ENTITLED _AL-WUKALÁ_, OR THE LAWYERS
When the nephews next entered their uncle’s presence at the Hour of
Public Executions, it was in a subdued manner, as to a funeral, for
their thoughts were full of that Great Loss, the story of which was
in progress. They sat upon the floor before him in due order, and
Mahmoud began:
“Upon the dawn that followed that hopeless night, my hopes were again
raised, only for my further bitterness and disappointment. I had
risen before day and gone out of doors. A chance acquaintance ran
across me as I paced aimlessly in the narrow streets of the city,
watching the shadows shortening under the rising sun, listening
to the clear voices of the water-sellers and to the cries of the
mariners at their calling.
“This acquaintance was one learned in the law. Not that he was
himself a scrivener, or pleader, still less a judge--on the contrary,
he was born wealthy, and those so circumstanced are (in Izmat)
very much averse to the tedium of a profession. But in youth he
had been compelled by his grandfather to read whole libraries of
books upon the legal system of his beloved country, and had further
been compelled to pay considerable sums to one of the most renowned
pleaders of the day in whose office he had passed three miserable
years. Seeing he was so educated, and knowing well my misfortunes,
he kindly took me by the arm (I could not help suspecting a certain
patronage) and said:
“‘Alas, my poor Mahmoud! How we do all feel for you! And how we
respect the way in which you have borne inevitable misfortune!
But though I praise you as much as any other for your conduct
and resignation, do you not push it a little too far? We, the
free inhabitants of this our beloved Izmat, have a most glorious
privilege, which is, that not the King himself (the glory of Allah be
upon him) has any privilege as against the humblest of his subjects,
when it comes to the issue of law. Our judges, as you know, stand
above all mortal frailty and are, as we devoutly and firmly believe,
filled with the spirit of God Himself. Though His Majesty and his
Ministers be your opponents in a case, that case will be decided
with serene indifference to the position or wealth or power of the
parties. You believe this, do you not?’ he insisted earnestly, for
doubts upon so final a doctrine of religion are horrible to the
imperial race of Izmat.
“‘Yes, I believe it,’ said I with a sigh, though I confess that my
short acquaintance with misfortune had shaken me in many points of
loyalty to my new country.
“‘Why, then,’ said he, ‘do you not come into Court with your plaint?
Our lawyers have the skill to discover a claim in anything, and you
may be sure that all that can be said in your favour would be allowed
in the freest manner, and if there is a single loophole, the whole or
part of your former fortunes may be restored at whatever cost. For
it is a maxim peculiar to our island law that if a case is decided in
favour of the plaintiff, then the plaintiff has the decision in his
favour.’
“I confess that my acquaintance with the manners and habits of the
foreign people among whom I had had the wretched luck to be born
had made me think it futile indeed to approach the august judges in
a matter where a king was concerned, or to ask relief from State
officials for what the State had done to me. He stoutly denied the
idea I had that the judges were State officials. Said he: ‘Have you
never read the famous oath which every judge makes on taking office?
Do you not know how we elect him?’
“‘Yes,’ said I, in tones which betrayed no enthusiasm, ‘I know
indeed how the judges are appointed and the oath they take. They are
appointed--(how often have I not seen the Firman signed in Council!
How often have I not affixed my own poor name to it!)--they are
appointed, as the rule goes, “_by his Sacred Majesty, that is, by
the familiars, the wives, and the secretaries of the Richest Men,
indifferently_.” Such are the very words of the Statute.’
“‘You answer rightly,’ said my friend, with a noble carriage of his
head. ‘Surely so impartial a source of office must make you feel
secure! On the odious Mainland the king appoints his own judges: it
is a tyranny to which we in Izmat have long refused to submit. _Our_
Monarch is the ruler of free men! He would disdain to influence an
appointment. He leaves that to his gentry, and they, in turn, leave
it to their women and other dependents. Thus we alone of all nations
secure a Bench of judges wholly independent! But there is more: Have
you forgotten the oath they take, my friend--the oath they take on
appointment?’
“‘No,’ said I, still wearily. ‘I remember it well enough. Indeed, I
have it all by heart, for I have read it a hundred times:--“_I swear
by the Almighty God and by the contents of this book that I will
not depart from justice in anything, either for orders, or favours,
or personal advantage, or any consideration whatsoever, save in the
political interests of my class or family, of the Lawyers’ Guild to
which I belong, or for such other considerations as may occur to
me._”’
“‘That is right!’ said my friend in triumphant tones. ‘Well, can you
want a better guarantee?’
“‘No,’ said I, ‘I suppose not.’
“‘Well, then,’ he cried, rising, ‘let me take you to a friend of
mine among the most able Scriveners of the city, and be assured that
whatever can be done for you will be done.’
“‘I have no great part of my fortune left,’ said I timidly, rising as
he did, but unwilling to follow him.
“‘Fear nothing,’ he returned heartily. ‘Justice in Izmat is not
bought and sold. There are, of course, certain necessary fees. But
the law compels you to hire no pleader. You can appear yourself in
Court. That freedom is one of our great privileges; and, believe me,
you will be heard as patiently and directed as honestly as though you
were one of the greatest pleaders in the city.’
“Half persuaded by such insistence, I followed my friend to a house
where, seated in the midst of commentaries upon the law, of metal
boxes containing the shameful secrets of great families and the
record of their indebtedness, sat an elderly man, whose face reminded
me, I know not why, of a vulture.
“‘I have brought you, Kazib,’ said he, ‘a client. You will recognize
him, I think.’
“‘I do, indeed,’ said the Scrivener, rising gravely and bowing to me.
‘He is no less than My Lord the Councillor Mahmoud.’
