Preparations for Departure.
When I heard them speak so kindly I was heartily pleased, and so
touched that I could not restrain my tears. Though their advice was so
reasonable and pleasing I was not inclined to take it immediately, and
begged them earnestly to deliver me over to the Government so that no
evil might befall them. They would not listen to me.
At length the nun said: “As it is of no use to argue here, is it not
better to leave the matter to the judgment of Ti Rinpoche? and if
according to his judgment there is no evil to be feared for you and for
us, then you can present the letter as you wish. We are arguing in vain
unless we can foretell the result of the matter.”
I was then obliged to tell them all about the ‘silent contemplation’
and its agreement with the judgment of Ti Rinpoche. When I told this
their faces cleared and the ex-Minister said with a smile:
“If this is the case, our anxiety and argument are useless. The only
course to be taken now is to leave this country immediately. It is of
course of no use to speak of binding you with a rope. You have spoken
such things because you thought of us, but it is all in vain. If Ti
Rinpoche said your departure was better for yourself and ourselves, it
is a sure thing, and if his judgment agrees with yours it is then the
will of the Buḍḍha, the breach of which will cause you certain evil.
Therefore proceed at once. Though we cannot protect you on your way, if
it becomes public and some one pursues you, we will try to find some
means for your escape.”
Their unselfish kindness toward me I shall ever remember. I retired
with tears back to my room, and then I packed all my sacred books and
other writings which I had gathered and took them to the apothecary’s
and said to him:
“I intend to go to Calcutta on a certain mission. I also want to make
some purchases there. If I can obtain sufficient money from home to buy
the books I want, I will soon be back. But if I cannot get the money at
Calcutta I must return home and get it, and will come back next year or
the year after next. I cannot say when I can come back, but at any rate
I must start immediately. But the thing that troubles me most is the
despatch of my baggage. I wish to carry these books home and show them
to my fellow-countrymen. If I take all of them they must be packed and
sent on a horse, or by some other means. Can you find any good way of
doing this for me?”
Apothecary Li Tsu-shu was a man who believed in me so much that he
would do anything for my sake. If I had not had such a friend, my case
would have been undoubtedly hopeless. He was faithful to the end; if
his confidence in me had not been so strong, he would not have done
anything for me, or he might even have betrayed me to my undoing. He
seemed to know that I was a Japanese, for, once when he came to my
room, he saw some of the Japanese books in my library, and after that
he seemed partly convinced that I was not a Chinese. It was when people
began to talk much about my nationality that I saw him and told him
that I was going home. He knew it was dangerous to have anything to do
with me, but he willingly agreed to my request, and told me that he
knew a Chinese merchant who was from the same town as himself, and a
good friend of his; that I might go with him, for he was leaving for
Calcutta on business in four days, and that as he had probably a few
horses without freight he could take my things at a smaller charge than
anyone else. The apothecary was also kind enough to promise me that
he would go to see the merchant and talk over the matter. As we were
talking thus, the apothecary saw a man entering his house. He ran to
him and said:
“We have just been talking of you. Lucky to see you here! Could you not
take about two horses’ load to Darjeeling for this gentleman?”
As I saw the man I found that he was an old acquaintance of mine; I had
often bought musk and other things from him and made him some medicine
to sell in his store. He knew well that I was honest in transactions,
and would have acceded to my request with pleasure. But he said that he
could not take charge of my luggage, for he had no extra horses, but
that he knew a man who was going to Calcutta in four or five days, and
who would arrive at the city earlier than himself, and that as this
man was carrying the salary of soldiers to the Castle of Tomo by the
order of the Chinese Amban his horses were not loaded and might take
my baggage, but that probably I must pay him more money. I said that I
would willingly pay extra money if the baggage would arrive earlier,
and asked him to go to that man to get the business settled. I was very
glad to have everything thus arranged.
It was about the evening when we parted, and I returned to the
monastery at Sera. The next thing to be done was to pack up my
religious books and bring them to Lhasa. That night I was so busy
packing up the books that I had no time for sleep, and the next day
before noon I was able to send away all the packages to the druggist’s
in Lhasa. This twenty-fifth day was fortunately the best for such a
purpose. On any ordinary day there were always six or seven thousand
priests in the temple, and if I were engaged in packing my things, it
would have attracted their attention, and caused many enquiries. But
on that day there were only two or three men in each boarding-house.
