through what good-fortune or chance, my poor master became possessed of
a real. He came to the house with it, as delighted as if he had got all
the riches of Venice, and smiling at me with a very joyous expression,
he said: “Take it, Lazaro, for God has at length begun to open His
hand. Go to the market for bread, meat, and wine, for we will break the
Devil’s eye. I would further have you to know that I have taken another
house, and that we shall not have to be in this wretched one for more
than another month. May it be accursed, and he who placed the first
tile to build it! O Lord! how have I lived here! Scarcely a drop of
wine have I drunk nor a morsel of bread have I eaten, nor have I ever
had any rest here, and it looks so sad and forbidding. Go and return
quickly, for to-day we will eat like counts.”
I took the jug and the real, and giving speed to my feet, I began to
run up the street to the market, very joyful and contented. But of what
avail if evil fortune always brought anxiety with my joy. So it was on
this occasion.
As I ran up the street I was calculating how I could spend the money
to the best advantage and most profitably, giving thanks to God that
my master had got something to spend. [Sidenote: Terror of Lazaro,
thinking they were bringing a dead body to his house.] Suddenly I met
a funeral with many priests and mourners. I got up against the wall to
let them pass. Presently they came, one in deep mourning, apparently
the wife of the deceased, with other women. She was crying with a loud
voice and saying, “O my lord and husband, whither are they taking you,
to the sad and empty house, to the dark and wretched place, to the
house where there is nothing to eat and drink.” When I heard this the
heaven and earth seemed to be joined together. I exclaimed, “O unhappy
me! it is to our house that they are taking this dead body.” I turned
back, slipped through the crowd of people, and ran down the street
as fast as I could to our house. [Sidenote: Lazaro bars the door to
keep out the dead body.] When I got there I began to close the door in
great haste, calling on my master to come and help, and to defend the
entrance. He was rather surprised, thinking it was something else, and
said to me, “What is this, my boy, what are you making a noise about,
what are you doing, why are you shutting the door in such a fury?” “Oh
sir,” I cried, “they are bringing a dead body here!” “How do you know?”
he said. “I met it in the street,” I replied, “and the dead man’s wife
was crying and shouting, ‘My lord and husband, whither do they take
you, to the dark and dismal house, to the sad and wretched place, to
the house where they never eat nor drink.’ It must be here, sir, that
they are bringing it.” Certainly when my master heard this, though he
had no great reason to be merry, he laughed so heartily that it was a
long time before he could speak. By this time I had got the beam across
the door and put my shoulder against it, to make it more secure.
[Sidenote: Lazaro barring the door.]
The people passed with their corpse, and all the time I pushed against
the door, to prevent them from getting into the house. At last, when he
had had much more of laughing than of eating, my good master said to
me, “In truth, Lazaro, seeing what the widow was saying, you were right
to think as you did. But God has been good to us, and they have passed.
So open, open, and go and get the food.” “Let me wait, sir, until
they are out of the street,” I begged. [Sidenote: At last the esquire
unbars the door, and Lazaro does his marketing.] At last my master
came and opened the door in spite of me, which was necessary, because
I was so upset with fear and excitement. I then went out. We ate well
on that day, but I took no pleasure in it, nor did my colour come back
for three more days, while my master smiled a good deal, whenever he
noticed the state I had been in.
In this way I continued with my third and poorest master, the esquire,
for several succeeding days, always longing to know the reason of his
coming and remaining in this place. For, from the first day that I
took service with him, I saw that he was a stranger, from the little
intercourse he had with the inhabitants. [Sidenote: The esquire tells
his story to Lazaro.] At last I accomplished my desire, and came to
know what I wanted. It was one day when we had eaten reasonably well,
and were rather well satisfied. He told me about his affairs, and said
that he came from Old Castille. He said he had left his home for no
other reason than that he had not taken off his cap to a knight who
was his neighbour. “Sir,” I said, “if that was what happened, and he
was greater than you, were you not wrong in not having doffed your
cap first? but he ought to have taken his off as well.” He went on
to say that the knight did take off his cap to him; but that he had
taken his off first so many times, that it was well to see what the
other would do. “It seems to me, sir,” said I, “that you should have
doffed to one greater and richer than yourself.” [Sidenote: The esquire
expounds his views of honour to Lazaro.] “You are only a boy,” he
replied, “and cannot understand the things appertaining to honour in
which, at the present time, is all the wealth of respectable people.
