REPORTING BLANK ON RUPERT
And yet, I've had people ask me if this private sec. job didn't get
sort of monotonous! Does it? Say, listen a while!
I was breezin' through the arcade here the other noon, about twenty
minutes behind my lunch schedule, when someone backs away from the
marble wall tablets the agents have erected in honor of them firms that
keep their rent paid. Some perfect stranger it is, who does the
reverse goose step so unexpected that there's no duckin' a collision.
Quite a substantial party he is, too, and where my nose connects with
his shoulder he's built about as solid as a concrete pillar.
"Say," I remarks, when the aurora borealis has faded out and I can see
straight again, "if you're goin' to carom around that way in public,
you ought to wear pads."
"Oh, I'm sorry," says he. "I didn't mean to be so awkward. Hope
you're not hurt, sir."
Then I did do some gawpin'. For who'd ever expect a big,
rough-finished husk like that, would have such a soft, ladylike voice
concealed about him? And the "sir" was real soothin'.
"It's all right," says I. "Guess I ain't disabled for life. Next
time, though, I'll be particular to walk around."
"But really," he goes on, "I--I'm not here regularly. I was just
trying to find a name--a Mr. Robert Ellins."
"Eh?" says I. "Lookin' for Mr. Robert, are you?"
"Then you know him?" he asks eager.
"Ought to," says I. "He's my boss. Corrugated Trust is what you
should have looked under."
"Ah, yes; I remember now," says he. "Corrugated Trust--that's the part
I'd forgotten. Then perhaps you can tell me just where--"
"I could," says I, "but it wouldn't do you a bit of good. He's got
appointments up to 1:15. After that he'll be taking two hours off for
luncheon--if he comes back at all. Better make a date for to-morrow or
next day."
The solid gent looks disappointed.
"I had hoped I might find him to-day," says he. "It--it's rather
important."
At which I sizes him up a little closer. Sort of a carrot blond, this
gent is, with close-cropped pale red hair, about the ruddiest neck you
ever saw off a turkey gobbler, and a face that's so freckled it looks
crowded. The double-breasted blue serge coat and the blue flannel
shirt with the black sailor tie gives me a hunch, though. Maybe he's
one of Mr. Robert's yacht captains.
"What name?" says I.
"Killam," says he. "Rupert Killam."
"Sounds bloodthirsty," says I. "Cap'n, eh?"
"Why--er--yes," says he. "That is what I am usually called."
"I see," says I. "Used to sail his 60-footer, did you?"
No, that wasn't quite the idea, either. That's somewhere near his
line, though, and he wants to see Mr. Robert very particular.
"I think I may assure you," the Captain goes on, "that it will be to
his advantage."
"In that case," says I, "you'd better tell it to me; private sec., you
know. And if you make a date that's what you'll have to do, anyway.
Suppose you come along and feed with me. Then you can shoot the
details durin' lunch and we'll save time. Oh, I'll charge it up to the
firm, never fear."
The Cap. don't seem anxious to have his information strained through a
third party that way, but I finally convinces him it's the regular
course for gettin' a hearing so he trails along to the chophouse. And,
in spite of his flannel shirt, Rupert seems well table broken. He
don't do the bib act with his napkin, or try any sword-swallowin' stunt.
"Now, what's it all about?" says I, as we gets to the pastry and
demitasse.
"Well," says Killam, after glancin' around sleuthy and seein' nobody
more suspicious than a yawnin' 'bus boy, "I have found the lost
treasure of José Caspar."
"Have you?" says I, through a mouthful of strawb'ry shortcake. "When
did he lose it?"
"Haven't you ever read," says he, "of Gasparilla?"
"Is it a new drink, or what?" says I.
"No, no," says he. "Gasparilla, the great pirate, once the terror of
the Spanish Main. Surely you must have read about him."
"Nope," says I. "That Nick Carter junk never got to me very strong."
The Cap. stares at me sort of surprised and pained.
"But this isn't a dime-novel story I am telling," he protests. "José
Caspar was a real person--just as real as George Washington or John
Paul Jones. He was a genuine pirate, too, and the fact that he had his
headquarters on the west coast of Florida is well established. It's
history. And it is also true that he buried much of his stolen
treasure--gold and jewelry and precious stones--on some one of those
thousands of sandy keys which line the Gulf coast from Anclote Light to
White Water Bay. For nearly two hundred years men have hunted for that
treasure. Why even the United States Government once sent out an
expedition to find it. But I, Rupert Killam, have at last discovered
the true hiding place of that secret hoard."
