OSTEOPATHY AS RELATED TO SOME OTHER FAKES.
Sure Shot Rheumatism Cure--Regular Practitioner's
Discomfiture--Medicines Alone Failed to Cure Rheumatism--Osteopathy
Relieves Rheumatic and Neuralgic Pains--"Move Things"--"Pop" Stray
Cervical Vertebrae--Find Something Wrong and Put it Right--Terrible
Neck-Wrenching, Bone-Twisting Ordeal.
A discussion of graft in connection with doctoring would not be complete
if nothing were said about the traveling medicine faker. Every summer our
towns are visited by smooth-tongued frauds who give free shows on the
streets. They harangue the people by the hour with borrowed spiels, full
of big medical terms, and usually full of abuse of regular practitioners,
which local physicians must note with humiliation is too often received by
people without resentment and often with applause.
Only last summer I was standing by while one of these grafters was making
his spiel, and gathering dollars by the pocketful for a "sure shot"
rheumatism cure. His was a _sure_ cure, doubly guaranteed; no cure, money
all refunded (if you could get it). A physician standing near laughed
rather a mirthless laugh, and remarked that Barnum was right when he said,
"The American people like to be humbugged." When the medical man left, a
man who had just become the happy possessor of enough of the wonderful
herb to make a quart of the rheumatism router, remarked: "He couldn't be a
worse humbug than that old duffer. He doctored me for six weeks, and told
me all the time that his medicine would cure me in a few days. I got worse
all the time until I went to Dr. ----, who told me to use a sack of hot
bran mash on my back, and I was able to get around in two days."
In this man's remarks there is an explanation of the reason the crowd
laughed when they heard the quack abusing the regular practitioner, and of
the reason the people handed their hard-earned dollars to the grafter at
the rate of forty in ten minutes, by actual count. If all doctors were
honest and told the people what all authorities have agreed upon about
rheumatism, _i. e._, that internal medication does it little good, and the
main reliance must be on external application, traveling and patent
medicine fakers who make a specialty of rheumatism cure would be "put out
of business," and there would be eliminated one source of much loss of
faith in medicine.
I learned by experience as an Osteopath that many people lose faith in
medicine and in the honesty of physicians because of the failure of
medicine to cure rheumatism where the physician had promised a cure.
Patients afflicted with other diseases get well anyway, or the sexton puts
them where they cannot tell people of the physician's failure to cure
them. The rheumatic patient lives on, and talks on of "Doc's" failure to
stop his rheumatic pains. All doctors know that rheumatism is the
universal disease of our fickle climate. If it were not for rheumatic
pains, and neuralgic pains that often come from nerves irritated by
contracted muscles, the Osteopath in the average country town would get
more lonesome than he does. People who are otherwise skeptical concerning
the merits of Osteopathy will admit that it seems rational treatment for
rheumatism.
Yet this is a disease that Osteopathy of the specific-adjustment,
bone-setting, nerve-inhibiting brand has little beneficial effect upon.
All the Osteopathic treatments I ever gave or saw given in cases of
rheumatism that really did any good, were long, laborious massages. The
medical man who as "professor" in an Osteopathic college said, "When the
Osteopath with his _vast_ knowledge of anatomy gets hold of a case of
torticollis he inhibits the nerves and cures it in five minutes," was
talking driveling rot.
I have seen some of the best Osteopaths treat wry-neck, and the work they
did was to knead and stretch and pull, which by starting circulation and
working out soreness, gradually relieved the patient. A hot application,
by expanding tissues and stimulating circulation, would have had the same
effect, perhaps more slowly manifested.
To call any Osteopathic treatment massage is always resented as an insult
by the guardians of the science. What is the Osteopath doing, who rolls
and twists and pulls and kneads for a full hour, if he isn't giving a
massage treatment? Of course, it sounds more dignified, and perhaps helps
to "preserve the purity of Osteopathy as a separate system," to call it
"reducing subluxations," "correcting lesions," "inhibiting and
stimulating" nerves. The treatment also acts better as a placebo to call
it by these names.
As students we were taught that all Osteopathic movements were primarily
to adjust something. Some of us worried for fear we wouldn't know when the
adjusting was complete. We were told that all the movements we were taught
to make were potent to "move things," so we worried again for fear we
might move something in the wrong direction. We were assured, however,
that since the tendency was always toward the normal, all we had to do was
to agitate, stir things up a bit, and the thing out of place would find
its place. How _specific_! How scientific!