You must remember that I am, as you know, an esquire. I swear to God
that if I met a count in the street and he did not salute me, I would
not salute him if I met him again. I should enter some house as if I
had business there, or turn down another street before he came near me.
For a gentleman owes nothing to any one but God and the king; nor is
it right for a man of honour to forego his self-respect. I remember
that one day, in my country, I affronted and nearly came to blows with
an officer, because whenever I saluted him he said, ‘May God preserve
your honour!’ ‘You are a wretch,’ I said, ‘for you are not well bred.
You said to me “God preserve you,” as if I was nobody.’ From that time
he took off his cap, and behaved properly.” [Sidenote: The esquire
continues to discourse on the same subject.] “Is it not good manners
for one man to salute another,” I asked, “or to say ‘God preserve
you’?” He answered, “It is only underbred people who talk thus. To
gentlemen like myself, it should be not less than ‘I kiss the hands
of your honour!’ or at the very least, ‘I kiss your hand, sir!’ if he
who speaks is a knight. In my own land I would not suffer a mere ‘God
preserve you,’ nor will I suffer it from any man in the world, from
the king downwards.” “Sinner that I am,” said I, “for having taken so
little care about it. But will you not suffer any one to pray for you?”
He continued: “Above all, I am not so poor but that I possess, in my
own country, an estate of houses which are well-built, sixteen leagues
from where I was born, in the vicinity of Valladolid. They would be
worth two hundred times a thousand maravedis if they were in good
repair; and I also have a pigeon-cote which, if it was not demolished,
would give out two hundred pigeons every year, as well as other things
about which I am silent, as it might touch my honour.
[Sidenote: The esquire’s honour makes him fastidious in accepting
employment.]
“I came to this city because I expected to find a good appointment, but
things have not turned out as I thought. Canons and other Churchmen
find plenty, because their profession is not overcrowded. Careless
gentlemen also seek me, but to serve with such people involves great
trouble, for a man must lose his self-respect with them. If not
they tell you to go in God’s name, while the pay is usually at long
intervals; when they wish to clear their consciences, and pay for your
work, they make you free of a wardrobe containing a worn doublet and
a frayed cloak. [Sidenote: Service with a great lord is not to the
esquire’s liking.] When a man takes service with a titled lord there is
also misery. I cannot undertake to serve or content such. By the Lord!
if I should engage myself to one, I think that I should be a great
favourite, and that he would confer great favours on me; but I should
have to like his habits and customs though not the best in the world; I
should be expected never to say a word that would displease, to be very
careful in word and deed, not to kill myself in doing things which
the great man would not see, never to consort with those who would do
him disservice because it would behove me to guard his interests. If
some servant of his excites his anger by neglecting his duties, and
it should appear that something might be said for the accused, on the
contrary you must scoff at the poor fellow maliciously. It is a duty
to inform against those in the house, and to find out what is done
outside, so as to report it. Many other things of a like kind are the
custom in a palace, and with the lord of it, who appears honourable.
But such lords do not want to see virtuous men in their houses. On
the contrary, they hate and despise them, calling them useless and
unacquainted with business. I do not wish to trust my fortunes with
such people.”
[Sidenote: When the people came for their rent, the esquire
disappeared.]
In this way my master was lamenting his ill-fortune, and giving me an
account of his valorous person. While he was thus employed a man and an
old woman came in by the door. The man asked for the rent of the house,
and the old woman for the rent of the bed, saying that they were hired
from two months to two months. I think the sum required was twelve to
thirteen reals. My master gave them a very civil answer, saying that
he would go out and get change, and return in the afternoon.
But his departure was without any return. They returned in the
afternoon when it was late, and I told them that he had not yet come
back. The night came, but he did not. I was afraid to stay in the house
alone, so I went to my girl-friends, told them what had happened, and
slept there. When morning came the creditors returned and asked for the
lodger. The girls answered that his boy was there, and that the key was
in the door. They asked me where my master was, and I answered that I
did not know where he was, but that he had gone out to get change. I
thought that he had gone with the change from me as well as from them.
