CHAPTER XVIII.

The first break in the unity of the Fullerton family had occurred on the

occasion of Hadria's marriage. The short period that elapsed between

that memorable New-Year's-Eve and the wedding had been a painful

experience for Dunaghee. Hadria's conduct had shaken her brothers' faith

in her and in all womankind. Ernest especially had suffered disillusion.

He had supposed her above the ordinary, pettier weaknesses of humanity.

Other fellows' sisters had seemed to him miserable travesties of their

sex compared with her. (There was one exception only, to this rule.) But

now, what was he to think? She had shattered his faith. If she hadn't

been "so cocksure of herself," he wouldn't have minded so much; but

after all she had professed, to go and marry, and marry a starched

specimen like that!

Fred was equally emphatic. For a long time he had regarded it all as a

joke. He shook his head knowingly, and said that sort of thing wouldn't

go down. When he was at length convinced, he danced with rage. He became

cynical. He had no patience with girls. They talked for talking's sake.

It meant nothing.

Algitha understood, better than her brothers could understand, how

Hadria's emotional nature had been caught in some strange mood, how the

eloquent assurances of her lover might have half convinced her.

Algitha's own experience of proposals set her on the track of the

mystery.

"It is most misleading," she pointed out, to her scoffing brothers. "One

would suppose that marrying was the simplest thing in the world--nothing

perilous, nothing to object to about it. A man proposes to you as if he

were asking you for the sixth waltz, only his manner is perfervid. And

my belief is that half the girls who accept don't realize that they are

agreeing to anything much more serious."

"The more fools they!"

"True; but it really is most bewildering. Claims, obligations, all the

ugly sides of the affair are hidden away; the man is at his best, full

of refinement and courtesy and unselfishness. And if he persuades the

girl that he really does care for her, how can she suppose that she

cannot trust her future to him--if he loves her? And yet she can't!"

"How can a man suppose that one girl is going to be different from every

other girl?" asked Fred.

"Different, you mean, from what he _supposes_ every other girl to be,"

Algitha corrected. "It's his own look-out if he's such a fool."

"I believe Hadria married because she was sick of being the family

consolation," said Ernest.

"Well, of course, the hope of escape was very tempting. You boys don't

know what she went through. We all regret her marriage to Hubert

Temperley--though between ourselves, not more than _he_ regrets it, if I

am not much mistaken--but it is very certain that she could not have

gone on living at home much longer, as things were."

Fred said that she ought to have broken out after Algitha's fashion, if

it was so bad as all that.

"I think mother would have died if she had," said the sister.

"Hadria _was_ awkwardly placed," Fred admitted.

"Do you remember that evening in the garret when we all told her what we

thought?" asked Ernest.

Nobody had forgotten that painful occasion.

"She said then that if the worst came to the worst, she would simply run

away. What could prevent her?"

"That wretched sister of his!" cried Algitha. "If it hadn't been for

her, the marriage would never have taken place. She got the ear of

mother after the engagement, and I am certain it was through her

influence that mother hurried the wedding on so. If only there had been

a little more time, it could have been prevented. And Henriette knew

that. She is as _knowing_----!"

"I wish we had strangled her."

"I shall never forget," Algitha went on, "that night when Hadria was

taken with a fit of terror--it was nothing less--and wrote to break off

the engagement, and that woman undertook to deliver the letter and lost

it, _on purpose_ I am always convinced, and then the favourable moment

was over."

"What made her so anxious for the marriage beats me," cried Ernest. "It

was not a particularly good match from a mercenary point of view."

"She thought us an interesting family to marry into," suggested Fred,

"which is undeniable."

"Then she must be greatly disappointed at seeing so little of us!" cried

Ernest.

In the early days, Miss Temperley had stayed frequently at the Red

House, and Hadria had been cut off from her own family, who detested

Henriette.

For a year or more, there had been a fair promise of a successful

adjustment of the two incongruous natures in the new conditions. They

both tried to keep off dangerous ground and to avoid collisions of will.

