Fastnachtspiele aus dem 15^n Jahrhundert, I, 199, No 22, obliges the
abbot to answer three questions, or pay for all the damages done in the
course of a calamitous invasion. The abbot has a week's grace allowed
him. The questions are three: How much water in the sea? How much is the
emperor worth? Whose luck came quickest? The miller answers for the
abbot: Three tubs, if they are big enough; eight and twenty pence; and
_he_ is the man whose luck came quickest, for just before he was a
miller, now he is an abbot. The emperor says that, since the miller has
acted for the abbot, abbot he shall be.
Very like this, as to the form of the story, is the anecdote in Pauli's
Schimpf und Ernst, LV, p. 46, ed. Oesterley (c. 1522). A nobleman, who
is seeking an occasion to quarrel with an abbot, tells him that he must
answer these questions in three days, or be deposed: What do you value
me at? Where is the middle of the world? How far apart are good and bad
luck? A swineherd answers for him: Since Christ was sold for thirty
pence, I rate the emperor at twenty-nine and you at twenty-eight; my
church is the mid-point of the world, and, if you will not believe me,
measure for yourself; good and bad luck are but one night apart, for
yesterday I was a swineherd, to-day I am an abbot. Then, says the
nobleman, an abbot shall you stay. With this agrees, say the Grimms, the
tale in Eyring's Proverbiorum Copia (1601), I, 165-168, III, 23-25.
Waldis, Esopus (1548), B. 3, Fabel 92, Kurz, I, 382, agrees in general
with Pauli: but in place of the first two questions has these three: How
far is to heaven? How deep is the sea? How many tubs will hold all the
sea-water? The answers are: A short day's journey, for Christ ascended
in the morning and was in heaven before night; a stone's cast; one tub,
if large enough.
Teofilo Folengo (1491-1544), as pointed out by Köhler, has the story in
the 8th canto of his Orlandino; and here we find the third question of
our ballad. There are three besides: How far from earth to heaven? From
the east to the west?--a modification of the second question in the
ballad; How many drops of water in the seas about Italy? The abbot's
cook, Marcolf, answers to the first, One leap, as proved by Satan's
fall; to the second, One day's journey, if the sun is to be trusted; and
insists that, for a correct count under the third, all the rivers shall
first be stopped. To the fourth he makes the never-stale reply, You
_think_ I am the abbot, but I am the cook. Rainero says he shall remain
abbot, and the abbot the cook. (Stanzas 38, 39, 64-69, pp 186 f, 195 ff,
London edition of 1775.)
A capital Spanish story, 'Gramatica Parda, Trueba, Cuentos Populares, p.
287, has all three of the questions asked and answered as in our ballad.
There is a curate who sets up to know everything, and the king, "el rey
que rabió," has found him out, and gives him a month to make his three
answers, with a premium and a penalty. The curate is forced to call in a
despised goatherd, who also had all along seen through the shallowness
of the priest. The king makes the goatherd "archipámpano" of Seville,
and condemns the curate to wear the herdsman's garb and tend his goats
for a month.[383]
The first and third questions of the ballad are found in the
thirty-eighth tale of Le Grand Parangon des Nouvelles Nouvelles of
Nicolas de Troyes, 1536 (ed. Mabille, p. 155 ff); in the Patrañuelo of
Juan de Timoneda, 1576, Pat. 14, Novelistas anteriores á Cervantes, in
the Rivadeneyra Biblioteca, p. 154 f; and in the Herzog Heinrich Julius
von Braunschweig's comedy, Von einem Edelman welcher einem Abt drey
Fragen auffgegeben, 1594, ed. Holland, p. 500 ff. The other question is
as to the centre of the earth, and the usual answers are given by the
abbot's miller, cook, servant, except that in Timoneda the cook is so
rational as to say that the centre must be under the king's feet, seeing
that the world is as round as a ball.[384] The question Where is the
middle of the earth? is replaced by How many stars are there in the sky?
the other two remaining, in Balthasar Schupp, Schriften, Franckfurt,
1701, I, 91 f (Köhler), and in Gottlieb Cober († 1717),
Cabinet-prediger, 2^r Theil, No 65, p. 323 (Gräter, Idunna u. Hermode,
1814, No 33, p. 131, and p. 87). The abbot's miller gives a huge number,
and bids the king (of France) verify it, if he wishes. This last is no
doubt the version of the story referred to by the Grimms in their note
to K. u. H. märchen, No 152.