[Sidenote: Creditors search for the esquire’s effects, but there are
none.]
When they had heard what I had to say they went for an officer and a
scrivener. Presently they returned with them. They took the key, called
me and some witnesses, opened the door and went in to take possession
of my master’s effects until he had paid his debts. They went all over
the house and found it empty. Then they asked me where my master’s
effects were, his chest, clothes, and jewelry. I said that I did not
know. No doubt, they said, they have got up in the night and taken
them somewhere else. [Sidenote: Lazaro is taken into custody.] “Sir,”
they said to the officer, “take this boy into custody, for he knows
where the effects are.” On this the officer came and took me by the
collar, saying, “Boy, you are my prisoner if you do not show us the
goods of your master.”
[Illustration: “_They returned in the afternoon._”]
I never was in such a plight as this, though I had been taken by the
collar many times. I was dreadfully frightened and began to cry,
promising to tell them all they might ask. “That is well,” they said,
“tell all you know and you have nothing to fear.”
The scrivener then sat down on the bench to write out the inventory,
asking me what there was. I said, “What my master has, according to
what he told me, is a very good estate consisting of houses and a
demolished pigeon-cote.” “This is worth little,” they said, “but it
will do for the payment of his debts. In what part of the town is
it?” “In his own country,” I replied. “By the Lord! this is a fine
business,” they exclaimed, “and where is his country?” “He told me that
it was in Old Castille,” I said. The officer and the scrivener laughed
a good deal, and said, “This is a good story to cover your debts!”
[Sidenote: Lazaro is released, at the intercession of his girl-friends.]
The girls who were my neighbours, and who were present, then said:
“Sirs! this is an innocent child, and has only been a few days with
that esquire, and knows no more than your worships. He used to come to
our house and we gave him to eat what we could spare, for the love of
God, and at night he went to sleep with the esquire.”
Seeing that I was innocent they let me go. Then the officer and the
scrivener asked for their fees from the man and the old woman, over
which there was much contention and noise. They declared that they
ought not to be forced to pay, for they had got nothing to pay with,
and that the seizure of goods had not been made. The others maintained
that they had been taken away from other business of more consequence.
Finally, after making a great noise, they went away, and I do not know
how it ended.
[Sidenote: Lazaro finds himself deserted by his master.]
Having rested from my past troubles I went about to seek employment.
Thus I left my poor third master, and know not his unhappy fate.
Looking back at all that had gone against me, I found that I had
managed my affairs in a reverse way. Masters are usually deserted by
their boys, but with me it was not so. For my master deserted and fled
from me.
FOURTH MASTER
HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A FRIAR OF THE ORDER OF MERCY, AND WHAT
HAPPENED TO HIM.
I had to seek for my fourth master. He was a friar of the Order of
Mercy, who was pointed out to me by my girl-friends. They called him a
relation. He was a great enemy of the choir, and of having his meals in
the convent. He was fond of walking about, of secular business, and of
paying visits, so much so that I think he wore out more shoes than any
one else in the convent. The friar gave me the first shoes I ever burst
in my life. They did not last eight days. I could not endure so much
trotting about. For this reason, and some other little things I will
not mention, I left him.
FIFTH MASTER
HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A SELLER OF PAPAL INDULGENCES
My fifth master chanced to be a man engaged in the sale of Papal
Indulgences.[26] He was the most shameless and impudent distributor
of them that ever I saw or hope to see, nor do I believe that any one
else ever saw one like him. For he had and sought out his own modes
and methods, and very cunning inventions. Coming to the place where
he wanted to effect the sales, he began by making trifling presents
to the clergy, but nothing of any great value: a lettuce of Murcia if
it was the season, a couple of lemons or oranges, a peach, a couple
of nectarines, or some green pears. In this way he got them into good
humour for favouring his business, and inducing their parishioners to
buy his Indulgences.
[26] The “Pardoner,” or seller of Indulgences, was also
caricatured in Chaucer’s _Canterbury Tales_, a century and a half
earlier.
