NO ESCAPE
It was towards the middle of the next afternoon when Carrie Denham
leaned upon the rails of the little path outside the grey walls of the
garden at Barrock-holme. From where she stood she could see the narrower
and unprotected way along which she had ventured with Leland a few weeks
earlier, and she could not help remembering his quiet glance of
interrogation when he had come upon it suddenly. She and Jimmy had often
crossed that somewhat perilous ledge in their younger days, the more
often, in fact, because it had been forbidden to them. Though it was, of
course, new to Leland, he had displayed no hesitation when once she had
made her wishes plain. This had pleased her at the time, since it
suggested that he understood her resolution was equal to his own; but
now she brushed the recollection aside, for just then she felt she
almost hated him.
Close by, a narrow flight of steps hewn out of the dripping rock led
down into the ravine, and she watched with a curious sense of strained
expectancy the path which wound among the silvery birches from the foot
of them to the mossy stepping-stones round which the Barrock flashed.
She knew this was unwise, and that she could not escape from what lay
before her, but hope dies hard when one is young, and there was still
lurking at the back of her mind a faint belief that after all something
might happen to stave off the impending disaster. If so, it would be
only fitting that it should result from the efforts of the man in whom
she had once had faith and confidence, though neither now was so strong
as it had been.
A drowsy quietness brooded over Barrock-holme. The men were away
shooting, and the women had driven to inspect some relics of the Roman
occupation among the fells. She herself had made excuses for remaining
behind.
There was not a movement among the birch leaves still hanging here and
there, flecks of pale gold among the lace-like twigs beneath her, and
the murmur of the gently swirling water emphasised the silence of the
hollow. She could hear a squirrel shaking the beech-mast down, and the
patter of the falling nuts rose sharply distinct from the thin carpet of
yellow leaves. Then she felt her heart beat as the sound of footsteps
reached her ears. The man she had once believed in was coming, and, if
there was any way out of the difficulties that threatened her, it was
his part to find it.
He came up the rude steps hastily, a well-favoured young man of her own
world, and almost her own age, which she felt was in some ways
unfortunate then. As he seized both her hands, with a little resolute
movement she drew them away from him.
"No," she said a trifle sharply. "As I told you last time, that is all
done with now. It was a little weak of me to see you, and you must not
come here again."
The colour faded in the young man's face, and he clenched his hands
spasmodically.
"Oh!" he said, with a catch in his breath, "you can't mean it, Carrie.
In spite of what you told me, I had been trying to believe the thing was
out of the question."
There was pain in Carrie Denham's face, and a little bitter smile
flickered into her eyes.
"The thing one shrinks from most is generally the one that
happens--unless one does something to make it impossible," she said.
The man reddened, for, though he was pleasant to look at, a stalwart,
open-faced Englishman, he was very young, and it was, perhaps, not his
fault that there was a lack of stiffness in his composition. He was not
one to grapple resolutely with an emergency, and Carrie Denham, who had
once looked up to him, realised it then.
"What could I do--what could anybody in my place do?" he said, with a
little gesture that suggested desperation. "Stanley Crossthwaite is only
sixty, and may live another twenty years. While he does, I'm something
between his head keeper and a pensioner."
"Isn't it a pity you didn't think of that earlier?"
The man made as though he would have seized her hands again, but she
drew back from him with a slight shiver of hopelessness running through
her.
"You can't blame me," he said. "Who could help falling in love with you?
There was a time when I think you loved me, too."
Carrie watched him with a quietness at which she herself marvelled. She
had, at least, fancied she felt for him what he had protested he felt
for her, but now there was a stirring of contempt in her. Her reason
recognised that he was right, and there was nothing he could do; but,
for all that, he had been her last faint hope, and he had failed her.
"There is nothing to be gained by talking of that now," she said
quietly.
The man, who did not answer her, leaned upon the rails, gazing down into
the ravine with his face awry, until at last he looked up again.
"It's not that awful brute Aylmer?" he said hoarsely.
"No. I could not have brought myself to that."
"The farmer fellow? It's horrible, anyway, but I suppose one couldn't
blame you--they, your father and Jimmy, made you."
He straightened himself suddenly and moved along the path a pace or two.
"It's an abominable thing that you should be driven to such a sacrifice,
but you shall not make it. Can't you understand? It's out of the
question. You can't make it. Is there nothing you can do?"
The girl's face was colourless, and her lips were trembling, but her
eyes were hard, for her contempt was growing stronger now. The man had
asked her the question to which it seemed fitting that he alone should
find an answer. She did not know what she had expected from him, and,
since she had decided that the sacrifice must be made, she recognised
that there was, in fact, nothing she could expect; but her strength had
almost failed her. Had he suggested a desperate remedy, and insisted on
it masterfully, she might have fled with him. Only it would have been
necessary for him to compel her with an overwhelming forcefulness that
was stronger than her will, and that was apparently too much to ask of
him.
