Only two weeks more! Letters had come from our parents to us and to our
tutors, saying that we must return to Bristol on November the first.
Our great amusement at this time was shooting, as boating had become
somewhat cold work. Now and then we knocked down a few straggling wild
fowl, which at that early season had incautiously approached our cape,
not aware of the sportsmen residing on it. Our tutors entered
enthusiastically into the sport, borrowing guns from the town across the
bay, and joining Walter and Harry every afternoon. We other fellows
were also allowed to be there to take charge of Ugly, who entered into
the sport as warmly as any of us. We generally stayed on the neck until
near sunset, and just as the rabbits were out for their supper, started
for home. That was Ugly's half-hour of sport, in which he was always
sure to bring two or three rabbits round to the guns. Mr Clare could
not shoot as well as Walter, or even Harry, at flying game, but he was
first-rate at rabbits; let them jump as fast and high as they might,
with Ugly only ten feet behind, and if our fresh tute pulled on them;
they were sure to fall. With the Captain things went differently, much
to our amusement; for our salt tute cared not how much we laughed at his
failures, which all his shots were. He brought up his gun as if it were
a harpoon, and always gave it a jerk, to help it shoot farther, when he
pulled the trigger. The butt was seldom at his shoulder; and as he
insisted upon putting immense loads in his gun, the results were
sometimes disastrous to him and ridiculous to us. He often sprang back
after a shot, as if he had been kicked by a horse, or wrung his hands,
which had borne the recoil. His misses and misfortunes, however, never
made him angry or dejected. After each failure, out came the red
bandanna to wipe his brow, and as a shout of laughter greeted the
performance, he would say calmly, with only a gleam of a smile, "So,
boys, you think I missed, eh? Well, _perhaps_ I did."
Clump and Juno having been much alarmed and excited by the discovery of
the smugglers, we boys determined to profit by their disquieted state of
mind, and hatched a scheme to afford some fun. We watched an
opportunity to put it in execution. The time came one evening when our
tutors did not return with us to the house after the afternoon's
shooting, but went to the _Clear the Track_, to chat and settle some
other matters until tea-time at seven.
Delighted with the arrangement, we boys ran to the house, and, getting
up into our attic, began to make preparations for the trick we had
concocted. There was nothing very original in our plan, I must own, nor
was it, I confess, a very grand or noble thing to try and frighten a
couple of poor ignorant negroes, for such was the object just then of
our plans and preparations. Clump and Juno had a wholesome dread of
smugglers and of the acts of vengeance of which they were supposed to be
capable. We therefore arranged to dress up so as to make ourselves look
as formidable as possible, and then to appear suddenly before the old
couple. For this purpose we brought up from the wreck all the boat
cloaks, greatcoats, and pieces of canvas which we could find, and
sou'westers and tarpaulin hats, not forgetting some pistols and rusty
swords. Besides these we laid in a store of pasteboard, and brown and
coloured paper, and some laths, and string, and paint, and corks, and
tow. With this abundant supply of materials we set to work to fabricate
a variety of garments, such as we supposed smugglers would wear; at all
events, such as were worn on the stage. We made a sufficient number of
false noses to supply each of our faces, and long curling moustaches,
which made those who wore them look very fierce. Some had wigs with
wonderfully long shaggy hair, and others beards of prodigious growth.
The greatcoats and cloaks served for most of the party, with belts round
their waists stuck full of daggers made of wood, and a real pistol or
two. Then we manufactured out of the canvas some high boots of huge
proportions; the upper part capable of containing the whole of a man's
personal luggage, and a day's supply of provender into the bargain.
Nothing could exceed, either, the wild and ferocious appearance of our
hats. Two of us wore black feathers in them, and two others were
adorned with death's heads and cross bones: indeed, it must be confessed
that we represented much more a band of pirates of two or three
centuries back than a party of such smugglers as it was probable could
be found on the British coast. Besides the real swords we possessed, we
manufactured some hangers out of wood, which we hung by sashes at our
sides. In fact, our disguises were complete in every respect, and so
fierce did we all appear, that I truly believe, had one of us met
another in any gloomy, half-lighted place, both heroes would have run
away. Walter took an active part in all the arrangements, and being the
tallest and well stuffed out, looked every inch of him a bold smuggler.