“‘The title is superfluous now,’ said I a little sadly.
“The Scrivener, however, continued to give it to me in his great
courtesy, and when my friend had left us together, I poured out my
story. As the more important details fell from my lips my host jotted
them down upon a small tablet with a fine quill that he carried. When
I had concluded he spoke as follows:
“‘Such a case as yours would appear first in the Court of Sweetmeats.’
“‘Of Sweetmeats?’ said I.
“‘It is an old term,’ said he. ‘We love these historic traditions.’
“‘Exactly,’ I answered humbly.
“‘Well, it would appear, I say, in the Court of Sweetmeats.’
“‘Yes,’ said I.
“‘After it had gone to the Court of Sweetmeats, it would almost
certainly be transferred to the Court of Wrecks, Lighthouses and
Divorce, or to the Department of Wills.’
“‘Indeed?’ said I.
“‘It is so,’ said the Scrivener. ‘Whichever of these dealt with
it, an appeal would lie, of course, to a superior court, which is
generally known as the Court of Mules.’
“‘Why is...’ I began.
“‘Oh, sir!’ interrupted the Scrivener, with some impatience, ‘these
things are immaterial! We must use such historic names.... From
this Court again the appeal would lie, of course, to His Majesty in
Council, which is the supreme authority of the land.’
“‘What,’ said I, ‘to His Majesty in Council--the very authors of the
injustice?’
“‘Of course,’ said the Scrivener.
“‘But,’ said I, ‘if the verdict is in my favour, what reason should I
have for appealing?’
“‘None,’ said he, simply. ‘But your opponents would.’
“‘My opponents are the King and his Council,’ said I.
“‘In quite another aspect,’ said the Scrivener, looking on the ground
and falling silent. ‘Under these circumstances,’ said he, after a
pause, ‘you will do very well to proceed.’
“‘But,’ said I, ‘in case these appeals...’
“He waved his hands. ‘We will not talk of appeals yet,’ he said
quickly. ‘After all, you lose nothing by first instance. Have you
your Charter with you?’
“I said I had, and brought it out for him. He read it slowly,
consulted a book for a moment, and then said:
“‘An excellent case!’ (you may judge, my dear nephews, how my heart
leapt at these words!) ‘An excellent case!... You have your Charter
and its terms are clear. By it there is bound to be paid to you and
your heirs for ever the revenue from the Salt Tax, and the issue will
lie, I think, upon whether the clause implies payment undiminished
and perpetual, or whether the recent Proclamations make a gumbo-rumbo
of the original.’
“‘A what?’ said I.
“‘It is a legal term,’ said he, a little wearily, ‘and signifies a
mixalum-malory or general contortation.... But let us not at this
stage go into technicalities of that sort. We must first state our
case.’
“‘Precisely,’ said I.
“‘My own fee,’ said he, ‘is fixed by statute, and I must ask you for
ten dinars--a nominal matter.’ With this, before I could stop him, he
seized a large metal disc, wet a corner of a parchment, put the disc
upon it, struck it with a hammer, and then held out his hand for the
fee. Luckily I had my pouch with me, and so, very reluctantly, paid
over this first drop of my disastrous leakage.
“‘Good!’ said the Scrivener. ‘We must next ask the opinion of two
eminent Pleaders.’
“‘Why?’ said I.
“‘The law demands it,’ said the Scrivener.
“‘But you have already given me yours, and told me it is worth my
while to proceed.’
“‘My opinion,’ said the Scrivener, shaking his head vigorously, ‘may
serve to guide you, indeed; but it would be altogether irregular to
go into court upon that alone. So, I will draw up a statement, as we
call it, and have it put before two men of the first standing--it is
always better in these cases to use the highest talent. In the long
run it is worth while.’
“I asked timidly how much this further step would cost, and was
somewhat relieved to learn that fifty dinars to each of these eminent
men would be sufficient. He asked me to return on the third day when
he would give me the responses; and he particularly reminded me that
I should upon that occasion not forget to bring with me at least 150
dinars.
“‘But why the other fifty?’ said I.
“‘Stamps and fees,’ said the Scrivener shortly, and then, with
infinite courtesy, dismissed me from his presence.
“On the third day I returned, bearing with me the 150 dinars from
my little hoard, which I put upon the Scrivener’s table to save all
further difficulties in the matter. He poured the money meditatively
into a little metal case, beautifully engraved, and dating, I should
say, from the second century of the Flight of the Prophet; it was
probably (to my practised eye) of Syrian workmanship.
“‘Here,’ said he, ‘are the responses.’
“‘Have you them written?’ said I.
“‘No,’ said he. ‘We must wait for that. The first Pleader, by name
the Most Noble Ghadder, is of the opinion that you have a case
founded upon the great principle of our Common Law, of which you,
perhaps, as a foreigner, have not heard--it is the principle that
“The subjects of the King can suffer no wrong.” But he warns you
against relying upon the Statute passed in the first year of His
Majesty’s father’s reign, called “A Statute for the Prevention of
the Loss of Money by the Rich.” For this has been the subject of
so many contradictory decisions that it is a very poor ground. He
says, further, that there are certain case precedents which are
interesting, and two of which, at least, in his judgment, could be
urged upon your side. In one of these it was decided that if a man
had more than a certain income no Order or Proclamation should be
regarded as capable of prejudicing him or reducing his wealth. The
question would thus lie as to whether or no at the time when the
first change took place you fell within these limits. The second
Pleader is of an exactly opposite opinion. He says ...’
“‘It is enough!’ said I. ‘The first learned Pleader shall be my
guide. I am content to hear from him that I have a good case, which
doubtless he will continue for me in court.’
“‘What?’ said the Scrivener, in astonishment, ‘do you suppose that
such men lend their valuable services in court for fifty dinars?’
