_Tom after his old Mother’s death went a wooing; and how he served a
young Gallant who affronted him before his Mistress._
Tom’s mother being dead, and he left alone in a large and spacious
house, he found himself strange and uncouth, therefore he began to
consider with himself that it would not be amiss to seek out for a
wife; and hearing of a young rich widow, not far from Cambridge, to her
he went, and made his addresses: and at the first coming she seem’d to
shew him much favour and countenance; but between this and his coming
again, she had given some entertainment to a more genteel and airy
spark, who happened likewise to come while honest Tom was there the
second time; he look’d wishfully at Tom, and he star’d as wishfully
at him again; at last the young spark began with abuseful language to
affront Tom, telling him he was such a great lubberly whelp, adding
that such a one as he should not pretend to make love to a Lady, as he
was but a Brewer’s servant. Scoundrel quoth Tom better words should
become you, and if you do not mend your manners, you shall not fail
to feel my sharp correction. At which the young Spark challenged him
forth into the back yard; for, as he said, he did not question but to
make a fool of Tom in a trice. Into the yard they both walk together,
the young spark with a naked sword, and Tom with neither stick nor
staff in his hand, nor any other weapon. What says the spark, have you
nothing to defend yourself? well I shall the sooner dispatch you. Which
said, he ran furiously forward, making a pass at Tom, which he put by,
and then wheeling round to his backside, Tom gave him such a swinging
kick on the breech, which sent the spark like a Crow up into the Air,
from whence he fell upon the ridge of a thatcht house, and then came
down into a large fish pond, and had been certainly drown’d if it had
not been for a poor shepherd who was walking that way, and seeing
him float upon the water, dragged him out with his hook, and home he
returned like a drowned Rat; while Tom enjoy’d the kind embraces of his
fair Mistress.
[Illustration]