_Tom going to be married, was set upon by one-and-twenty Ruffians in
Armour, and of the havock he made amongst them, etc._
In regard Tom had been hinder’d by these troopers, he delay’d his
visit to his Lady till next day, and then coming to her, gave her a
full account of what had happen’d; she was pleased at heart at this
wonderful relation, knowing it was safe for a woman to marry with a
man who was able to defend her against all assaults whatsoever, and
such a one she found Tom to be. The day of marriage was accordingly
appointed, friends and relations invited. Yet secret malice which is
never satisfied without sweet revenge, had like to have prevented the
solemnity for having three miles to go to church, where they were
to be married, the aforesaid Gentleman had provided a second time
Ruffians in armour to the number of twenty-one, he himself being then
present either to destroy the life of Tom, or put them into strange
consternation; however thus it happened, in a lonesome place they
bolted out upon them, making their first assault upon Tom, and with
a Speer gave him a slight wound, at which his love and the rest of
the women shrieked and cry’d like persons out of their wits, Tom
endeavour’d all that he could to pacify them, saying, stand you still
and I will show you pleasant sport. And with that he catch’d a back
sword from the side of a Gentleman in his own company, with which he
so bravely behaved himself that at every stroke he cut off a joint,
loth he was to touch the life of any, but aiming at their legs and
arms, he lopt them off so fast, that in less than a quarter of an hour,
there was not one in the company but what had lost a limb, the green
grass being stained with their purple gore, and the ground strew’d
with legs and arms, as ’tis with tiles from the tops of the Houses
after a dreadful storm. His Love and the rest of the company standing
all the while as joyful spectators, laughing one at another, saying,
What a company of cripples has he made, as it were in the twinkling of
an eye! Yes, quoth Tom, I believe that for every drop of blood that I
lost, I have made the Rascals pay me a limb as a just tribute. This
done, he stept to a Farmer’s hard by, and hired there a servant giving
him twenty shillings to carry these cripples home to their respective
habitations in his dung-cart; and then did he hasten with his love to
the church, where they were married, and then returned home, where they
were heartily merry with their friends, after their fierce and dreadful
encounter.