We encounter a slight variation, not for the better, in L'Élite des
Contes du Sieur d'Ouville († 1656 or 1657), Rouen, 1699, I, 241; à la
Haye, 1703, I, 296; ed. Ristelhuber, 1876, p. 46 (Köhler); Nouveaux
Contes à Rire, Cologne, 1709, p. 266; Contes à Rire, Paris, 1781, I,
184. An ignorant and violent nobleman threatens a parson, who plumes
himself on a little astrology, that he will expose him as an impostor if
he does not answer four questions: Where is the middle of the world?
What am I worth? What am I thinking? What do I believe? The village
miller answers for the curé. The reply to the third question is, You are
thinking more of your own interest than of mine; the others as before.
This story is retold, after tradition, by Cénac Moncaut, Contes
populaires de la Gascogne, p. 50, of a marquis, archiprêtre, and miller.
The query, What am I thinking of? with the answer, More of your interest
than of mine (which is not exactly in the popular manner), is replaced
by a logical puzzle, not found elsewhere: Quel est le nombre qui se
trouve renfermé dans deux [oeufs]?
The King and the Abbot is preserved, in modern German tradition, in this
form. An emperor, riding by a cloister, reads the inscription, We are
two farthings poorer than the emperor, and live free of cares. Wait a
bit, says the emperor, and I will give you some cares. He sends for the
abbot, and says, Answer these three questions in three days, or I will
depose you. The questions are, How deep is the sea? How many stars in
the sky? How far from good luck to bad? The shepherd of the monastery
gives the answers, and is told, as in several cases before, If you are
the abbot, abbot you shall be. J. W. Wolf, Hessische Sagen, p. 166, No
262, II. 'Gustav Adolf und der Abt von Benediktbeuern,' in Sepp's
Altbayerischer Sagenschatz, p. 554, No 153, is another form of the same
story, with a substitution of How far is it to heaven? for the first
question, and the answers are given by a kitchie-boy.[385] In 'Hans ohne
Sorgen,' Meier, Deutsche Volksmärchen aus Schwaben, p. 305, the
questions are, How far is it to heaven? How deep is the sea? How many
leaves has a linden? and the shepherd again undertakes the
answers.[386] 'Der Müller ohne Sorgen,' Müllenhoff, p. 153, 208, is a
mutilated variation of these. The abbot disappears, and the questions
are put to the miller, who answers for himself. The second question is
How much does the moon weigh? and the answer, Four quarters; if you
don't believe it, you must weigh for yourself.
We meet the miller _sans souci_ again in a Danish tale, which otherwise
agrees entirely with our ballad. The questions are answered by the rich
miller's herdsman: Grundtvig, Gamle danske Minder, 1854, p. 112, No 111.
A Croatian version of the story is given by Valyavets, 'Frater i turski
car,' p. 262. The Turkish tsar is disposed to expel all monks from his
dominions, but determines first to send for an abbot to try his calibre.
The abbot is too much frightened to go, and his cook, as in Foligno and
Timoneda, takes his place. The questions are, Where is the centre of the
world? What is God doing now? What am I thinking? The first and third
are disposed of in the usual way. When called to answer the second, the
cook said, You can't see through the ceiling: we must go out into the
field. When they came to the field, the cook said again, How can I see
when I am on such a small ass? Let me have your horse. The sultan
consented to exchange beasts, and then the cook said, God is wondering
that a sultan should be sitting on an ass and a monk on a horse. The
sultan was pleased with the answers, and reasoning, If the cook is so
clever, what must the abbot be, decided to let the monks alone.
Afanasief, who cites this story from Valyavets (Narodnuiya russkiya
Skazki, VIII, 460), says that he heard in the government of Voroneje a
story of a soldier who dressed himself as a monk and presented himself
before a tsar who was in the habit of puzzling people with riddles. The
questions are, How many drops in the sea? How many stars in the sky?
