TEN DAYS LATER
“Good marning Delia” ses Mrs. Bang (the widdy acrost the strate) “Is
anny wan at home?”
“Oh yes mam” ses I, litting her in throo the fly dure. “Mr. John” ses I
“is after shaving his face mam” ses I “Will ye wait till hes throo?”
“Why anny of the family will do” ses she, flushing.
“Ye’ll find Mr. Wolley” ses I “in the stable. Hes oondernathe the
ortermobile as yushul. Mrs. Wolley is after taking her noonday syester,
as Mr. James calls it and Miss Claire is in her room. Mr. James has gone
to town. Mr. Billy is hilping his daddy.”
“I’ll see Miss Wolley” ses she hortily.
I wint oop to tell Miss Claire. She looked a bit poot out.
“Wheres John?” she arsked at wanse.
“Shaving miss” ses I.
She wint down stares, and she and the widder kissed. I wint abboot me
wark doosting the dyning rume, and wiping oop the parkay flure wid a
greesy cloth, manewhile linding an eer to the illygunt convysashun of
the widdy. She do be fond of the sownd of her own voyce, and she
threated the puir yung crachure to sooch an indless strame of sinsliss
gossip as iver I had the misforthune to lissen to befure. Puir Miss
Claire sat wid her chin on her hand, pretinding to lissen but heering
not a word of the widdy’s discurse. After a bit the widdy seemed to tak
notiss of her silinse.
“You seem a bit distray this marning deer” ses she.
Miss Claire set up.
“Oh no no” ses she, “I—I’m all rite Mrs. Bangs.”
The widder leened back and fanned hersilf carelissly.
“So Harry Dudley has gone” ses she, wotching Miss Claire. “It was very
suddint I belave.”
Miss Claire was all awake now, white and red in turn, but she sed
nuthing.
“And Una Robbins is gone too” ses the widder. Suddintly she closed up
her fan sharply. “Do you no” ses she “I want to say sumthing to you
orful badly but I feel I haven’t the rite to—not being a mimber of your
family.”
Joost then Mr. John cum down, looking very spry and neet wid his new
shaven face and hare frish brushed.
“Hello” ses he, and shuk the widder’s hands. “Are you going Claire?” ses
he, for she was going tord the stares.
“If Mrs. Bangs will excuse me” ses she, “I’ll finish the litter I was
writing. I’ll be back shortly.”
Whin she was gone, Mr. John pulled up a chare and sat forward looking at
the widder who opened her fan agin and was looking at the pichure on it.
“Mr. Wolley” ses she suddintly, “I’m afrade I’ve offinded your sister.
Oh deer” ses she, “I do want to interfeer in the affares of this foolish
and impracticul family. I’m shure” ses she, “If I only had the
opporchunity I cud make both Claire and your brother Jimmy see the errow
of their ways. Take Jimmy for instunse. He’s like a prickly porkypine
lately, riddy to scrach wun if wun dares to aven look at him. Look at
the state of his lons. Why the grarss is a mile hy and the weeds have
all cum up in the carrage drives. Why I cud tell him in a minit how to
rid the drives of weeds. Salt—salt’s the thing! Jest spred it on the
drives. It’ll kill the weeds at wunse. But ah deer me” ses she sighing
hevily, “I’ve not the rite to advise Jimmy or cunsole Claire.”
“And why have you not?” ses Mr. John camly, tho I seen him move his
fingers about in the nerviss way he has.
“Why have I not the rite?” repeets the widder, opening her eyes
innersintly. “Becos I’m not wan of the family” ses she.
Mr. John got up, tuk a cupple of nerviss walks acros the room, and thin
soodintly wint back to the widder. He set himsilf doon on the arm of her
chare leaned over her. She did’nt boodge an inch, tho I seen her get red
oonder the look he guv her.
“Jane” ses he, “_be_ wan of the family.”
“Good grashis!” ses she, leaning back so her neck nachully fitted in the
coorve of his arm, “are you _proposing_ to me, Mr. Wolley?” ses she.
“Yes Jane” ses he, “I’m orfully in love wid you.”
Wid that she tilted back her hed, guv him a long look, then delibritly
orferred him her lips.
“Hilp yersilf John” ses she, “I’m yours.”
She’s larfing while she speaks, but she’s crying a bit jest like ivery
other woman whin he’s doon wid her.
Mr. John who is a fare sized gintleman slipped down from the arm of the
chare to the seet beside her. The widder is pretty ploomp hersilf and
they squeezed up closely thegither, leaning aginst aich other and
spooning like yung fokes, he being thirty if he’s a day and she a
widder.
“Now that I’ve got the rite to interfeer” ses she after a moment, “I’m
going to do it wid a vinginse. Hold on a bit” ses she, pooshing him aff
from her, “Now lissin to sense, John Wolley. Go upstares and tell Claire
I want to spake to her.”
“Spake to her to-morrow” ses he.
“No” ses she, shaking her hed desidedly, “John” ses she, “you an I have
a whole life yet to spind thegither. I can spare you for a little wile.
I came to-day upon a partikuler errant. I had sumthing to say to Claire,
but first it was necissery for me to have the rite to say it. The
proposul and—ah—acciptunse was a meer dyagrisshun, and wile I confiss to
a shameliss weekniss for your shtyle of wooing darlint, yit I’m not to
be swurved from the objick of me misshun. There! Go and get Claire, and
whin I’m throo wid her cum back” ses she.
