“World’s use is cold--world’s love is vain,--
World’s cruelty is bitter bane;
But pain is not the fruit of pain.”
E. B. Browning.
|If life during the past three years had been difficult for Macneillie
it had been tenfold more difficult for Christine Greville. As everyone
had foreseen, her position called for a strength of character which she
did not possess, for a power of endurance which she was only learning
by slow degrees, and for that sound judgment and prompt womanly wisdom
which had never been her strong point.
She had indeed resigned the cares and anxieties of Management, but this
also meant that she was obliged to put up with whatever arrangements
commended themselves to Barry Sterne at the theatre; and though he and
his wife had always been good friends to her she was often unable to
approve of his way of looking at things.
They had nearly come to a serious disagreement when he engaged Dudley
the comedian assuring her that the man had quite lived down his past.
And though time had more or less reconciled her to this belief, she was
never quite without the instinct which had made Myra Kay shrink from the
man in Scotland. She grew to feel a little more confidence in him when
one day he happened to mention Ralph Denmead in her presence. It was not
so much what he said, but rather his tone and expression when referring
to Ralph.
“So young Denmead is to play Orlando at Stratford next month, I see,” he
observed one morning before rehearsal. “That boy will do well if I’m not
mistaken. There was a touch of genius about him even when I knew him as
a half-starved novice in Scotland.”
“Did you know him then?” said Christine for the first time volunteering
an unnecessary remark to Dudley. “He used to tell me when I was acting
with him in Edinburgh what straits he had been reduced to during the
spring.”
“Yes, we had a rough time, but he was always a plucky, goodnatured
fellow ready to take the fortune of war. I’m glad he has fallen on his
feet. Macneillie has been the making of him.”
“They say Macneillie’s health has broken down,” said another actor
strolling up. “He has gone to Scotland to recruit.”
“He has been roaming about the world too long,” remarked a third. “I
wonder he doesn’t give up his travelling company and settle in town. It
would be better for him in every way.”
“Well he’s doing very good work,” said Dudley. “As a matter of fact
his company and Lorimer’s are the only training schools we have for the
stage. How can the rising generation learn otherwise in these days of
long runs?”
The arrival of Barry Sterne checked the conversation at this moment and
Christine turned away sick at heart, to get through her work as well as
she could to the tune of those haunting words--“His health has broken
down!”
Was it true? Or had some lying paragraph in a newspaper set afloat a
false report?
Her whole nature seemed to rise up in rebellion against the miserable
ignorance of his movements to which she was doomed. It tortured her to
think that dozens of people who were wholly indifferent to him knew all,
while she was racked with anxiety and fear on his behalf.
She went home feeling wretched beyond expression; even Charlie’s eager
greeting could not bring a smile to her face or ease her pain.
“Auntie,” he exclaimed, “there’s a lady in the drawing-room waiting
to see you. She has been here a long time, and she would wait for you.
Susan says she looks as if she were in great trouble.”
“What name did she give?” asked Christine, her mind still full of Hugh
Macneillie’s illness, and a terror seizing her that some bearer of ill
news had come.
Dugald Linklater handed her a card which bore a name quite unknown to
her,--Mrs. Bouvery. She rose with a sigh of weariness.
“Don’t wait for me, Charlie,” she said, “I am not hungry and will
interview this lady first.”
Everything in Christine’s drawing-room was in the perfection of taste,
there were no bright colours; no incongruous mixtures, the prevailing
tint was a quiet low-toned blue: birds sang in the window, and
everywhere her love of growing plants manifested itself. Nothing could
have been more restful and harmonious than the effect of the whole, and
probably no one could have seemed more tranquil and self-possessed than
the graceful fair-haired woman who came forward to greet her visitor,
though all the time beneath the surface her restless heart was full of
passionate pain.
“I am sorry to have kept you waiting so long,” she said, her clear
musical voice making each syllable a separate delight to the ear. As
she spoke she looked wonderingly into the hard grief-worn face of the
elderly lady who had risen as she entered and had coldly acknowledged
her greeting.
There was an uncomfortable pause.
“Can I do anything for you?” said Christine, wondering whether her
visitor had called for a subscription, or whether she was perhaps the
mother of some stage-struck girl come for advice?
“Yes,” said Mrs. Bouvery, “you can listen to what I have to tell you.
