FORTIER EXECUTES HIS THREAT.
Catherine piously closed her mother's eyes, with her hand and then
with her lips, while Mother Clement lit the candles and arranged other
paraphernalia.
Pitou took charge of the other details. Reluctant to visit Father
Fortier, with whom he stood on delicate ground, he ordered the
mortuary mass of the sacristan, and engaged the gravedigger and the
coffin-bearers.
Then he went over to Haramont to have his company of militia notified
that the wife of the Hero of the People would be buried at eleven on
the morrow. It was not an official order but an invitation. But it
was too well known what Billet had done for this Revolution which was
turning all heads and enflaming all hearts; what danger Billet was even
then running for the sake of the masses--for this invitation not to be
regarded as an order: all the volunteer soldiers promised their captain
that they would be punctual.
Pitou brought the joiner with him, who carried the coffin. He had all
the heartfelt delicacy rare in the lowborn, and hid the man and his bier
in the outhouse so Catherine should not see it, and to spare her from
hearing the sound of the hammering of the nails, he entered the dwelling
alone.
Catherine was still praying by the dead, which had been shrouded by two
neighbors.
Pitou suggested that she should go out for a change of air; then for the
child's sake, upon which she proposed he should take the little one. She
must have had great confidence in Pitou to trust her boy to him for a
time.
"He won't come," reported Pitou, presently. "He is crying."
She kissed her mother, took her child by the hand and walked away with
Pitou. The joiner carried in the coffin when she was gone.
He took her out on the road to Boursonnes, where she went half a league
without saying a word to Pitou, listening to the voices of the woodland
which talked to her heart.
When she got home, the work was done, and she understood why Ange had
insisted on her going out. She thanked him with an eloquent look. She
prayed for a long while by the coffin, understanding now that she had
but one of the two friends, left, her mother and Pitou, when Isidore
died.
"You must come away," said the peasant, "or I must go and hire a nurse
for Master Isidore."
"You are right, Pitou," she said. "My God, how good Thou art to me--and
how I love you, Pitou!"
He reeled and nearly fell over backwards. He leaned up against the wall,
choking, for Catherine had said that she loved him! He did not deceive
himself about the kind of love, but any kind was a great deal for him.
Finishing her prayer, she rose and went with a slow step to lean on his
shoulder. He put his arm round her to sustain her; she allowed this.
Turning at the door, she breathed: "Farewell, mother!" and went forth.
Pitou stopped her at her own door. She began to understand Pitou.
"Why, Miss Catherine," he stammered, "do you not think it is a good time
to leave the farm?"
"I shall only leave when my mother shall no longer be here," she
replied.
She spoke with such firmness that he saw it was an irrevocable resolve.
"When you do go, you know you have two homes, Father Clovis' and my
house."
Pitou's "house" was his sitting room and bedroom.
"I thank you," she replied, her smile and nod meaning that she accepted
both offers.
She went into her room without troubling about the young man, who had
the knack of finding some burrow.
At ten next day all the farmers for miles around flocked to the farm.
The Mayor came, too. At half after ten up marched the Haramont National
Guards, with colors tied up in black, without a man being missing.
Catherine, dressed in black, with her boy in mourning, welcomed all
comers and it must be said that there was no feeling for her but of
respect.
At eleven, some three hundred persons were gathered at the farm. The
priest and his attendants alone were absent. Pitou knew Father Fortier
and he guessed that he who had refused the sacraments to the dying
woman, would withhold the funeral service under the pretext that she had
died unconscious. These reflections, confided to Mayor Longpre, produced
a doleful impression. While they were looking at each other in silence,
Maniquet, whose opinions were anti-religious, called out:
"If Abbé Fortier does not like to say mass, we will get on without it."
But it was evidently a bold act, although Voltaire and Rousseau were in
the ascendancy.
"Gentlemen," suggested the mayor, "let us proceed to Villers Cotterets
where we will have an explanation."
The procession moved slowly past Catherine and her little boy, and was
going down the road, when the rear guards heard a voice behind them. It
was a call and they turned.
A man on a horse was riding from the side of Paris.
Part of the rider's face was covered with black bandages; he waved his
hat in his hand and signalled that he wanted the party to stop.
Pitou had turned like the others.
"Why, it is Billet," he said, "good! I should not like to be in Father
Fortier's skin."
At the name everybody halted. He advanced rapidly and as he neared all
were able to recognize him as Pitou had done.
On reaching the head of the line, Billet jumped off his horse, threw the
bridle on its neck, and, after saying a lusty: "Good day and thank ye,
citizens!" he took his proper place which Pitou had in his absence held
to lead the mourners.
A stable boy took away the horse.
Everybody looked curiously at the farmer. He had grown thinner and much
paler. Part of his face and around his left eye had retained the black
and blue tint of extravasated blood. His clenched teeth and frowning
brows indicated sullen rage which waited the time for a vent.
"Do you know what has happened?" inquired Pitou.