“‘Evidently,’ said I, ‘as they have been so kind as to give opinions
with such nicety!’
“The Scrivener laughed as heartily as such men can, and begged me
to be disabused. ‘These are but the formal stages. The hiring of
pleaders is quite another matter. Let me proceed to the second
response. The second Pleader, the Most Noble Makhar--who, it may
interest you to know, is a negro by descent--we have many such at
our Bar, they have marvellous abilities, that strange race--is of
an opinion, I say, exactly contrary to the other. He thinks your
chance under the Common Law very doubtful. But he thinks you are
secure under the Statute passed for the Prevention of Cruelty to the
Important--that is its general title--dated from the first year of
the reign of His Majesty’s late father. All the cases, he says, are
against you; but the general principle of the Statute stands.’
“When I had heard all this I said, ‘Oh!’
“The old Scrivener gazed down at the floor between his feet, where he
sat upon his rug, and I gazed down at mine, not knowing what next to
say.
“‘My fee for this second interview,’ said he pleasantly, after what
he thought was a sufficient interval, ‘is the same as for the first,
ten dinars.’
“‘I have not brought them with me,’ I said, having only brought the
150 dinars previously asked for.
“‘It is nothing, My Lord,’ he answered, waving his hand majestically
(and again, I thought, as in the case of my friend, with a touch
of patronage). ‘We all know and respect your position of late
Councillor, and I should be the last to press you.’
“I begged him to wait a moment until I should return. I hurried to
my wretched lodgings and quickly came back with the sum which he
required. He put it into the little metal box. I thought he was ready
to dismiss me, and I was about to ask on what date the case might
first be tried, when he said, to my surprise:
“‘But we must first have Pleader’s Opinion.’
“‘But, Great Heavens!’ said I, ‘have we not got it?’
“‘Why, no,’ said he. ‘We have not yet a Pleader’s Opinion. We have,
so far, only the Opinion of Pleaders.’
“‘And what in the name of Fatimeh and Katisha is the difference?’
“‘Surely,’ said he, ‘you have heard of the distinction? The Opinion
of Pleaders is the verbal response to the Scrivener, but the law
requires that another response shall be added in writing, and this we
call Pleader’s Opinion.’
“Once more I could find no other commentary but a cry.
“‘And at what cost?’ I moaned in a hollow voice.
“He turned to a written list of fees, then to a special memorandum
of his own. He made a short calculation upon an abacus and answered,
‘three hundred dinars.’
“I kept my mouth from blasphemy and asked him when the sum would be
required.
“‘It is a mere formality,’ said he, ‘this written opinion, but we
must have a record.’
“‘Yes, yes,’ said I.
“‘And I will,’ said he, ‘take the opportunity of obtaining the same
before you come again.’
“Once more I returned to my disgusting rooms, took money from my
secret hoard and, returning, put into the Scrivener’s hands a little
parcel of 300 dinars. He dropped them thoughtfully through his
fingers in little streams till they nearly filled his metal box.
“‘It is a pretty box, is it not?’ he said. ‘I took it for a bad debt
from one of my clients, who most unfortunately died by his own hand
in a fit of melancholy after the most distressing disappointments in
his suits at law.’
“‘And as to the date?’ I said.
“‘The date?’ Once more he consulted another document, then clapped
his hands for the slave who sat in his outer apartment, and having
asked him a question in some incomprehensible jargon, received an
answer no less mysterious. Then he turned to me and said: ‘It will
come on at some date after the next New Moon but one.’
“‘Cannot I have a precise date?’ said I, for I was thinking anxiously
of my diminishing capital and wondering how long I could maintain my
poor life before my cash should be completely exhausted.
“‘That is obviously impossible,’ he answered with a touch of
indignation, which he evidently thought merited. ‘No man can say
how long the cases before yours will last, nor in what order it may
please His Holiness the Judge to take them. It will probably come,
by the way,’ said he, peering at another list, ‘before His Holiness
Benshaitan.’
“With that I left him and waited my call to the Court.
“The time dragged wearily enough. I ate most sparingly and bought
no raiment, nor even any game to pass my time, but my little stock
dwindled day by day. My hours were spent gazing upon the busy life of
the port, or sometimes standing on the edge of the pier and staring
out to sea, as though I could read in the distant mainland beyond the
horizon some hopes of a better fortune and a life restored. Daily,
as the time approached for my case to be heard, as the second New
Moon grew with every evening brighter in the last of its crescent,
I consulted officials of the Court. I discovered it was customary
to give each some small sum of five or six dinars before they would
answer a question. It was upon the twelfth day, the moon being
nearly full, that the case before mine (which turned upon whether a
man without means should owe for a debt or should postpone payment,
and had lasted five exciting days,) was concluded. I heard that the
precedent created was of the first importance, but would be subject
to appeal.
“The sun sank. It was with the morrow that my case was to be called.
“I rose on that eventful day long before dawn. I put on my raiment
with the utmost care, after having cleansed it with my own hands to
make it as presentable as possible, lest the poverty of my appearance
should in some way prejudice me. I had already given notice that I
would appear myself; for the fees asked by the Pleaders were quite
beyond the poor remnant of my purse. I must confess that I had been
strongly dissuaded from such action, but I had no choice. I found a
great crowd assembled, for my name was familiar to all through the
position I had enjoyed in the past; and it is ever of an absorbing
interest to watch the miseries of another.
“I took my seat at a place reserved for me immediately opposite the
bench. I noted on my right the Pleaders chosen by the Council, and
beyond, among the spectators, not a few of my former colleagues.
