The same night it was intimated to me that I was fined in five hundred
marks, and that bonds were required to be given for the payment; upon
the granting of which, in consideration of my ill-health, the Lord
Kelburne had consented I should be set free.
This was, in many respects, a more lenient sentence than I had expected;
and in the hope that perhaps Sarah Lochrig might have been able to
provide the money, so as to render the granting of the bonds and the
procuring of cautioners unnecessary, I sent over a man on horseback to
tell her the news, and the man in returning brought my son Joseph
behind him, sent by his mother to urge me to give the bonds at once, as
she had not been able to raise so much money; and the more to incite me,
if there had been need for incitement, she had willed Joseph to tell me
that a party of Claverhouse's dragoons had been quartered on the house
that morning, to live there till the fine was paid.
Of the character of those freebooters I needed no certificate. They had
filled every other place wherever they had been quartered with shame and
never-ceasing sorrow, and therefore I was indeed roused to hear that my
defenceless daughters were in their power, so I lost no time in sending
my son to entreat two of his mother's relations, who were bein merchants
in Ayr, to join me in the bond,--a thing which they did in the most
compassionate manner;--and, the better to expedite the business, I got
it to be permitted by the Lord Kelburne that the bonds should be sent
the same day to Irvine, where I hoped to be able next morning to
discharge them. All this was happily concerted and brought to a pleasant
issue before sunset;--at which time I was discharged from the tolbooth,
carrying with me many pious wishes from those who were there, and who
had not been so gently dealt by.
It was my intent to have proceeded home the same night, but my son was
very tired with the many errands he had run that day, and by his long
ride in the morning; moreover, I was myself in need of repose, for my
anxiety had brought on a disturbance in my blood, and my limbs shook,
and I was altogether unable to undertake any journey. I was therefore
too easily entreated of Archibald Lochrig, my wife's cousin, and one of
my cautioners, to stop in his house that evening. But next morning,
being much refreshed with a pleasant sleep and the fallacious cheering
of happy dreams, I left Ayr, with my son, before the break of day, and
we travelled with light feet, for our hearts were lifted up with hope.
Though my youth was long past, and many things had happened to sadden my
spirit, I yet felt on that occasion an unaccountable sense of kindliness
and joy. The flame of life was as it were renewed, and brightened in the
pure and breezy air of the morning, and a bounding gladness rose in my
bosom as my eye expatiated around in the freedom of the spacious fields.
On the left-hand the living sea seemed as if the pulses of its moving
waters were in unison with the throbbings of my spirit; and, like jocund
maidens disporting themselves in the flowing tide, the gentle waves,
lifting their heads, and spreading out their arms and raising their
white bosoms to the rising sun, came as it were happily to the smooth
sands of the sparkling shore. The grace of enjoyment brightened and
blithened all things. There was a cheerfulness in the songs of the
little birds that enchanted the young heart of my blooming boy to break
forth into singing, and his carol was gayer than the melody of the lark.
But that morning was the last time that either of us could ever after
know pleasure any more in this world.
Eager to be home, and that I might share with Sarah Lochrig and our
children the joy of thankfulness for my deliverance, I had resolved to
call, in passing through Irvine, at the clerk's chamber, to inquire if
the bonds had been sent from Ayr, that my cautioners might be as soon as
possible discharged. But we had been so early a-foot that we reached the
town while the inhabitants were yet all asleep, so that we thought it
would be as well to go straight home; and accordingly we passed down the
gait and through the town-end port without seeing any person in the
street, save only the town-herd, as he was going with his horn to sound
for the cows to be sent out to go with him to the moor.
The sight of a town in the peacefulness of the morning slumbers, and of
a simple man going forth to lead the quiet cattle to pasture filled my
mind with softer thoughts than I had long known, and I said to my son,--
"Surely those who would molest the peace of the poor hae ne'er rightly
tasted the blessing of beholding the confidence with which they trust
themselves in the watches of the night, and amidst the perils of their
barren lot." And I felt my heart thaw again into charity with all men,
and I was thankful for the delight.
As I was thus tasting again the luxury of gentle thoughts, a band of
five dragoons came along the road, and Joseph said to me that they were
the same who had been quartered in our house. I looked at them as they
passed by, but they turned their heads aside.
"I wonder," said my son, "that they did na speak to me: I thought they
had a black look."
"No doubt, Joseph," was my answer, "the men are no lost to a' sense of
shame. They canna but be rebuked at the sight of a man that, maybe
against their will, poor fellows, they were sent to oppress."
