The Innocents Abroad
Mark Twain's (Burlesque) Auto-biography
First Romance.
Roughing it
The Gilded Age (With Charles Dudley Warner)
Sketches New and Old
My Watch
Political Economy
The Jumping Frog
Journalism in Tennessee
The Story of the Bad Little Boy
The Story of the Good Little Boy
A Couple of Poems by Twain and Moore
Niagara
Answers to Correspondents
To Raise Poultry
Experience of the Mcwilliamses with Membranous Croup
My First Literary Venture
How the Author Was Sold in Newark
The Office Bore
Johnny Greer
The Facts in the Case of the Great Beef Contract
The Case of George Fisher
Disgraceful Persecution of a Boy
The Judges "Spirited Woman"
Information Wanted
Some Learned Fables, for Good Old Boys and Girls
My Late Senatorial Secretaryship
A Fashion Item
Riley-newspaper Correspondent
A Fine Old Man
Science Vs. Luck
The Late Benjamin Franklin
Mr. Bloke's Item
A Medieval Romance
Petition Concerning Copyright
After-dinner Speech
Lionizing Murderers
A New Crime
A Curious Dream
A True Story
The Siamese Twins
Speech at the Scottish Banquet in London
A Ghost Story
The Capitoline Venus
Speech on Accident Insurance
John Chinaman in New York
How I Edited an Agricultural Paper
The Petrified Man
My Bloody Massacre
The Undertaker's Chat
Concerning Chambermaids
Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man
"After" Jenkins
About Barbers
"Party Cries" in Ireland
The Facts Concerning The Recant Resignation
History Repeats Itself
Honored as a Curiosity
First Interview Kith Artemus Ward
Cannibalism in The Cars
The Killing of Julius Caesar "Localized"
The Widow's Protest
The Scriptural Panoramist
Curing a Cold
A Curious Pleasure Excursion
Running for Governor
A Mysterious Visit
The Curious Republic of Gondour and Other Whimsical Sketches
The Curious Republic of Gondour
A Memory
Introductory to "Memoranda".
About Smells
A Couple of Sad Experiences
Dan Murphy
The "Tournament" in A.d. 1870
Curious Relic for Sale
A Reminiscence of The Back Settlements
A Royal Compliment
The Approaching Epidemic
The Tone-imparting Committee
Our Precious Lunatic
The European War
The Wild Man Interviewed
Last Words of Great Men
The Facts Concerning The Recent Carnival of Crime in Connecticut
Mark Twain's [Date, 1601]
Conversation as it Was by The Social Fireside in The Time of The Tudors
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
The Loves of Alonzo Fitz Clarence and Rosannah EThelton and Other Stories
The Loves of Alonzo Fitz Clarence and Rosannah Ethelton
On The Decay of The Art of Lying
About Magnanimous-incident Literature
The Grateful Poodle
The Benevolent Author
The Grateful Husband
Punch, Brothers, Punch
The Great Revolution in Pitcairn
The Canvasser's Tale
An Encounter with an Interviewer
Paris Notes
Legend of Sagenfeld, in Germany
Speech on The Babies
Speech on The Weather
Concerning The American Language
Rogers
Some Rambling Notes of an Idle Excursion
The Stolen White Elephant
A Tramp Abroad
The Prince and The Pauper
Life on The Mississippi
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
The American Claimant
Extracts from Adam's Diary
In Defence of Harriet Shelley
Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offences
Essays on Paul Bourget
What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us
A Little Note to M. Paul Bourget
Tom Sawyer Abroad
The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
Those Extraordinary Twins
Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc
Tom Sawyer, Detective
Following The Equator, a Journey Around The World
The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg
The Hadleyberg Other Stories
My First Lie, and How I Got out of it
The Esquimaux Maiden's Romance
Christian Science and The Book of Mrs. Eddy
Is He Living or Is He Dead?
My Debut as a Literary Person
At The Appetite-cure
Concerning The Jews
From The 'London Times' of 1904
About Play-acting
Travelling with a Reformer
Diplomatic Pay and CloThes
Luck
The Captain's Story
Stirring Times in Austria
Meisterschaft
My Boyhood Dreams
To The above Old People
In Memoriam--Olivia Susan Clemens
What Is Man and Other Essays
What Is Man?
The Death of Jean
The Turning-point of My Life
How to Make History Dates Stick
The Memorable Assassination
A Scrap of Curious History
Switzerland, The Cradle of Liberty
At The Shrine of St. Wagner
William Dean Howells
English as She Is Taught
A Simplified Alphabet
As Concerns Interpreting The Deity
Concerning Tobacco
Taming The Bicycle
Is Shakespeare Dead?