“The Pleaders were arranged in the vestments proper to their great
function, resembling the priests of a religion, and bearing upon
their heads, I noticed, what they never showed outside, a strange
headgear of mule skin with twisted hair and long, furry ears. The
Judge, I saw, was clothed in the most magnificent cloth of gold,
inscribed with the sacred texts and loaded with furs of such rare
animals as the sacred Rat, the white Jackal of Thibet, and the Skunk,
and bore upon his head a crown, which he lifted three times as a
salute to the Court, while all fell prostrate before him, murmuring
in a buzz of low, prayerful whispers their praise and incantation to
him as the representative of God.
“These ceremonies concluded, there was a bustle of men rising and
taking their seats upon the rugs of the court, the Judge himself upon
a sort of throne overlooking the whole, and the proceedings began.
“A short man stood in front of the Judge’s throne, who rose and
piped in a shrill voice, ‘Mahmoud claims against the King.’ He then
sat down, and from sundry pushes and jerks which I received from my
friends, including the Scrivener, who was kind enough to accompany me
to the Court, I saw that I was expected to rise from my carpet and
put my case.
“I said: ‘Your Holiness and Voice of God’ (for such is the formula
required, as a kind friend had warned me: and if one word be omitted
the culprit is not only forbidden to plead but is thrust into a
dungeon of the most noisome kind). ‘Your Holiness,’ I opened, ‘and
Voice of God. I had from the King and his Councillors a Charter.
It was given me as against one million dinars paid to them in gold
by me on such and such a date. I shall show the Charter to you, and
you will see there the promise that I am to receive, as against the
payment I made, the revenue from the Salt Tax for ever and ever, so
long as the State shall endure and the tax be levied. This tax has
been in great part remitted, and by special imposts the remaining
part has been wiped out. I claim that this Charter gives me the right
to the original revenue from the State in full.’ And I then concluded
with the magic formula with which my friends had very kindly provided
me, ‘_and that, Divine One, is my case_.’ This formality completed, I
sat down.
“I flattered myself I had done well, for all had been told with
perfect ease, and, after all, there was nothing more to be said. But
before I took my place, cross-legged upon my carpet, I handed up to
those who served the Bench my original of the Charter, signed and
sealed, the which I had consulted. The Judge rose from the throne
where he was seated, put the Charter down carefully upon his throne,
sat upon it, and ordered the case to proceed.
“In the chief of the Pleaders upon the other side, I was pleased
to see an old guest of mine. He nodded to me familiarly, rose, and
opened his statement, beginning, as I did, with the ritual phrase.
‘Your Holiness and Voice of God,’ said he, ‘His Majesty and Council
have instructed me. I admit that this is a case of peculiar subtlety
and difficulty, nor do I doubt that it will employ many of my
colleagues, not only in this Court but in superior courts, for many
months to come. Indeed, to my certain knowledge, one of them has
recently purchased a marvellous vehicle which travels rapidly of its
own act without horses, a foreign invention, in which he would not
have invested had he not foreseen the lengthy and lucrative nature of
the case. But that is by the way. I only mention it in order to make
Your Holiness understand that we have here to settle an issue which
indeed could hardly have been brought before any Judge less divine
than yourself.’
“There followed for about a quarter of an hour a fine passage upon
the majesty of the law and the peculiar gifts and virtues of the
Judges. But through the whole of it he insisted in every second
sentence upon the gravity of the case and its difficulty. I was
flattered and surprised. I had not thought that my opponents would
make so much of me; but, on the other hand, I remembered that their
payment was at the charge of the public and that every day added to
the sum they received. He next touched upon the folly of the Salt
Tax, its iniquity, its old-fashionedness, its absurdity, and after an
hour of this paused a moment to pull down and smooth the long furry
ears of his headgear.
“In the second hour he brought in the very words of the Charter.
He first recited them, ‘_for ever and for ever, so long as the
State shall endure and the salt tax be paid_.’ He insisted, with
repeated emphasis, upon the word ‘_and_’. In the third and fourth
hours he quoted 150 instances of cases in which this word had
completely changed the character of a document, as, for instance,
in the famous case known as Abraham’s Will, where the testator left
all his property to his beloved wife, Fatimah, _and_ the remainder
to her mother. Next, he quoted the case known as the ‘Degree of
Dignity,’ when it was ordered that all those apprehended for speaking
disrespectfully of the Grand Mufti should be brought into his
presence _and_ decapitated. Again (what interested me very much, for
it was connected with Money), the terms of the statute, now over
one hundred years old, by which the Councillors of the King receive
one dinar per day _and_ whatever other sum they see fit to vote
themselves out of the taxes.
“It was the word ‘_and_,’ said he, that made the difference in all
these cases. He might call witnesses to show that the word was
inserted in the Charter to render the phrase abortive, absurd,
nonsensical and altogether of no effect. But, alternatively,
supposing that the word ‘_and_’ but confirmed my case in the decision
of His Holiness, then he pleaded that the Charter, having been
obtained by a stranger, not a subject of the King, was null and void.
Supposing that it were upheld in spite of this, then, alternatively,
that I, Mahmoud, was a subject of the King, a native born, and
therefore subject to the King’s decisions in Council. Finally, he
concluded that in any case I must not win because, if I did, it would
make His Majesty’s Council and members thereof look like a fool
severally and collectively, than which no more deplorable thing could
happen to the State. Further, even if His Holiness should decide that
it mattered not a rusty nail whether the Council were made to look
fools or no, there was, anyhow, no money to pay me. This established
a default contumax and a discharge in alias of the second degree. I
give his exact words, for I noted them at the time, and could guess
vaguely that they must be of grave import. When he got so far I
noticed a great commotion among his colleagues. Every man in court
wore an expression of strained attention mixed with admiration,
and the Judge himself could not withhold from his august features
something of the same tribute to this Genius of Debate.
