On the morning of the funeral, M. Breugne called a little before ten
o'clock, the time appointed to the clergy, led me up into my son's
chamber, made there a long visit, gave me to understand the hour to be
earlier than it really was, returned into the salon, and kept me there
for some time in conversation. When he had retired, I went down to the
room where the body of Kenelm had lain: it was gone. I stood some time
lamenting the disappointment of my purposed farewell; blaming the
well-meant and successful efforts of Breugne to deprive me of this
sorrowful satisfaction, and renewing the impression of the view I had
taken the preceding evening of that which I was to behold no more. The
crucifix lay on the table; I took it up; and, before leaving the room,
was preparing to extinguish the tapers which were, by chance as I
thought, left burning. The femme-de-chambre called out to me, "Monsieur,
il ne faut pas faire cela: les cierges lient la famille a ce qui se fait
dans l'eglise."[82]
It is easy to call this arrangement superstitious: there was good
sense, and a sense of decorum in thus declaring, by external signs,
our participation in the office in which we had so dear a concern.
Whatever man loves or esteems highly, he endeavours to represent to
himself by symbols. Friends set a great value on those tokens of
friendship which they may have received as presents; even to become
accidentally possessed of any object, however trifling, that belonged
to a friend, is a cause of pleasure. Portraits are precious, not merely
as works of art, but as reminding us of those whom we delight to
remember; and none refuse to venerate the images of saints, but
those who make no account of the saints themselves. In Italy, in the
salons of ambassadors, I have seen the thrones of their several
sovereigns, to connect by these emblems the representatives with the
represented,--ceremonial so necessary to the maintenance of authority,
that the Spanish minister told his king, "Your Majesty's self is nothing
but a ceremonial;"--etiquette so essential to the good order of society,
that not even the most unpolished reunion subsists without it: these are
but modes of expressing meaning by signs. In war, in politics, in civil
contracts, in common life, men universally thus express themselves; and
why not in religion? Those who quarrel with the shadow are angry with
the substance that throws it.
I said to M. Breugne, "Have compassion on me. It is not my fault that I
did not know you sooner, but a great misfortune it has proved to me: you
might have saved my elder son. You would not have allowed the younger to
perish under your eyes." Breugne said, "What you have suffered is
horrible. On the second day of my visit to your younger son, I met at
the door the coffin of the elder. Do not let us despair as long as your
dear boy has life. I will not deceive you; you shall know of his state
all I know myself." He gave me to understand that he wished me to
determine the number of his visits each day, being unwilling, as I
supposed, to appear desirous of making up by their frequency for the
smallness of the fee usually given to French physicians. I said, "Save
my son; spare no pains that may be necessary to that end: come as often
as your visits may be of use to him." He said, "From the first I have
fixed on a plan in regard to him, which I shall not have occasion to
change: that plan will succeed, or nothing will. So many days have been
lost, that he must have as much both of nourishment and medicine as he
can take with advantage; but I must watch him very attentively to find
out the quantity of both, that he may be able in his weak state to bear
and to profit by."
Never was greater zeal, activity, and judgment exerted than by this
worthy man: all was not more than enough; for never had human being such
a struggle for life as had this youth. His delirium inclined to stupor.
Fomentations of aromatic herbs were applied to the head; sinapism was
applied to the soles of the feet and kept on for eight and forty hours;
blisters were laid on the back and on the legs; yet it was with
difficulty that he could be awakened or excited to take nourishment or
medicines. In truth they were, for the most part, especially towards the
conclusion of his illness, poured into his mouth and swallowed
instinctively, without an effort of the will. In this manner he took, by
dessert-spoonfuls, more than a bottle of Malaga wine a day, and this for
several days following. On the last three days of his illness, the
quantity of musk administered was, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five grains.
I mention these particulars for the purpose of showing how perilous was
his state. I have not medical knowledge enough to do justice to M.
Breugne's treatment by any detail I could give of it.
During these last three days the anxiety of Breugne was extreme. "I
suspect by her uncertain answers to my questions, that the old garde
malade sleeps in the night: let Antoine sit up and watch the nurse. We
do not know precisely when the fever began, but it must soon end: the
least negligence may be fatal." At his first visits, early in the
morning, he used to ask the servants, "Ou en sommes nous?"[83] before he
would enter the chamber of the patient. Every thing portended his death.
His mother afterwards said to me, "I had taken out the sheet to bury him
in; it was as well for it to be ready." Breugne, though he could neither
feel nor give hope, would not despair, nor relax his efforts. An
unfavourable symptom occurred,--the breaking out of red spots on the
skin. "It is all over," said I to Breugne; "the little girl, whom I lost
fifteen years ago, had the same appearance the day before she
died."--"Il ne mourra pas pour cela;"[84] and he did not die. On the
sixteenth of October, in the evening, the fever left him. At this time,
Breugne, after a careful examination, said, "Il n'a rien--there is
nothing the matter with him: but wait till to-morrow morning; it is too
soon yet for me to assure you of his safety."
On the morrow, Breugne pronounced him out of danger. It was pleasant to
see with what delight, with what affectionate exaltation, he
contemplated his patient, standing by his bed-side, taking snuff, and
hardly refraining from tears. The patient, who had been too weak to say
any thing the evening before, had now recovered a little strength and a
little spirit of fun. "Why does he not go away? He has made his visit."
This was said to me in English. Breugne asked the meaning: I told him,
and then said in French, "Let Mr. Breugne enjoy the view of the good he
has done." He did enjoy it most cordially and disinterestedly.
