Mortified at the barbarous resolution pronounced by you so positively
yesterday evening, that you would remain single for the rest of your
life as a compliment due to the memory of your husband, I retired to
my chamber. Throwing myself upon my bed I dreamt that I was dead, and
was transported to the Elysian fields.
[Footnote 25: A letter now printed in Volume VI of the "Works of
Franklin," edited by John Bigelow.]
I was asked whether I wished to see any persons in particular; to
which I replied that I wished to see the philosophers. "There are two
who live here at hand in this garden; they are good neighbors and very
friendly toward one another." "Who are they?" "Socrates and
Helvetius." "I esteem them both highly; but let me see Helvetius
first, because I understand a little French but not a word of Greek."
I was conducted to him; he received me with much courtesy, having
known me, he said, by character some time past. He asked me a thousand
questions relative to the war, the present state of religion, of
liberty, of the government in France. "You do not inquire, then," said
I, "after your dear friend, Madame Helvetius; yet she loves you
exceedingly. I was in her company not more than an hour ago." "Ah,"
said he, "you make me recur to my past happiness, which ought to be
forgotten in order to be happy here. For many years I could think of
nothing but her, tho at length I am consoled. I have taken another
wife, the most like her that I could find; she is not, indeed,
altogether so handsome, but she has a great fund of wit and good
sense, and her whole study is to please me. She is at this moment gone
to fetch the nectar and ambrosia to regale me; stay here awhile and
you will see her." "I perceive," said I, "that your former friend is
more faithful to you than you are to her; she has had several good
offers, but has refused them all. I will confess to you that I love
her extremely, but she was cruel to me and rejected me peremptorily
for your sake." "I pity you sincerely," said he, "for she is an
excellent woman, handsome and amiable. But do not the Abbe de la R----
and the Abbe M---- visit her?" "Certainly they do; not one of your
friends has dropt her acquaintance." "If you had gained the Abbe M----
with a bribe of good coffee and cream perhaps you would have
succeeded; for he is as deep a reasoner as Dun Scotus or St. Thomas;
he arranges and methodizes his arguments in such a manner that they
are almost irresistible. Or if by a fine edition of some old classic
you had gained the Abbe de la R---- to speak against you, that would
have been still better, as I always observed that when he recommended
anything to her, she had a great inclination to do exactly the
contrary."
As he finished these words the new Madame Helvetius entered with the
nectar and I recognized her immediately as my former American friend,
Mrs. Franklin! I reclaimed her, but she answered me coldly, "I was a
good wife to you for forty-nine years and four months, nearly half a
century; let that content you. I have formed a new condition here,
which will last to eternity."
Indignant at this refusal of my Eurydice, I immediately resolved to
quit those ungraceful shades and return to this good world again, to
behold the sun and you. Here am I; let us _avenge ourselves_.