[Sidenote: Subtle contrivances of the seller of Indulgences.]
If they said that they understood Latin, he did not say a word in
that language, for fear of stumbling, but he resorted a gentle and
well-considered way of telling his story, with a most seductive tongue.
If he found that the clergy were of the reverend class, he talked to
them in Latin for two hours, at least what appeared like Latin, though
it might not have been so. When the people did not buy the Indulgences
freely, he sought how to make them do so by bringing trouble on their
village. At other times he tried cunning tricks. But as all his devices
would take long to relate, I will only recount one that was specially
subtle, and proved his sufficiency.
He had preached for two or three days in a village near Toledo, using
all his accustomed arts, but no one had bought an Indulgence, nor
was there any sign of an intention to do so. He had devoted them all
to the Devil, and was meditating what to do next, when he determined
to call the parishioners together the next morning and make a last
effort. [Sidenote: Sham quarrel between the seller of Indulgences and
the constable.] That night he and the constable,[27] after supper,
sat down to play at cards, and they began to quarrel over the game,
and make use of bad language. The seller of Indulgences called the
constable a thief, and the constable called him a liar. On this my
master took up a lance which was in the doorway. The constable put
his hand on his sword. At the row they were making the guests and
neighbours came and got between them. In great fury the combatants
struggled to free themselves and get at each other. But as the
place was full of people they saw that they would be prevented from
fighting, so they again resorted to abusive language. Among other
things the constable said to my master that he was a liar, and that the
Indulgences about which he preached were false. At last the people, as
they could not pacify the disputants, determined to take the constable
away. Thus my master was left in a great rage. Later on the guests and
neighbours entreated him to moderate his anger and go to bed, which in
the end we all did.
[27] A pardoner always had a sergeant or constable with him, to
help him in such houses as refused to pay for their pardons at
the appointed time.
When morning came my master went to the church to arrange about the
Mass, and about preaching the sermon to announce the Indulgences. The
people assembled, but they came murmuring at the Indulgences, saying
that they were false, and that the constable himself had found it
out. If before they disliked buying them they now detested the idea.
[Sidenote: The seller of Indulgences begins his sermon.] The commissary
or seller of Indulgences went up into the pulpit, and began his sermon
by urging the people not to fail in getting the benefit of such a
blessing and such Indulgences as the sacred Bull brought them. When he
was in the middle of his sermon the constable entered by the door of
the church, and when he had said a prayer, he got up and addressed the
people in a loud voice. “Good people,” he said, “hear one word from me,
and then listen to any one you like. I came here with this cheat who is
preaching to you, and he deceived me. He said that I should help him in
this business, and that we would divide the profits. Now see the harm
he would have done to my conscience and to your pockets. [Sidenote:
Sham denunciation of the Indulgences by the constable.] I plainly
declare to you that the Indulgences he is preaching about are false,
and that you should not believe in them nor buy them. I will not be a
party to it, directly nor indirectly. From this time I give up the wand
of office and put it on the ground. If hereafter this man is punished
for his falsehoods, you must be my witness that I am not a party to
them, and have neither aided nor abetted them. On the contrary, I have
undeceived you and exposed his imposture.” Then he concluded his speech.
Some respectable men wanted to take the constable and turn him out of
the church to avoid scandal. But my master raised his hand and ordered
that no one should molest him on pain of excommunication. He declared
that the constable must be allowed to say whatever he liked. When the
constable had finished, my master asked him whether he wanted to say
anything more. The constable replied, “I could say a good deal more
about your falsehoods, but this will do for the present.”
The commissary then knelt down in the pulpit, clasped his hands, turned
his eyes up, and said: “O Lord! from whom nothing is hidden, and to
whom all things are known, to whom nothing is impossible but all things
are possible, Thou knowest the truth and how unjustly I have been
accused. All that concerns myself I freely pardon, as Thou, Lord, hast
pardoned me. Look not at this man who knows not what he does or says. I
only pray for justice. Some who are present may perchance have intended
to take these holy Indulgences, and on hearing the false words of that
man they may have changed their minds. So I pray to Thee, O Lord, that
Thou wilt work a miracle in this way. [Sidenote: Sham miracle worked
on the constable.] If what my accuser says is true, that I am evil and
false, let this pulpit sink from me forty feet under ground, and never
appear again. But if what I say is true, and that man is persuaded by
the Devil to try to deprive those present of such great benefits, let
him be punished, that all may know his malice.”