"No," she said, with a quietness that was born of despair, "there is
nothing. Fate is too strong for us, Reggie, and you must go back now. It
would have been better had I never promised that I would see you. I
should not have done it, but I wanted you to understand that I couldn't
help myself."
She held out a hand to him, and the man flushed as he seized it. Then he
drew her towards him, but the girl shook him off with a strength that
seemed equal to his own, and, though he scarcely saw her move, in
another moment she stood a yard or two away from him. There was a spot
of crimson in her cheek, and she was gasping a little.
"Go now!" she said, and her voice had a faintly grating ring. "Since you
cannot help me, you shall, at least, not make it harder than I can
bear."
He stood looking at her, slightly bewildered, irresolute, and
half-ashamed, though he did not quite realise for the moment why he
should feel so. Then, with a despairing gesture, he went down the steps
without a word. Whilst Carrie Denham still leaned dejectedly on the
terrace railing, Eveline Annersly, coming through the archway, caught a
glimpse of a shadowy figure moving off through the trees.
"Were you wise?" she asked the girl. "One has to be circumspect, you
know."
Carrie laughed bitterly.
"I do not think there was any great risk. It is a very long while since
young Lochinvar swam the Esk at Netherby. In fact, unless men have
changed with the times, it is difficult to believe that he ever did."
Mrs. Annersly glanced at her shrewdly, for she fancied she understood.
"I'm not sure they have," she said. "There was a gentleman in the ballad
who said nothing at all, and presumably did nothing, too; but I don't
know that I'm so very sorry for you. Reggie Urmston is a nice boy, but I
imagine that is about all that could be said of him."
She stopped a moment, and looked at the girl with a little twinkle in
her eyes. "I almost think, my dear, that if you had shown the Canadian
half the favour you have wasted on Reggie, he would, even in these
degenerate days, have carried you off, in spite of all the Denhams could
do to prevent him."
Then for the first time Carrie Denham flushed crimson as she heard the
thought she had not permitted herself to put into words. The impression
sank in, and she afterwards recalled it. She, however, said nothing in
comment, and the two went back silently through the archway to the lawn.
The rest of the afternoon seemed very long to Carrie; but it dragged
itself away, and at last she slipped out of the house as the still night
was closing down. A full moon had just lifted itself above the ridge of
moor. As she flitted along the terrace, the pale, silvery light was
creeping across the old grey house. It rose above her, a pile of rudely
hewn and weathered stone, not beautiful, for time itself could not make
it that with its creeping mosses, houseleek, and lichens, but stamped
with a certain rugged stateliness, and the girl, who had much else to
think of, felt its influence.
The pride of family was strong in her, and she remembered what kind of
men those were who had built themselves that home in the days of feud
and foray. They, at least, had not shrunk from the harder things of
life, and she, who sprang from them, could emulate their courage. It
seemed that Barrock-holme demanded a sacrifice, and she must make it.
Then a little flush crept to her face as she remembered the part her
father and Jimmy played. It was a degenerate and paltry one, to which
she felt the very stranger to whom they were willing to sell her would
never have stooped. He was not of her world, a man, so far as she knew,
of low degree, one who had held the plough; but there were, at least,
signs of strength and pride in him.
She stopped for just a moment with a little catching of her breath as
she saw him, a dim figure in the shadow of the firs beyond the wall that
lay in sharp, black outline upon the dewy lawn. Then she went on again,
nerving herself for what must be borne. When he had reached the foot of
the terrace steps, he stood waiting her there with his hat in his hand.
It was not exactly what Jimmy Denham or even Reggie Urmston would have
done in a similar case, but this quaint Westerner had seen fit to make
use of the formal courtesy of sixty years ago, and, what was most
curious, farmer as he was, it did not appear ridiculous in him.
"It was," he said, "very good of you to come, though I was 'most afraid
to hope that you would keep your promise."
"Wouldn't such a thing imply an obligation?'
"Yes"--and Leland made a little gesture--"I think it would with you.
Still, you see, the fact that you made that promise was in one way an
astonishing thing to me."
He stopped, and stood for a moment or two regarding her gravely, and the
girl noticed that he was one who could be silent without awkwardness. It
also seemed to her that he had made the opening moves rather gracefully.
"Well," he said at length, "I had the honour of making you an offer last
night."
The girl found something reassuring in his lack of embarrassment and his
dispassionate tone. She felt that the man was not in love with her, and
that promised to make things a good deal easier. She was also relieved
to find that she was mistress of herself.
"It was, perhaps, rather an unusual thing for me to ask you to meet me
here, but I fancied we should be quite alone," she said. "There is
something to be said."
"Yes," said Leland gravely. "That is quite natural. I am all attention."
"Then will you tell me candidly why you wish to marry me."
The moonlight showed the faint twinkle in Leland's eyes, as he made her
one of his queer little bows.
"I wonder," he said, "do you ever look into your mirror?"
"Pshaw!" said the girl. "That is, after all, a very indifferent reason.
I want the real one."
