"Excellent," said this person who professed to be in charge of the test.
"Please draw the chair close up to the wall, climb upon it and, standing
on tiptoe, say coo-coo clearly and distinctly and keep on saying it
until I call out 'Enough.'"
[Illustration: "SAY COO-COO CLEARLY AND DISTINCTLY AND KEEP ON SAYING IT
UNTIL I CALL OUT 'ENOUGH'"]
Marvelling that such a prolonged test should be deemed necessary, I
nevertheless obliged by acting as instructed. I had repeated the word
for what seemed to me an interminable space of time and was rapidly
becoming wearied by the exertion of maintaining the position required
when the voice said "Enough." I lost no time in dismounting to _terra
firma_, or rather the floor.
"Thank you so much," stated the unknown. "Just one more little test,
doctor, and we'll be through. Have you a good singing voice?"
In proper modesty but with a due regard for the truth, I admitted that
although I never enjoyed the advantages of vocal culture, friends had
more than once commented upon the quality of my voice when uplifted in
song.
"I sing tenor," I amplified, for as yet I suspected nothing.
"Very well then," bade the stranger; "are you holding the receiver to
your ear?"
"I am."
"Keep it there. And now stand on your head and sing 'Just as I am
Without One Plea.'"
I started back astounded. Instantly I divined, in a lightning flash of
intuition, that apparently an effort was being made to perpetrate a
hoax. In the same moment I arrived at the definite conclusion that the
object of that hoax could be none other than myself. For a fleeting
period my natural indignation was such that language almost failed me.
Simultaneously I became aware of a sound as of suppressed laughter
outside my study window. Releasing my hold upon the receiver which,
until then, mechanically I had retained in my grasp, I stepped to my
casement and peered out, first looking this way, then that. No one was
in sight; I must have fancied I heard something.
When I had in part recovered myself I lost no time in calling up the
manager of the exchange, my intent being to explain the entire
circumstance to him, with a view to demanding condign punishment of the
person in his inspection department, whoever she might be, who with
wilful design had sought to debase the organisation of his office to
purposes of ill-timed merrymaking. He cut me short to say he had no such
testing department whatsoever. From his tone I was impelled to accept
his statement as a truthful one, all of which but served to confirm my
suspicions without in the least explaining the mystery which at this
hour remains unsolved. I am puzzled--nay, more, I am nettled, and did I
not possess the power of holding my emotions under a well-nigh perfect
control, I would go so far as to say that I have been outright
irritated.
* * * * *
APRIL THE TWENTY-THIRD.--My earlier suspicions stand confirmed. To-day,
as I was passing through a corridor of the main building, I twice heard
the word "coo-coo" repeated in a sibilant undertone. Spinning upon my
heel, I detected a group of our seniors who with difficulty stifled
their merriment; and I saw, too, Miss Hamm, her face illumined by a
smile, with one hand upraised as though in gentle admonition of them.
This helped to explain much. The raillery could not have been intended
for me, since already I had passed on. Moreover, none here knows of the
experience through which I passed, and the _contretemps_ averted by my
own presence of mind. Therefore, it is quite plain that the would-be
joker has been playing similar pranks upon others at Fernbridge.
I wonder whether Miss Hamm herself could have been a victim of such
outrageous imposition?
Botanized alone this afternoon, feeling strongly the desire for
congenial companionship. Why does this longing so frequently beset me
when I go forth to commune with Nature in her gentler moods? I know not,
unless it be the influence of the vernal season.
Secured several desirable specimens. Returning through the gloaming I
felt a desire to indulge in poetic composition, and did in fact compose
several well-balanced lines, being finally balked by an inability to
recall a word which would rhyme with a certain female name I had in
mind.
In its entirety a disappointing day, albeit not without its moments of
what I may term a softly soothing melancholy.
* * * * *
APRIL THE TWENTY-SIXTH.--Word came this morning that Miss Hamm was
confined to her home in an ailing condition. As a member of the faculty
and because of the interest I take in the prospective development of
this young woman's character, I felt it my bounden duty to send her a
short note expressing my regret that she should be indisposed and my
sincere hope that she may soon be restored to her customary health. Did
so. Upon finishing the note an impulse to accompany it with a small
nosegay culled from my window box came upon me. Obeyed the impulse, note
and nosegay being despatched by special messenger to the home of her
uncle.
