NEW OBJECTS DISPLAYED TO DON CLEOPHAS; AND HIS REVENGE ON DONNA THOMASA.
The Demon now directed the Student's attention to another part of the
city. "You see," he continued, "that house which is directly under
us: it contains something curious enough,--a man loaded with debt and
sleeping profoundly." "Of course then," said Leandro, "he is a person
of distinction?" "Precisely so," answered Asmodeus: "he is a marquis,
possessed of a hundred thousand ducats per annum, but whose expenses,
nevertheless, exceed his income. His table and his mistresses require
that he should support them with credit, but that causes him no
anxiety; on the contrary, when he opens an account with a tradesman,
he thinks that the latter is indebted to him. 'It is you,' said he the
other day to a draper, 'it is you, that I shall henceforth trust with
the execution of my orders; it is a preference which you owe to my
esteem.'
"While the marquis enjoys so tranquilly the sweet repose of which he
deprives his creditors, look at a man who----" "Stay, Signor Asmodeus,"
interrupted Don Cleophas hastily; "I perceive a carriage in the street,
and cannot let it pass without asking what it contains." "Hush," said
the Cripple, lowering his voice, as though he feared he should be
heard:--"learn that that vehicle conceals one of the most dignified
personages in this kingdom, a president, who is going to amuse himself
with an elderly lady of Asturia, who is devoted to his pleasures. That
he may not be known, he has taken the precaution of imitating Caligula,
who on a similar occasion disguised himself in a wig.
"But,--to return to the picture I was about to present to your sight
when you interrupted me,--observe, in the very highest part of the
mansion, where sleeps the marquis, a man who is writing in a chamber
filled with books and manuscripts." "He is probably," said Zambullo,
"the steward, labouring to devise some means for discharging his
master's obligations." "Excellent," exclaimed the Devil; "that, indeed,
forms a great part of the amusement of such gentry in the service of
noblemen! They seek rather to profit from derangement of their masters'
affairs than to put them in order. He is not, then, the steward whom
you see; he is an author: the marquis keeps him in his house, to obtain
the reputation of a patron of literature." "This author," replied Don
Cleophas, "is apparently a man of eminence." "Judge for yourself!"
replied the Demon. "He is surrounded by a thousand volumes, and is
composing one, on Natural History, in which there will not be a line of
his own. He pillages these books and manuscripts without mercy; and,
although he does nothing but arrange and connect his larcenies, he has
more vanity than the most original writer upon earth.
[Illustration: the author at work]
"You are not aware," continued the Spirit, "who lives three doors from
this mansion: it is La Chichona, the very lady who acted so honourable
a part in the story of the Count de Belflor." "Ah!" said Leandro, "I am
delighted to behold her. The dear creature, so considerate for youth,
is doubtless one of the two old ladies whom I perceive in that room.
One of them is leaning with both her elbows on the table, looking
attentively at the other, who is counting out some money. Which of
them is La Chichona?" "Not the one who is counting," said the Demon;
"her name is La Pebrada, and she is a distinguished member of the same
profession: they are, indeed, partners; and are at this moment dividing
the profits of an adventure which, by their assistance, has terminated
favourably.
[Illustration: La Chichona and La Pebrada divide the profits]
"La Pebrada is the more successful of the two: she has among her
clients several rich widows, who subscribe to her daily register."
"What do you mean by her register?" interrupted the Student. "Why,"
replied Asmodeus, "it contains the names of all handsome foreigners,
and particularly Frenchmen, who come to Madrid. The instant La Pebrada
hears of an arrival, away she posts to the hotel of the new comer,
to learn every particular as to his country, birth, parentage, and
education,--his age, form, and appearance, all which are duly reported
to her subscribers; and if, on reflection, the heart of any of her
widows is inclined to an acquaintance, she adroitly manages a speedy
interview with the stranger."