Therefore though I was busy all the night in packing and the next
morning in sending the things to Lhasa, it caused no suspicion. But
there was Chamba-ise, a little fellow who had served me for a long
time. I could not leave him without doing something for him. I used to
send him to a tutor for study while I was absent, and he would come
back when I returned and draw water, make tea and do various other
services for me. Now that I was leaving the Lamasery I could not leave
him without notice. In the first place I must dismiss him, otherwise
he would certainly think it strange to see me taking out my books. So
I told this boy and a few others that I must go on a pilgrimage to
Tsa-ri, as a younger brother of the ex-Minister lived there and had
invited me. Tsa-ri is called the second Sacred Place in Tibet. In Tibet
there are the three Sacred Places; the first is Kang Rinpoche or Mount
Kailāsa in the north-western plain; the second is Tsa-ri, a peak in
the Himālayas in the south-east which forms the frontier of Assam; the
third is the highest mountain in the world, the famous Gaurīshānkara
or Chomo Lhari, often called Mount Everest. As to the boy, I told him
that it would probably take me four months to go there and come back,
and that I would leave him money for four months’ tuition and board.
But I was afraid a little boy like him would use the money all at once
if it were handed him directly. So I took the money and deposited it
with his teacher. To a man who had been my security since I entered the
Sera seminary I sent a suit of priestly garments and some money; my
tutor whose lectures I attended and many others were all presented with
some money or things as souvenirs. When all these preparations were
finished, it was past four o’clock in the afternoon. Then I went to the
Great Hall of Je Tatsang to which I belonged, lighted butter-lamps,
made some offerings, and in front of the Image of the Shākya Buḍḍha I
read my prayer of farewell, which ran as follows:
“Here in the Great Hall of Je Tatsang of the Sera Temple, Tibet, I,
Ekai Jinkō, prostrate myself before the Buḍḍha our benevolent Master
and pray. It is with great sorrow and regret that I see that the
different deeds of human beings have caused the different existences of
Buḍḍha among the believers: for the way to Buḍḍha is originally open
to all and accessible to everyone. I, Ekai Jinkō, bound by the chain
of deeds done in the previous world, have not been able to accomplish
the union and conformity of the Japanese and Tibetan Buḍḍhists, and now
am obliged to leave the country. May the good cause of the present day
be the beginning of success, and of the union of the Japanese and the
Tibetan Buḍḍhists at some future time, and also of illuminating the
whole world with the light of Buḍḍhism.” And calling upon the name of
Buḍḍha ten times together with an equal number of salutations I left
the temple.
Coming down the steps of the Hall and passing the paved yard to the
left, there is a descent of long and steep stone steps which leads to
the front of the beautiful gate of Choe-ra (a Ḍharma garden) where the
student priests are catechised. The premises of the Choe-ra, which are
enclosed by white low walls, are very spacious. Here and there elms and
willow-trees are planted tastefully, and magnolia flowers perfume the
air in their season. A clear stream, which comes down from the rocky
hill on the other side of the buildings, runs through the premises, and
thus adds much to the beauty of the place, especially when the setting
sun shines upon the stream, as it was then doing. This was the seat I
loved best in Lhasa, and I could not leave it without paying a visit
to this favorite resort of mine. When I came here it was late in the
afternoon, and all was quiet while I roamed about the place. Here my
heart began to hesitate again. Though I had already bidden farewell
to the Buḍḍha, thinking I should leave this country, yet I confess my
determination was not strong enough.
“Must I now leave,” thought I, “this quiet land of Buḍḍha to which
I have become attached; must I steal out of this beautiful country
without telling who I am, just as a spy would do? Are there no means
to say that I am a Japanese, without causing harm to others? Death
comes to all sooner or later. Why should I not run the risk of death,
presenting the letter to the Pope? When I have made such a good
composition, how sorry I am not to show it to him!”