They made the most of their one common interest, although even here they

soon found themselves out of sympathy. Hubert's instincts were

scholastic and lawful, Hadria was disposed to daring innovation. Her

bizarre compositions shocked him painfully. The two jarred on one

another, in great things and in small. The halcyon period was

short-lived. The dream, such as it was, came to an end. Hubert turned

to his sister, in his bewilderment and disappointment. They had both

counted so securely on the effect of experience and the pressure of

events to teach Hadria the desirable lesson, and they were dismayed to

find that, unlike other women, she had failed to learn it. Henriette was

in despair. It was she who had brought about the ill-starred union. How

could she ever forgive herself? How repair the error she had made? Only

by devoting herself to her brother, and trying patiently to bring his

wife to a wiser frame of mind.

A considerable time had elapsed, during which Hadria saw her brothers

and sister only at long intervals. Ernest had become estranged from her,

to her great grief. He was as courteous and tender in his manner to her

as of yore, but there was a change, not to be mistaken. She had lost the

brother of her girlhood for ever. While it bitterly grieved, it did not

surprise her. She acknowledged in dismay the inconsistency of her

conduct. She must have been mad! The universal similarity in the

behaviour of girls, herself included, alarmed her. Was there some

external will that drove them all, in hordes, to their fate? Were all

the intricacies of event and circumstance, of their very emotion, merely

the workings of that ruthless cosmic will by which the individual was

hypnotised and ruled?

As usual at critical moments, Hadria had been solitary in her encounter

with the elements of Fate. There were conflicts that even her sister

knew nothing about, the bewilderments and temptations of a nature

hampered in its action by its own voluminous qualities and its caprice.

Her brothers supposed that in a short time Hadria would be "wearing

bonnets and a card-case, and going the rounds with an elegant expression

like the rest of them."

How different were the little local facts of life--the little chopped-up

life that accumulates in odds and ends from moment to moment--from the

sun-and-smoke vision of early irresponsible days!

Mrs. Fullerton was pleased with the marriage, not merely because

Hubert's father, Judge Temperley, could secure for his son a prosperous

career, but because she was so thankful to see a strange, unaccountable

girl like Hadria settling quietly down, with a couple of children to

keep her out of mischief.

That was what it had come to! Perhaps they calculated a little too

surely. Possibly even two children might not keep her entirely out of

mischief. Out of what impulse of malice had Fate pitched upon the most

essentially mutinous and erratic of the whole brood, for the sedatest

_rôle_? But perhaps Fate, too, had calculated unscientifically. Mischief

was always possible, if one gave one's mind to it. Or was she growing

too old to have the spirit for thorough-going devilry? Youth seemed

rather an affair of mental outlook than of years. She felt twenty years

older since her marriage. She wondered why it was that marriage did not

make all women wicked,--openly and actively so. If ever there was an

arrangement by which every evil instinct and every spark of the devil

was likely to be aroused and infuriated, surely the customs and

traditions that clustered round this estate constituted that dangerous

combination! Hardship, difficulty, tragedy could be faced, but not the

humiliating, the degrading, the contemptible. Hadria had her own

particular ideas as to what ought to be set down under these headings.

Most women, she found, ranked certain elements very differently, with

lavish use of halos and gilding in their honour, feeling perhaps, she

hinted, the dire need of such external decoration.

Good heavens! Did no other woman realize the insult of it all? Hadria

knew so few women intimately; none intimately enough to be convinced

that no such revolt lay smouldering beneath their smiles. She had a

lonely assurance that she had never met the sister-soul (for such there

must be by the score, as silent as she), who shared her rage and her

detestations. Valeria, with all her native pride, regarded these as

proof of a big flaw in an otherwise sound nature. Yet how deep, how

passionately strong, these feelings were, how gigantic the flaw!

What possessed people that they did not see what was so brutally clear?

As young girls led forth unconscious into the battle, with a bandage

over their eyes, and cotton-wool in their ears--yes, then it was

inevitable that they should see and hear nothing. Had they been newly

imported from the moon they could scarcely have less acquaintance with

terrestrial conditions; but afterwards, when ruthlessly, with the

grinning assistance of the onlookers, the facts of the social scheme

were cynically revealed, and the _rôle_ imperiously allotted--with much

admonition and moving appeals to conscience and religion, and all the

other aides-de-camp at command--after all that, how in the name of

heaven could they continue to "babble of green fields"? Was it

conceivable that among the thousands of women to whom year after year

the facts were disclosed, not one understood and not one--_hated_?