* * * * *
APRIL THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.--Miss Hamm still absent from her post and no
answer forthcoming from my note of yesterday.
Altogether a dismal and dispiriting day, several members of my history
class evincing great stupidity during the lesson periods.
To-night a threat of rain in the firmament, with clouds gathering and a
murky twilight. Being of a nature more or less sensitive to atmospheric
influences, I feel a corresponding gloominess.
* * * * *
APRIL THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.--A line of thanks in Miss Hamm's handwriting
received; short but couched attractively, methought. Was particularly
struck by one-line phrase: "So very good of you to think of me!"
Weather clearing and promising!
* * * * *
APRIL THE THIRTIETH.--Miss Hamm returned to her work betimes to-day, a
slight but becoming pallor in her cheeks. Took occasion to congratulate
her upon so speedy a recuperation, incidentally exchanging with her
comment upon contemporaneous events, not only within the scope of our
seminary life but in the great world at large.
Rarely, if ever, do I recall a more beautiful sunset than the one of
current date. Merely to behold the orb of day descending beyond the
western horizon in all its magnificence of prismatic colouring was
sufficient to awaken within one's bosom the desire to burst into song.
Am reminded that the morrow will be May Day when, in the olden days in
Merrie England, the happy populace were wont to frolic about the May
pole, to indulge in morris dances, to witness mummeries and mystery
plays. How great the pity that such pleasant customs should have fallen
into misuse! I would they were revived here at Fernbridge! Fain would I
myself lend my energies and talents to such an undertaking. At least so
do I feel at this moment.
Eleven-thirty-eight P. M.--Have arisen from my couch to jot down several
rhythmic lines which came to me subsequent to retirement; a continuation
in spirit and theme of the verses which I began some days ago. However,
the work still remains incomplete, for after much pondering I am unable
to find a word rhyming to the word with which I had intended to conclude
the composition.
How euphonious to the ear and yet how unusual is the name Hildegarde! I
imagine that the difficulty of suitably rhyming it is the very reason
for my having chosen it.
* * * * *
MAY THE SEVENTH.--To-day at faculty meeting Miss Primleigh evinced
toward me a marked coolness of demeanour and shortness of speech, for
which I am totally unable to account. I cannot recall having given
offence either by word or deed. Indeed, for a fortnight past I have been
so engrossed with other matters that barely have I spoken ten words to
Miss Primleigh.
To-night reread "A Dream of Fair Women," by the late Lord Tennyson,
finding everywhere in it new beauties, new meanings, which upon the
occasion of earlier readings had entirely escaped me.
Found opportunity this afternoon to pay another of my little visits to
the gymnasium hall. Complimented Miss Hamm upon the indubitable progress
made by her disciples. I find these small casual calls upon various
departments of our work form agreeable interludes in the monotony of the
day.
Her hair is not chestnut brown; I was wrong there. It is of a rich,
golden-reddish tint, a shade to which I am quite partial, especially
when observed in conjunction with large hazel eyes, as in the present
instance.
* * * * *
MAY THE EIGHTH.--To-night, being minded to seek relaxation in
literature, I picked up my Tasso, but, soon tiring of the Latin, I
exchanged it for Shakspere's "Romeo and Juliet." I am gratified that I
made this second choice, for from it has sprung an inspiration which may
prove fruitful. Hardly had I opened the latter volume when the idea,
darting forth, so to speak, from the typed page, found congenial
lodgment in my intelligence.
It is our custom, upon the occasion of our annual commencement in June,
to present a scene selected from the realms of classic drama, with
members of the faculty and of the student body enacting the characters.
Last year, by mine own suggestion, we presented an act of one of the old
Greek tragedies, I, as sponsor for the conception, rehearsing the
performers beforehand and upon the final day personally superintending
the performance; stage managing it, as the cant term runs. Although I
gave great pains and care to the production, it did not prove in all
essential regards an unqualified success. The audience, made up of
friends and patrons of Fernbridge and of townspeople, manifested toward
the last a regrettable lack of interest. Some betrayed impatience, some
fitfully slumbered in their seats, some even laughed outright at periods
fraught with solemn meaning. One could but feel that one's efforts went
unappreciated. But scarce an hour ago, as I read sundry immortal
passages of the Bard, I said to myself:
"Why not offer this year, as our dramatic _piece de resistance_, the
balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet? Happy thought! Why not indeed? And
now tentatively to cast it?"