What do I think? And the answer to the last is, Thou thinkest, gosudar,
that I am a monk, but I am merely a soldier.[387]
A few tales, out of many remaining, may be now briefly mentioned, on
account of variations in the setting.
A prisoner is to be released if he can tell a queen how much she is
worth, the centre of the world, and what she thinks. A peasant changes
clothes with the prisoner, and answers _pro more_. Kurtzweiliger
Zeitvertreiber durch C. A. M. von W., 1668, p. 70 f, in Köhler, Orient
u. Occident, I, 43.
A scholar has done learning. His master says he must now answer three
questions, or have his head taken off. The master's brother, a miller,
comes to his aid. The questions are, How many ladders would reach to the
sky? Where is the middle of the world? What is the world worth? Or,
according to another tradition, the two last are, How long will it take
to go round the world? What is my thought? Campbell, Popular Tales of
the West Highlands, II, 391 f.
Eulenspiegel went to Prague, and advertised himself on the doors of the
churches and lecture-rooms as a great master, capable of answering
questions that nobody else could solve. To put him down, the rector and
his colleagues summoned Eulenspiegel to an examination before the
university. Five questions were given him: How much water is there in
the sea? How many days from Adam to now? Where is the middle of the
world? How far from earth to heaven? What is the breadth of the sky?
Lappenberg, Dr Thomas Murners Ulenspiegel, p. 38, No 28; Howleglas, ed.
Ouvry, p. 28.
A herdboy had a great fame for his shrewd answers. The king did not
believe in him, but sent for him, and said, If you can answer three
questions that I shall put, I will regard you as my own child, and you
shall live in my palace. The questions are, How many drops of water are
there in the ocean? How many stars in the sky? How many seconds in
eternity? The Grimms, K. u. H. märchen, No 152, 'Das Hirtenbüblein.'
Three questions are put to a counsellor of the king's, of which the
first two are, Where does the sun rise? How far from heaven to earth?
The answers, by a shepherd, are extraordinarily feeble. Jüdisches
Maasäbuch, cap. 126, cited from Helwigs Jüdische Historien, No 39, in
the Grimms' note to Das Hirtenbüblein.
Three monks, who know everything, in the course of their travels come to
a sultan's dominions, and he invites them to turn Mussulmans. This they
agree to do if he will answer their questions. All the sultan's doctors
are convened, but can do nothing with the monks' questions. The hodja
(the court-fool) is sent for. The first question, Where is the middle of
the earth? is answered as usual. The second monk asks, How many stars
are there in the sky? The answer is, As many as there are hairs on my
ass. Have you counted? ask the monks. Have _you_ counted? rejoins the
fool. Answer me this, says the same monk, and we shall see if your
number is right: How many hairs are there in my beard? "As many as in my
ass's tail." "Prove it." "My dear man, if you don't believe me, count
yourself; or we will pull all the hairs out of both, count them, and
settle the matter." The monks submit, and become Mussulmans. Les
plaisanteries de Nasr-eddin Hodja, traduites du turc par J. A.
Decourdemanche, No 70, p. 59 ff.
The Turkish emperor sends word to Kaiser Leopold that unless the emperor
can answer three questions he shall come down upon him with all his
Turks. The counsellors are summoned, but there is no help in them. The
court-fool offers to get his master out of the difficulty, if he may
have the loan of crown and sceptre. When the fool comes to
Constantinople, there lies the sultan in the window, and calls out, Are
you the emperor, and will you answer my questions? Where does the world
end? "Here, where my horse is standing." How far is it to heaven? "One
day's journey, and no inn on the road." What is God thinking of now? "He
is thinking that I am one fool and you another." J. W. Wolf, Hessische
Sagen, p. 165, No 262I.[388]
For the literature, see especially the Grimms' Kinder und Hausmärchen,
notes to No 152; R. Köhler in Orient und Occident, I, 439-41;
Oesterley's note to Pauli's Schimpf und Ernst, No 55, p. 479.
* * * * *
Translated, after Percy's Reliques, II, 302, 1765, by Bodmer, II, III;
by Doenniges, p. 152; by Ritter, Archiv für das Studium der neueren
Sprachen, XXII, 222. Retold by Bürger, 'Der Kaiser und der Abt,'
Göttinger Musenalmanach für 1785, p. 177.