Now came the difficulty to conceal from my restored and surviving son
the death of his brother. Our mourning dress was accounted for, by
telling him that an aunt of his mother's had died and left her a large
legacy; and he was amused by discussing and settling how the legacy
should be spent in Italy. Often has his mother turned aside to hide her
tears while answering his inquiries after his brother, and while
entering into details to make her accounts more credible. Such traits of
heroism have been admired in a Roman matron: but heroism is more common
than is usually supposed. I said to him, "Really we are very much
obliged to you; but for our waiting for your recovery, we should now be
on our road to Italy."--"And my brother? is he well enough for the
journey?" I was stupified, and unable so far to recover myself as to
tell a falsehood. "He will be no hindrance."
A new alarm succeeded. Convalescence after such a malady, uncured for
during more than the first third of its period, was no easy matter. "He
will die after all," said Breugne, "of what the English physicians call
_phthisis in toto corpore_. I order for him exactly the quantity of food
that may nourish him; for it is not by what we eat, but by what we can
turn into nutriment, that the body is supported. The nurse has given him
more than enough, and the organs of nutrition cannot do their office
with what surcharges them. We must have him down stairs: that old witch
must not be left alone with him." He had in fact asked _Goody Grope_, as
he called her, to give him to eat; and she, after discharging her
conscience by refusing, ended by complying. Breugne made me observe that
his pulse intermitted. I counted thirty-nine pulsations; the fortieth
failed. "If he were descending into a malady,"--I cannot well translate
his French, as he hesitated in the choice of his words,--"I should call
the symptom fatal; but as he is rising from one, it may not be of such
evil omen--mauvais augure."
An inference may hence be drawn of no small import in the conduct of
life. How pernicious it must be, even in health, to eat too much; since,
a case of debility supposed, a little quantity more than enough hindered
the nutritive effect of the food, and in truth very nearly proved fatal!
My son was now about to become again one of the family. Two days before
this took place, I told him that his brother was gone into the country,
for change of air, to the house of a friend whom I named. I anticipated
by two days, lest the story should seem invented for the occasion. On
the first of November, he was carried down stairs on a mattress, and
laid on a sofa, while his bed was prepared in the cabinet by the side of
the salon. "I will have him again put into bed as soon as possible,"
said Breugne; "le lit est la force du malade."[85] His sisters were
shocked at his appearance; terror overcame their joy; they seemed to
doubt whether he too had not died and come forth again from the grave:
for myself, I wondered where his muscles, veins, and arteries had
retired, so complete seemed the adhesion of the skin to the bones. Three
days afterwards, asses milk was ordered and found to agree with him; and
Breugne cried out exultingly, "J'ai cinq sur sept pour moi."[86] This
was, however, but little more than two to one in his favour.
Many awkward circumstances might have led him to suspect the death of
his brother. The secret was now to be kept by six or seven persons whose
looks betrayed it, although their tongues were silent: nay, silence was
itself of all circumstances the most suspicious. I dictated a message to
Antoine as from the Marquis de ----, with whom Kenelm was supposed to be
living in the country. This message was to convey a favourable account
of his health, and Antoine was ordered to deliver it in the salon. He
had not courage to speak loud enough, and I made a sign to him to talk
so as to be heard by _him_ in the cabinet: this gave him the air of one
acting a part. The Marquis and Marquise entered soon after. This was
unlucky: they could not have sent a message from their country-house
while they were in the town. They approached the door of the cabinet. I
said, "Madame, you bring us good news from your campagne?" Through pity
or astonishment at my resolution, she had not the force to give any
answer.
I said to M. Breugne, "What am I to do? He suspects his brother's death:
he asked me yesterday, 'Why does he not write? is he not well enough to
write?' The suspicion will irritate his feelings, and do him more harm
than the certainty." Breugne said, "I will not take on myself the
responsibility of advising you; you must judge for yourself: you know
his character better than I do."
On the tenth of November I said to him, "You have had the same illness
as your brother, and have recovered from it. Your present illness is
excessive weakness owing to your having been so long neglected; there is
no reason to fear the same--" Incautiously in my perturbation I had gone
further than I had intended to do at first. This was enough: the secret
was revealed, and we were relieved from this cruel embarrassment.
Four weeks after the fever had left him, he was able to walk a few
steps. A month is sufficient for complete convalescence after the typhus
in ordinary cases. On the twelfth of December he went out in a carriage.
On the twentieth I left my house for the purpose of selling my
furniture by auction, and went to the Hotel d'Europe for better air, and
to be near the promenade. At this inn we staid ten days, till the
strength of the convalescent should be sufficiently restored to enable
us to set out on our long-delayed journey. At length I engaged a
voiture, having most happily found one, as if made on purpose for my
service, new, well-built and warm, with stout horses, and a respectable
coachman.
To obtain a passport to quit France is a matter, not of difficulty, but
of many formalities. The demandant must first make his application to
the municipality, stating his reasons for leaving the kingdom, the
country to which he is going, and the point at which he means to quit
France. The municipality notifies these particulars to the prefect, who
addresses himself to the minister for foreign affairs, who, after due
perquisition at the legation of the country of the demandant, if a
foreigner, (for the same formalities, this inquiry excepted only, are
observed in regard to the French themselves,) authorizes the prefect to
grant the passport required. I stated that I was going to Nice to
restore the health of my son and of my afflicted family. All that family
had made frequent visits to the tomb of Henry Kenelm, except his
brother, whose visit was to be one of farewell on the day before our
departure from Avignon, which was now fixed for the last of the year. On
the 30th of December, a funeral was to take place at two in the
afternoon: the hour suited, and we were willing, as requested, to take
that opportunity of finding the gate of the cemetery open. We went to
the cemetery at the appointed hour; the funeral was delayed till after
sunset: it would have been dangerous, for one whose health was so
imperfectly established, to wait longer, and expose himself to the cold
of the evening; and he quitted this city of death without being able to
pay his last duties at the tomb of a beloved brother.