The Mysterious Stranger and Other Stories
The Mysterious Stranger
A Fable
Hunting The Deceitful Turkey
The Mcwilliamses and The Burglar Alarm
A Double Barreled Detective
A Dog's Tale
The $30,000 Bequest and Other Stories
The $30,000 Bequest
A Dog's Tale
Was it Heaven? Or Hell?
A Cure for The Blues
The Enemy Conquered; Or, Love Triumphant
The Californian's Tale
A Helpless Situation
A Telephonic Conversation
Edward Mills and George Benton: A Tale
The Five Boons of Life
The First Writing-machines
Italian Without a Master
Italian with Grammar
a Burlesque Biography
How to Tell a Story
General Washington's Negro Body-servant
Wit Inspirations of The "Two-year-olds"
An Entertaining Article
a Letter to The Secretary of The Treasury
Amended Obituaries
A Monument to Adam
A Humane Word from Satan
Introduction to "The New Guide of The
Conversation in Portuguese and English"
Advice to Little Girls
Post-mortem Poetry
The Danger of Lying in Bed
Portrait of King William Iii
Does The Race of Man Love a Lord?
Extracts from Adam's Diary
Eve's Diary
A Horse's Tale
Christian Science
Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
Is Shakespeare Dead?
On The Decay of The Art of Lying
Goldsmith's Friend Abroad Again
How to Tell a Story and Other Stories
How to Tell a Story
The Wounded Soldier
The Golden Arm
Mental Telegraphy Again
The Invalids Story
Mark Twain's Speeches
Introduction
Preface
The Story of a Speech
Plymouth Rock and The Pilgrims
Compliments and Degrees
Books, Authors, and Hats
Dedication Speech
Die Schrecken Der Deutschen Sprache.
The Horrors of The German Language
German for The Hungarians
A New German Word
Unconscious Plagiarism
The WeaTher
The Babies
Our Children and Great Discoveries
Educating Theatre-goers
The Educational Theatre
Poets as Policemen
Pudd'nhead Wilson Dramatized
Daly Theatre
The Dress of Civilized Woman
Dress Reform and Copyright
College Girls
Girls
The Ladies
Woman's Press Club
Votes for Women
Woman-an Opinion
Advice to Girls
Taxes and Morals
Tammany and Croker
Municipal Corruption
Municipal Government
China and The Philippines
Theoretical and Practical Morals
Layman's Sermon
University Settlement Society
Public Education Association
Education and Citizenship
Courage
The Dinner to Mr. Choate
On Stanley and Livingstone
Henry M. Stanley
Dinner to Mr. Jerome
Henry Irving
Dinner to Hamilton W. Mabie
Introducing Nye and Riley
Dinner to Whitelaw Reid
Rogers and Railroads
The Old-fashioned Printer
Society of American Authors
Reading-room Opening
Literature
Disappearance of Literature
The New York Press Club Dinner
The Alphabet and Simplified Spelling
Spelling and Pictures
Books and Burglars
Authors' Club
Booksellers
"Mark Twain's First Appearance"
Morals and Memory
Queen Victoria
Joan of Arc
Accident Insurance--etc.
Osteopathy
Water-supply
Mistaken Identity
Cats and Candy
Obituary Poetry
Cigars and Tobacco
Billiards
The Union Right or Wrong?
An Ideal French Address
Statistics
Galveston Orphan Bazaar
San Francisco Earthquake
Charity and Actors
Russian Republic
Russian Sufferers
Watterson and Twain as Rebels
Robert Fulton Fund
Fulton Day, Jamestown
Lotos Club Dinner in Honor of Mark Twain
Copyright
In Aid of The Blind
Dr. Mark Twain, Farmeopath
Missouri University Speech
Business
Carnegie The Benefactor
On Poetry, Veracity, and Suicide
Welcome Home
An Undelivered Speech
Sixty-seventh Birthday
To The Whitefriars
The Ascot Gold Cup
The Savage Club Dinner
General Miles and The Dog
When in Doubt, Tell The Truth
The Day We Celebrate
Independence Day
Americans and The English
About London
Princeton
The St. Louis Harbor-boat "Mark Twain"
Seventieth Birthday
Mark Twain's Letters 1853-1910
Arranged with Comment by Albert Bigelow Paine
Mark Twain, a Biography, by Albert Bigelow Paine
SELECTED QUOTATIONS OF MARK TWAIN
By David Widger
Project Gutenberg has now posted over sixty of the works of Mark Twain.
It is hoped that this compilation of the editor's favorite quotations
will be of interest and use. All the titles may be found using the
Project Gutenberg search engine. After downloading a specific file,
the location and complete context of the quotations may be found by
inserting a small part of the quotation into the 'Find; or 'Search'
funtions of the user's word processing program.
The quotations are in two formats:
1. Small paragraphs from the text.
2. An alphabetized list of one-liners.
The editor would be pleased to be contacted at <widger@cecomet.net>
for comments, questions and criticism.