While I was thus confused in my mind, suddenly a voice ‘Giokpo peb’ (go
back quickly) was heard from somewhere about the Choe-ra. I wondered
who spoke those words, and to whom, and looked round, but nothing could
be seen but the green leaves of the trees shining in the rays of the
setting sun. Certainly it could not be a bird’s voice, and I thought
it must be only my fancy. When I went on only two or three steps, the
same “Giokpo peb” but in a louder and clearer tone reached my ear.
Thinking somebody was talking to me, I cried out to ask who it was,
looked about, and went round and behind the Choe-ra whence I thought
the voice came, but no one was to be found. Struck with a strange
feeling I was going in the direction of my boarding-place when I heard
the same strange voice again and again. This strange voice had much to
do with my final determination to go back quickly; and when I was fully
resolved the voice was heard no more. I hastened to my room and fetched
a few things left there, and went and lodged at the druggist’s in Lhasa.
[Illustration: A MYSTERIOUS VOICE IN THE GARDEN OF SERA.]
The next day was spent in collecting the books which I had asked many
booksellers to secure for me, and for some of which I had paid in
advance. By the evening I had obtained a large number. The following
day (May 26th) was employed in the same business as the day before. In
the afternoon, Li Tsu-shu made some boxes for me to put my things in.
He was also kind enough to get me three sheets of yak-hide in which to
wrap my boxes. In Lhasa many yaks are killed for food after two o’clock
in the afternoon every day. The pelt fresh from the butchery is much
used for packing and shipping goods. Things are wrapped in it while it
is yet soft with the fur inside and the still bloody and greasy side
out, and then stitched. When it gets dry it is hard and strong, and
well serves to protect the contents.
When all was ready it was the 27th of May. As the next day was the
appointed day on which I could hire a horse from the Chinese merchant
and start with him, I went to take my leave of the ex-Minister. I
thanked him for the great favors I had for so long received from him,
and he gave me several hints and suggestions for my journey. I borrowed
a suit of priestly garments from him, for all my suits were packed up
together with other things. He also gave me a hundred rupees, telling
me to accept it as an acknowledgement of the favors I had done him.
Though I thought the thank-offering ought to have been from my side,
I was in much need of money, and so I accepted his present with many
thanks and returned to the apothecary’s.
As I came back I learned from him that the merchant who was to go
with me on the following day would not accompany me. I must tell how
this unexpected hindrance came about on the eve of my departure. The
Secretary of the Amban, of whom I spoke before, was a great friend of
the merchant whom I expected to accompany. Now the Secretary, who was
already suspecting me, told the merchant that I was not a Chinese, but
must be a Japanese; that though he could not find the exact reason
why I came to Tibet, it might be possible that I was spying in the
service of the British Government, for now-a-days nobody would be so
much devoted to Buḍḍhism as to come to Tibet as I declared I had done,
and that if his suspicion proved to be true after my departure with
the merchant the latter would have his head out off. The merchant was
surprised at hearing such a story from a man who was regarded as the
most learned and experienced among the Chinese in Tibet, and of course
believed it, so it was not possible in any way whatever to persuade
him to take charge of my baggage.
But after telling this story, Li Tsu-shu told me that he might probably
find some means to send off my baggage if I did not mind more expense,
by making a special application to the servants of the Chinese Legation
and calling the goods his drugs. I asked him to do so, and as to my
own journey, as I needed a coolie to carry my personal luggage day and
night, I asked him to hire one for me. The druggist went off directly
to negotiate with them, but came back disappointed saying that the men
whom he intended to see were not to be found.
Early the next morning (the 28th) the druggist went out to see his
country-men who were going to the place called Tomo or Chumbi in
Tibetan and Sui-shi in Chinese, and arranged with them to carry
my goods to the place. I paid them the very high fare for the
transportation in advance. He sent my luggage to the Chinese Legation
that night. As for my coolie, Mrs. Li Tsu-shu secured a man called
Tenba after trying her best. So I made all preparations for my
departure for India by their kindness. I could feel certain of starting
from Lhasa on the very next day, the 29th of May (the 20th of April
according to the Tibetan calendar).