“I could marry Shoesmith,” she said abruptly.
“But--” I objected.
“He knows. It wasn't fair. I told him.”
“Oh, that explains,” I said. “There's been a kind of sulkiness--But--you
told him?”
She nodded. “He's rather badly hurt,” she said. “He's been a good
friend to me. He's curiously loyal. But something, something he said one
day--forced me to let him know.... That's been the beastliness of all
this secrecy. That's the beastliness of all secrecy. You have to spring
surprises on people. But he keeps on. He's steadfast. He'd already
suspected. He wants me very badly to marry him....”
“But you don't want to marry him?”
“I'm forced to think of it.”
“But does he want to marry you at that? Take you as a present from the
world at large?--against your will and desire?... I don't understand
him.”
“He cares for me.”
“How?”
“He thinks this is a fearful mess for me. He wants to pull it straight.”
We sat for a time in silence, with imaginations that obstinately refused
to take up the realities of this proposition.
“I don't want you to marry Shoesmith,” I said at last.
“Don't you like him?”
“Not as your husband.”
“He's a very clever and sturdy person--and very generous and devoted to
me.”
“And me?”
“You can't expect that. He thinks you are wonderful--and, naturally,
that you ought not to have started this.”
“I've a curious dislike to any one thinking that but myself. I'm quite
ready to think it myself.”
“He'd let us be friends--and meet.”
“Let us be friends!” I cried, after a long pause. “You and me!”
“He wants me to be engaged soon. Then, he says, he can go round fighting
these rumours, defending us both--and force a quarrel on the Baileys.”
“I don't understand him,” I said, and added, “I don't understand you.”