We were told that when in the midst of our "agitation" we heard something
"pop," we could be sure the thing out of place had gone back. When a
student had so mastered the great bone-setting science as to be able to
"pop" stray cervical vertebrae he was looked upon with envy by the fellows
who had not joined the association for protection against suits for
malpractice, and did not know just how much of an owl they could make of a
man and not break his neck.
The fellow who lacked clairvoyant powers to locate straying things, and
could not always find the "missing link" of the spine, could go through
the prescribed motions just the same. If he could do it with sufficient
facial contortions to indicate supreme physical exertion, and at the same
time preserve the look of serious gravity and professional importance of a
quack medical doctor giving _particular_ directions for the dosing of the
placebo he is leaving, he might manage to make a sound vertebra "pop."
This, with his big show of doing something, has its effect on the
patient's mind anyway.
We were taught that Osteopathy was applied common sense, that it was all
reasonable and rational, and simply meant "finding something wrong and
putting it right." Some of us thought it only fair to tell our patients
what we were trying to do, and what we did it for. There is where we made
our big mistake. To say we were relaxing muscles, or trying to lift and
tone up a rickety chest wall, or straighten a warped spine, was altogether
too simple. It was like telling a man that you were going to give him a
dose of oil for the bellyache when he wanted an operation for
appendicitis. It was too common, and some would go to an Osteopath who
could find vertebra and ribs and hips displaced, something that would make
the community "sit up and take notice." If one has to be sick, why not
have something worth while?
Where Osteopathy has always been so administered that people have the idea
that it means to find things out of place and put them back, it is a
gentleman's job, professional, scientific and genteel. Men have been known
to give twenty to forty treatments a day at two dollars per treatment. In
many communities, however, the adjustment idea has so degenerated that to
give an Osteopathic treatment is no job for a high collar on a hot day. To
strip a hard-muscled, two-hundred-pound laborer down to a
perspiration-soaked and scented undershirt, and manipulate him for an hour
while he has every one of his five hundred work-hardened muscles rigidly
set to protect himself from the terrible neck-wrenching, bone-twisting
ordeal he has been told an Osteopathic treatment would subject him to--I
say when you have tried that sort of a thing for an hour you will conclude
that an Osteopathic treatment is no job for a kid-gloved dandy nor for a
lily-fingered lady, as it has been so glowingly pictured.
I know the brethren will say that true Osteopathy does not give an hour's
shotgun treatment, but finds the lesion, corrects it, collects its two
dollars, and quits until "day after to-morrow," when it "corrects" and
_collects_ again as long as there is anything to co--llect!
I practiced for three years in a town where people made their first
acquaintance with Osteopathy through the treatments of a man who
afterwards held the position of demonstrator of Osteopathic "movements"
and "manipulations" in one of the largest and boastedly superior schools
of Osteopathy. The people certainly should have received correct ideas of
Osteopathy from him. He was followed in the town by a bright young fellow
from "Pap's" school, where the genuine "lesion," blown-in-the-bottle brand
of Osteopathy has always been taught. This fellow was such an excellent
Osteopath that he made enough money in two years to enable him to quit
Osteopathy forever. This he did, using the money he had gathered as an
Osteopath to take him through a medical college.
I followed these two shining lights who I supposed had established
Osteopathy on a correct basis. I started in to give specific treatments as
I had been taught to do; that is, to hunt for the lesion, correct it if I
found it, and quit, even if I had not been more than fifteen or twenty
minutes at it. I found that in many cases my patients were not satisfied.
I did not know just what was the matter at first, and lost some desirable
patients (lost their patronage, I mean--they were not in much danger of
dying when they came to me). I was soon enlightened, however, by some more
outspoken than the rest. They said I did not "treat as long as that other
doctor," and when I had done what I thought was indicated at times a
patient would say, "You didn't give me that neck-twisting movement," or
that "leg-pulling treatment." No matter what I thought was indicated, I
had to give all the movements each time that had ever been given before.
A physician who has had to dose out something he knew would do no good,
just to satisfy the patient and keep him from sending for another doctor
who he feared might give something worse, can appreciate the violence done
a fellow's conscience as he administers those wonderfully curative
movements. He cannot, however, appreciate the emotions that come from the
strenuous exertion over a sweaty body in a close room on a July day.
Incidentally, this difference in the physical exertion necessary to get
the same results has determined a good many to quit Osteopathy and take up
medicine. A young man who had almost completed a course in Osteopathy told
me he was going to study medicine when he had finished Osteopathy, as he
had found that giving "treatments was too d----d hard work."