You have broken my daughter’s heart madam, you have ruined her life.”
Nervous terror began to fill Christine’s mind. Surely this lady must be
mad. She instinctively measured the distance from the place where she
was sitting to the door.
“I do not understand you,” she faltered. “There must be some mistake. I
do not even know your name.”
“Your name unfortunately is only too familiar to us, however,” said her
visitor remorselessly. “My daughter was engaged to be married to Captain
Karey and until he had the misfortune to see you on the stage she was
perfectly happy. From that day however, all her misery dated. He was
infatuated about you and you lured him on to his death.
“Madam,” said Christine pale with indignation, “you do me a very great
wrong. I never encouraged Captain Karey. On the contrary his persistent
attentions annoyed me very much.”
“Oh, so you say! so they all say!” said Mrs. Bouvery choking back a sob.
“But I don’t believe a word of it. You actresses are all alike; as long
as your vanity is satisfied you don’t care what wretchedness you cause
to others.”
“Is it possible you really believe that I encouraged a mere boy who
must have been at least fifteen years my junior?” said Christine
incredulously. “The moment I saw there was the least risk of anything
serious, I would have nothing more to do with him. Every one of the
presents he tried to give me were returned immediately. What more could
I do?”
“You could retire from a profession which is unfit for any woman, you
could refuse any longer to make your beauty a snare and a peril to men.”
“I think,” said Christine quietly, but with a ring of indignation in her
voice, “you forget that some of the very best of women have been on the
stage. Is art to be crippled, and are we all to retire to nunneries,
because some men are weak fools and some men vicious knaves?”
“I do not care to argue with you,” said her visitor coldly, “The fact
remains that you have spoilt my daughter’s whole life.”
“Indeed I am very sorry for her,” said Christine with a sigh. “I can’t
blame myself for what has happened, but I can feel very much grieved
about it.”
“Whether you blame yourself or not,” said Mrs. Bouvery, “Captain
Karey’s death will be laid to your account at the last day.”
“His death?” cried Christine with dilated eyes. “What do you mean? I had
heard nothing.”
“Oh you had not seen it in the papers? Yes, he died three days ago from
an over-dose of chloral--it was brought in as ‘death by misadventure.’
I do not envy you your feelings at this moment. It was a sad day for him
when he first saw you, for him and for my poor daughter.”
Christine did not speak a word. She was horror-struck by the news so
abruptly told her; it was no time to assert her own blamelessness, nay
she could pardon the poor grief-stricken woman for reproaching her so
bitterly, for insulting her by such cruel, false imputations. The admirer
whose love letters had so greatly annoyed her, whose infatuation had
for some time past been difficult to baffle, had been driven out of his
senses by his unhappy and overmastering passion, and had died leaving
the girl who had loved him to her desolate sorrow.
Had Mrs. Bouvery been less hard and bitter, Christine could have opened
her heart to her, and made her understand how distorted a view of the
case she had taken; as it was they parted almost in silence and she
could only resolve to find out a little more about the daughter and if
possible to write to her later on.
But for many days after that the story haunted her and made her
miserable. Afterwards too, in her depression, the thought of Mrs.
Bouvery’s cruel words returned to her.
“Had I not been a solitary woman she would never have dared to attack
me like that,” she reflected with tears in her eyes. “A woman without a
protector is at the mercy of anyone who chooses to torment her. Were
I not worse than widowed, Lord Rosscourt and men of his type would be
unable to persecute me with attentions that are insults. They would not
dare to send me letters which one can hardly glance at without feeling
defiled.”
It happened that among her best and most trusted friends was a certain
literary man named Conway Sartoris. She had known him and the sensible
middle-aged sister who kept house for him for the last ten years, and
they had been the first to discern how very miserable was her married
life. During the difficult years that followed her separation their
entirely unaltered friendship had been a great comfort to her. Conway
Sartoris was not only a brilliant writer and an advanced thinker, but a
most delightful companion, full of dry humour, and shrewd common sense;
while his sister had a genuine affection for Christine and always gave
her a warm welcome at their pretty old-fashioned house in Westminster.
She was dining with them on the following Sunday and found it a great
relief to tell them of the tragedy with which so unwittingly she had
become connected, and of Mrs. Bouvery’s interview.
