"I am bright but not quick. In short I am slow. When you
inf--ex--ci--well--asked me in Oxford what I was writing my Statement
for, I suppose you saw what I only just now see,--that a large part of
it was not necessary. I had in mind the justification of my mode as
well as of my claim, and for that the whole case needed to be unfolded.
But since that letter was found, my mind has somehow clarified--the
brown sugar has all turned white, and if you want to eat me while I am
sweet now is your time.
"Now then, as you are a man and inexperienced, let me briefly jot down
for you an outline of my proper mode of defense.
"The brief is a perfect Troy in a nutshell and all you need to plume
your wings with. Read that in the Valley of Decision and immediately
walk across the room to the corner where H. & P. will be cowering, and
shake your fists in their face. They will reply that they do not make
one author the criterion for another, whereat you will take a flying
leap over all the intervening pages to the letter which says, 'This
arrangement we now make with all our authors.'
"They will then bring forward their books to show that they cannot pay
me more without starving themselves. You will immediately rule that out
of court as not germane to the case, and the arbitrators will at once
award me three thousand dollars due, and three thousand more damages,
which you will bring me in gold to Zoar, and I will buy two pounds of
New York candy and give a party in honor of the event. I don't see why
the rest of the Statement need to be brought in at all unless, first,
"They deny that they have not made the same arrangements with all their
authors. If they do, you must turn to my declaration and proof; or,
second,
"They say that my mode of making my claim was so offensive that they
could not notice it. This I have heard of in substance privately. If
they do this then I insist upon the whole Statement's being laid before
them."