A
Percy MS., p. 184. Hales and Furnivall, I, 508.
1
Off an ancient story Ile tell you anon,
Of a notable prince _tha_t was called K_in_g Iohn,
In England was borne, with maine and with might;
Hee did much wrong and mainteined litle right.
2
This noble prince was vexed in veretye,
For he was angry w_i_th the Bishopp of Canterbury;
Ffor his house-keeping and his good cheere,
Thé rode post for him, as you shall heare.
3
They rode post for him verry hastilye;
The k_in_g sayd the bishopp kept a better house then hee:
A hundred men euen, as I [have heard] say,
The bishopp kept in his house eu_er_ye day,
And fifty gold chaines, w_i_thout any doubt,
In veluett coates waited the bishopp about.
4
The bishopp, he came to the court anon,
Before his prince _tha_t was called K_ing_ Iohn.
As soone as the bishopp the k_ing_ did see,
'O,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'bishopp, thow art welcome to mee.
There is noe man soe welcome to towne
As thou _tha_t workes treason against my crowne.'
5
'My leege,' q_uo_th the bishopp, 'I wold it were knowne
I spend, yo_u_r grace, nothing but _tha_t _tha_t's my owne;
I trust yo_u_r grace will doe me noe deare
For spending my owne trew gotten geere.'
6
'Yes,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'bishopp, thou must needs dye,
Eccept thou can answere mee questions three;
Thy head shalbe smitten quite from thy bodye,
And all thy liuing remayne vnto mee.
7
'First,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'tell me in this steade,
W_i_th this crowne of gold heere vpon my head,
Amongst my nobilitye, w_i_th ioy and much mirth,
Lett me know w_i_thin one pennye what I am worth.
8
'Secondlye, tell me without any dowbt
How soone I may goe the whole world about;
And thirdly, tell mee or eu_er_ I stinte,
What is the thing, bishopp, _tha_t I doe thinke.
Twenty dayes pardon thoust haue trulye,
And come againe and answere mee.'
9
The bishopp bade the k_ing_ god night att a word;
He rode betwixt Cambridge and Oxenford,
But neu_er_ a doctor there was soe wise
Cold shew him these questions or enterprise.
10
Wherew_i_th the bishopp was nothing gladd,
But in his hart was heauy and sadd,
And hyed him home to a house in the countrye,
To ease some p_ar_t of his melanchollye.
11
His halfe-brother dwelt there, was feirce and fell,
Noe better but a shepard to the bishoppe himsell;
The shepard came to the bishopp anon,
Saying, My Lord, you are welcome home!
12
'What ayles you,' q_uo_th the shepard,' _tha_t you are soe sadd,
And had wonte to haue beene soe merry and gladd?'
'Nothing,' q_uo_th the bishopp, 'I ayle att this time;
Will not thee availe to know, brother mine.'
13
'Brother,' q_uo_th the shepeard, 'you haue heard itt,
_Tha_t a ffoole may teach a wisemane witt;
Say me therfore whatsoeu_er_ you will,
And if I doe you noe good, Ile doe you noe ill.'
14
Q_uo_th the bishop: I haue beene att the court anon,
Before my prince is called K_ing_ Iohn,
And there he hath charged mee
Against his crowne with traitorye.
15
If I cannott answer his misterye,
Three questions hee hath p_ro_pounded to mee,
He will haue my land soe faire and free,
And alsoe the head from my bodye.
16
The first question was, to tell him in _tha_t stead,
W_i_th the crowne of gold vpon his head,
Amongst his nobilitye, w_i_th ioy and much mirth,
To lett him know w_i_thin one penye what hee is worth.
17
And secondlye, to tell him w_i_th-out any doubt
How soone he may goe the whole world about;
And thirdlye, to tell him, or ere I stint,
What is the thinge _tha_t he does thinke.
18
'Brother,' q_uo_th the shepard, 'you are a man of learninge;
What neede you stand in doubt of soe small a thinge?
Lend me,' q_uo_th the shepard, 'yo_u_r ministers apparrell,
Ile ryde to the court and answere yo_u_r quarrell.