“‘Note also, Your Holiness,’ continued the Pleader, wagging his
arched forefinger (which was long and pointed) very significantly
in the air, ‘the contumax in advert to subvert ... and the same
regardant.’ He added in a sort of sneering tone: ‘I will not weary
the Court with that’ (I could see that the Judge nodded), ‘but even
the plaintiff, learned as he is in the law, will admit,’ and here
he turned and addressed me with a very contemptuous expression,
‘that plevin would not obtain in the case of recognisance, or at any
rate in the defection thereof would be docketed as an endorsement
pursuant. An endorsement pursuant would stand void,’ he continued,
with a renewed interest in his tone (he now excited a feverish
attention in his audience), ‘for that is in the very foundation, I
take it, of our law of terce and perinomy and has been upheld by a
long succession of your Holiness’s predecessors from the origins of
our Sacred Lawyers’ Guild.’
“Here again I thought I noticed the trace of an uncertain nod from
the august figure upon the bench. ‘It comes, therefore,’ concluded
this eloquent man, ‘in plain words, to this: we rely on the terms
general, and the reference particular, each interconnected, and
certainly maintain that guaranty lies overt.’ Here he stopped dead,
and then added in simple and lower tones: ‘That is my case.’ Then he
sat down. I am told it was one of the most marvellous efforts in all
the history of the Lawyers’ Guild.
“Applause may be permitted even in the Mosque or the most sacred of
Shrines, but not in the august presence of the law. Yet it was with
difficulty that the enraptured pleaders present, the scriveners and
their attendants, could forbear from open praise. A man whom I did
not know and who sat next to me, cross-legged, upon his mat, one of
the pleaders, I think (for he also wore the mule skin with long,
furry ears upon his head), muttered to me that it was the finest
opening he had heard since Achmet had opened for the Sheik-ul-Musrim
in the Oyster Case, and that was saying a great deal.
“When this great Pleader had sat down there was a complete silence
in court, which lasted for some time and seemed to me a little
embarrassing. At last I perceived that I was in some way the object
of too much attention, and my friend the Scrivener leant over with
the suggestion that I should call my witnesses. ‘But I have none,’
whispered I over my shoulder in great trepidation. ‘I have my
Charter. That is enough, is it not?’
“The Scrivener shrugged his shoulders as though in despair, and left
me to my fate.
“Then was it that I heard the voice of the great Judge booming into
my ears. ‘What evidence is there for the plaintiff?’
“I rose trembling. ‘I have given you all I have, Your Holiness.’
“‘You have given me none,’ thundered that tremendous personage. ‘All
you have done is to make an opening plea.’
“‘I thought,’ stammered I, ‘that I had stated all that I had to
state.’
“The Judge glanced round at his fellow lawyers with a look of
despair, then leaning forward, with a sort of tenderness in his tone,
he said: ‘Be good enough to mount the Sacred Stool reserved for the
witnesses.’ With that a little block of wood was brought forward,
and upon it I mounted, and so stood conscious and foolish before the
Court.
“His Holiness the Judge leaned back on his throne and surveyed me
with the contempt I deserved, nor did he repress the little titter
that ran through the assembly. An official squatted in front of the
throne put a scroll into my hand, bade me put it to my forehead and
repeat after him certain words, the sense of which I lost in my
perturbation. But I did as I was bidden. After that I remained dumb.
‘Well,’ said His Holiness, sharply, after a long pause, ‘how much
longer are we to wait?’
“‘Pray, your Godship, what would you have?’ said I.
“‘I would have your evidence,’ said the Judge.
“‘I have no evidence to give,’ I tremblingly replied, ‘save what you
have already heard.’
“‘I have heard none,’ said he, and again the titter went round the
court.
“Moved to action, I repeated exactly what I had said before, that the
words were what they were in the Charter, the clause was what it was.
I repeated it point by point.
“The Judge turned to the Pleader who had just sat down and said:
‘Now, brother Selim,’ whereupon my former friend and guest rose,
looked me up and down in a very offensive manner from head to foot
three or four times, and cried:
“‘You drunken scoundrel! Do you still maintain the abominable
falsehood which you have had the insolence to lay before the Court?’
“I said there was no falsehood, but the truth.
“‘The truth!’ he sneered. ‘Remember, pray, that you have taken an
oath in the name of the Scroll, and trivial as this may seem to a man
of your depraved character, others take the matter more seriously.’
“I stood silent under the rebuke and waited his further words.
“‘Well, well,’ said he suddenly, ‘where were you half an hour after
sunrise on the fourth day of the Fast of Ramadan in the three hundred
and seventh year from the Flight of the Prophet?’
“As I stood aghast at the question, he touched one hand significantly
with the finger of the other and said, ‘I do not wish to press you.’
“‘I have not the least idea,’ said I.
“The Pleader glanced significantly at the Judge and then continued:
“‘You haven’t the least idea? Can you tell me approximately where you
were?’
“‘No, I cannot,’ said I. ‘It is very long ago, and I was but a young
and innocent child.’
“Here the Judge interrupted me sharply: ‘We are not concerned with
your young and innocent childhood. Answer the question, if you
please, and make no speeches.’
“The Pleader consulted his notes, looked up to me again and said:
‘You have told us the Charter was signed in your presence and
delivered over to you.’
“‘Yes,’ said I.
“‘Don’t answer,’ interrupted His Holiness, sharply, ‘until you are
asked a question.’
“‘No,’ said I.
“‘Take great care, witness,’ said His Holiness in a menacing voice.
‘Take very great care!’