A flame sprang up in Hadria's eyes. There _must_ be other women

somewhere at this very moment, whose whole being was burning up with

this bitter, this sickening and futile hatred! But how few, how few! How

vast was the meek majority, fattening on indignity, proud of their

humiliation! Yet how wise they were after all. It hurt so to hate--to

hate like this. Submission was an affair of temperament, a gift of

birth. Nature endowed with a serviceable meekness those whom she

designed for insult. Yet it might not be meekness so much as mere brutal

necessity that held them all in thrall--the inexorable logic of

conditions. Fate knew better than to assail the victim point blank, and

so put her on her guard. No; she lured her on gently, cunningly, closing

behind her, one by one, the doors of escape, persuading her, forcing her

to fasten on her own tethers, appealing to a thousand qualities, good

and bad; now to a moment's weakness or pity, now to her eternal fear of

grieving others (_that_ was a well-worked vein!), now to her instinct of

self-sacrifice, now to grim necessity itself, profiting too by the

increasing discouragements, the vain efforts, the physical pain and

horrible weariness, the crowding of little difficulties, harassments,

the troubles of others--ah! how infinite were these! so that there was

no interval for breathing, and scarcely time or space to cope with the

legions of the moment; the horizon was black with their advancing hosts!

And this assuredly was no unique experience. Hadria remembered how she

had once said that if the worst came to the worst, it would be easy to

run away. To her inexperience desperate remedies had seemed so simple,

so feasible--the factors of life so few and unentwined. She had not

understood how prolific are our deeds, how an act brings with it a large

and unexpected progeny, which surround us with new influences and force

upon us unforeseen conditions. Yet frequent had been the impulse to

adopt that girlish solution of the difficulty. She had no picturesque

grievances of the kind that would excite sympathy. On the contrary,

popular feeling would set dead against her; she would be acting on an

idea that nobody shared, not even her most intimate friend.

Miss Du Prel had arrived at the conclusion that she did not understand

Hadria. She had attributed many of her peculiarities to her unique

education and her inexperience. Hadria had indeed changed greatly since

her marriage, but not in the manner that might have been expected. On

the contrary, a closer intimacy with popular social ideals had fired her

with a more angry spirit of rebellion. Miss Du Prel had met examples of

every kind of eccentricity, but she had never before come upon so marked

an instance of this particular type. Hadria's attitude towards life had

suggested to Miss Du Prel the idea of her heroine, _Caterina_. She

remonstrated with Hadria, assuring her that no insult towards women was

intended in the general scheme of society, and that it was a mistake to

regard it in so resentful a spirit.

"But that is just the most insulting thing about it," Hadria exclaimed.

"Insult is so much a matter of course that people are surprised if one

takes umbrage at it. Read this passage from Aristotle that I came upon

the other day. He is perfectly calm and amiable, entirely unconscious of

offence, when he says that 'a wife ought to shew herself even more

obedient to the rein than if she entered the house as a purchased slave.

For she has been bought at a high price, for the sake of sharing life

and bearing children, than which no higher or holier tie can possibly

exist.' (Henriette to the very life!)"

Miss Du Prel laughed, and re-read the passage from the _Politics_, in

some surprise.

"Do you suppose insult is deliberately intended in that graceful

sentiment?" asked Hadria. "Obviously not. If any woman of that time had

blazed up in anger at the well-meant speech, she would have astonished

and grieved her contemporaries. Aristotle doubtless professed a high

respect for women who followed his precepts--as men do now when we are

obedient."

"Of course, our society in this particular has not wandered far from the

Greek idea," Miss Du Prel observed pensively.

Hadria pronounced the paradox, "The sharpness of the insult lies in its

not being intended."

Miss Du Prel could not prevail upon her to modify the assertion. Hadria

pointed out that the Greeks also meant no offence in regarding their

respectable women as simple reproductive agents of inferior human

quality.

"And though our well-brought-up girls shrink from the frank speech, they

do not appear to shrink from the ideas of the old Greeks. They don't

mind playing the part of cows so long as one doesn't mention it."

About eighteen months ago, the village had been full of talk and

excitement in consequence of the birth of an heir to the house of

Engleton, Lady Engleton's mission in life being frankly regarded as

unfulfilled during the previous three or four years, when she had

disappointed the hopes of the family. Hadria listened scornfully. In her

eyes, the crowning indignity of the whole affair was Lady Engleton's own

smiling acceptance of the position, and her complacent eagerness to

produce the tardy inheritor of the property and honours. This expression

of sentiment had, by some means, reached the Vicarage and created much

consternation.