Scarcely had my devout master finished his speech when the bad
constable fell to the ground with such a noise that the church
resounded. Then he began to groan and foam at the mouth, making hideous
faces, throwing about his arms and legs, and rolling about on the
ground. The noise made by the people was so great that they could not
hear each other speak. Some were astounded and terrified. Others cried
to God for help. A few, not without trepidation, took his arms and held
his legs, for there is not a mule in the world that could have given
fiercer kicks. So they held him for a long time, there being more than
fifteen men keeping him down, and to all he gave blows, and, if they
were not careful, kicks also.
All this time my master was on his knees in the pulpit, with hands
and eyes raised to heaven, transported by the divine essence. The
noise and disturbance in the church had no effect on his sacred
contemplations. [Sidenote: The people intercede for the constable.]
Some good men came to him, and, speaking loudly to arouse him,
entreated him to succour that poor creature who was dying. They
besought him not to dwell upon things that were past, and not to
consider his evil deeds, as he had been punished. They prayed to him
that, if he could do any good, he would deliver the man from his
sufferings for the love of God. They declared that they clearly saw the
sin of the culprit, and my master’s truth and goodness, but entreated
him to pray to the Lord not to prolong the man’s punishment. [Sidenote:
All the people pray for the constable to be forgiven.] The commissary,
like one awaking from a delicious dream, looking long at the culprit
and at those who were round him, then said: “My good friends, you have
interceded for a man on whom God has so signally laid his Hands. But He
has enjoined us not to return evil for evil, and to pardon injuries. We
may confidently pray that His goodness will pardon this offender who
has tried to put obstacles into the working of His holy faith. Let us
all pray for this.”
He then came down from the pulpit, and desired that all should pray
very devoutly to our Lord to pardon that sinner, and restore him to
health and sound judgment, delivering him from the Devil, if, for his
great sin, the Evil One had been permitted to enter into him. All went
down on their knees before the altar, while the clergy began to chant
a litany in a low voice, coming with a cross and the holy water, after
singing over it. My master raised his hands to heaven, and turned
his eyes up until scarcely anything could be seen but the whites.
[Sidenote: The farce is carried on to completion.] He then commenced
an address not less long than devout, which made the people weep as
they do over a sermon on the Passion delivered by a famous preacher. He
prayed to the Lord not to require the death of the sinner, but rather
to give his life back to one who had been led away by the Devil, that,
being convinced of his sin unto death, he might receive pardon, life,
and health, and that he might repent and confess. This done, he would
receive the Indulgence.
Presently the sinful constable began gradually to recover until he was
himself again. When he was well, he fell at the feet of the commissary
asking for pardon, and confessing that what he had said was by order
of the Devil, to do my master harm and to be avenged on him, but
principally because the Devil was very much annoyed at the good that
was done by the Indulgences being received. My master pardoned him,
and signs of friendship were passed between them. Then there was such
eagerness to buy the Indulgences that scarcely a soul in the place was
without one--husbands and wives, sons and daughters, boys and girls.
The news of what had happened soon spread to the neighbouring villages,
and when we came to them it was not necessary to preach nor even to go
to church. In ten or twelve villages of that neighbourhood where we
were, my master sold as many thousand Indulgences, without having to
preach a single sermon. When he performed this farce, I confess that
I was astounded and believed like many others. [Sidenote: Lazaro was
behind the scenes.] But afterwards I was a witness to the jokes and
laughter that my master and the constable had over the business. I knew
how it had been planned and arranged by the industry and inventive
talent of my master. Though only a boy I fell into thought, and said to
myself, “How many more tricks will the rogues play on these innocent
people!” I was nearly four months with my fifth master, during which I
also suffered plenty of hardships.
[Illustration: “_The news soon spread to the neighbouring villages._”]
SIXTH MASTER
HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A CHAPLAIN AND HOW HE PROSPERED