"That is extremely convenient," replied Zambullo, smiling, "and in
some sort very proper; for, in truth, without these kind ladies and
their agents, the youthful foreigner, who comes without introductions
to Madrid, would lose an immense deal of time in gaining them. But,
tell me, are there in other countries widows as generous and women as
intriguing?" "Capital!" exclaimed the Devil--"if there are? Why! can
you doubt it? I should be unworthy of my demonship if I neglected to
provide all large towns with them in plenty."
"Cast your eyes upon Chichona's neighbour,--yon printer, who is working
at his press, alone. He has dismissed the devils in his employ these
three hours; and he is now engaged, for the night, on a work which
he is printing privately." "Ah! what may it be?" said Leandro. "It
treats of insults," replied the Demon; "and endeavours to prove that
Religion is preferable to Honour; and that it is better to pardon than
to avenge an affront." "Oh! the scoundrel!" exclaimed the Student "Well
may he print in secret his infamous book. Its author had better not
acknowledge his production: I would be one of the first to answer it
with a horsewhip. What! can Religion forbid the preservation of one's
honour?"
"Let us not discuss that point," interrupted Asmodeus, with a malicious
smile. "It appears that you have made the most of the lectures on
morality you listened to at Alcala; and I give you joy of the result."
"You may say what you please," interrupted Cleophas in his turn, "and
so may the writer of this wretched absurdity: but though his reasonings
were clear as the noon-day sun, I should despise him and them. I am a
Spaniard, and nothing is to me so delightful as revenge; and, by the
by, since you have pledged yourself to satisfy me for the perfidy of my
mistress, I call on you at once to keep your promise."
"I yield with pleasure," replied the Demon, "to the wrath which
agitates your breast. Oh! how I love those noble spirits who follow
without scruple the dictates of their passions! I will obey your will
at once; and indeed, the hour to avenge your wrongs is come: but first
I wish to show you something which will amuse you vastly. Look beyond
the printing-office, and observe with attention what is passing in an
apartment, hung with drab cloth." "I perceive," said Leandro, "five or
six women, who are with eagerness offering phials of something to a
sort of valet, and they appear desperately agitated."
"They are," replied Asmodeus, "devotees, who have great reason to be
agitated. There is in the next room a sick inquisitor. This venerable
personage, who is about thirty-five years old, is attended by two of
his dearest penitents, with untiring watchfulness. One is concocting
his gruel, while the other at his pillow is employed in keeping his
head warm, and is covering his stomach with a kind of blanket made of
at least fifty lamb-skins." "What on earth is the matter with him,
then?" asked Zambullo. "He has a cold in his head," answered the Devil;
"and there is danger lest the disorder should extend to his lungs."
[Illustration: the inquisitor nursed by two penitents]
"The ladies whom you see in his antechamber have hastened, on the
alarm of his indisposition, with all sorts of remedies. One brings,
to allay his apprehended cough, syrups of jujubes, mallows, coral,
and coltsfoot; another, to preserve the said lungs of his reverence,
syrups of long-life, speedwell, amaranth, and the elixir vitæ; this
one, to fortify his brain and stomach, has brought balm, cinnamon, and
treacle waters, besides gutta vitæ, and the essences of nutmegs and
ambergris; that offers anacardine and bezoardic confections; while a
fifth carries tinctures of cloves, gilly-flowers, sunflowers, and of
coral and emeralds. All these zealous penitents are boasting to the
valet of the virtues of the medicines they offer; and each by turns,
drawing him aside, and slipping a ducat in his hand, whispers in his
ear: 'Laurence, my dear Laurence, manage so, I beg of you, that what I
bring for the dear man may have the preference.'"
"By Jupiter!" cried Don Cleophas, "it must be allowed that
inquisitors--even sick inquisitors--are happy mortals." "I can answer
for that," replied Asmodeus; "I almost envy them their lot, myself;
and, like the son of Philip of Macedon, who once said that he would
have been Diogenes, if he had not been Alexander, I can unhesitatingly
say, that, if I were not a devil I would be an inquisitor."