“‘Thank You, your Holiness,’ said the Pleader. ‘And now, sir,’ said
he, addressing me in a very firm tone indeed, as though he had caught
red-handed some thief creeping in to his household, ‘will you please
tell us where is that Charter now? Can you produce it?’
“‘His Holiness is sitting on it,’ said I, simply.
“Here the Judge almost rose from his throne, so strongly was he moved.
“‘Were you not a layman and naturally ignorant of the forms of the
Court, I should condemn you to some very severe penalty,’ said he. ‘I
make allowance for your lack of custom; but I warn you, you may go
too far.’
“‘I will pass over the last remark, witness,’ continued the Pleader
in dignified tones. ‘I think you were not quite yourself when you
made it. Will you be good enough to answer my question? Where is the
Charter now?’
“‘Well,’ said I, all bewildered, ‘I handed it up for His Holiness to
see what my case was, and to the best of my belief he----’
“‘Silence,’ thundered the Judge. ‘Brother Selim, I am afraid we shall
get no further on this tack. The witness evidently does not or will
not understand your drift. Allow me to ask him a question.’ He then
turned with a sort of false kindness upon his face and said to me in
measured tones: ‘What we want to know is, where is the Charter upon
which you claim?’
“‘I put it into Court...’ I began.
“At this the Judge gave a little gesture of despair and sighed. Then
he spoke.
“‘It is a principle of the law of this country,’ said His Holiness,
leaning back in apparent weariness as though he were instructing a
child, ‘I should have thought a principle known even to the meanest
of His Majesty’s subjects, that a document must be proved. Have you
proved the Charter of which you speak?’
“‘I don’t know what you mean, Your Holiness,’ said I, in very genuine
fear.
“The Judge leaned forward towards me and said in measured tones:
‘Remember that I am treating you leniently. I am doing what I can for
you, I understand the difficulty of your position. Take care! Take
very great care! Brother Selim, have you any other questions to ask?’
“‘I have one or two of some consequence, if I may be allowed, Your
Holiness?’
“‘Certainly, brother Selim. Pray continue. We are all ears.’
“The Pleader cleared his throat, again consulted his notes, looked up
to me and said: ‘What were your earnings in games of hazard during
the year concluding with the opening of the last Feast of Ramadan?’
“I answered that I had no exact calculation, but that I had small
stomach for such pastimes, and might have won or lost anything
between one hundred and two hundred dinars.
“‘Take care, take very great care!’ said His Holiness, addressing me
again.
“‘Between one or two hundred dinars,’ said the Pleader, in a musing
sort of voice, and I noticed that the Judge was taking a note of my
reply. ‘Now be good enough, you base fellow, to answer me this--and
remember you are upon your oath--have you been in the habit of
cheating at cards, loading dice, stacking packs, palming coins, and
in other ways overreaching those who joined you in what they thought
to be an innocent amusement?’
“I was about to reply when he again thundered at me: ‘Remember you
are upon your oath,’ and His Holiness was moved to add:
“‘Take care, witness, take very great care!’
“‘No,’ said I.
“At this moment I was astonished to see everybody, including the
Pleader, sit down suddenly, cross-legged, upon the floor, while I
stood there upon my little block of wood, most terribly conspicuous.
It was due to a gesture from the Judge.
“‘So far,’ said he, in a solemn and majestic manner, ‘I have allowed
things to take their course, because, as I have said, every latitude
must be allowed to one who is foolish enough to plead his own case.
But the dignity of His Majesty’s Court forbids me to be silent
upon hearing this last reply to a question of the most profound
and searching kind, requiring an adequate reply. The witness has
insolently answered “No”.’ He then turned to me and said, with a
severity that thrilled me to the marrow: ‘This is a Civil Court;
but remember, sir,’ and here he raised his voice in a very terrible
manner, ‘I can impound documents and present all that you have said
to the Lord Prosecutor.’
“‘Yes, Your Holiness,’ said I, now thoroughly at sea.
“‘Proceed,’ said the Judge, simply, to the Pleader.
“‘I have only one more question to ask,’ said the Pleader.
“‘Proceed, proceed, brother Selim,’ said the Judge with geniality.
“‘Do you or do you not suffer from the itch?’
“‘My lord,’ said I, ‘am I really to reply to----’
“His Holiness interrupted me with a violence which I little expected
from one in so exalted a position. ‘Answer the question!’ he shouted,
‘answer the question at once!’
“‘Well,’ said I, ‘to tell the truth, I have some little affection of
the sole of my left foot, but I conceive that with careful attention
and proper medical advice----’
“‘That will do,’ said the Pleader, putting up his hand. ‘We have
heard all we need to hear,’ and he sat down again upon his mat.
“‘Any rebulgence?’ said His Holiness, looking round with a pleasant
smile upon all assembled.
“I had no idea what was meant, but my friend the Scrivener passed me
up a little note, saying, ‘Do you carefully re-examine yourself so as
to undo the effect of this terrible cross-examination.’
“It was all Greek to me, but grasping at a straw I addressed His
Holiness, and said:
“‘Oh, Voice of God and Justice upon earth! I would like to ask myself
certain questions.’
“‘By all means,’ said he graciously. ‘Let me inform you what is the
custom of the Court. You have first to stand and ask yourself the
question; you shall then stand up again and reply to it.’
“Kneeling, I struck the pavement of the court three times with my
forehead as is the custom, and rising again turned towards the empty
space upon the little block of wood and said:
“‘Now, witness, remember you are upon your oath; did you or did you
not receive the Charter from the King and his Council in the terms
you have mentioned?’
“I then leapt upon the little block of wood and turning to the place
I had just occupied, I said:
“‘I did.’
“I then jumped down again (luckily I was still a young man and the
exercise did not affect me or cause me loss of breath) and I asked:
“‘What did you do with that document?’