"I know all," was the reply.
As soon as Gilbert had told his patient of the state of his wife, he had
taken a cabriolet as far as Nanteuil. As the horse could go no farther,
though Billet was weak, he had mounted a post horse and with a change at
Levignan, he reached his farm as we know.
In two words Mother Clement had told the story. He remounted the horse
and stopped the procession which he descried on turning a wall.
Silent and moody before, the party became more so since this figure of
hate led the way.
At Villers Cotterets a waiting party fell into the line. As the cortege
went up the street, men, women and children flowed out of the dwellings,
saluted Billet, who nodded, and incorporated themselves in the ranks.
It numbered five hundred when it reached the church. It was shut, as
Pitou had anticipated. They halted at the door.
Billet had become livid; his expression had grown more and more
threatening.
The church and the town hall adjoined. The player of the bassoon in
the holy building was also janitor at the mayor's, so that he belonged
under the secular and the clerical arm. Questioned by Mayor Longpre, he
answered that Father Fortier had forbidden any retainer of the church to
lend his aid to the funeral. The mayor asked where the keys were, and
was told the beadle had them.
"Go and get the keys," said Billet to Pitou, who opened out his long
compass-like legs and, having been gone five minutes, returned to say:
"Abbé Fortier had the keys taken to his house to be sure the church
should not be opened."
"We must go straight to the priest for them," suggested Maniquet, the
promoter of extreme measures.
"Let us go to the abbé's," cried the crowd.
"It would take too long," remarked Billet: "and when death knocks at a
door, it does not like to wait."
He looked round him. Opposite the church, a house was being built. Some
carpenters had been squaring a joist. Billet walked up and ran his arm
round the beam, which rested on trestles. With one effort he raised it.
But he had reckoned on absent strength. Under the great burden the giant
reeled and it was thought for an instant that he would fall. It was but
a flash; he recovered his balance and smiled terribly; and forward he
walked, with the beam under his arm, with a firm step albeit slow.
He seemed one of those antique battering-rams with which the Caesars
overthrow walls.
He planted himself, with legs set apart, before the door and the
formidable machine began to work. The door was oak with iron fastenings;
but at the third shove, bolts, bars and lock had flown off; the oaken
panels yawned, too.
Billet let the beam drop. It took four men to carry it back to its
place, and not easily.
"Now, mayor, have my poor wife's coffin carried to the midst of the
choir--she never did harm to anybody--and you, Pitou, collect the
beadle, the choirboys and the chanters, while I bring the priest."
Several wished to follow Billet to Father Fortier's house.
"Let me go alone," said he: "maybe what I do is serious and I should
bear my own burden."
This was the second time that the revolutionist had come into conflict
with the son of the church, at a year's interval. Remembering what had
happened before, a similar scene was anticipated.
The rectory door was sealed up like that of the church. Billet looked
round for some beam to be used like the other, but there was nothing of
the sort. The only thing was a stone post, a boundary mark, with which
the children had played so long at "over-ing" that it was loose in the
socket like an old tooth.
The farmer stepped up to it, shook it violently to enlarge its orbit,
and tore it clean out. Then raising it like a Highlander "putting the
stone," he hurled it at the door which flew into shivers.
At the same time as this breach was made, the upper window opened and
Father Fortier appeared, calling on his parishioners with all the power
of his lungs. But the voice of the pastor fell lost, as the flock did
not care to interfere between him and the wolf.
It took Billet some time to break all the doors down between him and his
prey, but in ten minutes, more or less, that was done.
At the end of that time, loud shrieks were heard and by the abbé's most
expressive gestures it was to be surmised that the danger was drawing
nearer and nearer him.
In fact, suddenly was seen to rise behind the priest Billet's pale face,
as his hand launched out and grabbed him by the shoulder.
The priest clutched the window sill; he was of proverbial strength and
it would not be easy for Hercules to make him relax his grip.
Billet passed his arm around the priest as a girdle; straightened
himself on both legs, and with a pull which would uproot an oak, he tore
him away with the snapped wood between his hands.
Farmer and priest, they disappeared within the room, where in the depths
were heard the wailings of the priest, dying away like the bellowing of
a bull carried off by a lion.
In the meanwhile, Pitou had gathered up the trembling church staff, who
hastened to don the vestments, light the candles and incense and prepare
all things for the death mass.
Billet was seen coming, dragging the priest with him at as smart a pace,
though he still made resistance, as if he were alone.
This was not a man, but one of the forces of nature: something like a
torrent or an avalanche; nothing human could withstand him and it took
an element to combat with him.
About a hundred steps from the church, the poor abbé ceased to kick,
completely overpowered.
All stood aside to let the pair go by.
The abbé cast a frightened glance on the door, shivered like a pane of
glass and seeing all his men at their stands whom he had forbidden to
enter the place, he shook his head like one who acknowledges that some
resistless power weighed on the church's ministers if not on itself.