As one well qualified for the part, I naturally pictured myself as
Romeo, clad appropriately in doublet, hose and feathered cap, but
without my glasses. Casting about in my mind for a suitable Juliet, the
name of Miss Hamm occurred to me.
Reading from the book I proceeded to enact this most touching scene,
alternately speaking in my own voice as Romeo and then imparting to
Juliet's line a more dulcet tone and a softened inflection such as my
copartner in the rendition would employ. Carried away by the beauty of
the thought, I had progressed as far as those exquisite lines--Juliet's
lines in this instance:
_O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon,_
_That monthly changes in her circled orb,_
_Lest that thy love prove likewise variable--_
when I became cognisant that for some moments past an insistent rapping
against the outer door of my rooms had been in progress, and then as I
came to a pause I heard through the keyhole the voice of Miss Tupper,
our matron, inquiring whether anything serious was the matter.
"I thought I heard somebody carrying on in there as though they might be
raving or something?" she added in her inept fashion of speech.
Much annoyed, I answered with some acerbity, bidding her kindly to be
gone. She withdrew, grumbling as she went. When I had assured myself, by
a glance out of my door, that she had entirely departed, I undertook to
proceed with the scene, but as a consequence of this untoward
interruption was quite out of spirit with the thing.
However, I am still greatly attracted to the idea, and on the morrow I
mean to take advantage of suitable opportunity to address Miss Hamm upon
the project with a view to enlisting her sympathies and co-operation, as
no doubt I shall succeed in doing. My powers of persuasion frequently
have been the subject of compliment.
Finished the bottle of Great-Aunt Paulina's blood tonic this evening.
Shall not have the prescription renewed as originally contemplated.
Diverting thoughts appear to be succeeding where herbs and simples
failed.
* * * * *
MAY THE NINTH.--This forenoon upon my broaching the topic of our
prospective coappearance in the annual commencement entertainment,
subject, of course, to Miss Waddleton's approval, I found, as I had
anticipated would be the case, that Miss Hamm was quite thoroughly in
accord with the proposition. However, at the outset she misunderstood
one point. Plainly it was her idea that she, in mediaeval masculine
attire, was to essay the role of Romeo. She asked who was to be Juliet
to her Romeo. When I had corrected her in this error, explaining the
proposed bestowal of the roles--she as Juliet upon the balcony, I as
Romeo upon the stage below--she seemed quite overcome with
gratification, managing, however, in part to cloak her feelings beneath
smiles and laughter.
I then voiced the suggestion that I should be very glad indeed to call
upon her some evening in the near future at her home, there to outline
the plans more fully. Pleased that she should so freely welcome this
advance upon my part, I was moved to suggest the present evening as a
suitable time for calling. But she, it appeared, had an engagement for
this evening, and we then fixed upon to-morrow evening at eight o'clock.
To-night I find myself looking forward with pleasurable anticipation,
not unmixed with impatience, to this hour twenty-four hours hence. I
shall wear a new suit which this day, by a fortunate chance, came from
my tailor. It is of a light grey tone, a deviation from the black which
uniformly I have worn for some years past.
Before retiring I shall again rehearse the balcony scene, but this time,
in a low key, to preclude eavesdropping.
I wonder what the nature of Miss Hamm's engagement for the current
evening may be?
* * * * *
MAY THE TENTH.--The hour is eleven and I have but just returned from a
visit of several hours' duration to the home of Miss Hamm's uncle, of
which domicile she seems to be the light and the joy. Excluding
herself--and this I would be the last to do--the only member of the
household, save and except domestic servants, is her uncle and
guardian, Mr. Hector Hamm, a widower by reason of death's ravages and a
retired business man of apparent affluent circumstances. This gentleman,
it developed, is much given to the sports of the chase. His study, into
which I was first introduced upon arriving at his domicile shortly
before seven-forty-five, abounds in trophies of his marksmanship, the
walls upon every hand being adorned with the stuffed forms and mounted
heads of birds and animals, testifying not only to his prowess afield
but to the art preservative as exercised by the skilled taxidermist.
Miss Hamm, in her quaint way, spoke of the uncle as an old dear, but
accused him of wasting all his money in the buying of new firearms. It
would appear that no sooner does he behold an advertisement touching
upon a new and improved variety of fowling piece than he is actuated by
an overmastering desire to become its possessor. Strange fancy!