“I leapt upon the little block of wood again and turned to the place
I had just occupied and answered:
“‘I brought it into court.’
“Once more did I take up my place on the floor, standing beneath the
little block of wood.
“‘Having brought it into court, what did you do with it?’
“I returned to my little block of wood, faced the place I had just
occupied and said:
“‘I handed it up to His Holiness.’
“The Judge then spoke. ‘I have had enough of this and I refuse to
waste the time of the Court longer. It is in my power to condemn
you to the King’s dungeons for ever, and I may say that never in my
long experience of our august Courts have I come across anything to
parallel your repeated insolence. I have already told you that you
have not proved your document and therefore for the purposes of this
Court it does not exist. Stand down.’
“The words ‘stand down’ signify in the technical language of this
great people ‘sit down,’ and can only be disobeyed under the most
fearful penalties. I at once obeyed and resumed my place cross-legged
upon the mat.
“The Judge was now free to give his decision, but first he turned to
the Pleader who had opposed me and said in the most genial tones:
“‘Brother Selim, you have, I take it, proved your document,
especially the word “and”?’
“‘Oh, yes, my lord,’ answered he, in a satisfied manner. ‘I have
further interpleaded for secondary and excised the four principal
terminants, all of which are duly stamped, passed, filed, recorded,
exuded, denoted, permuted, polluted and redeemed.’ To each of these
words the Judge nodded with greater and greater content, and then
asked:
“‘Do you call any further witnesses, brother Selim?’
“‘I call none,’ replied the eminent man, ‘for if I do the vile
plaintiff would have an opportunity of cross-examining them and that
would give away my whole case.’
“‘I think you have done wisely,’ said His Holiness, by way of an
obiter dictum. ‘Things shall therefore turn upon the Charter alone.’
With these words I perceived by the rustle all about me that the last
phase of the trial had come and that my fate was sealed. I thought
I had observed in the manner of its conduct I will not say a bias,
but a sort of atmosphere unfavourable to my claims; for though it
was impossible to conceive that any personal or other feeling could
affect His Holiness’s mind, yet I dreaded his decision. None the less
I awaited that decision with some interest, for, after all, nothing
is certain until it is concluded.
“The judge put down his crown, assumed a headgear which resembled
that of the Special Pleaders but gilded, and with the interior of the
long furry ears carefully painted in silver by way of contrast; for
such the Custom of the Law demands when a decision is about to be
delivered.
“He spoke:
“‘From the evidence that has been laid before me it is clear that
there exists, or has existed, will exist, or may exist, or can exist
or at some other time existed, demurrer notwithstanding, some Charter
wherein the word AND is the point at issue. That form was admitted
by the defence, I think?’ All the Pleaders rose and bowed and then
again were seated upon their carpets. ‘But I gather’ (and here he
looked sternly at me) ‘that there was no acceptance by the Plaintiff.
We have, I take it, an operative clause wherein the operative word
is AND. “AND so long as the salt tax endures.” Many points brought
forward in defence of the Crown I am compelled to overlook. It is
the glory of our courts of justice that they exercise an absolutely
even-handed dealing between man and man, and that His Majesty himself
is bound by their decisions.’ (Here there was a murmur of applause
which was instantly suppressed.) ‘I make therefore so bold as to say
that the Counsel engaged by his Majesty on this occasion have said
many things with which I do not agree and others which I shall not
take into account. It is equally clear that the case presented by
the Plaintiff is, as he put it, no case at all, and that were I to
rely, as I shall not, upon the strict forms of law, he is already out
of Court.’ At this all looked severely on me and I felt my stature
singularly diminished, and crouched lower upon my mat. His Holiness
continued:
“‘I shall treat this matter as though I had heard no pleadings upon
either side, for this I take to be the true attitude of a judge
concerned with justice alone. We have, then, this operative “AND
...” this decisive word “AND.”’ Here His Holiness leaned back on his
throne, cast his eyes upwards towards the rich arabesques of the
ceiling, sighed and continued:
“‘The word AND is among the most significant of our ancient,
glorious language. It has been used upon innumerable occasions. Our
industrial classes, our nobility and even our middle classes, as well
as the poor in their humble station, are compelled to its continual
expression. It is, if I may so express myself, part of the heritage
of our race. He would indeed be poor in spirit, and weak in his
allegiance to the imperial traditions of this island,’ continued His
Holiness, warming to his subject, ‘did he not appreciate the majesty,
the significance, the grandeur upon occasions, the full effect and
indeed the awful weight of this little word,’ and here he dropped his
voice, ‘“AND.” “AND so long as the salt tax ...” etc. That is the point.
AND ... I trust I have made myself clear.’
“All heads nodded in unison, while a song in adoration of His
Holiness was sung by an acolyte who entered at this stage of the
proceedings (as is customary in courts of law), and a hidden chorus,
distant, but just heard, added a short canticle of praise. His
Holiness waited for the conclusion of these ceremonies, which are
invariably interpolated during any important judgment, and then
continued:
“‘AND so long,’ ‘What is the significance of that word “AND”? I take
it that it is affirmative, negative, copulative and restrictive; but
that is--not all. I think it is also constructive, instructive, and
destructive. It is only by using it in all these ways that we can
fully appreciate its preponderant significance in the issue before
us.’ Once more all heads nodded and even I was constrained to follow
the custom, although, in my ignorance, I could make neither head nor
tail of the learned argument. The lawyers present bore a look of such
intense absorption that one would have thought their lives depended
on what was to come.
“‘The Plaintiff in reciting the clause,’ said His Holiness quite
suddenly, ‘emphasized a very singular phrase “for ever and for ever,”
and also those other words, “so long as the state endures,” but I
noticed a curious hesitation upon his part when he came to this word
AND.’