He entered the sacristy and came forth in his robes, with the sacrament
in his hand.
But as he was mounting the altar Billet stretched out his hand.
"Enough, you faulty servant of God," he thundered: "I only attempted to
check your pride, that is all: but I want it known that a sainted woman
like my wife can dispense with the prayers of a hateful and fanatical
priest like you."
As a loud murmur rose under the vaulted ceiling of the fane, he said:
"If this be sacrilege, let it fall on my head."
Turning to the crowd he added: "Citizens, to the cemetery!"
"To the cemetery," cried the concourse which filled not the church alone
but the square in front.
The four bearers passed their muskets under the bier lifting the body
and as they had come without ecclesiastical pomp, such as religion has
devised to accompany man to the grave, they went forth. Billet conducted
the mourners, with six hundred persons following the remains, to the
burial-ground, situated at the end of a lane near Aunt Angelique's
house.
The cemetery-gates were closed but Billet respected the dead; he sent
for the gravedigger who had the key, and Pitou brought it with two
spades.
Fortier had proscribed the dead as unfit for consecrated ground, which
the gravedigger had been ordered not to break for her.
At this last evidence of the priest's hatred for the farmer, a shiver
of menace ran through the gathering: if Billet had had a little of the
gall which the Tartuffes hold, to the amazement of Boileau, he had but
a word to say and the Abbé Fortier would have had that satisfaction of
martyrdom for which he had howled on the day when he refused to say mass
on the Altar of the Country.
But Billet's wrath was that of the people and the lion; he did not
retrace his steps to tear.
He thanked Pitou with a nod, took the key, opened the gates, passed the
coffin in, and following it, was followed by the procession, recruited
by all that could walk.
Arrived where the grave had been marked out before the sexton had the
order not to open the earth, Billet held out his hand to Pitou for one
of the spades.
Thereupon, with uncovered head, Pitou and Billet, amid the citizens
bareheaded likewise, under the devouring July sun dug the resting-place
for this poor creature who, pious and resigned throughout life, would
have been greatly astonished in her lifetime if told what a sensation
her death would cause.
The task lasted an hour without either worker thinking of being
relieved. Meanwhile rope was sought for and was ready.
It was still Billet and Pitou who lowered the coffin into the pit. They
did all so naturally that nobody thought of offering help. It would have
been a sacrilege to have stayed them from carrying out all to the end.
Only at the first clods falling on the coffin, Billet ran his hand over
his eyes and Pitou his sleeve. Then they resolutely shoveled the earth
in. When they had finished, Billet flung the spade far from him and
gripped Pitou by the hand.
"God is my witness," said he, "that I hold in hand all the simple
and grandest virtues on earth: charity, devotion, abnegation,
brotherhood--and that I dedicate my life to these virtues." He held out
his hand over the grave, saying: "God be again my witness that I swear
eternal war against the King who tried to have me murdered; to the
nobles who defamed my daughter; to the priests who refused sepulture to
my wife!"
Turning towards the spectators full of sympathy with this adjuration, he
said:
"Brothers, a new assembly is to be convoked in place of the traitors now
in session; select me to represent you in this new parliament, and you
will see how I keep my oath."
A shout of universal adhesion hailed this suggestion, and at once
over his wife's grave, terrible altar, worthy of the dread vow, the
candidature of Billet was proposed, seconded and carried. After this,
he thanked his fellow citizens for their sympathy in his affliction,
his friendship and his hatred, and each, citizen, countryman, peasant
and forester, went home, carrying in heart that spirit of revolutionary
propaganda to which in their blindness the most deadly weapons were
afforded by those who were to be destroyed by them--priests, nobles and
King!
How Billet kept his oath, with other circumstances which are linked with
his return to Paris in the new Legislative Assembly, will be recorded in
the sequel entitled "THE COUNTESS OF CHARNY."
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Fine, Silky and Handsome Beard and Mustache.
=Freckles and Pimples.=--It gives full directions for the Cure of
Sunburn, Freckles, Pimples, Wrinkles, Warts, etc., so that they can be
entirely removed.
=Cosmetics.=--This chapter, among other things, gives an Analysis of
Perry's Moth and Freckle Lotion, Balm of White Lilies, Hagan's Magnolia
Balm, Laird's Bloom of Youth, Phalon's Enamel, Clark's Restorative for
the Hair, Chevalier's Life for the Hair, Ayer's Hair Vigor, Professor
Wood's Hair Restorative, Hair Restorer America, Gray's Hair Restorative,
Phalon's Vitalia, Ring's Vegetable Ambrosia, Mrs. Allen's World's Hair
Restorer, Hall's Vegetable Sicilian Hair Renewer, Martha Washington Hair
Restorative, etc., etc. (no room for more), showing how the lead, etc.,
in these mixtures causes disease and oftentimes premature death. Price,
25 cents.