"But, Signor Student," continued he, "let us go! Let us away, to punish
the ingrate who so ill-requited your tenderness." Zambullo instantly
seized the end of the Demon's cloak, and a second time was whirled with
him through the air, until they alighted on the house of Donna Thomasa.
This frail damsel was seated at table, with the four gentlemen who,
a few hours before, had so eagerly sought the acquaintance of Don
Cleophas on the roof of her house. He trembled with rage, as he beheld
them feasting on a brace of partridges and a rabbit, which, with some
choice wine, he had sent to the traitress for his own supper; and, to
add to his mortification, he perceived that joy reigned in the repast;
and that it was evident, by the deportment of the lady, that the
company of these scoundrels was much more agreeable to her than that of
himself. "Oh! the wretches!" he cried, in a perfect fury, "to see them
enjoying themselves at my expense! Vastly pleasant, is it not?"
"Why, I must confess," replied the Demon, "that you have witnessed
spectacles more pleasing; but he who rejoices in the favours of such
fair ones must expect to share them. This sort of thing has happened a
thousand times; especially in France, among the abbés, the gentlemen of
the long robe, and the financiers." "If I had a sword, though," said
Leandro, "I would fall upon the villains, and spoil their sport for
them." "You would be hardly matched," replied the Demon;--"what were
one among so many? Leave your revenge to me! I will manage it better
than you could. I will soon set them together by the ears, in inspiring
each of them with a fit of tenderness for your mistress: their swords
will be out in no time, and you will be delighted with the uproar."
[Illustration: The guests quarrel over Donna Thomasa]
Asmodeus had no sooner spoken than he breathed forcibly, and from his
mouth issued a violet-coloured vapour which descended tortuously,
like a fiery serpent, and spread itself round the table of Donna
Thomasa. In an instant, one of her guests, more inflammable than his
companions, rose from his seat, and, approaching the lady, embraced
her amorously; when the others, in whom the spirit had begun to work,
hastened together to snatch from him the dainty prize. Each claimed
a preference: words ensued; a jealous rage possessed them; blows
succeeded, and, as the Devil had foretold, they drew their weapons and
commenced a furious combat. In the meanwhile Donna Thomasa exerted
her lungs, and the neighbourhood was speedily alarmed by her cries.
They call for the police; the police arrive: they break open the
door, and find two of the Hectors extended on the floor. They seize
upon the others, and take them with the Helen of the party to prison.
In vain did she weep; in vain did she tear her locks, and exclaim
in despair:--the tears of unfortunate beauty had no more effect on
the cavaliers who conducted her, than they had on her former knight
Zambullo, who almost died with laughter, in which the god of love most
unnaturally joined him.
"Well!" said the Demon to the Student, "are you content?" "No, no!"
replied Don Cleophas; "to satisfy me in full, place me upon the prison,
that I may have the pleasure of beholding in her dungeon, the miserable
who trifled with my love. I feel for her, now, a hatred which exceeds
even the affection with which she formerly inspired me." "Be it so!"
said the Devil; "you shall ever find me a slave to your will, though
it interfered with mine and my interests,--provided always, that it is
safe to indulge you."
[Illustration: Donna Thomasa in prison]
They flew through the air, and were on the prison before the officers
arrived with their captives. The two assassins were at once consigned
to one of its lowest deeps, while Thomasa was led to a bed of straw,
which she was to share with three or four other abandoned women, who
had fallen into the hands of justice the same day; and with whom she
was destined to be transported to the colonies, which a grateful mother
country generally endows with this description of female inhabitants.
"I am satisfied," said Zambullo; "I have tasted a delicious revenge:
my dear Thomasa will not pass the night quite so pleasantly as
she had anticipated. So, now, if you please, we will continue our
observations." "We could not be in a better place, then," replied the
Spirit. "Within these walls is much to interest you. Innocent and
guilty, in somewhat equal numbers, are here enclosed: it is the hell
in which commences the punishment of the one, and the purgatory in
which the virtue of the others may be purified,--you see I'm a good
Catholic, Signor Student! Of both of these species of prisoners I will
show you examples, and I will inform you why they are here enfettered."