Can you beat that for a batty conversation to be handed across the
table, right on Broadway at high noon? But say, take it from me, this
Rupert party is some convincin' spieler. With that low, smooth voice
of his, and them buttermilk blue eyes fixed steady and earnest on mine,
I was all but under the spell for a minute or so there. Then I shakes
myself and gets back to normal.
"Say," says I, "you ain't lookin' to put any such fancy tale as that
over on Mr. Robert, are you?"
"I hope I can interest him in the enterprise," says Killam.
"Well, take my advice and don't waste your time," says I. "He's a good
deal of a sport and all that, but I don't think he'd fall for anything
so musty as this old doubloon and pieces-of-eight dope."
"I have proofs," says Rupert, "absolute proofs."
"Got the regulation old chart, eh," says I, "with the lone tree marked
by a dagger?"
No, he didn't have a chart. He went on to say how the treasure was
buried on a certain little island under a mound in the middle of a
mangrove swamp. He'd been there. He'd actually helped dig into one
corner of the mound. He had four pieces of jewelry that he'd taken out
himself; and nobody knew how many chests full was left.
"Back up!" says I. "Why didn't you go on diggin'?"
But he's right there with a perfectly good alibi. Seems, if he dug up
anything valuable and got caught at it, he'd have to whack up a
percentage with the owner of the land. Also, the government would
holler for a share. So his plan is to keep mum, buy up the island,
then charter a big yacht and cruise down there casually, disguised as a
tourist. Once at the island, he could let on to break a propeller
shaft or something, and sneak ashore after the gold and stuff at night
when the crew was asleep.
The Cap. explains that to do it right would take more cash than he
could raise. Hence his proposition for lettin' in Mr. Robert to
finance the expedition. No, he didn't know Mr. Robert personally, but
he'd heard a lot about him in one way or another, and understood he was
generally willin' to take a chance.
"Maybe you're right," says I. "Anyway, he shouldn't miss hearin' this
lovely yarn of yours. You come back with me and I'll see if I can't
fix it durin' the afternoon. Let's see, what did you say the name of
this island was?"
"I didn't say," says Rupert. "I can tell you the old Spanish name,
however, which no one on the west coast seems to know. It is Nunca
Secos Key--meaning the key that is never dry."
"Huh!" says I. "That listens better in Spanish. Better not translate
if you want to make a hit."
"I am merely stating the facts as they are," says Rupert.
He's a serious-minded gink, and all frivolous cracks are lost on him
completely. He's a patient waiter, too. He sticks around for over two
hours without gettin' restless, until finally Mr. Robert blows in from
the club. First chance I gets, I springs Rupert on him.
"A guy with a great little scheme," says I, winkin'. "If you can spare
ten minutes he'll tell you something worth while, so he says."
"Very well," says Mr. Robert. "But ten minutes must be the limit."
Say, it was rich, too, watchin' Mr. Robert's face as he listens to this
weird tale of pirates and buried gold. First off he was tryin' to be
polite, and only smiled sarcastic; but when Rupert gets to spreadin' on
the romance, Mr. Robert starts drummin' his fingers on the desk and
glancin' at his watch.
Right in the midst of the recital, too, Old Hickory drifts out of his
private office, and stands waitin' with his ear cocked. He has a
report or something he wants to ask a question about, and I was lookin'
every minute to see him crash right in. But Rupert is in high gear,
and goin' stronger all the while; so Mr. Ellins just stands there and
listens. The Cap. had got to the part where he describes this
mysterious island with the mound in the middle, when Mr. Robert shrugs
his shoulders impatient.
"My good fellow," says he, "whatever gave you the notion I would be
interested in such rubbish? Sorry, but your time is up. Torchy, will
you show Mr.--er--what's-his-name to the elevator?"
Which I did as comfortin' as I knew how. Course, he's feelin' some
hurt at bein' choked off so abrupt, but he takes it calm enough.
"Oh, well," says he, "perhaps I can find someone else who will
appreciate that this is the opportunity of a lifetime."
"Sure you can," says I. "Broadway's just lined with willin' ears."
I'd loaded him into an elevator and was strollin' through the
waitin'-room, when Old Hickory comes paddin' out as slinky as a man of
his weight can.
"Young man," says he, "where is that Captain person?"