It is wonderful what burnt cork and rouge and dark locks will effect in
turning a mild, gentle-looking person into a fierce leader of outlaws.
It was arranged that Drake and I should go down first before dressing
up, to prepare the way for the rest of the actors, then he was first to
step out, and I was to follow, and get ready. All being at length
prepared, we descended to the kitchen, and strolled in there in a tired
way, as if we were just in the humour to listen to the old blackies'
talk and receive their petting. Clump, sitting bent over the fire to
get light for his work, was cutting some tholes for the boat with his
knife. "Hi," he said, as he saw us enter, "dat's good fur sore eyes."
And Juno, taking the pipe from her mouth, greeted us with a long whiff
of smoke, and--
"I'se glad you'se cum--getten dark an glum 'ere, only ole Clump an me.
What do yun Massas shoot?" Drake held up a couple of rabbits and three
wild fowl. "Oh! de gorry--all dem!--well, dis chile nebber sees de
like; an you'se gwine ter gib dem ter Clump agin--'spects so, all you'se
don't want. De ole niggers be rich dis winter."
Clump, when he had got us seats, dusting the kitchen chairs with his
long coat-tails, resumed his task, and as Juno's garrulousness ran on,
he shook his head and chuckled, and muttered and grinned, just as if he
were behind the scenes and prompting her to amuse us. He always had
that funny way of grimacing and conversing with himself gaily, whilst
Juno indulged in her talkative fits. He admired his old partner hugely.
Once, when travelling with my father, he heard at an Assize some great
lawyer make a speech, and said, when the orator had concluded--
"De'clar, Massa, dat's fine; dis nigger nebber hear anyone speak like
dat afore, 'cept--'cept Juno."
By-and-by, as Juno's talk ran sluggishly, and the pipe required much
picking and blowing, Clump got up to put by his work and light a lamp.
But that we forbid, saying the firelight was so much pleasanter.
"Dat's so," said Juno, who had got her solace in good order again, and
was all ready to start off on a new stream of jabber. "Dat's so--Clump
not ole nuff ter know dat fire-lite more good dan lam-lite. Hi! hi! he
only chile yit."
Drake interrupted there, to turn the conversation into another channel,
by saying that we should leave the old house soon to go back to Bristol,
and Clump asked, having taken a seat on the wood-box directly under the
trap-door, "An you'se glad--glad? 'Spects de ole house git cole an dull
to yous now; 'spects de yun Massas want git home?"
"Well, no, Clump," answered Drake; "I don't want to go away--that is, we
would not want to go if--if--if we had not been somewhat frightened this
evening."
Juno, because of her deafness, did not plainly hear what Drake had said,
but she judged it in part from his manner and the assumed look of terror
that he cast over his shoulder. So she bent forward anxiously, and
asked him in a voice full of concern--
"Wat's dat, Massa Drake--wat's dat you say?" Drake drew nearer to her
and repeated what he had said. "My hebbens, Massa Drake, wat did scar
you?"
"Well, you see, Aunt Juno," replied Drake, looking cautiously about him
again in the darkness of the room--"Bob and I were coming round at the
back of the house, when we heard, or thought we heard, whispering, and
on drawing nearer, we heard some fearful threats uttered; I cannot say
what they were, they were so dreadful."
"Oh! don't talk so, Massa Drake, if dere was anybody, dey must be de
smugglers, and dey will come to cut all our troats," exclaimed Juno,
looking cautiously round over her shoulder.
I cannot say that even then, thoughtless as I was, I liked what Drake
had said, because he had told a positive falsehood, and it was no excuse
to declare that it was said in joke. Drake continued, his voice growing
more and more tremulous every instant, as if with terror--"That's not
all. As we crept away undiscovered, we heard the tramp of many feet
coming up from the shore, and we shouldn't be surprised if at this very
moment the house was surrounded by smugglers, come to carry us all off
to foreign lands, to make slaves of us."
"Or to make soup of us," I cried out, wringing my hands. "Oh dear, oh
dear, oh dear!"
"What has become of Walter and the rest, it is impossible to say," added
Drake. "Too probably they have been already spirited away by the
smugglers. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!" he exclaimed, and, jumping up,
ran out as if to look for them.