Mr. Hamm is likewise the owner of a number of members of the canine
kingdom, all of them, I should assume, being docile beasts and well
meaning enough, but with an unpleasant habit of sniffing at the calves
of the legs of strangers the while emitting low ominous growling sounds.
Possibly detecting in me some natural apprehension consequent upon the
stealthy approach of one of these pets, Mr. Hamm hastened to inform me
that they rarely bit any one unless they took an instinctive dislike to
him at the moment of meeting. As I drew my limbs well under me, since it
seemed it was my legs which especially aggravated the creature,
meanwhile uttering such soothing remarks as "Good doggie" and "Nice old
Ponto," I could scarce refrain from remarking that if one felt the
desire for the presence of dumb creatures about one, why did not one
choose a cat, of which at least it may be said that its habits are
restful and its customary mien without menace to the humans with whom it
may be thrown in contact?
Presently the uncle withdrew from our society, to my relief taking with
him his pack, whereupon Miss Hamm and I repaired to the parlour
adjacent, where a most delightful evening was had. Miss Hamm's
conversation, even though marked by a levity not at all times in keeping
with the nature of the subject under discussion, is, I find, sprightly
and diverting in the extreme. All in all, time passed most swiftly. A
suitable hour of departure had arrived before I remembered that I had
altogether failed to bring up the topic which was the occasion of my
visit--to wit, our prospective part in the commencement entertainment.
Accordingly I arranged to call again to-morrow evening.
* * * * *
MAY THE SIXTEENTH.--As per my custom of late I spent the evening at the
residence of Mr. Hamm; the time being devoted to the pleasures of
conversation, riddles, anagrams--at which I am adept--interchange of
views upon current events, et cetera, et cetera.
Reviewing recent events here in my study as the hour of midnight draws
on apace, I own frankly to an ever-deepening interest in this young
woman. There are moments when I feel strangely drawn to her; moments
when her society exhilarates me as does nothing else.
How marvellous, how incomprehensible are the workings of the
manifestations of the human imagination! Consider the differences in our
modes of life, our fashions of speech, our habits! I refer of course to
Miss Hamm and myself. I am sedentary in nature and utterly without
sentimental leanings--I use the word sentimental in its most respectful
sense--toward members of the opposite sex; I am wedded to my profession,
devoted to the life of a scholar, while she, upon the other hand, is
ardent and exuberant in temperament, frolicsome, blithe, at times almost
frivolous in conversation, given to all forms of outdoor sport, filled
with youthful dreams. Consider, too, the disparity in our respective
ages, she being, as I am informed by her in a burst of youthful
confidence, still in her twenty-second year, while I shall be forty upon
my next birthday, come Michaelmas.
Yet, despite all this, the fact remains that frequently I feel a
longing, amounting almost to a yearning, for her company. Undoubtedly
the explanation lies in my increasing desire to develop, by precept, by
proverb and by admonition, the higher side of her nature. Moreover, it
is to me evident that this intercourse must prove mutually helpful.
Quite aside from the beneficial results to her, I myself derive, from
these friendly and purely altruistic endeavours of mine, a glow of
intense satisfaction. How true it is that a worthy deed ofttimes carries
with it its own reward!
* * * * *
MAY THE SEVENTEENTH.--I have decided to take up horseback riding. Miss
Hamm is fond of horseback riding.
However, I have not informed her of the decision at which I have
arrived. It is my intention to prosecute my lessons in private at the
establishment of the village liveryman and then, when I have fully
mastered the art, I shall some day appear before her, properly accoutred
and attired, bestriding a mettlesome charger. I picture her astonishment
and her delight at thus beholding me in my new role of a finished and
adept equestrian. In order to confer a pleasant surprise upon one's
friends, I feel that I would go farther even than this. Indeed, a desire
to do valiant and heroic deeds, to rescue imperilled ones from burning
buildings or from floods, to perform acts of foolhardiness and daring
upon the field of carnage, has often stirred within me here of late. I
struggle with these impulses, which heretofore have been foreign to my
being, yet at the same time would welcome opportunity to vent them.
However, all things in their proper order and one thing at a time. I
shall begin by becoming an accomplished horseman.