"About the tenth floor by now, sir," says I.
"Bring him back," says Mr. Ellins, sharp and snappy. "Through the
private entrance. Understand?"
I nods and makes a dive into an upbound car that's just makin' a stop
at the seventeenth. "Hey, Jimmy, reverse her! I'll square you with
the starter. That's it. Shoot us down."
So, when Rupert steps out on the ground floor, I'm there to take him by
the arm and lead him back into the elevator.
"Why--why, what's the matter now?" he asks.
"Couldn't say," says I. "Only you're wanted again. It's the Big Boss
this time--Old Hickory Ellins himself. And lemme put you hep to this,
Cap'n; if that's a phony tale you're peddlin', don't try it on him."
"But it's all true--every word of it," insists Rupert.
"Even so," says I, "I wouldn't chance it on with Old Hickory. He's a
hard-headed old plute, and that romance dope is likely to make him
froth at the mouth. If he starts in givin' you the third degree, or
anything like that, you'd better close up like a clam. Here we are,
and for the love of Pete draw it mild."
You see, I hadn't minded passin' on a freak to Mr. Robert, for he often
gets a laugh out of 'em. But Mr. Ellins is different. The site of his
bump of humor is a dimple at the base of his skull, and if he traces up
the fact that I'm the one who turned Rupert and his pirate yarn loose
in the general offices my standin' as a discriminating private sec. is
goin' to get a sad jolt.
So when Cap'n Killam has been in on the carpet near an hour, with no
signs of his either havin' been let out or fired through a window, I
begins to get nervous. Once Mr. Robert starts to go into Old Hickory's
sanctum; but he finds the door locked, and shortly after that he shuts
his roll-top and leaves for the day.
It's near closin' time when Old Hickory opens the door an inch or two,
throws a scouty glance around, and beckons me mysterious to come in.
Rupert is still there and still alive. In fact, he's chokin' over one
of Mr. Ellins' fat black cigars, but otherwise lookin' fairly satisfied
with himself.
"Young man," says Old Hickory, "I understand that you have heard some
of Captain Killam's story."
"Eh?" says I, careless like. "Oh, yes; I believe he did feed a little
of that tale to me, but--"
"You will kindly forget to mention it about the office," he cuts in.
"Yes, sir," says I. "That'll be the easiest thing I do. At the time
it sounded mighty--"
"Never mind how it sounded to you," says he. "Your enthusiasms are
easily aroused. Mine kindle somewhat more slowly, but when-- Well, no
need to discuss that, either. What I want you to do is to take Captain
Killam to some quiet little hotel--the Tillington, for instance--and
engage a comfortable room for him; a room and bath, perhaps."
"Ye-es, sir," I gasps out.
"In the morning," he goes on, "you will call for the Captain about nine
o'clock. If he has with him at that time certain odd pieces of antique
jewelry, you may report over the 'phone to me and I will tell you what
to do next."
I expect I was gawpin' some, and starin' from one to the other of 'em,
for Mr. Ellins scowls and clears his throat menacin'.
"Well?" he growls.
"I was just lettin' it sink in, sir," says I.
"Humph!" he snorts. "If it will help the process any, I may say that I
am considering the possibility of going on a cruise South with Captain
Killam--for my health."
At which Old Hickory drops his left eyelid and indulges in what passes
with him for a chuckle.
That's my cue to grin knowin', after which I gets my hat and starts off
with Rupert. We'd only got into the corridor when Old Hickory calls me
hack, wavin' a twenty.
"Pay for two days in advance," says he, and then adds in a whisper:
"Keep close track of him. See that he doesn't get away, or talk too
much."
"Yes, sir," says I. "Gag and bind, if necessary."
But there don't seem to be much need of even warnin' Rupert. He hardly
opens his mouth on the way up to the hotel, but trails along silent,
his eyes fixed starey, like he was thinkin' deep.
"Well," says I, after a bell-hop had shown us into one of the
Tillington's air-shaft rooms and gone for ten cents' worth of ice
water, "it looks like you had the Big Boss almost buffaloed with that
pirate tale of yours."
Rupert don't enthuse much at that.
"As a cautious business man," says he, "I suppose Mr. Ellins is quite
right in moving slowly. He wants to see the jewelry, and he wishes
time to investigate. Still, it seems to me that my story ought to
speak for itself."
"That's the line," says I. "Stick to that. But I wouldn't chatter
about it to strangers."
Rupert smiles indulgent.
"Thank you," says he. "You need not fear. I have kept my secret for
three years--and I still hold it."
He's a dramatic cuss, Rupert. I leaves him posin' in front of the
mirror on the bathroom door, gazin' sort of romantic at himself.
"Not a common, everyday nut," as I explains to Vee that night, when I
goes up for my reg'lar Wednesday evenin' call, "but a nut, all the
same. Sort of a parlor pirate, too."
"And you think there isn't any buried treasure, after all?" asks Vee.
"Don't it sound simple?" I demands.
"I'm not so sure," says Vee, shakin' her head. "There were pirates on
the Florida coast, you know. I've read about them. And--and just
fancy, Torchy! If his story were really true!"
"What was the name of that island, again?" puts in Auntie.
Honest, I hadn't thought she was takin' notice at all when I was givin'
Vee a full account of my afternoon session with Rupert. She never does
chime in much with our talk. And I judged she was too busy with her
sweater-knittin' to hear a word. But here she is, askin' details.
"Why," says I, "Captain Killam calls it Nunca Secos Key."
"What an odd name!" says Auntie. "And you left him at some hotel, did
you? The--er--"
"Tillington," says I.
"Oh, yes," says Auntie, and resumes her knittin' placid.
Course, there I was, gassin' away merry about what Old Hickory wanted
kept a dead secret. But I usually do tell things to Vee. She ain't
one of the leaky kind. And Auntie don't go out much. Besides, who'd
think of an old girl like that ever bein' interested in such wild
back-number stuff? How foolish!
So I wasn't worryin' any that night, and at quarter of nine next
mornin' I shows up at the hotel to send up a call for Rupert.
"Captain Killam?" says the room clerk with the plastered front hair.
"Why, he left an hour or more ago."
"Yes, I know," says I; "but he was coming back."
"No," says the clerk; "he said he wasn't. Took his bag, too."
"Wha-a-at!" I gasps. "He--he ain't gone for good, has he?"
"So it seems," says the clerk, and steps back to continue his chat with
the snub-nosed young lady at the 'phone exchange.
How was that for an early mornin' bump? What was the idea, anyway?
Rupert had found a prospective backer, hadn't he? And was bein' taken
care of. What more could he ask? Unless--unless someone else had got
next to him. But who could have heard of this--
"Gee!" I groans. "I wonder?"
I couldn't stand there starin' foolish across the register and do the
wonderin' act all day, though. Besides, I wanted to follow a clew. It
ain't a very likely one, but it's better'n nothing. So I slides out
and boards a Columbus Avenue surface car, and inside of twenty minutes
I'm at Auntie's apartments, interviewin' Helma, her original bonehead
maid.
No, Miss Verona wasn't at home. She'd gone for her morning ride in the
park. Also Auntie was out.
"So early as this?" says I. "When did Auntie get away?"
"Before breakfast yet," says Helma. "She telephone long time, then a
gentlemans coom, and she go out."
"Not a gent with pale hair and plenty of freckles on his face?" I asks.
Helma gazes thoughtless at the ceilin' a minute.
"Yah," says she. "Den have funny face, all--all rusty."
"The sleuthy old kidnapper!" says I. "Could she have pulled anything
like that? Here, lemme step in and leave a note for Miss Vee. I want
her to call me up when she comes in. No I'll dash it off right here on
the lib'ry table. Here's a pad and--"
I broke off there, because my mouth was open too wide for further
remarks. On the table was a big atlas opened to the map of Florida.
And on the margin, with a line drawn from about the middle of the west
coast, was something written faint in pencil.
"Nunca Secos Key!" I reads. "Good night! Auntie's got the bug--and
Rupert."
"Vass it is?" asks Helma.
"I'm double-crossed, that's what it is," says I. "I've had a nice long
nap at the switch, and I've just woke up in time to see the fast
express crash on towards an open draw. Hal-lup! Hal-lup! I know I'll
never be the same again."
"It's too bad, yah," says Helma sympathetic.
"That don't half describe it," says I. "And what is goin' to happen
when I report to Old Hickory won't be nice to print in the papers."
"Should I say something by Miss Vee when she coom?" asks Helma.
"Yes," says I. "Tell her to kindly omit flowers."
And with that I starts draggy towards the elevator.
Oh, no! Private seccing ain't always what you might call a slumber
part.