"Once," he said, "I ketched pelts fur them sharps at Hudson Bay, like
any yaller husky, but the things I seen arter that convulsion-fit--the
_things I seen behind the Hudson Mountings_--don't make me hanker
arter no life on the pe-rarie wild, lemme tell yer. I may be a Mother
Carey chicken, but this chicken has got enough."
After a long silence I picked up his book again and pointed at the
picture of the mammoth.
"What color is it?" I asked.
"Kinder red an' brown," he answered, promptly. "It's woolly, too."
Astounded, I pointed to the dingue.
"One-toed," he said, quickly; "makes a noise like a bell when
scutterin' about."
Intensely excited, I laid my hand on his arm. "My society will give
you a thousand dollars," I said, "if you pilot me inside the Hudson
table-land and show me either a mammoth or a dingue!"
He looked me calmly in the eye.
"Mister," he said, slowly, "have you got a million for to squander on
me?"
"No," I said, suspiciously.
"Because," he went on, "it wouldn't be enough. Home an' mother suits
me now."
He picked up his book and rose. In vain I asked his name and address;
in vain I begged him to dine with me--to become my honored guest.
"Nit," he said, shortly, and shambled off down the path.
But I was not going to lose him like that. I rose and deliberately
started to stalk him. It was easy. He shuffled along, pulling on his
pipe, and I after him.
It was growing a little dark, although the sun still reddened the tops
of the maples. Afraid of losing him in the falling dusk, I once more
approached him and laid my hand upon his ragged sleeve.
"Look here," he cried, wheeling about, "I want you to quit follerin'
me. Don't I tell you money can't make me go back to them mountings!"
And as I attempted to speak, he suddenly tore off his cap and pointed
to his head. His hair was white as snow.
"That's what come of monkeyin' inter your cursed mountings," he
shouted, fiercely. "There's things in there what no Christian oughter
see. Lemme alone er I'll bust yer."
He shambled on, doubled fists swinging by his side. The next moment,
setting my teeth obstinately, I followed him and caught him by the
park gate. At my hail he whirled around with a snarl, but I grabbed
him by the throat and backed him violently against the park wall.
"You invaluable ruffian," I said, "now you listen to me. I live in
that big stone building, and I'll give you a thousand dollars to take
me behind the Graham Glacier. Think it over and call on me when you
are in a pleasanter frame of mind. If you don't come by noon to-morrow
I'll go to the Graham Glacier without you."
He was attempting to kick me all the time, but I managed to avoid him,
and when I had finished I gave him a shove which almost loosened his
spinal column. He went reeling out across the sidewalk, and when he
had recovered his breath and his balance he danced with displeasure
and displayed a vocabulary that astonished me. However, he kept his
distance.
As I turned back into the park, satisfied that he would not follow,
the first person I saw was the elderly, stony-faced lady of the
wistaria arbor advancing on tiptoe. Behind her came the younger lady
with cheeks like a rose that had been rained on.
Instantly it occurred to me that they had followed us, and at the same
moment I knew who the stony-faced lady was. Angry, but polite, I
lifted my hat and saluted her, and she, probably furious at having
been caught tip-toeing after me, cut me dead. The younger lady passed
me with face averted, but even in the dusk I could see the tip of one
little ear turn scarlet.
Walking on hurriedly, I entered the Administration Building, and found
Professor Lesard, of the reptilian department, preparing to leave.
"Don't you do it," I said, sharply; "I've got exciting news."
"I'm only going to the theatre," he replied. "It's a good show--Adam
and Eve; there's a snake in it, you know. It's in my line."
"I can't help it," I said; and I told him briefly what had occurred in
the arbor.
"But that's not all," I continued, savagely. "Those women followed us,
and who do you think one of them turned out to be? Well, it was
Professor Smawl, of Barnard College, and I'll bet every pair of boots
I own that she starts for the Graham Glacier within a week. Idiot that
I was!" I exclaimed, smiting my head with both hands. "I never
recognized her until I saw her tip-toeing and craning her neck to
listen. Now she knows about the glacier; she heard every word that
young ruffian said, and she'll go to the glacier if it's only to
forestall me."
Professor Lesard looked anxious. He knew that Miss Smawl, professor of
natural history at Barnard College, had long desired an appointment
at the Bronx Park gardens. It was even said she had a chance of
succeeding Professor Farrago as president, but that, of course, must
have been a joke. However, she haunted the gardens, annoying the
keepers by persistently poking the animals with her umbrella. On one
occasion she sent us word that she desired to enter the tigers'
enclosure for the purpose of making experiments in hypnotism.
Professor Farrago was absent, but I took it upon myself to send back
word that I feared the tigers might injure her. The miserable small
boy who took my message informed her that I was afraid she might
injure the tigers, and the unpleasant incident almost cost me my
position.
"I am quite convinced," said I to Professor Lesard, "that Miss Smawl
is perfectly capable of abusing the information she overheard, and of
starting herself to explore a region that, by all the laws of decency,
justice, and prior claim, belongs to me."
"Well," said Lesard, with a peculiar laugh, "it's not certain whether
you can go at all."
"Professor Farrago will authorize me," I said, confidently.
"Professor Farrago has resigned," said Lesard. It was a bolt from a
clear sky.
"Good Heavens!" I blurted out. "What will become of the rest of us,
then?"
"I don't know," he replied. "The trustees are holding a meeting over
in the Administration Building to elect a new president for us. It
depends on the new president what becomes of us."
"Lesard," I said, hoarsely, "you don't suppose that they could
possibly elect Miss Smawl as our president, do you?"
He looked at me askance and bit his cigar.
"I'd be in a nice position, wouldn't I?" said I, anxiously.
"The lady would probably make you walk the plank for that tiger
business," he replied.
"But I didn't do it," I protested, with sickly eagerness. "Besides, I
explained to her--"
He said nothing, and I stared at him, appalled by the possibility of
reporting to Professor Smawl for instructions next morning.
"See here, Lesard," I said, nervously, "I wish you would step over to
the Administration Building and ask the trustees if I may prepare for
this expedition. Will you?"
He glanced at me sympathetically. It was quite natural for me to wish
to secure my position before the new president was elected--especially
as there was a chance of the new president being Miss Smawl.
"You are quite right," he said; "the Graham Glacier would be the
safest place for you if our next president is to be the Lady of the
Tigers." And he started across the park puffing his cigar.
I sat down on the doorstep to wait for his return, not at all charmed
with the prospect. It made me furious, too, to see my ambition nipped
with the frost of a possible veto from Miss Smawl.
"If she is elected," thought I, "there is nothing for me but to
resign--to avoid the inconvenience of being shown the door. Oh, I wish
I had allowed her to hypnotize the tigers!"
Thoughts of crime flitted through my mind. Miss Smawl would not remain
president--or anything else very long--if she persisted in her desire
for the tigers. And then when she called for help I would pretend not
to hear.
Aroused from criminal meditation by the return of Professor Lesard, I
jumped up and peered into his perplexed eyes. "They've elected a
president," he said, "but they won't tell us who the president is
until to-morrow."
"You don't think--" I stammered.
"I don't know. But I know this: the new president sanctions the
expedition to the Graham Glacier, and directs you to choose an
assistant and begin preparations for four people."
Overjoyed, I seized his hand and said, "Hurray!" in a voice weak with
emotion. "The old dragon isn't elected this time," I added,
triumphantly.
"By-the-way," he said, "who was the other dragon with her in the park
this evening?"