“Here some one in the back of the court yawned in so audible a manner
that there was a sudden interruption signalling an ejection, and I
learned later that the unfortunate man had perished as he deserved.
“‘I appreciate fully,’ continued the Judge, ‘that my decision will,
subject to appeal, determine in great part the future of this ancient
State. Since we are destined soon to acquire and administer the
whole world it may be said that my humble remarks upon this occasion
will deflect the history of the human race itself. No one can be
insensitive to such a responsibility. My duty is clear. The word
“AND,” standing as it does between the first and second parts of
the phrase on which is based Plaintiff’s claim under the Charter,
clearly determines that claim. But to determine is to terminate.
The Plaintiff has therefore no rights here, in the sense of the
word “rights” as used by the august body of our Statute and Common
Law. He is at the mercy of the Crown, and his claim is disallowed.
He may think himself lucky that I have not taken advantage of my
full powers and had him whipped at the cart’s tail or thrown down a
well. Let record be made and all adjudged as decided.’ With this His
Holiness majestically rose, granted a benediction to the kneeling
multitude, and was about to leave the Court when the Pleader Selim
interrupted with the words:
“‘What about costs, your Godship?’
“‘With the Judgment,’ said the judge wearily over his shoulder; and I
noticed to my dismay ten pens busily scribbling and wondered what was
coming next.
“Indeed I was weary of the whole affair and desired nothing better
than to hide my humble head in my poor lodging and on the morrow with
what was left of my poor little hoard--at the most 400 dinars--to
leave for the mainland, and there with this tiny capital attempt to
reconstruct my fortunes.
“It was not to be as I imagined. Even as I approached the door of the
Court I was approached by the Pleader Selim, who repeated that phrase
hitherto meaningless, ‘What about costs?’ and found I might not
depart from the building till I had provided 350 dinars, leaving me
with exactly fifty to face the world! Luckily I had my pouch upon me.
I hurriedly counted out this last poor remainder of my wealth; then,
fearing to return to my lodging (the rent of which I could no longer
discharge) I paced hopelessly along the quays through the evening and
on through the darkness, until, about midnight, I espied a master
mariner about to board his vessel.
“‘For what sum,’ I asked him, ‘will you take me on deck to the
mainland?’
“‘It is a hundred dinars,’ he said roughly.
“‘I have it not,’ I answered. My stomach was already clamouring for
food. ‘I have but fifty dinars, and some part of that I must reserve
for my nourishment lest I perish before reaching land.’
“‘Well,’ said he a little less roughly but with no humanity in his
tone, ‘you may crawl up forward among the cordage if you like and
give me forty-five of your coins; the five you shall keep to feed
yourself with when you land.’
“I thanked him humbly for his unexpected kindness. I tried to find
some warmth in the chilly night, huddled amid coils of rope on the
little deck forward. At dawn the last of the crew came aboard, two
great sails were hoisted and we passed out upon the sea.
“Before the sun was high we had dropped over the horizon, and left
behind us the palaces of the land where I had thought to find
security and repose. There I was, I who had so lately had the world
at my disposal, a beggar, hopeless for the coming days, and wondering
where on my landing I should find food to keep me living for a week
together.”
As Mahmoud was concluding there rose a loud wail, piercing and
prolonged which startled him and all the file of boys aligned
cross-legged before him upon the floor. It proceeded from the
youngest of the nephews.
“What is it, my little fellow?” said his uncle in real alarm.
“Ah! Ah!” sobbed out the poor infant. “Lost! lost! All lost! All that
lovely money lost! I cannot bear it, uncle. I cannot bear it!” and he
burst into floods of tears.
“For heaven’s sake,” said the old man, rolling upon his seat in his
concern for the child, “do not take on so! There is no cause for
such a bother. You make too much of it. It is but part of a tale. Do
you not see how I have been restored to great fortune? Are you not
in this palace of mine with all my slaves around you? and splendid
hangings upon the wall? Come, look about you and do not mix up these
words of the past with real things that you can touch and see to-day.”
The little boy tried to stifle his sobs, but they returned with
increased violence.
“Oh, uncle, to think that you, who had been so rich, should become
so poor; to think that those who gain great wealth cannot keep it
for ever! Consider all your wealth! Oh, it is terrible, the death
and destruction of it!” Throwing himself down upon the marble floor
he buried his face in his crossed arms and kicked either foot
alternately in the air, in the violent paroxysm of his grief.
His uncle was so moved that he knelt beside the child to soothe him.
“Pray, pray, restrain yourself,” he said. “You will do yourself some
hurt. I admire you, my dear boy, I perceive your singular gifts.
More than all your elder brothers do you seem to know that which the
young should seek in life. You understand indeed what others do not
always, all that money means. But it is terrible to see one of your
age suffering such agonies from a mere recital of its loss. Indeed,
I am moved to console you,” here the old man was tempted to put his
hand into his pouch and offer some small coin in consolation to the
child, but he recollected himself and continued, “to console you
with a pleasant draft of cold water, which I am afraid I forgot to
tender to you and your brothers when I last had the pleasure of your
attendance.”
The little fellow sat up, still sobbing, but attempting to dry his
eyes and moaning from time to time “All that money! All that lovely
money!”
Pure, cold, crystal water was brought round and gratefully sipped
by the boys, who when they had thus refreshed themselves at their
uncle’s expense, thanked him warmly and disappeared with reverence
from his presence just at the moment when the voice of the Muezzin
was heard from a neighbouring minaret boring the Faithful to tears
with its repeated call to prayer.
الغنم
AL-GHANAMAT
That is:
THE SHEEP