THE HAPPY GARDENERS.

WE were storemen, clerks and packers on

an ammunition dump

Twice the size of Cootamundra, and the goods

we had to hump

They were bombs as big as water-butts, and

cartridges in tons,

Shells that looked like blessed gasmains, and

a line in traction-guns.

We had struck a warehouse dignity in dealing

with the stocks.

It was, "Sign here, Mr. Eddie!" "Clarkson,

forward to the socks!"

Our floor-walker was a major, with a nozzle

like a peach,

And a stutter in his Trilbies; and a limping

kind of speech.

We were off at eight to business, we were free

for lunch at one,

And we talked of new Spring fashions, and the

brisk trade being done.

After five we sought our dugouts lying snug

beneath the hill,

Each with hollyhocks before it and geraniums

on the sill.

Singing "Home, Sweet home," we swept,

and scrubbed, and dusted up the place,

Then smoked out on the doorstep in the twi-

light's tender grace.

After which with spade and rake we sought

our special garden plot,

And we 'tended to the cabbage and the shrink-

ing young shallot.

So long lived we unmolested that this seemed

indeed "the life."

Set apart from mirk and worry and the inci-

dence of strife;

And we trimmed our Kitchen Eden, swapping

vegetable lore,

Whi1e the whole demented world beside was

muddled up with war.

There was little talk of Boches and of bloody

battle scenes,

But a deal about Bill's spuds and Billy

Carkeek's butter-beans;

Porky specialised on onion and he had a sort

of gift

For a cabbage plump and tender that it took

two men to lift.

In the pleasant Sabbath morning, when the

sun lit on our "street,"

And illumed the happy dugout with effulgence

kind and sweet,

It was fine to see us forking, raking, picking

off the bugs,

Treading flat the snails and woodlice and

demolishing the slugs.

Then one day old Fritz got going. He had

a hint of us,

And the shell the blighter posted was as roomy

as a 'bus;

He was groping round the dump, and kind of

pecking after it;

When he plugged the hill the world heeled up,

the dome of heaven split.

Then, 0 Gott and consternation! Swooped a

shell a and stuck her nose

In Carkeek's beans. Those beans came up!

A cry of grief arose!

As we watched them--plunk! another shell

cut loose, and everywhere

Flew the spuds of Billy Murphy. There were

turnips in the air.

Bill! she tore a quarter-acre from the land-

scape. With it burst

Tommy's carrots, and we watched them, and

in whispers prayed and cursed.

Then a wail of anguish 'scaped us. Boomed

in Porky's cabbage plot

A detestable concussion. Porky's cabbages

were not!

There the Breaking strain was reached, for

Porky fetched an awful cry,

And he rushed away and armed himself.

With loathing in his eye,

Up and over went the hero. He was savage

Through and through,

And he tore across the distance like a mad-

dened kangaroo.

They had left a woeful sight indeed--frail cab-

bages all rent,

Turnips mangled, little carrots all in one red

burial blent,

Parsnips ruined, lettuce shattered, torn and

wilted beet and bean,

And a black and grinning gap where once our

garden flourished green.

. . . . . .

Five and fifty hours had passed when came a

German in his shirt.

On his back he carried Porky black with

blood, and smoke and dirt.

"I sniped six of 'em," said Porky, "an' me

pris'ner here," he sez-

"I done in the crooel swine what strafed me

helpless cabba-ges."

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