Under this stone lies Dick and Dolly.
Doll dying first, Dick grew melancholy;
For Dick without Doll thought living a folly.
Dick lost in Doll a wife tender and dear:
But Dick lost by Doll twelve hundred a-year;
A loss that Dick thought no mortal could bear.
Dick sigh'd for his Doll, and his mournful arms cross'd;
Thought much of his Doll, and the jointure he lost;
The first vex'd him much, the other vex'd most.
Thus loaded with grief, Dick sigh'd and he cried:
To live without both full three days he tried;
But liked neither loss, and so quietly died.
Dick left a pattern few will copy after:
Then, reader, pray shed some tears of salt water;
For so sad a tale is no subject of laughter.
Meath smiles for the jointure, though gotten so late;
The son laughs, that got the hard-gotten estate;
And Cuffe[3] grins, for getting the Alicant plate.
Here quiet they lie, in hopes to rise one day,
Both solemnly put in this hole on a Sunday,
And here rest----_sic transit gloria mundi_!
[Footnote 1: Of Kilbrue, in the county of Meath.--_F._]
[Footnote 2: Dorothy, dowager of Edward, Earl of Meath. She was married
to the general in 1716, and died 10th April, 1728. Her husband survived
her but two days.--_F_.
The Dolly of this epitaph is the same lady whom Swift satirized in
his "Conference between Sir Harry Pierce's Chariot and Mrs. Dorothy
Stopford's Chair." See _ante_, p.85.--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 3: John Cuffe, of Desart, Esq., married the general's eldest
daughter.--_F._]