=LOVE AND COURTSHIP CARDS.=--Sparking, courting, and lovemaking all
made easy by the use of these cards. They are arranged with such apt
conversation that you will be able to ask the momentous question in such
a delicate manner that the girl will not suspect what you are at. They
may be used by two persons only, or they will make lots of fun for an
evening party of young people. There are sixty cards in all, and each
answer will respond differently to every one of the questions. Price, 30
cents.
=MISS SLIMMENS' BOARDING-HOUSE.=--By the author of "A Bad Boy's Diary."
16mo, 188 pages, with nine illustrations. Complete edition. Paper cover,
25 cents.
=HOUSEWIFE'S TREASURE (THE).=--A manual of information of everything
that relates to household economies. It gives the method of making
Jackson's Universal Washing Compound, which can clean the dirtiest
cotton, linen or woolen clothes in twenty minutes without rubbing or
harming the material. This recipe is being constantly peddled through
the country at $5.00 each, and is certainly worth it. It also tells all
about soap-making at home, so as to make it cost about one-quarter of
what bar soap costs; it tells how to make candles by molding or dipping;
it gives seven methods for destroying rats and mice; how to make healthy
bread without flour (something entirely new); to preserve clothes and
furs from moths; a sure plan for destroying house-flies, cockroaches,
beetles, ants, bedbugs and fleas; all about house cleaning, papering,
etc., and hundreds of other valuable hints just such as housekeepers are
wanting to know. 25 cents.
=HOW TO ENTERTAIN A SOCIAL PARTY.=--A complete selection of Home
Recreations. Profusely illustrated with fine wood-cuts, containing:
Round Games and Forfeit Games; Parlor Magic and Curious Puzzles; Comic
Diversions and Parlor Tricks; Scientific Recreations and Evening
Amusements; The Blue Beard tableaux; Tableaux-vivant for acting; The
play-room; Blind-man's buff; One old ox opening oysters; How do you like
it? when do you like it? and where do you like it? Cross questions and
crooked answers; Cupid's coming; Proverbs; Earth, air and water; Yes and
no; Copenhagen; Hunt the hare, and a thousand other games.
Here is family amusement for the million. Here is parlor or drawing-room
entertainment, night after night, for a whole winter. A young man
with this volume may render himself the _beau ideal_ of a delightful
companion to every party. Price, 25 cents.
=HOW TO WOO AND HOW TO WIN.=--This interesting work contains full and
interesting rules for the etiquette of courtship, with directions
showing how to win the favor of the ladies; how to begin and end a
courtship; and how love-letters should be written. It not only tells
how to win the favor of the ladies, but how to address a lady; Conduct
a courtship; "Pop the Question;" Write love-letters; All about the
marriage ceremony; Bridal chamber; After marriage, etc. Price, 15 cents.
=ODELL'S SYSTEM OF SHORTHAND.=--By which the taking down of sermons,
lectures, trials, speeches, etc., may be easily acquired, without the
aid of a master. By this plan the difficulties of mastering this useful
art are very much lessened, and the time required to attain proficiency
reduced to the least possible limits. Price 15 cents.
=HOW TO TALK AND DEBATE.=--CONTENTS: Introduction; Laws of Conversation;
Listening; Self-possession; Appreciativeness; Conversation, when
confidential; The matter and the manner; Proper subjects; Trifles;
Objectionable subjects; Politics; Rights of women; Wit and humor;
Questions and negatives; Our own hobbies; The voice, how to improve;
Speaking one's mind; Public speaking; How to make a speech; Opening a
debate; Division of the subject; The affirmative; The reply, etc., etc.
A really valuable book, and one that every man and woman, boy and girl
should possess. 15 cents.
=LIFE IN THE BACKWOODS.=--A Guide to the successful Hunting and Trapping
of all kinds of Animals. It gives the right season for trapping; how to
make, set and bait all kinds of traps; traps for minks, weasels, skunks,
hawks, owls, gophers, birds, squirrels, musk-rats, foxes, rabbits,
raccoons, etc.; how to make and use bird lime. It gives the English
secrets for catching alive all kinds of birds; it tells how to know the
true value of skins, as well as how to skin all animals; deodorize,
stretch, and cure them; to dress and tan skins, furs and leather; to tan
with or without the wool or hair; to skin and stuff birds; baits and
hooks for fishing; how to fish successfully without nets, lines, spears,
snares, "bobs," or bait (a great secret), how to choose and clean guns;
how to breed minks for their skins (hundreds of dollars can be made by
any boy or young man who knows how to breed minks), etc.
This book is by an old trapper, for many years engaged in trapping in
the Northwest, who has finally consented to publish and disclose these
secrets. Persons living where wild animals exist, with some traps and
the information contained in this book, can make money faster through
the trapping season by giving their time and energies to the business
than they can by seeking their fortunes in the gold regions or in oil
speculations. This is at once the most complete and practical book now
in the market. Price, 15 cents.