19
'Lend me yo_u_r serving men, say me not nay,
W_i_th all yo_u_r best horsses _tha_t ryd on the way;
Ile to the court, this matter to stay;
Ile speake w_i_th K_ing_ Iohn and heare what heele say.'
20
The bishopp w_i_th speed p_re_pared then
To sett forth the shepard with horsse and man;
The shepard was liuely w_i_thout any doubt;
I wott a royall companye came to the court.
21
The shepard hee came to the court anon
Before [his] prince _tha_t was called K_ing_ Iohn.
As soone as the k_ing_ the shepard did see,
'O,' q_uo_th the king, 'bishopp, thou art welcome to me.'
The shepard was soe like the bishopp his brother,
The k_ing_ cold not know the one from the other.
22
Q_uo_th the k_ing_, Bishopp, thou art welcome to me
If thou can answer me my questions three.
Said the shepeard, If it please yo_u_r grace,
Show mee what the first quest[i]on was.
23
'First,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'tell mee in this stead,
W_i_th the crowne of gold vpon my head,
Amongst my nobilitye, w_i_th ioy and much mirth,
W_i_thin one pennye what I am worth.'
24
Q_uo_th the shepard, To make yo_u_r grace noe offence,
I thinke you are worth nine and twenty pence;
For our L_ord_ Iesus, _tha_t bought vs all,
For thirty pence was sold into thrall
Amongst the cursed Iewes, as I to you doe showe;
But I know Christ was one penye better then you.
25
Then the k_ing_ laught, and swore by St Andrew
He was not thought to bee of such a small value.
'Secondlye, tell mee w_i_th-out any doubt
How soone I may goe the world round about.'
26
Saies the shepard, It is noe time with yo_u_r grace to scorne,
But rise betime w_i_th the sun in the morne,
And follow his course till his vprising,
And then you may know w_i_thout any leasing.
27
And this [to] yo_u_r grace shall proue the same,
You are come to the same place from whence you came;
[In] twenty-four houres, w_i_th-out any doubt,
Yo_u_r grace may the world goe round about;
The world round about, euen as I doe say,
If w_i_th the sun you can goe the next way.
28
'And thirdlye tell me or eu_er_ I stint,
What is the thing, bishoppe, _tha_t I doe thinke.'
'_Tha_t shall I doe,' q_uo_th the shepeard; 'for veretye,
You thinke I am the bishopp of Canterburye.'
29
'Why, art not thou? the truth tell to me;
For I doe thinke soe,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'by St Marye.'
'Not soe,' q_uo_th the shepeard; 'the truth shalbe knowne,
I am his poore shepeard; my brother is att home.'
30
'Why,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'if itt soe bee,
Ile make thee bishopp here to mee.'
'Noe, Sir,' q_uo_th the shepard, 'I pray you be still,
For Ile not bee bishop but against my will;
For I am not fitt for any such deede,
For I can neither write nor reede.'
31
'Why then,' q_uo_th the k_ing_, 'Ile giue thee cleere
A pattent of three hundred pound a yeere;
_Tha_t I will giue thee franke and free;
Take thee _tha_t, shepard, for coming to me.
32
'Free p_ar_don Ile giue,' the k_ing_s grace said,
'To saue the bishopp, his land and his head;
W_i_th him nor thee Ile be nothing wrath;
Here is the p_ar_don for him and thee both.'
33
Then the shepard he had noe more to say,
But tooke the p_ar_don and rode his way:
When he came to the bishopps place,
The bishopp asket anon how all things was.
34
'Brother,' q_uo_th the shepard, 'I haue well sped,
For I haue saued both yo_u_r land and yo_u_r head;
The k_ing_ with you is nothing wrath,
For heere is the p_ar_don for you and mee both.'
35
Then the bishopes hart was of a merry cheere:
'Brother, thy paines Ile quitt them cleare;
For I will giue thee a patent to thee and to thine
Of fifty pound a yeere, land good and fine.'
36
. . . . . . .
. . . . . . .
'I will to thee noe longer croche nor creepe,
Nor Ile serue thee noe more to keepe thy sheepe.'
37
Whereeu_er_ wist you shepard before,
_Tha_t had in his head witt such store
To pleasure a bishopp in such a like case,
To answer three questions to the k_ing_s grace?