Juno and Clump were, it seemed, very much alarmed, both rolling their
large eyes round and round till they grew bigger and bigger. Certain
noises outside increased the terror of the two poor souls, but I knew
that they indicated impatience on the part of my companions.
Accordingly, exclaiming that I would bear it no longer, I too jumped up,
and ran after Drake. As neither of us returned, it was but natural that
Juno and Clump should have supposed that we had been carried off by the
smugglers. There the two poor souls sat, shivering and trembling with
alarm, not daring to go out, for fear of finding their worst
anticipations realised. At last, Clump--who was really a brave fellow
at heart, though just then overtaken by a nervous fit--got up, and,
taking his old gun from over the mantelpiece, prepared to load it.
Several pair of sharp eyes had been watching proceedings from outside.
Now was the moment for action. Led by Walter, in we rushed, and then
advanced with threatening gestures towards the old couple. We were
afraid of uttering any sound, lest the well-known tones of our voices
should have betrayed us. Juno was at first the most alarmed. She did
not scream or shriek, however, but, falling on her knees, appeared as if
she was thus resolved to meet her death. Poor old Clump meantime stood
gazing at us with an almost idiotic stare, till Walter, advancing, gave
him a slap on the back, sufficient, it must be owned, to rouse him up.
At first, the blow adding to his overwhelming terror, he rolled over, a
mere bundle of blackness, into the wood-box, nothing being visible to us
but two long quivering feet and five black fingers. But in a moment
after, with his still unloaded gun in his hand, he sprang up like a
madman, jumped over the table, and, not trying to open the door, burst
through the window, smashing half a dozen panes of glass.
Who should open the door just then and come in, as Clump demolished the
window and went out, but Captain Mugford! Having left Mr Clare
enjoying a nap on a sofa in the brig, he had come up to the house, and,
hearing the frightful noises in the kitchen, rushed in there. So much
was he prepared by the yells that escaped for some tragic scene of
scalding or other accident, that it required two or three minutes before
he could take in the meaning of the commotion. But when he recognised
in the fierce smugglers a party of his young friends, and when he beheld
Juno's situation, and the shattered frame through which Clump had
struggled, he took the joke, and broke into the most elephantine
convulsions of laughter that I ever heard or witnessed. For half a
minute, at least, he shook and shook internally, and then exploded. An
explosion was no sooner finished than the internal spasm recommenced,
and so he went on until I really feared he might injure himself. After
five minutes of such attack, he managed to draw out his bandanna and
cover his face with it, and then, whilst we watched his figure shaking
and quivering, we heard, like groans, from beneath the handkerchief, "Oh
ur-rh-ha--ar--uh! Bless me!" When he took down his handkerchief and
happened to see Juno rising from her knees, he swelled up again like a
balloon, and then eased off gradually in splutterings and moans as a
dying porpoise. After which, he went and pacified Juno, and tried to
explain to her what a wicked trick we had been guilty of, and that the
band of smugglers, after all, were only the boys she knew so well, and
he proceeded to disrobe us, one by one, so that the old woman might
comprehend the joke. And so she did, but she sat motionless for a time,
until some portion of her usual composure returned; and then she got up
with many a sigh and mutterings of "Ki! ki! tink dat's wicked--frite ole
Juno so--oh Lor!" but before tea was served, I heard her chuckling
slyly, and turning towards us again and again as she poured the hot milk
on the toast she was dishing up. We meantime were employed in peeling,
and by degrees got restored to our usual appearance, and we then hurried
up to our rooms to wash off the rouge and the marks of burnt cork with
which our faces were covered. But the Captain sat down and shook
quietly for a long while, the tears rolling down his face, and his
fingers opening and closing convulsively on the handkerchief. And when
tea was quite ready, he went off to hunt up Clump.
Mr Clare came in soon after, but we had, by that time, got the better
of the fun, and removed all traces of the commotion. When the Captain
joined us at the table, he had another laughing spasm before he could
say or eat anything; but for the remainder of the evening he controlled
himself pretty well, only breaking out about half a dozen times, and
blowing his nose until it was very red and swollen. However, Mr Clare
never heard of the way the poor negroes had been frightened by a
practical joke, a thing he particularly disliked and had often spoken
against.