=MODEL LETTER-WRITER (THE).=--A comprehensive and complete
guide and assistant for those who desire to carry on epistolary
correspondence--containing instructions for writing letters of
introduction; Letters of business; Letters of recommendation;
Applications for employment; Letters of congratulation; Letters of
condolence; Letters of friendship and relationship; Love-letters; Notes
of invitation; Letters of favor, of advice, and of excuse, etc., etc.,
together with appropriate answers to each. This is an invaluable book
for those persons who have not had sufficient practice to enable them to
write letters without great effort. 15 cents.
=NAPOLEON'S COMPLETE BOOK= of Fate and Complete Fortune Teller.--This is
the celebrated Oracle of Human Destiny consulted by Napoleon the First
previous to any of his undertakings, and by which he was so successful
in war, business, and love. It is the only authentic and complete copy
extant, being translated into English from a German translation of an
ancient Egyptian manuscript found in the year 1801 by M. Sonini, in one
of the royal tombs near Mount Libycus, in Upper Egypt. This Oraculum is
so arranged that any question on business, love, wealth, losses, hidden
treasures, no matter what its nature, the Oraculum has an answer for
it. It also shows how to learn of one's fate by consulting the planets.
Price 15 cents.
=OGILVIE'S HOUSE PLANS; OR HOW TO BUILD A HOUSE.=--A neat new book,
containing over thirty finely executed engravings of dwellings of all
sizes, from two rooms up; also churches, barns, and out-houses in great
variety.
This handy, compact, and very useful volume contains, in addition to
the foregoing, plans for each floor in each and every dwelling of which
an engraving is given. It has, also, valuable information relative to
building, such as number of shingles required in a roof, quantity of
plaster for a house, quantity of materials required for building a
house, etc., etc., and much other information of permanent and practical
value.
Any one of the plans is alone worth very much more than the price asked
for the book. It is invaluable to every architect, builder, mason, or
carpenter, and particularly do we urge all who anticipate erecting a
new or remodeling an old dwelling to send for a copy, as its fortunate
possessor may save hundred of dollars by following the suggestions it
contains. 25 cents.
=HOW TO BEHAVE.=--Hand-book of Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness.
CONTENTS: Etiquette and its uses; Introductions; Cutting acquaintances;
Letters of introduction; Street etiquette; Domestic etiquette and
duties; Visiting; Receiving company; Evening parties; The lady's toilet;
The gentleman's toilet; Invitations; Etiquette of the ball-room;
General rules of conversation; Bashfulness and how to overcome it;
Dinner parties; Table etiquette; Carving; Servants; Traveling; Visiting
cards; Letter writing; Conclusion. This is the best book of the kind
yet published, and every person wishing to be considered well-bred, who
wishes to understand the customs of good society, and to avoid incorrect
and vulgar habits, should send for a copy. 15 cents.
=MISS SLIMMENS' WINDOW.=--Complete edition in one volume now ready.
16mo, 150 pages. Bound in heavy paper covers, with 13 illustrations. 25
cents.
=OGILVIE'S HANDY MONITOR AND UNIVERSAL ASSISTANT=, containing
Statistical Tables of Practical Value for Mechanics, Merchants,
Editors, Lawyers, Printers, Doctors, Farmers, Lumbermen, Bankers,
Bookkeepers, Politicians and all classes of workers in every department
of human effort, and containing a compilation of facts for reference on
various subjects, being an epitome of matters Historical, Statistical,
Biographical, Political, Geographical and general interest. 190 pages
bound in paper, 25 cents.
No more valuable books has ever been offered containing so much
information of practical value in everyday life.
=OLD SECRETS AND NEW DISCOVERIES.=--Containing Information of Rare Value
for all Classes, in all Conditions of Society.
=It Tells= all about _Electrical Psychology_, showing how you can
biologize any person, and, while under the influence, he will do
anything you may wish him, no matter how ridiculous it may be, and he
cannot help doing it.
=It Tells= how to _Mesmerize_. Knowing this, you can place any person
in a mesmeric sleep, and then be able to do with him as you will. This
secret has been sold over and over again for $10.
=It Tells= how to make persons at a distance think of you--something all
lovers should know.
=It Tells= how you can charm those you meet and make them love you,
whether they will or not.
=It Tells= how Spiritualists and others can make writing appear on the
arm in blood characters, as performed by Foster and all noted magicians.
=It Tells= how to make a cheap Galvanic Battery; how to plate and gild
without a battery; how to make a candle burn all night; how to make a
clock for 25 cents; how to detect counterfeit money; how to banish and
prevent mosquitoes from biting; how to make yellow butter in winter;
Circassian curling fluid; Sympathetic or Secret Writing Ink; Cologne
Water; Artificial honey; Stammering; how to make large noses small; to
cure drunkenness; to copy letters without a press; to obtain fresh-blown
flowers in winter; to make good burning candles from lard.