In anticipation of such an achievement I feel, as it were, youthful--in
fact, almost boyish. After all, what matters a few years' difference in
age as between friends? Is not one as young as one feels?
* * * * *
MAY THE EIGHTEENTH.--Spent the evening at the Hamm residence as usual.
A perfect day and a perfect evening, barring one small disappointment.
Miss Waddleton vetoed my plans for the rendition of the balcony scene
at commencement next month. Yet I do not count as wasted the time spent
in private rehearsals of the role of Romeo, but have, on the contrary,
derived much joy from repeated conning of the speeches attributed to him
by the Bard. At a time not far distant "Lear" was my favourite among
Shakespeare's plays. Now I marvel that I should ever have preferred any
of his works to "Romeo and Juliet."
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-SECOND.--After reflection extending over a period of
days, I have abandoned my perhaps o'erhasty intention of taking up
horseback riding, my preliminary experiences in that direction having
been rather disagreeable as to the physical side. Even now, forty-eight
hours after the initial lesson, I am still much bruised about the limbs
and elsewhere and, because of a certain corporeal stiffness due to
repeated jarrings, I walk with painful difficulty.
Either I shall acquire the rudiments of this accomplishment from
standard works upon the subject, or I shall bide my time until I may
avail myself of the services of an animal of a more docile nature than
those available at the local liveryman's. His horses, it would appear,
are subject to queer vagaries of conduct when under saddle, betraying an
idiosyncrasy as to movement and a pronounced tendency to break into
rapid gait without the approval or indeed the consent of the rider.
My thoughts recur to the recreation of botanizing, which for a period
lost some of its savour for me. At least, botany is fraught with no
personal discomforts.
Called as usual this evening. Nightly our acquaintance ripens toward a
perfect mutual understanding.
This has indeed been a lovely spring!
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-THIRD.--It is with a sensation of more than passing
annoyance that I record the events of this evening. At seven-fifteen,
immediately after tea, I set forth for the Hamm residence, carrying
under my arm a book of verses intended for bestowal upon the young
chatelaine of that happy home, and much buoyed and uplifted by
prospects of a period of agreeable divertisement spent in her society.
But such was not to be.
To begin with, the uncle consumed much valuable time in an interminable
dissertation upon the merits of a new fowling piece which he
contemplates purchasing. One was thoroughly wearied of the subject
before he had the good taste to depart to his own special domain in the
room adjoining the parlour. Thereafter for a few minutes all passed
well. Miss Hamm accepted the gift of the book with expressions of deep
gratitude. Her mood was one of whimsicality, into the spirit of which I
found my self entering with hearty accord. Being a most capable mimic,
she gave a spirited and life-like imitation of Miss Primleigh in the act
of reprimanding a delinquent student. One could not well restrain one's
laughter at the aptitude with which she reproduced Miss Primleigh's
severity of expression and somewhat acid quality of voice. One gathered
also, from chance remarks let fall, that Miss Primleigh had lately
treated Miss Hamm with marked aversion bordering upon actual
discourtesy. How any one, thrown in contact with her, could regard Miss
Hamm with any feelings save those of admiration and respect is quite
beyond my comprehension.
However, I contented myself by saying that Miss Primleigh had likewise
displayed a coolness to me for some weeks past. "I wonder," I said,
continuing in this strain, "why this should be and why she should
likewise single you out as a recipient of her disapproval--or let us say
her disfavour?"
"Can't you guess?" said Miss Hamm, with an arch expression and a
peculiar inflection in her words. Puzzled, I shook my head.
At this juncture another interruption occurred. A caller in the person
of a Mr. Pomeroy was announced by the maidservant. I had heard Miss Hamm
refer to this person on divers preceding occasions and from the outset
had taken a dislike to the sound of his name. It would appear that he
resides in the city of Baltimore, Maryland, and that he knew Miss Hamm
and her uncle ere their removal to these parts. It would appear also
that he arrived here this afternoon with the avowed intention of
remaining several days in our peaceful community--why, though, I know
not, unless it be that perversely he would inflict himself upon a young
lady who conceivably cannot possibly be interested in his society or in
the idle vapourings of his mind.