Alas! in seeking comfort she only met with fresh trouble. For the next
evening on her return from the theatre she found a long letter from
Conway Sartoris in which he frankly admitted that his friendship had
some time ago deepened into love, that he was sure her life would always
be difficult and perilous without a protector, and that he would do his
utmost to make her happy. In blank dismay Christine read his proposal
that they should enter into a union which would virtually be a marriage;
he quoted instances in which such unions had been after a time condoned
by society and had proved eminently happy, and he argued very plausibly
that the best way to bring about a speedy reform of the present unjust
law under which she suffered was to add another instance to the cases in
which it had been deliberately and conscientiously broken.
His pleading, as far as he himself was concerned, proved of course quite
useless. Christine could only write in reply that her friendship and
respect for him must always remain unaltered, but that her heart was
still with the lover of her youth--the man who through her own weakness
and ambition had been so cruelly sacrificed years ago.
To this she received a very straightforward and kindly answer, and
Conway Sartoris entreated her not to allow what had passed in any way
to affect their friendship. But this was more easily said than done. His
avowal had put an end to the perfect ease and rest of their intercourse
and she felt more than ever alone in the world.
Another result of this episode was that his arguments were constantly
recurring to her mind. Surely there was great force in the suggestion
he had brought forward in his masterly clear-headed way? Were there not
bound to be exceptions to every rule? Was not Hugh Macneillie’s notion
of obedience even to an unjust law, because it was the law of the land,
an overstrained nicety? It might be a counsel of perfection, but surely
it could not be the actual duty of each citizen? Hugh had such an
element of austerity about his life; kind and genial and tolerant as
he was with regard to others his own notions of right and wrong were
so rigid. He was certainly old-fashioned, not up to date, not able to
accommodate himself to _fin de siècle_ conditions.
“I will not let him wreck his life!” she thought, pacing with agitated
steps up and down her room. “My heart is breaking for want of him, and
he is ill and alone. What do I care for the tongues of narrow-minded,
conventional people who know nothing of our real story? ‘Let them rave!’
He is mine and I am his. All the unfair unequal laws in the world can’t
alter that.”
Just then she happened to notice a letter upon the mantel-piece which by
some oversight she had left unopened.
“What is this?” she exclaimed glancing through it. “An invitation from
Mrs. Hereford to lunch on Sunday, to meet Ralph Denmead and his wife?
Yes, I will go, from them I may at any rate learn how Hugh is.”
Her stay at Monkton Verney had led to her becoming a friend of the
Herefords; she had an unbounded respect for them both, and at their
house in Grosvenor Square she invariably enjoyed herself. Charlie too,
liked nothing better than to go there with her, and there was something
in the atmosphere of the household which was curiously refreshing and
invigorating. They were busy people but they never bored others with
their work, and always seemed to have time for merriment, and for keen
appreciation of the interests of their friends.
On this Sunday however she was more taken up with the Denmeads than with
her host and hostess. There was something in the mere happiness of the
young husband and wife that appealed to her, and she had a long talk
with them and heard all that she craved to know. Macneillie, they judged
by his letters, was still far from well, and even the visit to his own
country had failed to do him much good. He was to go on the following
day to Stratford and for the sake of quiet would stay just outside the
town at a curious old-fashioned house called The Swan’s Nest. He would
remain there probably until the Birthday week when they were to rejoin
him for the performances at the Memorial Theatre.
Then Evereld had much to say about the Manager’s kindness to them,
of Dick’s devotion to him, and all the many little details which her
womanly instinct taught her would be to Christine what bread is to
the starving. It was all told naturally and simply and as a matter of
course, there was never any uncomfortable consciousness that they knew
all about her past and could guess how bitter was her present. It was
only when thinking it over afterwards that Christine felt sure that the
Denmeads knew the whole truth, and she loved them for their tact and
consideration.
But all through the night that followed she was haunted by the thought
of Hugh Macneillie ill and alone, unable even to find comfort in his
mother’s society,--beyond the cure even of his native land.
It is during wakeful nights that burdens usually grow unbearable. And
Christine had now reached the point when every consideration but the one
prevailing idea is crowded out of the mind.
“I cannot let him suffer any more,” she thought. “At all costs this
intolerable state of things must and shall be ended. I am free all this
week, free till Easter Monday. To-morrow I will go down to Leamington
with Charlie and the servants, and the next day I will see him.”