaimed Leandro; "you paint a man whom angels
might agree to worship! You rouse my curiosity to witness his reception
by the king." "I am annoyed," replied the Devil, "to be obliged to
tell you of my inability to gratify a wish that I expected, without at
least exposing myself to insult. It is not in my vocation, nor am I
permitted, to intrude myself on kings; their cabinet is the domain of
Leviathan, Belphegor, and Ashtaroth; I informed you, from my bottle,
that these three demons preside over the councils of princes. All
others of our craft are denied the entrée at court; and I know not what
I could have been thinking of, when I offered to bring you here: it
was a dangerous flight to take, I can assure you. If my three loving
brethren should perceive me, they would show me no favour, I promise
you, and between ourselves, I would rather avoid the conflict."
"That being so," replied the Student, "let us be off as quickly as you
please: I should die with grief to see you curried by those wretched
grooms, without being able to help you; for if I lent you a hand, I
expect you would shine none the brighter for my assistance." "Most
decidedly not," replied Asmodeus; "they would never feel the blows that
you could deal them, and you would have the satisfaction of dying under
theirs.
"But," he continued, "to console you for your exclusion from the
cabinet of your potent sovereign, I will procure you a pleasure quite
equal to the one you lose." And as he finished these words, he took the
Student's hand, and away they went, as fast as the Devil could fly,
toward the monastery of Mercy.