Finally, wid more airging, she injooced the puir lover to go after his
sister, and whin he’s brot Miss Claire back, she waves her hands airily
and ses:
“Begone! I want to spake to your sister aloan.”
Whin they were aloan she farely beemed upon Miss Claire, and then:
“And now to resoom deer” ses she “I was about to say sumthing to you
whin your brother interripted.”
“Mrs. Bangs” ses Miss Claire, wid agytashun, “_plase_ don’t—don’t talk
to me aboot——”
“Harry?” ses the widder, wid her eyes raysed up. “Why me deer” ses she,
“who has a better rite to talk to you about your luvver than yure sister
deer” ses she swately.
“My——” began Miss Claire, and stared at her wid round eyes. Suddintly,
she saised hauld of the widder’s hand and ses she wid excitement:
“You don’t mean——”
The widder nodded, the teers cuming into her eyes.
“But—but he’s a confirmed old bacheller” ses Miss Claire.
“Is he?” ses the widder. “Well all good things cum to an end. However
John and I are beside the quiston. I merely told you as an excuse for
seeming to pry into you sacred affares. Give me a kiss now and poar out
your hart and sole into me sympythetic eers.”
Then they kissed and the widder pushed Miss Claire into a chare, and set
down hersilf. Befure the girl can spake she ses hersilf crossly:
“Now will you tell me why you were such a little goose as to let Harry
Dudley slip throo your fingers? My deer” ses she interrupting Miss
Claire as she started in to spake. “The boy was mad—clane daft about
you. Now ansser me this you notty girl, why didnt you take him?”
“I did—that is——” began Miss Claire, whin the widder grabbed her hand
and looked at the ring.
“Aha!” ses she “cort you thin, did’nt I? Now” ses she “whare were your
sinses under the sarcumstunses whin you let him go away at wanse—and of
all things in the warld wid Una Robbins.”
“_Wid_ her!” ses Miss Claire.
“Yes” “It was an artful move of old S. Judd and her father. My dear, Una
is the most rickluss flurt this side of heven. Why its only 3 yeers ago
she was ingaged to Harry. They luvved for a moonth and broak the
ingagemint a day later. Don’t look so hurt. They werent achully in
love—jest playing. Now Una has had her own way with men ivver sinse she
wore long drisses. Thin the Wolley family moved out to the Poynt. There
was a sartin rood and surly mimber of this crazy family wid a
constitooshinul dislike for magnuts and there dorters. Miss Una chose to
be intrusted in him, of all men. To her surprise her advanses were
rebuffed. She achully disinded to pursooing him, as you no, and finully
in despurashun—as I larned from her own lips—she sank so low as to
insinnyvate to the loonytick that she _luved_ him!”
“O” ses Miss Claire, “You meen our Jimmy.”
“The terrible Jimmy!” ses the widder, nodding.
“She _told_ him——”
“As good as told him.”
“And he——?”
“He! Ye gods in hiven” ses the widdy throwing up her hands, “he cuvvered
up his eers wid his fingys, guv a look of commingled horrow and dispare,
and _ran away from her_. The follering nite” wint on the widder, “Mr. S.
Judd Dudley called to see her papa, and the marning after that Miss Una
was packed bag and baggage off to Yurope. Now lissen to me words of
wisdom and expeerinse. If those 2 sore yung indivijools don’t cum to sum
sintimintul oonderstanding on this voyage out to Yurope thin my name is
not Jane Bangs and will niver be Jane Wolley.”
Miss Claire sed never a word, but she looked at the widder beseechingly.
“To begin wid” ses the widder, “Its all your brother John’s folt. If
he’d proposed to me a month ago I cud have ingineered the hole affare
happily for this family. As it is now” ses she, “ye’ve acted like a
little fool, and Harry like a big wan. Sakes alive!” ses she, “why didnt
you _make_ him stay at home? You had him at the sycological moment” ses
she. “Do you suppose I’d have let John Wolley sale away at sooch a time?
Not by a long chot. Una is sore—broosed—hartsick—hurt clane throo and
throo. She’s desprut. A girl in that condishun has but one
resoarce—matrimunney—wid anuther fellow. Now Harry.”
“Oh” ses Miss Claire, “please Mrs. Bangs don’t say annything to me about
him. I _know_ he loves me oanly.”
She cuvvered her face wid her hands convoolsively, and me shtopping in
me wark in the dining-room lissening by the dure, and reddy to bat the
interfeering widder on the hed wid me dooster.
“Now me deer” ses the widder, “you must counteract at wanse the evil of
this long oshun voyuge. You must follow the pair at wanse to Yurope.”
“I? O Mrs. Bangs, indade we arent rich people. We cudden’t afford it”
ses Miss Claire, “and besides, Jimmy may cross in the fall. He’s been
offered the London corryspundint post for the Planut.”
“He’d better accipt at wanse” ses the widder promply “as for you——”
Just thin in walked Mr. John and brort an ind to the paneful interfoo.
The widder found hersilf aloan wid the sintimintul gintleman looking at
her tinderly. Her own face is poockered oop wod exaspenashun.
“John Wolley!” ses she, “I feel like shaking you.”
“What have I dun, Jane?” ses he reproatchfully.
“Why dident you propose to me a month ago?” ses she crossly.
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