Whereeu_er_ wist you shepard gett cleare
Three hundred and fifty pound a yeere?
38
I neu_er_ hard of his fellow before,
Nor I neu_er_ shall: now I need to say noe more.
I neu_er_ knew shepeard _tha_t gott such a liuinge
But David, the shepeard, _tha_t was a k_ing_.
B
Broadside, printed for P. Brooksby, at the Golden Ball in
Pye-corner (1672-95).
1
I'll tell you a story, a story anon,
Of a noble prince, and his name was King John;
For he was a prince, and a prince of great might,
He held up great wrongs, he put down great right.
Derry down, down hey, derry down
2
I'll tell you a story, a story so merry,
Concerning the Abbot of Canterbury,
And of his house-keeping and high renown,
Which made him resort to fair London town.
3
'How now, father abbot? 'T is told unto me
That thou keepest a far better house than I;
And for [thy] house-keeping and high renown,
I fear thou has treason against my crown.'
4
'I hope, my liege, that you owe me no grudge
For spending of my true-gotten goods:'
'If thou dost not answer me questions three,
Thy head shall be taken from thy body.
5
'When I am set so high on my steed,
With my crown of gold upon my head,
Amongst all my nobility, with joy and much mirth,
Thou must tell me to one penny what I am worth.
6
'And the next question you must not flout,
How long I shall be riding the world about;
And the third question thou must not shrink,
But tell to me truly what I do think.'
7
'O these are hard questions for my shallow wit,
For I cannot answer your grace as yet;
But if you will give me but three days space,
I'll do my endeavor to answer your grace.'
8
'O three days space I will thee give,
For that is the longest day thou hast to live.
And if thou dost not answer these questions right,
Thy head shall be taken from thy body quite.'
9
And as the shepherd was going to his fold,
He spy'd the old abbot come riding along:
'How now, master abbot? You'r welcome home;
What news have you brought from good King John?'
10
'Sad news, sad news I have thee to give,
For I have but three days space for to live;
If I do not answer him questions three,
My head will be taken from my body.
11
'When he is set so high on his steed,
With his crown of gold upon his head,
Amongst all his nobility, with joy and much mirth,
I must tell him to one penny what he is worth.
12
'And the next question I must not flout,
How long he shall be riding the world about;
And the third question I must not shrink,
But tell him truly what he does think.'
13
'O master, did you never hear it yet,
That a fool may learn a wiseman wit?
Lend me but your horse and your apparel,
I'll ride to fair London and answer the quarrel.'
14
'Now I am set so high on my steed,
With my crown of gold upon my head,
Amongst all my nobility, with joy and much mirth,
Now tell me to one penny what I am worth.'
15
'For thirty pence our Saviour was sold,
Amongst the false Jews, as you have been told,
And nine and twenty's the worth of thee,
For I think thou are one penny worser than he.'
16
'And the next question thou mayst not flout;
How long I shall be riding the world about.'
'You must rise with the sun, and ride with the same,
Until the next morning he rises again,
And then I am sure you will make no doubt
But in twenty-four hours you'l ride it about.'
17
'And the third question you must not shrink,
But tell me truly what I do think.'
'All that I can do, and 't will make you merry;
For you think I'm the Abbot of Canterbury,
But I'm his poor shepherd, as you may see,
And am come to beg pardon for he and for me.'
18
The king he turned him about and did smile,
Saying, Thou shalt be the abbot the other while:
'O no, my grace, there is no such need,
For I can neither write nor read.'
19
'Then four pounds a week will I give unto thee
For this merry jest thou hast told unto me;
And tell the old abbot, when thou comest home,
Thou hast brought him a pardon from good King John.'
* * * * *
#A.#
_Not divided into stanzas in the MS._
3^3, 3^5, 6^2, 8^5, 15^2, 22^2, 24^4, 27^3, 31^2, 37^4.
_Arabic numerals are expressed in letters._
14^1. thy court.
24^2. worth 29 pence.
31^2. patten.
31^4. caming.
35^4. 50_{:}^11.
37^6. 350_{:}^11.
#B.#
5^1, 11^1, 14^1. on my [his] steed so high.
7^1. my sh ow.
11^1. sat.
12^3. thou must.
19^4. K. John.