_Against Voracitie and immoderate drinking, instanced by sundry
histories_.
Vitellius, an Emperour of Rome, was among divers other his notorious
vices so luxuriously given, that at one supper he was served with two
thousand fishes of divers kindes, and seven thousand flying foules; he
was afterward drawne through the streets with a halter about his neck,
and shamefully put to death.
But what shall we wonder at emperours prodigalities, when of later
yeares a simple Franciscan frier, Peter de Ruere, after hee had
attained to the dignitie of cardinall by the favour of the pope, his
kinsman, hee spent in two yeares, in which he lived at Rome, in feasts
and banquets, two hundred thousand crownes, besides his debts, which
were as much more.
In our time Muleasses, King of Tunis, was so drowned in pleasures,
that being expelled from his kingdome for his vices, after his returne
from Germanie, being denyed of ayd hee sought of the Emperour Charles
the Fifth, he spent an hundred crownes upon the dressing of a peacocke
for his owne mouth. And that hee might with more pleasure heare
musicke, he used to cover his eyes.--But the judgment of God fell upon
him; for his sone or brother dispossessed him of his kingdome, and
provided him a remedie that his sight should be no longer annoyance to
his hearing, causing his eyes to be put out with a burning hot iron.
He that is given to please his senses, and delighteth in the excesse
of eating and drinking, may, as Sallust saith, bee called animal, for
hee is unworthy the name of a man. For wherin can a man more resemble
brute beasts, and degenerate from his angelicall nature, than to serve
his belly and his senses? But if our predecessors exceeded us in
superfluitie of meats, wee can compare and goe beyond them in drinking
and quaffing.
King Edgar so much detested this vice of drunkennesse, that hee set an
order that no man should drinke beyond a certaine ring, made round
about the glasses and cups, of purpose for a marke.
Anacharsis saith, that the first draught is to quench the thirst, the
second for nourishment, the third for pleasure, the fourth for
madnesse.
Augustine Lercheimer reporteth a strange historie of three quaffers in
Germany, in the yeare one thousand five hundred and fortie nine; these
three companions were in such a jollity after they had taken in their
cups, according to the brutish manner of that countrey, that with a
coale they painted the divell on the wall, and dranke freely to him,
and talked to him as though hee had been present. The next morning
they were found strangled, and dead, and were buried under the
gallowes.
Surfeits maketh worke many times for the physician, who turning R into
D giveth his patient sometime a Decipe for a Recipe; and so payeth
deerely for his travell that hastneth him to his end. Horace calleth
such men that give themselves to their belly, a beast of Arcadia that
devoureth the grasse of the earth.
Cornelius Celsus giveth this counsell when men come to meat: _Nunquam
utilis nimia satietatis, saepe inutilis nimia abstinentia_; over-much
satiety is never good, over-much abstinence is often hurtfull.
Mahomet desirous to draw men to the liking of him and his doctrine,
and perceiving the pronenesse of men to luxuriousness and fleshly
pleasures, yet dealt more craftily in his _Alcoran_, than to persuade
them that felicitie consisted in the voluptuousenesse and pleasures of
this life, which he knew would not be believed nor followed but of a
few, and those the more brutish sort, but threatened them with a kind
of hell, and gave them precepts tending somewhat more to civilitie and
humanitie, and promised his followers a paradise in the life to come,
wherin they should enjoy all maner of pleasures which men desire in
this world; as faire gardens environed with pleasant rivers, sweet
flowers, all kinde of odoriferous savours, most delicate fruits,
tables furnished with most daintie meats, and pleasant wines served in
vessels of gold, &c. &c.
The Egyptians had a custome not unmeet to bee used at the carousing
banquets; their manner was, in the middest of their feasts to have
brought before them anatomie of a dead body dried, that the sight and
horror thereof putting them in minde to what passe themselves should
one day come, might containe them in modesty. But peradventure things
are fallen so far from their right course, that that device will not
so well serve the turne, as if the carousers of these later daies were
persuaded, as Mahomet persuaded his followers when hee forbad them the
drinking of wine, that in every grape there dwelt a divell. But whun
they have taken in their cups, it seemeth that many of them doe feare
neither the divell nor any thing else.
Lavater reporteth a historie of a parish priest in Germanie, that
disguised himselfe with a white sheete about him, and at midnight came
into the chamber of a rich woman that was in bed, and fashioning
himself like a spirit, hee thought to put her in such feare, that shee
would procure a conjuror or exorcist to talke with him, or else speake
to him herselfe. The woman desired one of her kinsmen to stay with her
in her chamber the next night. This man making no question whether it
were a spirit or not, instead of conjuration or exorcisme, brought a
good cudgell with him, and after hee had well drunke to encrease his
courage, knowing his hardinesse at those times to bee such, that all
the divels in hell could not make him affraide, hee lay downe upon a
pallat, and fell asleepe. The spirit came into the chamber againe at
his accustomed houre, and made such a rumbling noyse, that the
exorcist (the wine not being yet gone out of his head) awaked, and
leapt out of his bed, and toward the spirit hee goeth, who with
counterfeit words and gesture, thought to make him afraid. But this
drunken fellow making no account of his threatnings, Art thou the
divel? quoth he, then I am his damme; and so layeth upon him with his
cudgell, that if the poore priest had not changed his divel's voyce,
and confessed himselfe to be Hauns, and rescued by the woman that then
knew him, he had bin like not to have gone out of the place alive.
