"The actors are at hand; and by their show you shall all know that
you are like to know."
--MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
"We got into Bungtown early next day. I went at once to the theatre.
There I was happy to learn that the advance sale was good and the
prospects for the evening's performance A1. We opened to a full house,
and the audience appeared to enjoy the entertainment. The following
evening did not pan out quite so well, in consequence of a torchlight
procession through the streets and a big Grand Army parade. The night
after--our farewell performance. Great Scott! A rainstorm thinned the
attendance to the proportions of a fashionable church in the metropolis
during summer, when the popular preacher is absent on vacation abroad,
seeking after the health he never lost. How I felt can be better
imagined than described. I was up against it for fair. As I told you, I
was unable to settle the hotel bill at the last town, and in addition we
had now the handicap of an extra hotel and railroad fare for Breadland's
clerk, who according to agreement was to travel with the show until the
whole account with Breadland was squared up."
"The prospects were not encouraging."
"No; but we managed, somehow or other, to get out of town; though when
everything was fixed, including a few dollars to Breadland on account,
it was a close shave. Fortunately, the railroad fares to our next stand
were light and we had three days there. It was in that sylvan retreat by
the flowing river we nearly met our Waterloo. Speak of bad business. It
was something weird."
"Misfortune and you must have been running a race."
"Yes, with the filly away in the lead. But we managed to play right on.
Sunday morning found me once more _hors de combat_, with another hotel
bill unpaid and an almost empty treasury to meet it. I nearly gave up in
despair. Remembering, however, that despair never yet pulled a man out
of a hole, in sheer desperation I resolved once more to fall back on the
expedient that carried us over the sea of troubles that beset us before
we reached Bungtown."
"Great Heavens! you don't mean to say you proposed to carry another
hotel clerk on your staff?" queried Fogg.
"I had to do something. Necessity is the prompter of ingenuity, and the
suggestion came from that source. There is no use in going further into
detail. I convinced the landlord and secured another secretary of the
treasury to look after the income, and we got out of town next morning
as happy as clams at high water. Well, without mincing matters, I must
say we had as rough a road to travel any band of poor strolling
Thespians ever struck."
"Misfortune still in the lead?"
"I should say so. Listen. We ran into the Gulf Stream of a red-hot
political campaign, and I needn't tell you these torchlight processions,
firework displays, and fife and drum corps knock the life out of the
show business. Where we made a few dollars in one place we dropped them
in another. Had it not been for a small reserve fund I had carefully
treasured up for extra hazardous emergencies and my peculiar talent and
diplomacy in dealing with hotel men, I verily believe it would have
taken us all the winter to have reached a hospitable haven of relief,
for the walking was wretched and Western railroad ties too far apart for
decent pedestrianism."
"By Jove!" smiled Fogg, "you must have had an anxious time from the word
go."
"Oh, that goes without saying. I managed to pull through and reached
good warm-hearted Chicago with nine hotel clerks on my staff, all acting
as treasurers, assistant treasurers, auditors, ticket-sellers,
bookkeepers and financial agents, each one wondering why the box office
department was receiving accessions to its ranks in the face of such bad
business."
"An' did they never tumble to the little joker?"
"Well, I candidly admit it required the exercise of considerable tact to
keep them in complete ignorance of the true situation."
"Of that I have not the slightest doubt."
Handy was silent a moment.
"Fogg, did you ever worry over a promoter's prospectus of a proposed
financial scheme prepared for the edification of the public with the
laudable intention of separating people from their money?"
"Some," answered Fogg, slightly mystified at the change Handy had given
to the conversation.
"That being the case, you can call to mind how eloquently the promoter
labors to convince prospective investors how they can get in on the
ground floor and lay the foundation of a fortune to be made out of a
hole in the ground?"
"I've heard of such things."
"Do you know how it was done?"
"Search me."
"Well, I, too, can do a little in that line myself. I did some of the
most expert word painting to my assistant financial agents or their
representatives and held them together and in good fellowship until I
reached my harbor."
"If the question is not an indelicate one," said Fogg hesitatingly,
"might I inquire if you ever paid up?"
"Every dollar," quickly responded Handy. "When we reached Chicago we
struck smooth water and entered upon a prosperous sea for four weeks.
Money fairly poured into our coffers. One by one I sent each hotel clerk
back to his employer, with a check for the money I owed him in his
pocket and a receipted bill in mine. I squared up with every one I was
indebted to. You know when we make money we make it fast."
"And part with it as readily," added his friend.
"That has nothing to do with the case, my boy. Now, let me ask you if
you think I told you this moving tale of ups and downs for the mere fun
of its recital, do you?"
"Well, partly fun, kill time, and partly to a--a--a----"
"Yes, go on. Partly to a--a--a----what? Why don't you finish the
sentence?"
"To illustrate the principle of a novel way to pay old debts, eh?"
"Right you are," replied Handy emphatically. "And let me add, so far as
you are personally concerned----" For the first time during the
narration he looked thoroughly in earnest.
"I'm listening."
"When you ever get in a bad box or are up against it, don't lay down and
brood over the hardship, but set to work with a will to get square with
your troubles as becomes a man."