"I dinna like them the day, father, they're unco like ill-doers," said
the thoughtful and observing stripling.
But my spirit was at the time full of good-will towards all men, and I
reasoned with him against giving way to unkind thoughts, expounding, to
the best of my ability, the nature of Gospel-charity, and the
heavenlyness of good-will, saying to him,--
"The nature of charity's like the light o' the sun, by which all things
are cherished. It is the brightness of the soul, and the glorious
quality which proves our celestial descent. Our other feelings are
common to a' creatures, but the feeling of charity is divine. It's the
only thing in which man partakes of the nature of God."
Discoursing in this scriptural manner, we reached the Gowan-brae. My
heart beat high with gladness. My son bounded forward to tell his mother
and sisters of my coming. On gaining the brow of the hill he leapt from
the ground with a frantic cry and clasped his hands. I ran towards
him--but I remember no more--though at times something crosses my mind,
and I have wild visions of roofless walls, and a crowd of weeping women
and silent men digging among ashes, and a beautiful body, all dropping
wet, brought on a deal from the mill-dam, and of men, as it was carried
by, seizing me by the arms and tying my hands,--and then I fancy myself
in a house fastened to a chair;--and sometimes I think I was lifted out
and placed to beek in the sun and to taste the fresh air. But what these
things import I dare only guess, for no one has ever told me what became
of my benign Sarah Lochrig and our two blooming daughters;--all is
phantasma that I recollect of the day of my return home. I said my soul
was iron, and my heart converted into stone. O that they were indeed so!
But sorrowing is a vain thing, and my task must not stand still.
When I left Ayr the leaves were green, and the fields gay, and the
waters glad; and when the yellow leaf rustled on the ground, and the
waters were drumly, and the river roaring, I was somehow, I know not by
what means, in the kirk-yard, and a film fell from the eyes of my
reason, and I looked around, and my little boy had hold of me by the
hand, and I said to him, "Joseph, what's yon sae big and green in our
lair?" and he gazed in my face, and the tears came into his eyes, and he
replied,--
"Father, they are a' in the same grave." I took my hand out of his;--I
walked slowly to the green tomb;--I knelt down, and I caused my son to
kneel beside me, and I vowed enmity for ever against Charles Stuart and
all of his line; and I prayed, in the words of the Psalmist, that when
he was judged he might be condemned. Then we rose; but my son said to
me,--
"Father, I canna wish his condemnation; but I'll fight by your side till
we have harlt him down from his bloody throne."
And I felt that I had forgotten I was a Christian, and I again knelt
down and prayed, but it was for the sin I had done in the vengeance of
the latter clause. "Nevertheless, Lord," I then cried, "as Thou Thyself
didst take the sceptre from Saul, and gave the crown to David, make me
an instrument to work out the purposes of Thy dreadful justice, which in
time will come to be."
Then I rose again, and went towards the place where my home had been;
but when I saw the ruins I ran back to the kirk-yard, and threw myself
on the grave, and cried to the earth to open and receive me.
But the Lord had heard my prayer, and while I lay there he sent down his
consoling angel, and the whirlwind of my spirit was calmed, and I
remembered the promise of my son to fight by my side, and I rose to
prepare myself for the warfare.
While I was lying on the ground several of the neighbours had heard my
wild cries, and came into the kirk-yard; but by that time the course of
the tempest had been staid, and they stood apart with my son, who told
them I was come again to myself, and they thought they ought not to
disturb me; when, however, they saw me rise, they drew near and spoke
kindly to me, and Zachariah Smylie invited me to go back with him to his
house; for it was with him that I had been sheltered during the frenzy.
But I said,--
"No: I will neither taste meat nor drink, nor seek to rest myself, till
I have again a sword." And I entreated him to give me a little money,
that, with my son, we might go into Irvine and provide ourselves with
weapons.
The worthy man looked very sorrowful to hear me so speak, and some of
the others, that were standing by, began to reason with me, and to
represent the peril of any enterprise at that time. But I pointed to the
grave, and said,--
"Friens, do you ken what's in yon place, and do ye counsel me to peace?"
At which words they turned aside and shook their heads; and Zachariah
Smylie went and brought me a purse of money, which having put into my
bosom, I took my son by the hand, and bidding them all farewell, we
walked to the town silently together, and I thought of my brother's
words in his grief, that the speed of lightning was slow to the wishes
of revenge.