This vice of drunkennesse, wherein many take over-great pleasure, was
a great blemish to Alexander's virtues. For having won a great part of
Asia, he laid aside that sobrietie hee brought forth of Macedon, and
gave himselfe to the luxuriousenesse of those people whom he had
conquered.
That King, Cambyses, tooke over-great plaasure in drinking of wine;
and when he asked Prexaspes, his secretary, what the Persians said of
him, he answered, that they commended him highly, notwithstanding they
thought him over-much given to wine, the king being therewith very
angry, caused Prexaspes' sonne to stand before him, and taking his bow
in his hand, Now (quoth he) if I strike thy son's heart, it will then
appeare that I am not drunk, but that the Persians doe lye; but if I
misse his heart, they may be believed. And when he had shot at his
son, and found his arrow had pierced his heart, he was very glad; and
told him that he had proved the Persians to be lyars.
Fliolmus, king of the Gothes, was so addicted to drinking, that hee
would sit a great part of the night quaffing and carousing with his
servants. And as on a time he sate after his accustomed and beastly
manner carousing with them, his servants being as drunke as he, threw
the king, in sport, into a great vessell full of drinke, that was set
in the middist of the hall for their quaffing, where he ridiculously
and miserably ended his life.
Cineas being ambassador to Pyrrhus, as he arrived in Egypt, and saw
the exceeding height of the vines of that country, considering with
himselfe how much evill that fruit brought forth to men, sayd, that
such a mother deserved justly to be hanged so high, seeing she did
beare so dangerous a child as wine was. Plato considering the hurt
that wine did to men, sayd, that the gods sent wine downe hither,
partly for a punishment of their sinnes, that when they are drunke,
one might kill another.
Paulus Diacrius reporteth a monstrous kinde of quaffing, between foure
old men at a banquet, which they made of purpose. Their challenge was,
two to two, and he that dranke to his companion must drinke so many
times as hee had yeares; the youngest of the foure was eight and
fiftie yeares old; the second three-score and three; the third
four-score and seven; the fourth four-score and twelve; so that he
which dranke least, dranke eight-and-fifty bowles full of wine, and so
consequently, according to their yeares, whereof one dranke four-score
and twelve bowles.
The old Romanes, when they were disposed to quaff lustily, would
drinke so many carouses as there were letters in the names of their
mistresses, or lovers; so easily were they overcome with this vice,
who by their virtue some other time, became masters of the world; but
these devices are peradventure stale now; there be finer devices to
provoke drunkennesse.
In the time of Antonius Pius, the people of Rome being given to drinke
without measure, he commanded that none should presume to sell wine
but in apothecaries' shops, for the sicke or diseased.
Cyrus, of a contrary disposition to the gluttons and carousers, in his
youth gave notable signes and afterward like examples of sobrietie and
frugalitie, when he was monarch of the Persians. For, being demanded
when he was but a boy, of his grandfather, Astyages, why he would
drink no wine, because, said hee, I observed yesterday when you
celebrated the feast of your nativitie, so strange a thing, that it
could not be but that som man had put poison into all the wine that ye
drank; for at the taking up of the table, there was not one man in his
right minde. By this it appeareth, how rare a matter it was then to
drinke wine, and a thing to be wondered at to see men drunke. For when
the use of wine was first found out, it was taken for a thing
medicinable, and not used for a common drinke, and was to be found
rather in apothecaries' shops than in tavernes. What a great
difference there was betweene the frugalitie of the former ages and
the luxuriousnesse of these latter dayes, these few examples will
shew. This Cyrus, as hee marched with his army, one asking him what he
would have provided for his supper, hee answered, bread; for I hope,
sayth hee, wee shall find a fountain to serve us of drinke. When Plato
had beene in Sicilia, being asked what new or strange thing hee had
seene; I have seene, sayth hee, a monster of nature, that eateth twice
a day. For Dionysius whom he meant, first brought the custome into
that country. For it was the use among the Hebrewes, the Grecians, the
Romanes, and other nations, to eat but once a day. But now many would
thinke they should in a short time be halfe famished, if they should
eat but twice a day; nay, rather whole dayes and nights bee scant
sufficient for many to continue eating and quaffing. Wee may say with
the poet--
Tempora mutantur et nos mutamur in illis.
The times are changed and we are changed in them.
By the historie of the swine (which by the permission of God, were
vexed by the divell) we be secretly admonished that they which spend
their lives in pleasures and deliciousnesse, such belly-gods as the
world hath many in these daies, that live like swine, shall one day be
made a prey for the divell; for seeing they will not be the temple of
God, and the house of the Holy Ghost, they must of necessitie be the
habitation of the divell. Such swine, sayth one, be they that make
their paradise in this world, and that dissemble their vices, lest
they should bee deprived of their worldly goods.
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