Leland stood very straight now, looking at her steadily, but it was
evident that he was somewhat perplexed. Accustomed as he was to being
frank with himself, he did not quite know why he wanted to marry her
then. A few weeks earlier he had been swayed by no more than an
unreasoning desire to save her from Aylmer, but he was by no means sure
that was all now. She stood full in the moonlight with the fleecy wrap
about her shoulders, intensifying the duskiness of her eyes and hair,
and the long light dress suggesting the sweeping lines of a
beautifully-moulded figure, and her freshness and beauty stirred his
depths. The faint trace of imperiousness in her pose, and the
unfaltering gaze of her dark eyes, which were as steady as his own, had
an effect that was stronger still, for her courage and composure
appealed most to him. In the meanwhile she was, however, apparently
awaiting an answer, and, though he was usually candid, nothing would
have induced him to mention his original reason.
"Well," he said, "I think I have told you that you are the most
beautiful woman I have ever, at least, spoken to, but that, though it
goes some distance, isn't quite everything. You've got grit and fibre
that are worth more than looks. I am a lonely man with big fancies of my
own, and, with you beside me to teach me what I do not know, I think I
could make my mark in my own country."
"You have nothing more to urge?"
Leland made a little gesture.
"My dear, I think you would find me kind to you."
If the issue had been less serious, Carrie Denham could have laughed.
His frankness and the absence of any sign of ardour or impassioned
protest were, she fancied, under the circumstances, somewhat unusual,
but that was, after all, a matter of relief to her. She was willing to
marry him, but she meant to teach him to keep his distance afterwards,
which would naturally be more difficult to do in the case of a man in
love with her. Then he fixed his gaze on her again.
"I almost fancy it's my turn now," he said. "I want the answer to a
question I asked you last night. Will you come back to Prospect with me,
as my wife?"
Carrie Denham felt her cheeks burn, for she had to make him understand,
and it was harder than she had imagined.
"Yes," she said simply; "on conditions. One must be honest, and I could
not make a bargain with you--afterwards--you can draw back now. I think
you know that I do not love you--and I have nothing to give you except
my fellowship. Still, as you do not love me, you will, perhaps, be
content with that."
The moonlight showed that Leland started slightly, and the darker colour
in his bronzed face, but he made her a little deferential gesture. Then
he looked up again, straightening himself, with the glint in his eyes
she had now and then seen there before.
"My dear," he said, "you shall do 'most everything you like; but, when
you say that I do not love you, I am not sure that you are right."
"Still," said the girl sharply, "I, at least, know what I feel myself,
and I have tried to tell you that you must not expect too much from me."
Leland, stooping, caught her hand and held it fast.
"It's a bargain," he said. "You shall be your own mistress in every way,
and your wishes will be quite enough for me; but I almost think that you
will love me, too, some day. I shall try to find how to make you, and I
have never been quite beaten yet in anything I undertook."
He saw the look of shrinking in her face, and, though he had not
expected it, a little thrill of pain ran through him. Then he raised the
hand he held, and, stooping, touched it with his lips before he laid it
on his arm. As they went up the steps together, he looked down on her
again.
"In the meanwhile, I will try to do nothing that could make you sorry
you married me; and you have only to tell me when anything does not
please you."
He left her at the entrance to the hall, while he went in search of
Branscombe Denham, and, as it happened, saw very little of her during
the rest of the evening. It was late that night when the girl related to
Eveline Annersly a part of what had passed. The faded, merry little
woman, her aunt and only confidante, smiled as she listened.
"You probably know your own affairs best, but I can't help wondering if
you were wise in giving that man to understand that you didn't care in
the least for him," she said.
"Why?" said Carrie.
"Because it is just possible that you may be sorry for it by-and-bye. As
it is, I don't think there is any great necessity for pitying you. If it
had been Aylmer, it would have been a different matter."
The girl looked at her with lifted brows.
"Do you suppose I should ever care for a man like that one?"
"Well," said her companion reflectively, "he seems to me a much superior
man to Reggie. Quite apart from that, I never could discover any
particular reason for the belief the Denhams seem to have that they are
set apart from the rest of humanity. If there were any, I should know
it, since I'm one of them myself, you see. Henry Annersly, with all his
shortcomings--and he naturally had them--was a much better man than
Jimmy will ever be. In any case, you would have had to marry somebody;
and, if I had been your mother, I would have shaken you for trying to
fancy yourself in love with Reggie."
Carrie Denham flushed crimson, and her brows straightened ominously, but
she restrained herself, and laughed, a little bitter laugh.
"Well," she said, "I suppose I did, and I had my chances in two Town
seasons. Perhaps I was unreasonably fastidious, but I was--if it wasn't
more than that--fond of Reggie, and, at least, I am willing to bear the
cost of my foolishness now."
Mrs. Annersly rose, and, after looking down on her a moment, stooped and
kissed her.
"Still," she said, "it wouldn't be quite honest to expect your husband
to bear it too. Good-night, and try to think well of him. I almost fancy
he deserves it."
She went out smiling, but, when the door had closed, her face grew grave
again.
"I wonder if that man will have reason to hate me for what I have done,"
she said.