=It Tells= how to make a horse appear as though he was badly foundered;
to make a horse temporarily lame; how to make him stand by his food and
not eat it; how to cure a horse from the crib or sucking wind; how to
put a young countenance on the horse; how to cover up the heaves; how to
make him appear as if he had the glanders; how to make a true-pulling
horse balk; how to nerve a horse that is lame, etc., etc.--These horse
secrets are being continually sold at one dollar each.
=It Tells= how to make the Eggs of Pharo's Serpents, which when lighted,
though but the size of a pea, there issues from it a coiling, hissing
serpent, wonderful in length and similarity to a genuine serpent.
=It Tells= how to make gold and silver from block tin (the least said
about which the better). Also how to take impressions from coins. Also
how to imitate gold and silver.
=It Tells= of a simple and ingenious method of copying any kind of
drawing or picture. Also, more wonderful still, how to print pictures
from the print itself.
=It Tells= how to perform the Davenport Brothers' "Spirit Mysteries." So
that any person can astonish an audience, as they have done. Also scores
of other wonderful things which there is no room to mention.
=Old Secrets and New Discoveries= is worth $5 to any person; but it will
be mailed to any address on receipt of only 25 cents.
=OUT IN THE STREETS.=--By S. N. Cook. Price, 15 cents.
We take pleasure in offering the strictly moral and very amusing
temperance drama entitled, "Out in the Streets," to all entertainment
committees as one that will give entire satisfaction. The parts are
taken by six male and six female characters.
=PHUNNY PHELLOW'S GRAB BAG=; or, Jolly Tid-Bits for Mirthful
Mortals.--Josh Billings, Danbury News Man and Bret Harte rolled into
one. It is not too much to say that the book contains the choicest
humor in the English language. Its size is mammoth, containing more
than one thousand of the raciest jests, comical hits, exhilarating
stories, flowers of wit, excruciating jokes, uproarious poems, laughable
sketches, darky comicalities, clowns' efforts, button-bursting
conundrums, endmen's jokes, plantation humors, funny caricatures,
hifalutin dialogues, curious scenes, cute sayings, ludicrous drolleries,
peculiar repartees, and nearly 500 illustrations. 25 cents.
=SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE (THE).=--By John Cowan, M.D. A handsome 8vo,
containing over 400 pages, with more than 100 illustrations, and sold at
the following prices; English cloth, beveled boards, gilt side and back,
$3.00; leather, sprinkled edges, $3.50; half turkey morocco, marbled
edges, gilt back, $4.00.
=SOME FUNNY THINGS= said by Clever Children. Who is not interested in
children? We are satisfied that this book will give genuine satisfaction
to all who are interested in listening to the happy voices of children.
This will show that humor is not confined to adult minds by any means.
64 pages, 10 cents.
=PALLISER'S AMERICAN ARCHITECTURE=; or, EVERY MAN A COMPLETE BUILDER.
The Latest and Best Publication on Modern Artistic Dwellings and other
Buildings of Low Cost. This is a new book just published, and there is
not a Builder or any one intending to Build or otherwise interested in
building that can afford to be without it. It is a practical work and
everybody buys it. The best, cheapest and most popular work of the kind
ever issued. Nearly four hundred drawings. A $5 book in size and style,
but we have determined to make it meet the popular demand, to suit the
times, so that it can be easily reached by all.
This book contains 104 pages, 11x14 inches in size, and consists of
large 9x12 plate pages giving plans, elevations, perspective views,
descriptions, owners' names, actual cost of construction, no guess work,
and instructions HOW TO BUILD 70 Cottages, Villas, Double Houses, Brick
Block Houses, suitable for city suburbs, town and country, houses for
the farm and workingmen's homes for all sections of the country, and
costing from $300 to $4,500; also Barns, Stables, School House, Town
Hall, Churches and other public buildings, together with specifications,
form of contract, etc., etc., and a large amount of information on the
erection of buildings, selection of site, employment of Architects,
etc., etc.
This book of 104 pages, as described above, will be sent by mail,
postpaid to any address on receipt of price. Price, heavy paper cover,
$1; handsomely bound in cloth, $2.
=SECRETS FOR FARMERS.=--This book tells how to restore rancid butter
to its original flavor and purity; a new way of coloring butter; how
largely to increase the milk of cows; a sure cure for kicking cows; how
to make Thorley's celebrated condimental food for cattle; how to make
hens lay every day in the year; it gives an effectual remedy for the
Canada thistle; to save mice-girdled trees; a certain plan to destroy
the curculio and peach-borer; how to convert dead animals and bones into
manure; Barnet's certain preventive for the potato rot, worth $50 to
any farmer; remedy for smut in wheat; to cure blight in fruit trees; to
destroy potato bug; to prevent mildew and rust in wheat; to destroy the
cut-worm; home-made stump machine, as good as any sold; to keep cellars
from freezing, etc., etc.
It is impossible to give the full contents of this valuable book here;
space will not allow. Price, 25 cents.
=SIDNEY'S STUMP SPEAKER.=--Price, 15 cents.
A collection of Yankee, Dutch, French, Irish and Ethiopian Stump
Speeches and Recitations, Burlesque Orations, Laughable Scenes, Humorous
Lectures, Button-bursting Witticisms, Ridiculous Drolleries. Funny
Stories, etc., etc.
=SUNNYSIDE COLLECTION OF READINGS AND RECITATIONS, NO 1.=--Compiled
by J. S. Ogilvie. 12mo, 192 pages, paper cover, 25 cents. This book
contains a choice collection of Readings and Recitations, which have
been selected with great care, and are especially adapted for Day
and Sabbath Schools, all adult and juvenile Organizations, Young
People's Associations, Reading Clubs, Temperance Societies, and Parlor
Entertainments. They comprise Prose and Poetry--Serious, Humorous,
Pathetic, Comic, Temperance, Patriotic. All those who are interested in
providing an entertainment should have this collection.
=THE SUNNYSIDE COOK BOOK.=--12mo, 250 pages. Paper cover, 25 cents;
bound in cloth, 75 cents. This book is offered as one of the best and
most complete books of the kind published. Not only are all the recipes
practical, but they are economical and such as come within the reach
of families of moderate income. It also contains valuable information
in relation to home matters not found in any other publication. It
also gives plain and easily understood directions for preparing and
cooking, with the greatest economy, every kind of dish, with complete
instruction for serving the same. This book is just the thing for a
young housekeeper.
=HOW TO GET MARRIED ALTHOUGH A WOMAN=; OR, THE ART OF PLEASING MEN. By
"A Young Widow." A new book that every woman will buy! The following
table of contents indicates the character of the work and will also
insure a large demand for it: Girls and Matrimony, The Girls Whom Men
Like, The Girl Who Wins, The Girl Who Fails, Some Unfailing Methods, A
Word of Warning, The Secret of the Widow's Power, Lady Beauty, The Loved
Wife, etc., etc.
Every unmarried woman, and, indeed, every woman, will be interested in
reading this book. It will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address on
receipt of 25 cents.
=DO YOU EVER DREAM?= And would you like to know the meaning of any or
all of your dreams? If so, you ought to buy the OLD WITCHES' DREAM
BOOK AND COMPLETE FORTUNE TELLER, which contains the full and correct
interpretations of all dreams and their lucky numbers. Also Fortune
Telling by cards, by the grounds in the coffee cup, how to discover a
thief, to know whether a woman shall have the man she wishes, to know
what fortune your future husband shall have, to see your future wife or
husband. The Dumb Cake, together with charms, incantations etc., etc.
This is a book that every one that wishes to know what is going to
happen ought to buy. It will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address
on receipt of 25 cents.
THE
EVERY-DAY EDUCATOR
OR,
How To Do Business.
Prepared for Ambitious Americans by
Prof. SEYMOUR EATON.
The Brightest and Best Help Manual ever issued in this Country.
Each of the numerous departments forms a unique feature. Here are the
titles of a few:
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
BOOK-KEEPING, BANKING, CORRESPONDENCE, ARITHMETIC, FRENCH, GERMAN,
LESSONS IN ELECTRICITY, ASTRONOMY, PENMANSHIP, PHYSICAL CULTURE, HOW TO
WRITE FOR THE PRESS, FIGURE SHORTHAND, LESSONS IN DRAWING, TELEGRAPHY,
FACTS and FIGURES, THESE BODIES OF OURS, GAMES AND PUZZLES, CHARACTER IN
HANDS, GOOD OPENINGS IN NEW TRADES, U. S. HISTORY, PUBLIC SPEAKING, HOW
TO GET A START, LITERATURE, AUTHORS and BOOKS.
[Illustration]
But why go further? Get the book and we guarantee you will say it is
away ahead of anything you have seen before.
The Every-Day Educator contains 240 pages. Handsomely printed on fine
paper. Fully illustrated. Substantially bound in cloth, and in every
respect a perfect specimen of advanced book-making, price, 75 cents;
bound in paper cover, 25 cents. Sent by mail, postpaid, to any address
on receipt of price. Agents wanted. Address all orders and applications
for an agency to
_J. S. OGILVIE PUBLISHING COMPANY_,
_Lock Box 2767._ _57 Rose Street, New York._
[Illustration:
AYER'S
CHERRY PECTORAL
CURES COLDS COUGHS
Throat and Lung Diseases]
* * * * *
Transcriber's notes:
Both US and British spellings of words are used throughout the text. The
prevalent spelling of individual words determined which were retained
and which were corrected. Non-standard spellings of common words have
been retained if used consistently. Generally, compound words such as
"musketbarrels" and "churchdoor" have been split. Archaic and French
spellings have been retained when appropriate to the sense of the text.
Inconsistent spellings of proper nouns have been regularized to agree
with the most prevalent spelling.