Mrs. Walker asserted that it was right and Christian of the lady to

desire that which gave every one so much pleasure. "A climax of feminine

abjectness!" Hadria had exclaimed in Henriette's presence.

Miss Temperley, after endeavouring to goad her sister-in-law into the

expression of jubilant congratulations, was met by the passionate

declaration that she felt more disposed to weep than to rejoice, and

more disposed to curse than to weep.

Obviously, Miss Temperley had reason to be uneasy about her part in

bringing about her brother's marriage.

These sudden overflows of exasperated feeling had become less frequent

as time went on, but the neighbours looked askance at Mrs. Temperley.

Though a powder-magazine may not always blow up, one passes it with a

grave consciousness of vast stores of inflammable material lying

somewhere within, and who knows what spark might set the thing spouting

to the skies?

When the occasional visitors had left, life in the village settled down

to its normal level, or more accurately, to its normal flatness as

regarded general contours, and its petty inequalities in respect to

local detail. It reminded Hadria of the landscape which stretched in

quiet long lines to the low horizon, while close at hand, the ground

fussed and fretted itself into minor ups and downs of no character, but

with all the trouble of a mountain district in its complexities of slope

and hollow. Hadria suffered from a gnawing home-sickness; a longing for

the rougher, bleaker scenery of the North.

The tired spirit translated the homely English country, so deeply

reposeful in its spirit, into an image of dull unrest. If only those

broken, stupid lines could have been smoothed out into the grandeur of a

plain, Hadria thought that it would have comforted her, as if a song had

moved across it with the long-stretching winds. As it was, to look from

her window only meant to find repeated the trivialities of life, more

picturesque indeed, but still trivialities. It was the estimable and

domestic qualities of Nature that presented themselves: Nature in her

most maternal and uninspired mood--Mother earth submissive to the

dictatorship of man, permitting herself to be torn, and wounded, and

furrowed, and harrowed at his pleasure, yielding her substance and her

life to sustain the produce of his choosing, her body and her soul

abandoned supine to his caprice. The sight had an exasperating effect

upon Hadria. Its symbolism haunted her. The calm, sweet English

landscape affected her at times with a sort of disgust. It was, perhaps,

the same in kind as the far stronger sensation of disgust that she felt

when she first saw Lady Engleton with her new-born child, full of pride

and exultation. It was as much as she could do to shake hands with the

happy mother.

When Valeria expressed dismay at so strange a feeling Hadria had refused

to be treated as a solitary sinner. There were plenty of

fellow-culprits, she said, only they did not dare to speak out. Let

Valeria study girls and judge for herself.

Hadria was challenged to name a girl.

Well, Algitha for one. Hadria also suspected Marion Jordan, well-drilled

though she was by her dragoon of a mother.

Valeria would not hear of it. Marion Jordan! the gentlest, timidest,

most typical of young English girls! Impossible!

"I am almost sure of it, nevertheless," said Hadria. "Oh, believe me, it

is common enough! Few grasp it intellectually perhaps, but thousands

feel the insult; of that I am morally certain."

"What leads you to think so in Marion's case?"

"Some look, or tone, or word; something slight, but to my mind

conclusive. Fellow-sinners detect one another, you know."

"Well, I don't understand what the world is coming to!" exclaimed Miss

Du Prel. "Where are the natural instincts?"

"Sprouting up for the first time perhaps," Hadria suggested.

"They seem to be disappearing, if what you say has the slightest

foundation."

"Oh, you are speaking of only _one_ kind of instinct. The others have

all been suppressed. Perhaps women are not altogether animals after all.

The thought is startling, I know. Try to face it."

"I never supposed they were," cried Valeria, a little annoyed.

"But you never made allowance for the suppressed instincts," said

Hadria.

"I don't believe they _can_ be suppressed."

"I believe they can be not merely suppressed, but killed past hope of

recovery. And I also believe that there may be, that there _must_ be,

ideas and emotions fermenting in people's brains, quite different from

those that they are supposed and ordered to cherish, and that these

heresies go on working in secret for years before they become even

suspected, and then suddenly the population exchange confessions."

"After that the Deluge!" exclaimed Miss Du Prel. "You describe the

features of a great revolution."

"So much the better," said Hadria; "and when the waters sink again, a

nice fresh clean world!"

The Daughters of Danaus · 第 4 / 20 章