Almost immediately this Mr. Pomeroy was ushered into our presence. His
appearance, his demeanour, his entire ensemble, were such as to confirm
in me the prejudice engendered against him e'en before I beheld him in
the flesh. His dress was of an extravagant and exaggerated style, and
his overly effusive manner of greeting Miss Hamm extremely distasteful,
while his attitude toward me was one of flamboyant familiarity;
altogether I should say a young man of forward tendencies, shallow,
flippant, utterly lacking in the deeper and finer sensibilities which
ever distinguish those of true culture, and utterly disregardful of the
proper and ordained conventionalities. In conversation he is addicted to
vain follies and meaningless witticisms, and his laughter, in which he
is prone to indulge without due cause so far as I can note, has a most
grating sound upon the ear. In short, I do not care for this young man;
freely and frankly I confess it here.
I had meant to stay on until he had betaken himself away, being minded
to have a few words in private with Miss Hamm touching upon Miss
Primleigh's peculiar and inexplicable attitude toward us, but since he
persisted in remaining on and on, I, having a proper regard for the
proprieties, was constrained shortly after eleven o'clock to depart. As
I was upon the point of going, he halted me, saying in effect:
"Doctor, you're a college professor--I want to ask you a scientific
question and see if you can give me a scientific answer."
"Pray proceed," I said, smiling gently in Miss Hamm's direction.
"Why," he said, "is a mouse that spins?"
He then paused as though awaiting my reply, and when I confessed myself
unable to hazard an answer, or even to understand so peculiar a
problem, with a great discordant guffaw he said:
"Why, the higher, the fewer!"
Upon coming here I cogitated the matter deeply, but I am as yet far from
a solution. Why is a mouse that spins? And if so, what does it spin?
Patently the query is incomplete. And what possible bearing can
comparative altitude as contrasted with the comparative infrequency of a
species have upon the peculiarities of a mouse addicted to spinning?
I shall now to bed, dismissing all thoughts of a certain boorish
individual from my mind.
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-FOURTH.--He lingers on--the person Pomeroy. It developed
this forenoon that he had succeeded in extorting from Miss Hamm a
promise to permit him to call this evening. I can only assume that
through goodness of heart and a desire to avoid wounding any one she
again consented to receive him at her home.
This afternoon, in thoughtful mood not untinged with vague repinings, my
footsteps carried me, unwittingly as it were, to that beetling
promontory from which our peaceful hamlet derives its name. For long I
stood upon the crest of that craggy eminence wherefrom, so tradition
tells us, a noble young chieftain of the aborigines who once populated
this locality, being despairful of winning the hand of a fair maid of a
neighbouring but hostile tribe, flung himself in suicidal frenzy adown
the cliff to be dashed into minute fragments upon the cruel rocks below.
Meditating upon the fate of this ill-starred red man, I communed with
mine own inner consciousness. I asked myself the question: "Did you,
Fibble, emulate the example of that despondent Indian youth and leap
headlong from this peak, who in all this careless world other than your
Great-Aunt Paulina would bemoan your piteous end? Who would come to
place with reverent, sorrowing hands the tribute of a floral design such
as a Broken Column or a Gate Ajar upon your lowly bier? Ah, who indeed?"
It was with difficulty that I tore myself away from a spot whose history
so well accorded with the dismal trend of my thoughts. Presently,
passing through a leafy lane leading back to the village, I espied at
some distance in advance of me a couple walking together and apparently
engaged in engrossing conversation. A second glance served to inform me
that one of the pair was Miss Hamm and the other the insufferable
Pomeroy. In a fit of petulance for which I am unable to account, unless
it be due to my displeasure that he should continue to press his
unwelcome attentions upon a young woman so immeasurably his superior, I
dashed my eyeglasses upon the earth, thereby breaking the right lens.
Yet I count the damage as naught, nor do I regret giving way to so
violent an exhibition of temper.
To-night, finding the seclusion of my study dispiriting, I went forth
upon a long and purposeless walk beneath the stars. Through chance I
found myself, at or about eleven o'clock, in the vicinity of Mr. Hector
Hamm's place of residence. Aimlessly lingering here in the shadow of the
trees, I soon espied Pomeroy issuing from the gate of the residence and
making off, whistling gaily as he went. He disappeared in the darkness,
still whistling in a loud and vulgar manner. I could almost wish he
might be choked by his own whistling. As for myself, I never whistle.
In this mood I have returned here to pen these lines. I fear me I shall
sleep but ill the night, for distracting and gloomy thoughts race
through my brain. I feel myself not to be myself. I wonder why?