Punctuation errors affecting the flow of the prose appear to be
typesetter's errors and have been corrected. These include missing
periods, missing open or closed quote marks, colons used where
semicolons were more appropriate, and inappropriate placement of
punctuation.
Obvious typesetters' errors, such as repeated words, have been
corrected. Occasionally a missing word has been supplied when the sense
was obvious, such as in the phrase. "Thrusting their heads out of [the]
window, they saw the town in confusion..."
The translation contains countless French-like phrase constructions that
sound awkward in English, such as:
"Meanwhile four o'clock struck without any courier with
intelligence."
"At half-past nine they reached Clermont, four leagues
covered."
"Unfortunately Charny was not to the fore."
"We renounce describing what passed in an instant in her heart
of Queen and loving woman..."
"Just then a man leaped out of the crowd, who could not stop
him."
"In the adjoining room, a cheer burst at the words."
"And away galloped he on the track of the King."
In all cases they have been left as found.
The following words have been corrected (page numbers are refer to the
original hardcopy):
P6: mainroom changed to main room
P8: provences changed to provinces
P9: dirtcarts changed to dirt carts
P10: fron changed to from
P10: cooly changed to coolly
P14: ghastlily changed to ghastly
P15: self-acknowleged changed to self-acknowledged
P17: foul changed to fowl
P17: attaching changed to attacking
P22: eatabless changed to eatables
P22: seconed changed to second
P25: basilic changed to basilica
P26: griefs changed to grief
P26: whomesoever changed to whomsoever
P30: 1890 changed to 1790
P31: hight changed to height
P37: worshippers changed to worshipers
P39: bellpull changed to bell pull
P40: deuse changed to deuce
P40: Plebs changed to Plebes
P41: marrow changed to morrow
P42: obiivion changed to oblivion
P42: is inserted between it and so
P43: vitalism changed to vitality
P44: you inserted between whenever and arrived
P46: stilettes changed to stilettos
P46: Couldron changed to cauldron
P47: decide changed to decided
P51: spick changed to spic (and span)
P52: listenes changed to listens
P53: spectres changed to specters
P53: CHAPTER X changed to CHAPTER IX
P57: premaces changed to premises
P58: Choseul changed to Choiseul
P58: picklock changed to pick-lock
P59: kinglike changed to king-like
P61: wizzed changed to whizzed
P64: ridingcoat chnged to riding coat
P64: broadbrimmed changed to broad brimmed
P65: saddlehorse changed to saddle horse
P67: mesures changed to measures
P70: banted changed to bantered
P72: postilions changed to postillions
P73: forefelt changed to fore-felt
P73: new comer changed to new-comer
P73: stableyard changed to stable yard
P78: churchtower changed to church tower
P79: thunderpeal changed to thunder peal
P85: road changed to rode
P85: to changed to two
P85: musketbarrels changed to musket barrels
P86: gunbarrels changed to gun barrels
P90: bobwig changed to bob wig
P91: "the" added to text (out of [the] window)
P92: fieldpieces changed to field pieces
P93: sabers changed to sabres
P96: tranquillity changed to tranquility
P102: spunge changed to sponge
P103: new changed to knew
P103: defalter changed to defaulter
P104: gentelman changed to gentleman
P107: energetical changed to energetic
P108: fanciedly chabged to fancied
P109: reperuse changed to re-peruse
P114: carriagewheels changed to carriage wheels
P115: fairplay changed to fair play
P117: flunkey changed to flunky
P118: gallopped cchanged to galloped
P118: despatched changed to dispatched
P118: spunging changed to sponging
P119: backgarden changed to back garden
P125: townsofficer changed to towns officer
P126: comprehened changed to comprehended
P127: audactiy changed to audacity
P132: livelily chamged to lively
P133: churchdoor changed to church door
P135: righthand changed to right hand
P137: turn-up changed to turned-up
P137: dullist changed to duelist
P137: saltmeadow changed to salt meadow
P143: nobeman changed to nobleman
P148: worshipped changed to worshiped
P148: splendrous changed to splendorous
P150, 154: catastrophies changed to catastrophes
P182: rashess changed to rashness
P187: Hay changed to Hey
P189: deuse changed to deuce
P192: ain changed to again
P201: pllow changed to pillow
P146, 178: perillous changed to perilous
P148: deathsman changed to deaths-man
P152: smoe changed to some
P152: appeales changed to appeals
P154: pepole changed to people
P154: cruellest changed to cruelest
P156, 203: sittingroom changed to sitting room
P159: mantleshelf changed to mantle shelf
P163: deathcries changed to death cries
P164: Chount changed to Count
P169: Ays changed to Ayes
P175: battallions changed to battalions
P178: unmistakeable changed to unmistakable
P181: Constituant changed to Constituent
P181: Italiens changed to Italians
P204: posthorse changed to post horse
P205: townhall changed to town hall
PP48, 62, 102: etiquet changed to etiquette, which is more prevalent
End of Project Gutenberg's The Royal Life Guard, by Alexander Dumas (père)