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-FIFTH.--The odious Pomeroy has betaken himself hence.
Quite by accident I happened to drop into our local hostelry, the Briggs
House, this morning and ascertained by a purely cursory glance at the
register that he had paid his account and departed. I may only add that
I trust he sees his way clear to remaining away indefinitely or, better
still, permanently.
This is Sunday and I shall be engaged with our services. But upon
to-morrow night, when it is my intention to resume my friendly visits to
the Hamm home, I mean to take an important step. For long I have been
cogitating it and my mind is now firmly made up. As yet I have not fully
memorised the language in which I shall frame my request, but I have
convinced myself that our acquaintanceship has now advanced to a point
where the liberty I would take is amply justified. I shall formally ask
Miss Hamm that in our hours of private communion together, if not in
public, she call me Roscoe, while in return I mean, with her consent, to
address her as Hildegarde.
None need know of this excepting ourselves. It will be, as I conceive, a
secret between us, a bond, a tie, as it were.
Good night, small russet-clad confidante. Prithee be of good cheer! When
next we meet perchance I may have happy news for you.
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-SIXTH.--No entry.
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.--No entry.
* * * * *
MAY THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.--A terrible, a hideous, an inconceivable
catastrophe has descended upon the devoted head of Fibble!
With a fevered, tremulous hand, with one leg--to wit, the right
one--enclosed in a plaster cast, with a soul racked by remorse, by vain
regrets and by direst apprehensions, I pen the above words. My brain
seethes with incoherent thoughts, my very frame quivers with suffering
and with frightful forebodings. 'Tis with the utmost difficulty that I
manage to inscribe these piteous lines. Yet inscribe them I must and
shall. Should the worst befall, should the dread hand of violence strike
me down ere I have succeeded in fleeing this perilous spot, this
confession shall remain behind, a testimonial, to tell the world and
_her_ that I perished a martyr upon the altars of unrequited affection
and to explain the innate purity of my motives, however far I may have
fallen, in one rash moment of uncontrollable impulse, from the lofty
pinnacles of honour. Though I lie weltering in my gore, my lips forever
closed, my hand forever stilled, the record shall endure to show that I,
the disgraced and the deceased Fibble, would, from the confines of the
silent tomb, beg forgiveness for my criminal indiscretion. I shall write
all! My tears descending as I write bedew the sheet, and beneath my
swimming eyes the lines waver, but in haste I write on, lest the slayer
find me before my final task be done.
We were alone together. We were side by side. Upon a couch we sat in
close juxtaposition. The hour was approximately nine-thirty; the time
two nights agone. I bent toward her, half whispering my words. With all
the fervour of which I am capable I told her I had a request to make of
her; told her that compliance with this request would have a bearing
upon all our future communions, bringing us nearer to each other,
forming a link between us. My executors will understand, after a perusal
of the paragraphs immediately preceding, that I meant to ask her to call
me Roscoe and in return to vouchsafe to me the boon and the privilege of
calling her Hildegarde.
Bending her head, she said, with that simple directness so
characteristic of her, "Go right ahead." Suddenly I found her hand
intertwined in mine. I do not attempt to explain this phenomenon;
indeed, I was not conscious of having sought to encompass her hand
within my own; I merely state it a verity. Her fingers pressed against
mine--or so to me it seemed.
"Go right ahead, doctor," she repeated. "I'm listening."
The touch of her hand laid a spell upon me. Instantaneously all my
forces of self-reserve were swept away. With the startling abruptness of
a bolt from the blue, realisation of a thing which I had never before
suspected came full upon me, and for the first time I knew that for
Hildegarde Hamm I entertained a sentiment deeper than that of mere
friendship--yes, far, far deeper. I knew that I cared for her; in short,
I knew that I loved her.
Madness was upon me--a delicious, an all-consuming fire burned within
me. I forgot that I was a guest beneath her roof, enjoying the
hospitality of her beloved and revered relative. I forgot the meed of
respect I owed to her, forgot the responsibilities imposed upon me. I
forgot all else except that I, Roscoe T. Fibble, loved Hildegarde Hamm.
[Illustration: TO BE EXACT, I KISSED AT HER]
I became as the caveman, who by brute force would win his mate. I obeyed
a primeval impulse. Without a word of warning, without excuse, without
prefatory remark of any nature whatsoever, I acted: