Here indeed, said Don Balthazar, is an epistle which promises to

crown all your wishes at once. I congratulate you beforehand on your

approaching happiness. He could not help fidgeting and wriggling a

little while he talked in these terms of his own household; but all

his hitches and wry faces passed off, and my eyes were as fast sealed

as ever. I was so full of anticipating titillations, as not to think

of noticing my new friend, who was obliged to get off as fast as he

could, for fear of betraying his agitation in my presence. He ran to

acquaint his brother-in-law with this strange occurrence. I know not

what might pass between them: it is only certain that Don Balthazar

happened to knock at Donna Inez's door just when I was at that lady's

house with Violante. We were warned who it was, and I escaped by a

back door exactly as he went in at the front. As soon as I had got

safe off, the women, whom the unexpected visit of this troublesome

husband had disconcerted a little, recovered their presence of mind,

and with it so large a stock of assurance, as to stand the brunt of

his attack, and put him to a nonplus in ascertaining whether they had

hid me or smuggled me out. I cannot exactly tell you what he said to

Donna Inez and his wife; nor do I believe that history will ever

furnish any authentic particulars of the squabble.

In the mean time, without suspecting yet how completely I was gulled

by Don Balthazar, I sallied forth with curses in my mouth, and

returned to the great square, where I had appointed Lamela to meet

me. But no Lamela was there. He also had his little snug parties,

and the scoundrel fared better than his comrade. As I was waiting

for him, I caught a glimpse of my treacherous associate, with a

knowing smile upon his countenance. He made up to me, and inquired,

with a hearty laugh, what news of my assignation with my nymph, under

the convenient roof of Donna Inez. I cannot conceive, said I, what

evil spirit, jealous of my joys, takes delight to nip them in their

blossom: but after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it

were, spoke the prologue of our comedy, comes the peaking cornuto of

a husband (the Furies fly away with him), and knocks at the door in

the instant of our encounter. There was nothing to be done but to

secure my retreat as fast as possible. So I got out at a back door,

sending to all the inhabitants of hell and its suburbs the jealous

knave, who was so uncivil as to search another lady's house for his

own horns. I am sorry you sped so ill-favoredly, exclaimed Don

Balthazar, who was chuckling with inward satisfaction at my

disappointment. What a mechanical rogue of a husband! I would

advise you to show no mercy to the wittol. O, you need not teach me

how to predominate over such a peasant, replied I. Take my word for

it, a new quarter shall be added to his coat of arms this very night.

His wife, when I went away, told me not to be faint-hearted for such

a trifle, but to place myself without fail under her windows at an

earlier hour than usual, for she was resolved to let me into the

house; and, as a precaution against all accidents, she begged me to

bring two or three friends in my train, for fear of a surprise. What

a discreet and inventive lady! said he, I should have no objection to

being of your party. Ah! my dear friend, exclaimed I, out of wits

with joy, and throwing my arms about Don Balthazar's neck, how

infinitely you will oblige me! I will do more, resumed he; I know a

young man, armed like another Cæsar, for either field of love or war;

he shall be of our number, and you may then rely boldly on the

sufficiency of your escort.

I knew not in what words to thank this seeming friend, so that my

gratitude might be equivalent to his zeal. To make short of the

matter, I accepted his proffered aid. Our meeting was fixed under

Violante's balcony early in the evening, and we parted. He went in

quest of his brother-in-law, who was the hero in question. As for

me, I walked about all day with Lamela, who had no more misgivings

than myself, though somewhat astonished at the warmth with which Don

Balthazar engaged in my interests. We slipped our own necks

completely into the noose. I own this was mere infatuation on our

parts, whose natural instinct ought to have warned us of a halter.

When I thought it proper time to present myself under Violante's

windows, Ambrose and I took care to be armed with small swords.

There we found the husband of my fair dame and another man, waiting

for us with a very determined air. Don Balthazar accosted me, and

introducing his brother-in-law, said, Sir, this is the brave officer

whose prowess I have extolled so highly to you. Make the best of

your way into your mistress's house, and let no fear of the

consequences be any bar to the enjoyment of the most rapturous human

bliss.

After a mutual interchange of compliments, I knocked at Violante's

door. It was opened by a kind of duenna. In I went, and without

looking back after what was passing behind me, made the best of my

way to the lady's room. While I was paying her my preliminary

civilities, the two cutthroats who had followed me into the house,

and had banged the door after them so violently, that Ambrose was

left in the street, made their appearance. You may well suppose that

then was the appeal to arms. They both fell upon me at the same

time; but I showed them some play. I kept them engaged on either

side so fiercely, that they were sorry, perhaps, not to have taken a

safer road to their revenge. The husband was run through the body.

His brother-in-law, seeing him on his travels to the shades below,

made the best of his way to the door, which the duenna and Violante

had opened, to make their escape while we were fighting. I ran after

him into the street, where I met with Lamela once more, who, by dint

of not being able to get a word out of the women, running as they did

for their very lives, did not know exactly what he was to divine from

the infernal noise he had just heard. We got back to our inn. After

packing up what was best worth taking with us, we mounted our mules,

and got out of town, without waiting for daybreak or fear of robbers.

It was sufficiently clear that this business was not likely to be

without its consequences, and that a hue and cry would be set up in

Toledo, which we should act like wise men to anticipate by a retreat.

We staid the night at Villarubia. At the inn where we put up, some

time after our arrival, there alighted a tradesman of Toledo on his

way to Segorba. We clubbed our suppers. He related to us the

tragical catastrophe of Violante's husband; and so far was he from

suspecting us of being parties concerned, that we inquired into

particulars with the curious indifference of common newsmongers.

Gentlemen, said he, just as I was setting out this morning, the

report of this melancholy event was handed about. Every one was on

the hunt after Violante; and they say that the corregidor, a relation

of Don Balthazar, is determined on sparing no pains to discover the

perpetrators of this murder. So much for my knowledge of the

business.

The corregidor of Toledo and his police gave me very little

uneasiness. But, for fear of the worst, I determined to precipitate

my retreat from New Castile. It occurred to me that Violante, when

hunted out of her hiding-place, would turn informer, and in that case

she might give such a description of my person to the clerks in

office, as might enable them to put their scouts upon a right scent.

For this reason, on the following day we struck out of the high road,

as a measure of safety. Fortunately Lamela was acquainted with three

fourths of Spain, and knew by what cross paths we could get securely

into Arragon. Instead of going straight to Cuença, we threaded the

defiles of the mountains overhanging that town, and arrived, by ways

with which my guide was well acquainted, at a grotto looking very

much like a hermitage. In fact, it was the very place whither you

came yesterday evening to petition me for an asylum.

While I was reconnoitring the neighborhood, which presented a most

delicious landscape to my view, my companion said to me, It is six

years since I travelled this way. At that time the grotto before us

afforded a retreat to an old hermit who entertained me charitably.

He made me fare as he did. I remember that he was a holy man, and

talked in such a strain as almost to wean me from the vices and

follies of this nether world. He may possibly be still living; I

will ascertain whether it be so or not. With these words in his

mouth, Ambrose, under the influence of natural curiosity, alighted

from his mule, and went into the hermitage. He remained there some

minutes, and then returned, calling after me, and saying, Come

hither, Don Raphael; come and bear witness to a most affecting event.

I dismounted immediately. We tied our mules to a tree, and I

followed Lamela into the grotto, where I descried an old anchoret

stretched at his length upon a couch, pale and at the point of death.

A white beard, very thick, hung down to his middle, and he held a

large rosary, most piously ornamented, in his clasped hands. At the

noise which we made in coming near him, he opened his eyes, upon

which death had already begun to lay his leaden hand, and after

having looked at us for a moment, said, "Whosoever you are, my

brethren, profit by the spectacle which presents itself to your

observation. I have seen out forty years in the world, and sixty in

this solitude. But mark! At this eternal crisis, the time I have

devoted to my pleasures seems an age, and that, on the contrary,

which has been sacred to repentance, but a minute! Alas! I fear

lest the austerities of brother Juan should be found light in the

balance with the sins of the licentiate Don Juan de Solis."

No sooner were these words out of his mouth than he breathed his

last. We were struck by the solemn scene. Objects of this kind

always make some impression even on the greatest libertines; but our

serious thoughts were of no long duration. We soon forgot what he

had been saying to us, and began making an inventory of what the

hermitage contained; an employment which was not oppressively

laborious, since the household furniture extended no further than

what you remarked in the grotto. Brother Juan was not only in

ill-furnished lodgings; his kitchen, too, was in a very rustic

plight. All the store laid in consisted of some small nuts and some

pieces of crusty barley bread as hard as flint, which had all the

appearance of having been impregnable to the gums of the venerable

man. I specify his gums, because we looked for his teeth, and found

they had all dropped out. The whole arrangement of this solitary

abode, every object that met our eyes, made us look upon this good

anchoret as a pattern of sanctity. One thing only staggered us in

our opinion. We opened a paper folded in the form of a letter, and

lying upon the table, wherein he besought the person who should read

the contents to carry his rosary and sandals to the bishop of Cuença.

We could not make out in what spirit this modern recluse of the

desert could aim at making such a present to his bishop. It seemed

to us to tread somewhat on the heels of his humility, and to savor of

one who was a candidate for a niche in the calendar. Though indeed

it might be that there was nothing in it but a simple supposition

that the bishop was such another as himself; but whether his

ignorance was really so extreme, I shall not pretend to decide.

In talking over this subject, a very pleasant idea occurred to

Lamela. Let us take up our abode, said he, in this holy retreat.

The disguise of hermits will become us. Brother Juan must be laid

quietly in the earth. You shall personate him; and for myself, in

the character of brother Anthony, I will go and see what is to be

done in the neighboring towns and villages. Besides that we shall be

too cunningly ensconced for the prying curiosity of the corregidor,

since it is not to be supposed that he will think of coming hither to

look for us, I have some good connections at Cuença, which may be of

essential service to us. I fell in with this odd whim, not so much

for the reasons given me by Ambrose, as in compliance with the humor

of the thing, and as it were to play a part in a dramatic piece. We

made an excavation in the ground at about thirty or forty yards from

the grotto, and buried the old anchoret there without any pompous

rites, after having stripped him of his wardrobe, which consisted of

a single crown tied round the middle with a leathern girdle. We

likewise despoiled him of his beard to make me an artificial one; and

finally, after his interment, we took possession of the hermitage.

The first day our table was but meanly served; the provisions of the

deceased were all we had to feed on: but on the following morning,

before sunrise, Lamela set off to sell the two mules at Toralva, and

returned in the evening, laden with provisions and other articles

which he had purchased. He brought every thing necessary to

metamorphose us completely. For himself he had provided a gown of

coarse dark cloth, and a little red horse-hair, beard, so ingeniously

appended to his ears, that one would have sworn it had been natural.

There is not a cleverer fellow in the universe for a frolic. Brother

Juan's beard was also new-modelled, and adapted to the plumpness of

my face. My brown woollen cap completed the masquerade. In fact,

nothing was wanting to make us pass for what we were not. Our

equipage was so ludicrously out of character, that we could not look

at one another without laughing, under a garb so diametrically at

variance with our general complexion. With brother Juan's mantle, I

caught and kept his rosary and sandals; taking the liberty of

borrowing them for the time being from the bishop of Cuença.

We had already been three days in the hermitage, without having been

interrupted by a living soul; but on the fourth, two countrymen came

into the grotto. They brought bread, cheese, and onions, for the

deceased, whom they supposed to be still living. I threw myself on

our miserable couch as soon as they made their appearance; and it was

not difficult to impose on them. Besides that it was too dark to

distinguish my features accurately, I imitated the voice of brother

Juan, whose last words I had heard, to the best of my ability. They

had no suspicion of the trick, though a good deal surprised at

finding another hermit there. Lamela, taking advantage of their

stupid wonder, said, in a canting tone, My brethren, be not

astonished at seeing me in this solitude. I have quitted a hermitage

of my own in Arragon, to come hither and be a companion to the

venerable and edifying brother Juan, who, at his advanced age, wants

a yoke-fellow to administer to his necessities. The rustics lavished

their clumsy panegyrics on the charity of Ambrose, and congratulated

themselves that they might triumph over their neighbors, and boast of

two holy personages residing in their country.

Lamela, laden with a large wallet which he had not forgotten among

the number of his purchases, went for the first time to reconnoitre

the town of Cuença, which is but a very short distance from the

hermitage. With a mortified exterior, by which nature had dubbed him

for a cheat, and the art of making that natural deception go as far

as possible by a most hypocritical and factitious array of features,

he could not fail to play upon the feelings of the charitable and

humane, and those whom heaven has blessed with affluence. His

knapsack bore testimony to the extravagance of their pious

liberalities. Master Ambrose, said I on his return, I congratulate

you on your happy knack at softening the souls of all good

Christians. As we hope to be saved, one would suppose that you had

been a mendicant friar among the Capuchins. I have done something

else besides bringing in food for the convent, answered he. You must

know that I have ferreted out a certain lass called Barbara, with

whom I used to flirt formerly. She is as much altered as any of us;

for she also has addicted herself to a godly life. She forms a

coterie with two or three other sanctified dames, who are an example

to the faithful in public, and flounce over head and ears in every

sort of private vice. She did not know me again at first. What

then, Mistress Barbara, said I, is it possible that you should have

discharged one of your oldest friends from your remembrance, your

servant Ambrose? As I am a true Christian, Signor de Lamela,

exclaimed she, I never thought to have turned you up in such a garb

as that. By what transformation are you become a hermit? That is

more than I can tell you just now, rejoined I. The particulars are

rather long; but I will come to-morrow evening and satisfy your

curiosity. Nay, more; I will bring brother Juan, my companion, along

with me. Brother Juan, interrupted she, the venerable hermit who has

taken up his saintly residence near this town? You do not know what

you are saying; he is supposed to be more than a hundred years old.

It is very true, said I, that he was of that age some little while

ago; but time, in deference to his sanctity, has gone backward with

him; and he is grown considerably younger within these few days. He

is at present just about my turn of life. Say you so! Then let us

have him too, replied Barbara. I perceive there is something more in

this mystery than the church will be able to explain.

We did not miss our appointment with these whited sepulchres on the

following night. To make our reception the more agreeable, they had

laid out a sumptuous entertainment. Off went our beards and cowls,

and vestments of mortification; and without any squeamishness we

confessed our birth, education, and real character, to these sisters

in hypocrisy. On their part, for fear of being behindhand with us in

freedom from prejudice, they fairly let us see of what pretended

religionists are capable, when they drop the veil of the sanctuary,

and exhibit their unmanufactured faces. We spent almost the whole

night at table, and got back to our grotto but a moment before

daybreak. We were not long in repeating our visit; or, if the truth

must be told, it was nightly for three months; till we had ate up

more than two thirds of our ways and means in the company of these

delicate creatures. But an unsuccessful candidate for their favor

got wind of our proceedings, and prated of our whereabout in the ear

of justice, which was to have been in motion towards the hermitage

this very day, to lay hold of our persons. Yesterday Ambrose, while

picking up eleemosynaries at Cuença, stumbled upon one of our whining

sisterhood, who gave him a note, with this caution: A female friend

of mine has written me this letter, which I was going to send to you

by a man on purpose. Show it to brother Juan, and regulate your

proceedings accordingly. It was this very note, gentlemen, that

Lamela gave me in your presence, which occasioned us to take so

abrupt a leave of our solitary dwelling.

_CHAPTER II._

_DON RAPHAEL'S CONSULTATION WITH HIS COMPANY, AND THEIR ADVENTURES AS

THEY WERE PREPARING TO LEAVE THE WOOD._

When Don Raphael had finished the narrative of his adventurous life,

which, with all the other qualities of a romance, had the

tediousness, Don Alphonso, according to the laws of good breeding,

swore himself black in the face that he had been prodigiously

entertained. After the usual exchange of compliments, Signor Ambrose

put in his oar, with an admonitory hint to the partner of his

exploits and peregrinations. Consider, Don Raphael, that the sun is

setting. It would not be amiss, me thinks, to take counsel on what

we are to do. You are in the right, answered his comrade; we must

determine on the place of our destination. For my own part, replied

Lamela, I am of opinion that we should get upon the road again

without loss of time, reach Requena to-night, and enter upon the

territory of Valencia to-morrow, where we will go to work full tilt

at our old trade. I have some prognosticating twitches, which tell

me that we shall strike some good strokes in that quarter. His

colleague, from ample experience of his infallibility in such

prophecies, voted on his side of the question. As for Don Alphonso

and myself, having nothing to do but to follow the lead of these two

worthy gentlemen, we waited, in silent acquiescence, the issue of

this momentous debate.

Thus it was determined that we should take the direction of Requena;

and all hands were piped to make the necessary arrangements. We made

our meal after the same fashion as in the morning, and the horse was

laden with the bottle, and with the remnant of our provisions. After

a time, the approach of night seemed to promise us that darkness so

friendly, and even so necessary to the safety of our retreat; and we

were beginning our march through the wood: but before we had gone a

hundred paces, a light among the trees gave us a subject of anxious

speculation. What can be the meaning of that? said Don Raphael;

these surely must be bloodhounds of the police from Cuença, uncoupled

and eager for the sport, with a fresh scent of us in this forest, and

in full cry after their game. I am of a very different opinion, said

Ambrose; they are more likely to be benighted travellers taking

shelter in the thicket till daybreak. But there is no trusting to

conjecture: I will examine into the real truth. Stay you here, all

three of you; I will be back again instantly. No sooner said than

done; he stole, just as if he had been used to it, towards the light,

which was not far off; no brute or human thief of forest or city

could have done it better. With a gentle removal of the leaves and

branches which obstructed his passage, the whole scene was laid open

to his silent contemplation; and it afforded sufficient food. On the

grass, round about a lighted candle with a clod for its candlestick,

were seated four men, just finishing a meat pie, and hugging a pretty

large bottle, which was at its last gasp, after having sustained

their alternate embraces for successive rounds. At some paces from

these gentry, he espied a lady and gentleman tied to the trees, and,

a little farther off, a carriage with two mules richly caparisoned.

He determined at once in his own mind that the fellows carousing on

the ground were banditti; and the tenor of their talk assured him

that he had not belied their trade by his conjecture. The four

cutthroats all avowed a like desire of possessing the female who had

fallen into their hands; and they were proposing to draw lots for

her. Lamela, having made himself master of the business, came back

to us, and gave an exact account of all he had seen and heard.

[Illustration: Thieves in forest]

My friends, said Don Alphonso on his recital, that lady and

gentleman, whom the robbers have tied to trees, are probably persons

of the first condition. Shall we suffer scoundrels like these to

triumph over their honor and take away their lives? Put yourselves

under my direction: let us assail the desperate outlaws, and they

will perish under our attack. With all my heart, said Don Raphael.

It is all one to me. I had just as soon engage on the right side as

on the wrong. Ambrose, for his part, protested that he wished for

nothing better than to lend a hand in so moral an enterprise, as it

promised to combine much profit with some share of honor. And

indeed, if a man may speak a good word for himself, danger stood

better recommended than usual to my comprehension; all the boiling

courage of knighthood, pledged up to the knuckles or the chin on the

behalf of female innocence, was oozing out at every pore of this

chivalrous person. But, if we are to state facts in the spirit of

history rather than of romance, the danger was more in imagination

than in reality. Lamela having brought us word that the arms of the

robbers were all piled up at the distance of ten or twelve paces out

of their reach, there was no difficulty in securing the mastery of

the field. We tied our horses to a tree, and drew near, as softly as

possible, to the spot were the robbers were seated. They were

debating with some impetuosity, and their vociferous argument was all

in favor of our covert attack. We got possession of their arms

before they had any suspicion of us. But the enemy was nearer than

they imagined--too near to miss aim; and they were all stretched

lifeless on the ground.

During the conflict the candle went out, so that we proceeded in our

business by guess-work. We were not remiss, however, in unbinding

the prisoners, of whom fear had got such complete possession, that

they had not their wits enough about them to thank us for what we had

done for them. It must be allowed that they could not at first

distinguish whether they were to consider us as their deliverers, or

as a fresh gang who had taken them out of one furnace to cast them

hissing into another. But we recovered their spirits by the

assurance that we should lodge them safely in a public house which

Ambrose mentioned as not being more than half a mile off, whence they

might take all necessary measures to pursue their journey in whatever

direction they thought proper. After these words of comfort, which

seemed to sink deep, we placed them in their carriage, and conducted

them out of the wood, holding their mules by the bridle. Our

clerical friends instituted a ghostly visitation to the pockets of

the vanquished banditti. Our next step was to recover Don Alphonso's

horse. We also took to ourselves the steeds of the robbers, waiting,

as they were, to be released from the trees to which they were tied

near the field of battle. With this extensive cavalcade we followed

brother Antony, mounted on one of the mules, and conducting the

carriage to the inn, whither we did not arrive in less than two

hours, though he had pledged his credit that the distance from the

wood was very short.

We knocked roughly at the door. Every living creature was napping,

except the fleas. The landlord and landlady got on their clothes in

a hurry, and were not at all annoyed at finding their rest disturbed

by the arrival of an equipage which promised to do more for the good

of the house than it eventually did. The whole inn was lighted up in

an instant. Don Alphonso and the stage-bred son of Lucinda lent

their assistance to the gentleman and lady in alighting from the

carriage, and acted as their ushers in leading the way to the room

prepared for them by the landlord. Compliments flew backwards and

forwards like shuttlecocks; but we were not a little astonished at

discovering the Count de Polan himself and his daughter Seraphina in

the persons we had just rescued. It would be difficult to represent

by words the surprise of that lady, as well as of Don Alphonso, when

they recognized each other's features. The count took no notice of

it, his attention being engrossed by other matters. He set about

relating to us in what manner the robbers had attacked him, and how

they secured his daughter and himself, after having killed his

postilion, a page, and a valet-de-chambre. He ended with declaring

how deeply he felt his obligation, and that, if we would call upon

him at Toledo, where he should be in a month, we should judge for

ourselves whether he felt as a grateful heart ought to feel.

His lordship's daughter was not backward in her acknowledgments for

her timely rescue; and as we were of opinion--that is, Raphael and

myself--that we should do a good turn to Don Alphonso by giving him

an opportunity of a minute's private parley with the young widow, we

contrived to keep the Count de Polan in play. Lovely Seraphina, said

Don Alphonso to the lady in a low voice, I no longer lament over the

lot which obliges me to live like a man banished from civil society,

since I have been so fortunate as to assist in the important service

just rendered you. What then, answered she, with a sigh, is it you

who have saved my life and honor? Is it to you that we are so

indebted, myself equally with my father? Ah! Don Alphonso, why were

you the instrument of my brother's death? She said no more upon the

subject; but he conceived clearly by these words, and by the tone in

which they were pronounced, that if he was over head and ears in love

with Seraphina, she was equally out of her depth in the same passion.

BOOK THE SIXTH.

_CHAPTER I._

_THE FATE OF GIL BLAS AND HIS COMPANIONS AFTER THEY TOOK LEAVE OF THE

COUNT DE POLAN. ONE OF AMBROSE'S NOTABLE CONTRIVANCES SET OFF BY THE

MANNER OF ITS EXECUTION._

The Count de Polan, after having exhausted half the night in thanking

us, and protesting that we might reckon upon his substantial

acknowledgments, sent for the landlord, to consult him on the best

method of getting safely to Turis, whither it was his intention to

go. We had nothing to do with this nobleman's further progress, and

therefore left him to take his own measures. Our departure from the

inn was now resolved on; and we followed Lamela like sheep after the

bell-wether.

After two hours' travelling, the day overtook us near Campillo. We

made as expeditiously as possible for the mountains between that

hamlet and Requena. There we wore out the day in taking our rest and

reckoning up our stock, which the spoil of the robbers had

considerably replenished, to the amount of more than three hundred

pistoles, the lawful ravage of their pockets. We began our march

again with the setting in of the night, and on the following morning

reached the frontier of Valencia in safety. We got quietly into the

first wood that offered as a shelter. The inmost recesses of it were

best suited to our purpose, and led us on by winding paths to a spot

where a rivulet of transparent water was meandering in its slow and

silent course, to incorporate with the waters of Guadalaviar. The

refreshing shade afforded by the foliage, and the rich pasturage in

which our toil-worn beasts so much delighted, would have fixed this

for the place of our halting, if our resolution had not been

previously taken to that effect.

We therefore alighted, and were preparing to pass the day very

pleasantly; but a good breakfast was amongst the foremost of our

intended pleasures, and we found that there was very little

ammunition left. Bread was beginning to be a nonentity; and our

bottle was becoming an evidence of the material system, mere carnal

leather without a vivifying soul. Gentlemen, said Ambrose, scenery

and the picturesque have but hungry charms for me, unless Bacchus and

Ceres preside over the landscape. Our provisions must be lengthened

out. For this purpose, away post I to Xelva. It is a very pretty

town, not more than two leagues off. I shall soon make this little

excursion. Speaking after this manner he slung the bottle and the

wallet over a horse's back, leaped merrily into his seat, and shot

out of the wood with a rapidity which seemed to bid fair for a speedy

return.

He did not, however, come back quite so soon as he had given us

reason to expect. More than half the day had elapsed; nay, night

herself was already pranking up her dun and gloomy wings, to

overshadow the thicket with a denser horror, when we saw our purveyor

once again, whose long stay was beginning to give us some uneasiness.

Our extreme wishes were lame and impotent, compared with the

abundance of his stores. He not only produced the bottle, filled

with some excellent wine, and the wallet stuffed with game and

poultry ready dressed, to say nothing of bread,--the horse was laden

besides with a large bundle of stuffs, of which we could make neither

head nor tail. He took notice of our wonder, and said with a smile,

I will lay a wager neither Don Raphael nor all the colleges of

soothsayers upon earth can guess why I have bought these articles.

With this fling at our dulness, we untied the bundle, and lectured on

the intrinsic value of what we had been considering only as an empty

pageant. In the inventory was a cloak and a black gown of trailing

dimensions; doublets, breeches, and hose to correspond; an inkstand

and writing paper such as a secretary of state need not be ashamed

of; a key such as a treasurer might carry; a great seal and green wax

such as a chancellor might affix to his decrees. When he had at

length exhausted the display of his bargains, Don Raphael observed,

in a bantering tone, Faith and troth, Master Ambrose, it must be

confessed that you have made a good, sensible speculation. But pray,

how do you mean to turn the penny on your purchase? Let me alone for

that, answered Lamela. All these things cost me only ten pistoles,

and it shall go hard but they bring us in above five hundred. The

tens in five hundred are fifty; a good improvement of money, my

masters! I am not a man to burden myself with a trumpery pedler's

pack; and to prove to you that I have not been making ducks and

drakes of our joint stock, I will let you into the secret of a plan

which has just taken birth in my pericranium.

After having laid in my stock of bread, I went into a cook's shop,

where I ordered a range of partridges, chickens, and young rabbits,

half a dozen of each, to be put instantly on the spit. While these

relishing little articles were roasting, in came a man in a violent

passion, open-mouthed against the coarse conduct of a tradesman to

his consequential self. This fagot of fury observed to the lord

paramount of the dripping-pan, By St. James! Samuel Simon is the

most wrong-headed retail dealer in the town of Xelva. He has just

insulted me in his own shop before his customers. The skinflint

would not trust me for six ells of cloth, though he knows very well

that my credit is as good as the bank, and that no one could say he

ever lost anything by me. Are not you delighted with the outlandish

monster? He has no objection to getting people of fashion on his

books. He had rather toss up heads or tails with them, than oblige a

plain citizen in an honest way, and be paid in full at the time

appointed. What a strange whim! But he is an infernal Jew. He will

be taken in some day or other! All the merchants on the Exchange are

lying in wait to catch him upon the hip; and his disgrace or ruin

will be nuts to me.

While this reptile of the warehouse was thus spitting his spite and

blurting out many other ill-natured innuendoes, there came over me a

sort of astrological anticipation that I should be lord of the

ascendant over this Samuel Simon. My friend, said I to the man who

was complaining against that hawker of damaged goods, of what

character is the strange fellow you are talking about? Of a

confoundedly bad character, answered he in a pet. Depend on it, he

is one of the most extortionate usurers in existence, though with the

affectation of not letting his left hand know what his right gives

away in charity. He was a Jew, and has turned Catholic; but rip your

way into his heart, if he has any, and you will find him still as

inveterate a Jew as ever Pilate was. As for his conversion, it was

all in the way of trade.

I took in with greedy ear the whole invective of the shop-keeping

declaimant, and failed not, on coming out of the eating-house, to

inquire for Samuel Simon's residence. A person directed me to the

part of the town, and there was no difficulty in finding out the

house. It was not enough to skim my eye cursorily over his shop. I

peered into every hole and corner of it; and my imagination, always

on the alert when any profit is to be picked up, has already

engendered a rogue's trick, which only waits the period of gestation,

when it may turn out a bantling not unworthy to be fathered by the

sanctimonious servant of Signor Gil Blas. Straightway went I to the

ready-made warehouse, where I bought these dresses, into which we may

stuff an inquisitor, a notary, and an alguazil, and play the parts in

the spirit of the solemn offices they represent.

Ah! my dear Ambrose, interrupted Don Raphael, transported with

rapture at the suggestion, what a wonderful idea! a glorious scheme

indeed! I am quite jealous of the contrivance. Willingly would I

blot out the proudest quarter from my escutcheon, to have owned an

effort of genius so transcendent. Yes, Lamela, I see, my friend, all

the rich invention of the design, and you need be at no loss for

instruments to carry it into effect. You want two good actors to

play up to you; and you have not far to look for them. You have

yourself a face that can look sanctified, magisterial, or

bloodthirsty at will, and may do very well to represent the

inquisition. My character shall be that of the notary; and Signor

Gil Blas, if he pleases, may enact the alguazil. Thus are the

persons of the drama distributed: to-morrow we will play the piece,

and I will pledge myself for its success, bating one of those unlucky

chance medleys which turn awry the currents of the most pithy and

momentous enterprises.

As yet Don Raphael's masterpiece of roguery had made but a clumsy

impression on my plodding brain; but the argument of the fable was

developed at supper-time, and the hinge upon which it was turned was,

to my mind, of an ingenious contrivance. After having despatched

part of our game, and bled our bottle to the last stage of

evacuation, we stretched our length upon the grass, and soon fell

fast asleep. Up with you! up with you! was the alarum of Signor

Ambrose, as the day began to dawn. People who have a great

enterprise on hand ought not to indulge themselves in indolence. A

plague upon you, master inquisitor, said Don Raphael, rubbing his

eyes; you are confounded early on the move! It is as good as an

order for execution to Master Samuel Simon. Many a true word is

spoken in jest, replied Lamela. Nay, you shall know more, added he

with a sarcastic grin. I dreamt last night that I was plucking the

hairs out of his beard. Was not that a left-handed dream for him,

master secretary? These pleasant hits were followed by a thousand

others, which called forth new bursts of merriment. Our breakfast

passed off with the utmost gayety; and when it was over, we made our

arrangements for the pageant we had got up. Ambrose arrayed himself

in sables, as befitted so ghostly an instrument for the suppression

of vice. We also took to our official habits; nor has the dignity of

magistracy been often more gravely represented than by Don Raphael

and myself. The making up of our persons was rather a tedious

operation; for it was later than two o'clock in the afternoon when we

sallied from the wood to attend our call at Xelva. It is true, there

was no hurry, since the play was not to begin till the setting in of

the evening. That being the case, we jogged on leisurely, and

stopped at the gates of the town till the day was closed.

At that eventful hour, we left our horses where they were, to the

care of Don Alphonso, who was very well satisfied to have so humble a

cast in the distribution. As for Don Raphael, Ambrose, and myself,

our first visit was not to Samuel Simon in person, but to a

tavern-keeper who lived very near him. His reverence the inquisitor

walked foremost. In went he to the bar, and said gravely to the

landlord, Master, I want to speak a word with you in private. The

obsequious publican showed us into a room, where Lamela, now that we

had got him to ourselves, said, I have the honor to be an unworthy

member of the holy office, and am come here on a business of very

great importance. At this intimation, the man of liquor turned pale,

and answered in a tremulous tone that he was not conscious of having

given any umbrage to the holy inquisition. True, replied Ambrose,

with encouraging affability; neither do we meditate any harm against

you. Heaven forbid that august tribunal, too hasty in its

punishments, should make no distinction between guilt and innocence.

It is unrelenting, but always just: to become obnoxious to its

vengeance, you must have earned its displeasure by wickedness or

contumacy. Be satisfied therefore that it is not you who bring me to

Xelva, but a certain dealer and chapman, by name Samuel Simon. A

very ugly story about him has come round to us. He is still a Jew in

his heart, they say, and has only embraced Christianity from sordid

and secular motives. I command you, in the name of the tremendous

court I represent, to tell me all you know about that man. Beware

how you are induced by good neighborhood, or possibly by close

friendship, to gloss over and palliate his errors; for I warn you

authoritatively, if I detect the slightest prevarication in your

evidence, you are yourself even as one of the abandoned and accursed.

Where is my secretary? pursued he, turning down towards Don Raphael.

Sit down and do your duty.

Mr. Secretary, with his paper already in his hand and his pen behind

his ear, took his seat most pompously, and made ready to take down

the landlord's deposition; who promised solemnly on his part not to

suppress one tittle of the real fact. So far, so good! said the

worshipful commissioner; we have only to proceed in our examination.

You will only just answer my questions; but do not interlard your

replies with any comments of your own. Do you often see Samuel Simon

at church! I never thought of looking for him, said the drawer of

corks; but I do not know that I ever saw him there in my life. Very

good! cried the inquisitor. Write down that the defendant never goes

to church. I do not say so, your worship, answered the landlord, I

only say that I never happened to see him there. We may have been at

church together, and yet not have come across each other. My good

friend, replied Lamela, you forget that you are deposing to facts,

and not arguing. Remember what I told you; contempt of court is a

heinous offence. You are to give a sound and discreet evidence;

every iota of what makes against him, and not a word in his favor, if

you knew volumes. If that is your practice, O upright and impartial

judge, resumed our host, my testimony will scarcely be worth the

trouble of taking. I know nothing about the tradesman you are

inquiring after, and therefore can tell neither good nor harm of him;

but if you wish to examine into the history of his private life, I

will run and call Gaspard, his apprentice, whom you may question as

much as you please. The lad comes and takes his glass here sometimes

with his friends. Bless us, what a tongue! He will rip up all the

minutest actions of his master's life, and find employment for your

secretary till his wrist aches, take my word for it.

I like your open dealing, said Ambrose with a nod of approbation. To

point out a man so capable of speaking to the bad morals of Simon, is

an instance of Christian charity as well as of religious zeal. I

shall report you very favorably to the inquisition. Make haste,

therefore; go and fetch this Gaspard, of whom you speak; but do the

thing cautiously, so that his master may have no suspicion of what is

going forward. The multiplier of scores acquitted himself of his

commission with due diligence and laudable privacy. Our little

shopman came along with him. The youth had a tongue with a tang, and

was just the sort of fellow that we wanted. Welcome, my good young

man! said Lamela. You behold in me an inquisitor, appointed by that

venerable body to collect informations against Samuel Simon, on an

accusation of still adhering to Judaism in his secret devotions. You

are an inmate of his family; consequently you must be an eye-witness

to many of his most private transactions. It probably may be

unnecessary to warn you, that you are obliged in conscience, and by

fear of punishment, to declare all you know about him,

notwithstanding any promise to the contrary, when I order you so to

do on the part of the holy inquisition. May it please your

reverence, answered the plodding little rascal, I am quite ready to

satisfy your heart's desire on that head, without being commanded

thereto in the name of the holy office. If ever my acquittal was to

depend on my master's character of me, I am persuaded that my chance

would be a sorry one; and for that reason, I shall serve him as he

would serve me. And I may tell you in the first place, that he is a

fly-by-night whose proceedings it is no easy matter to take measure

of; a man who puts on all the starch formalities of an inveterate

religionist, but at bottom has not a spark of principle in his

composition. He goes every evening dangling after a little girl no

better than she should be.... I am vastly glad indeed to find that,

interrupted Ambrose, because I plainly perceive, by all you have been

telling me, that he is a man of corrupt morals and licentious

practices. But answer point by point to the questions I shall put to

you. It is above all on the subject of religion that I am

commissioned to inquire into his sentiments and conduct. Pray tell

me, do you eat much pork at your house? I do not think, answered

Gaspard, that we have seen it at table twice in the year that I have

lived with him. Better and better! replied the paragon of

inquisitors: write down in legible characters that they never eat

pork in Samuel Simon's family. But as a set-off against that,

doubtless a joint of lamb is served up every now and then? Yes,

every now and then, rejoined the apprentice; we killed one for our

own consumption about last Easter. The season is pat and to the

purpose, cried the ecclesiastical commissioner. Come, write down,

that Simon keeps the passover. This goes on merrily to a complete

conviction; and it seems we have got a good serviceable information

here.

Tell me again, my friend, pursued Lamela, whether you have not often

seen your master fondle young children. A thousand times, answered

Gaspard. When he sees the little urchins playing about before the

shop, if they happen to be pretty, he calls them in and makes much of

them. Write that down, be sure you write that down! interrupted the

inquisitor. Samuel Simon is very grievously suspected of lying in

wait for Christian children, and enticing them into his den to

circumcise them. Vastly well! vastly well, indeed, Master Simon!

you will have an account to settle with the society for the

suppression of Judaism, take my word for it. Do not take it into

your savage head that such bloody sacrifices are to be perpetrated

with impunity. A pretty use you make of baptism and shaving! Cheer

up, religious Gaspard, thou foremost of elect apprentices! Make a

full confession of all thy master's sins; complete thine honest

testimony by telling us how this simular of a Catholic is more than

ever wedded to his Jewish customs and ceremonies. Is it not a fact

that one day in the week he sits with his hands before him, and will

not even perform the most necessary offices for himself? No,

answered Gaspard, I have not exactly observed that. What comes

nearest to it is, that on some days he shuts himself up in his

closet, and stays there a long time. Ay! now we have it, exclaimed

the commissary. He keeps the Sabbath, or I am not an inquisitor.

Note that particularly, officer; note that he observes the fast of

the Sabbath most superstitiously! Out upon him! What a shocking

fellow! One question more, and his business is done. Is not he

always parleying about Jerusalem? Pretty often indeed, replied our

informer. He knows the Old Testament by heart, and tells us how the

temple of Jerusalem was destroyed. The very thing! resumed Ambrose.

Secretary! be sure you do not neglect that feature of the case.

Write, in letters of an inch long, that Samuel Simon has contracted

with the devil for the rebuilding of the temple, and that he is

plotting day and night for the reëstablishment of his nation. That

is all I want to know; and it is labor in vain to pursue the

examination any further. What Gaspard, in the spirit of truth and

charity, has deposed, would be sufficient to make a bonfire of all

Jewry.

When the august mouth-piece of the holy tribunal had sifted the

little scoundrelly apprentice after this manner, he told him he might

go about his business; at the same time commanding him, under the

severest penalties of the inquisition, not to say a word to his

master about what was going forward. Gaspard promised implicit

obedience, and marched off. We were not long in coming after him;

our procession from the inn was as grave and solemn as our pilgrimage

thereunto, till we knocked at Samuel Simon's door. He opened it in

person. Three figures such as ours might have dumfounded a better

man; but his face was as long as a lawsuit, when Lamela, our

spokesman, said to him in a tone of authority, Master Samuel, I

command you in the name of the holy inquisition, whose delegate I

have the honor to be, to give me the key of your closet without

murmur or delay. I want to see if I cannot find wherewithal to

corroborate certain hints which have been communicated to us

respecting you.

The son of commerce, aghast at these sounds of melancholy import,

reeled two steps backward, just as if some one had given him a blow

in the bread-basket. Far from smelling a rat in this pleasant trick

of ours, he fancied in good earnest that some secret enemy had made

him an object of suspicion to the holy hue-and-cry; and it might

possibly have happened that, from being rather clumsy at his new

duties as a Christian, he might be conscious of having laid himself

open to serious animadversion. However that might be, I never saw a

man look more foolish. He did as he was ordered without saying nay,

and opened all his lock-up places with the sheepish acquiescence of a

man who stood in awe of an ecclesiastical rap on the knuckles. At

least, said Ambrose as he went in, at least you are not a

contumacious oppugner of our resistless mandates. But withdraw into

another room, and leave me to fulfil the duties of my station without

profane observers. Samuel did not set his face against this command

any more than against the first, but kept himself quiet in his shop,

while we went all three of us into his closet, where, without loss of

time, we laid an embargo on his cash. It was no difficult matter to

find it, for it lay in an open coffer, and in much larger quantity

than we could carry away. There were a great many bags heaped up,

but all in silver. Gold would have been more to our mind; but, as

robbers must not be choosers any more than beggars, we were obliged

to yield to the necessity of the case. Not only did we line our

pockets with ducats, but the most unsearchable parts of our dress

were made the receptacles of our filchings. Yet was there no outward

show of the heavy burden under which we tottered; thanks to the

cunning contrivance of Ambrose and Don Raphael, who proved that there

is nothing like being master of one's trade.

[Illustration: Samuel Simon's money chest]

We marched out of the closet, after having feathered our nests pretty

warmly; and then, for a reason which the reader will have no great

difficulty in guessing, the worshipful inquisitor produced his

padlock, and fixed it on the door with his own hands,--he affixed

moreover his own seal,--and then said to Simon, Master Samuel, I

forbid you, in the name of the holy inquisition, to touch either this

padlock or this seal, which it is your bounden duty to hold sacred,

since it is the authentic seal of our holy office. I shall return

hither this time to-morrow, then and here to open my commission, and

provisionally to take off the interdict. With this injunction, he

ordered the street door to be opened, and we made our escape after

the processional manner, out of our wits with joy. As soon as we had

marched about fifty yards, we began to mend our pace into such a

quick step, aggravated by degrees into a leap and a bound, that we

were almost like vaulters and tumblers, in spite of the weight we

carried. We were soon out of town, and mounting our horses once

more, pushed forward towards Segorba, with many a pious ejaculation

to the god Mercury, on the happy issue of so bold an attempt.

_CHAPTER II._

_THE DETERMINATION OF DON ALPHONSO AND GIL BLAS AFTER THIS ADVENTURE._

We travelled all night, according to our modest and unobtrusive

custom, so that we found ourselves, at sunrise, near a little village

two leagues from Segorba. As we were all tired to death, it was

agreed, unanimously, to strike out of the highway, and rest under the

shade of some willows, which we saw at the foot of a little hill,

about ten or twelve hundred yards from the village, where it did not

seem expedient for us to halt. These willows furnished us with an

agreeable retreat, by the side of a little brook which bubbled as it

washed their roots. The place struck our fancy, and we resolved to

pass the day there. We unbridled our horses, and turned them out to

grass, stretching our own gentle limbs on the soft sod. There we

courted the drowsy god of innocent repose for a while, and then

rummaged to the bottom of our wallet and our wine-skin. After an

ecclesiastical breakfast, we counted up our ten tithes of Samuel

Simon's money, and it mounted to a round three thousand ducats. So

that, with such a sum and what we had before, it might be said

without boasting that we knew how to make both ends meet.

As it was necessary to go to market, Ambrose and Don Raphael,

throwing off their dresses now the play was over, said that they

would take that office conjointly on themselves: the adventure at

Xelva had only sharpened their wit, and they had a mind to look about

Segorba, just to make the experiment whether any opportunity might

offer of striking another stroke. You have nothing to do, added the

heir of Lucinda's wit and wisdom, but to wait for us under these

willows; we shall not be long before we are with you again. Signor

Don Raphael, exclaimed I with a horse-laugh, tell us rather to wait

for you under a more substantial tree--the gallows. If you once

leave us, we are in a month's mind that we shall not see you again

till the day after the fair. This suspicion of our honor goes

against the grain, replied Signor Ambrose; but we deserve that our

characters should suffer in your esteem. It is but reason that you

should distrust our purity, after the affair at Valladolid, and

should fancy that we shall make it no more a matter of conscience to

play at the devil take the hindmost with you, than with the party

that we left in the lurch in that town. Yet you deceive yourselves

egregiously. The gang upon whom we turned the tables were people of

very bad character, and their company began to be disreputable to us.

Thus far justice must be done to the members of our profession, that

there is no bond in all civilized life less liable to be broken by

personal and private interest; but when there are no feelings in

common, our good understanding will be the worse for wear, as it

happens among other descriptions of men. Wherefore, Signor Gil Blas,

I entreat you, and Signor Don Alphonso as well as you, to be somewhat

more liberal in your construction of us, and to set your hearts at

ease respecting Don Raphael's and my whim about going to Segorba.

It is the easiest thing in the world, observed Lucinda's hopeful

brat, to quash all subject of uneasiness on that score; they have

only to remain treasurers of the exchequer, and they will have a

sufficient pledge in their hands for our return. You see, Signor Gil

Blas, that we are all fair and above board. You shall both hold

security for our reappearance, and you may rest assured that for

Ambrose and myself, we shall set off without the slightest misgiving

of your taking to your heels with so valuable a deposit. After so

substantial a proof of our good faith, will you not place implicit

confidence in us? Yes, gentlemen, said I, and you may do at once

whatever seems good in your own eyes. They took their departure

immediately, carrying the bottle and the wallet along with them, and

left me under the willows with Don Alphonso, who said to me, after

they were out of sight, Now is the time, Signor Gil Blas, now is the

time to open my heart to you. I am angry with myself for having been

so easily prevailed on to herd thus far with these two knaves. You

have no idea how many times I have quarrelled with myself on that

score. Yesterday evening, while I was watching the horses, a

thousand mortifying reflections rushed upon my mind. I thought it

did not become a young man of honorable principles to live among such

scurvy fellows as Don Raphael and Lamela; that if by ill luck, some

day or other,--and many a more unlikely thing has happened,--the

success of our swindling tricks should throw us into the hands of

justice, I might sustain the shame of being tried with them as a

reputed thief, and undergoing the disgraceful sentence of the law.

These frightful thoughts present themselves incessantly to my

imagination, and I will own to you that I have determined, as the

only means of escape from the contamination of their bad actions, to

part from them forever. I can scarcely suppose that you will

disapprove of my design. No, I promise you, answered I; though you

have seen me perform the part of the alguazil in Samuel Simon's

comedy, do not fancy that such pieces as those are got up to my

taste. I take heaven to witness that while acting in so witty a

scene, I said to myself, Faith and troth, Master Gil Blas, if justice

should come and lay hold of you by the weasand at this moment, you

would well deserve the penitential wages of your iniquity. I feel

therefore no more disposed than yourself, Don Alphonso, to tarry

longer in such bad company; and if you think well of it, I will bear

you company. When these gentlemen come back, we will demand a

balancing of the accounts, and to-morrow morning, or even to-night

before to-morrow, we will make our bow to them.

The lovely Seraphina's lover approved my proposal. Let us get to

Valencia, said he, and we will embark for Italy, where we shall be

able to enter into the service of the Venetian republic. Will it not

be far better to take up the profession of arms, than to lead such a

dastardly and disreputable life as we are now engaged in? We shall

even be in a condition to make a very handsome figure with the money

that will be coming to us. Not that I appropriate to myself without

remorse a fund so unfairly established; but besides that necessity

obliges me to it, if ever I acquire any property in my campaigns, I

make a vow to indemnify Samuel Simon. I gave Don Alphonso to

understand that my sentiments coincided with his own, and we resolved

at once to separate ourselves from our companions on the following

morning before daybreak. We were above the temptation of profiting

by their absence, that is, of marching off in a hurry with the sum

total of the finances; the confidence they had reposed in leaving us

masters of the whole revenue did not permit such a thought so much as

to pass through our minds.

Ambrose and Don Raphael returned from Segorba just at the close of

day. The first thing they told us was, that their journey had been

propitious, for they had laid the corner-stone of a rascality which,

to all appearance, would turn out still better than that of the

evening before. And thereupon the son of Lucinda was going to put us

in possession of the details; but Don Alphonso cut him short in his

explanation, and declared at once his intention of parting company.

I announced my own wish to do the same. To no purpose did they

employ all their rhetoric to prove to us the propriety of our

accompanying them in their professional travels; we took leave of

them the next morning, after having made an equal division of our

cash, and pushed on towards Valencia.

_CHAPTER III._

_UNFORTUNATE OCCURRENCE, WHICH TERMINATED TO THE HIGH DELIGHT OF DON

ALPHONSO. GIL BLAS MEETS WITH AN ADVENTURE WHICH PLACES HIM ALL AT

ONCE IN A VERY SUPERIOR SITUATION._

We galloped on gayly as far as Bunol, where, us ill luck would have

it, we were obliged to stop. Don Alphonso was taken ill. His

disorder was a high fever, with such an access of alarming symptoms

as put me in fear for his life. By the greatest mercy in the world,

the place was not beset by a single physician, and I got clear off

without any harm but my fright. He was quite out of danger at the

end of three days, and with my nursing, his recovery was rapid and

without relapse. He seemed to be very grateful for my attentions;

and as we really and truly felt a liking for each other, we swore an

eternal friendship.

At length we got on our journey again, in the constant determination,

when we arrived at Valencia, of profiting by the first opportunity

which might offer to go over into Italy. But heaven disposed of us

differently. We saw at the gate of a fine castle some country people

of both sexes making merry and dancing in a ring. We went near to be

spectators of their revels; and Don Alphonso was never less prepared

than for the surprise which all at once came over his senses. He

found it was Baron Steinbach, who was as little backward in

recognizing him, but ran up to him with open arms, and exclaimed, in

accents of unbridled joy, Ah, Don Alphonso! is it you? What a

delightful meeting! While search was making for you in every

direction, chance presents you to my view.

My fellow-traveller dismounted immediately, and ran to embrace the

baron, whose joy seemed to me of an extravagant nature. Come, my

long-lost son, said the good old man; you shall now be informed of

your own birth, and know the happy destiny that awaits you. As he

uttered these words, he conducted him into the castle. I went in

along with them, for while they were exchanging salutations, I had

alighted and tied our horses to a tree. The lord of the castle was

the first person whom we met. He was about the age of fifty, and a

very well-looking man. Sir, said Baron Steinbach, as he introduced

Don Alphonso, behold your son. At these words, Don Cæsar da

Leyva--for by that title the lord of the castle was called--threw his

arms round Don Alphonso's neck, and weeping with joy, muttered

indistinctly, My dear son, know in me the author of your being. If I

have for so long left you in ignorance of your birth and family, rest

assured that the self-denial was mine in the most painful degree. I

have a thousand times been ready to burst with anxiety, but it was

impossible to act otherwise. I had married your mother from sheer

attachment, for her origin was very inferior to mine. I lived under

the control of an austere father, whose severity rendered it

necessary to keep secret a marriage contracted without his sanction.

Baron Steinbach, and he alone, was in my confidence; he brought you

up at my request, and under my directions. At length my father is

laid with his ancestors, and I can own you for my son and heir. This

is not all; I can give you for a bride a young lady whose rank is on

a level with my own. Sir, interrupted Don Alphonso, make me not pay

too dear for the happiness you have just been throwing in my lap.

May I not be told that I have the honor of being your son without

being informed at the same time that you are determined to make me

miserable? Ah, sir! be not more cruel than your own father. If he

did not consent to the indulgence of your passion, at least he never

compelled you to take another wife. My son, replied Don Cæsar, I

have no wish to exercise a tyranny over your inclinations which I

spurned at in my own case. But have the good manners just to see the

lady I design for you; that is all I require from your filial duty.

Though a lovely creature and a very advantageous match, I promise

never to force you into marriage. She is now in this castle. Follow

me; you will be obliged to acknowledge that you have rarely seen a

more attractive object. So saying, he led Don Alphonso into a room

where I made myself one of the party with Baron Steinbach.

There was the Count de Polan with his two daughters, Seraphina and

Julia, and Don Ferdinand de Leyva, his son-in-law, who was Don

Cæsar's nephew. Don Ferdinand, as was mentioned before, had eloped

with Julia, and it was on the occasion of the marriage between these

two lovers that the peasantry of the neighborhood were collected on

this day to congratulate the bride and bridegroom. As soon as Don

Alphonso made his appearance, and his father had introduced him to

the company, the Count de Polan rose from his chair and ran to

embrace him, saying, Welcome, my deliverer! Don Alphonso, added he,

addressing his discourse to him, observe the power of virtue over

generous minds. Though you have killed my son, you saved my life. I

lay aside my resentment forever, and give you that very Seraphina

whose honor you protected from invasion. In so doing, my debt to you

is paid. Don Cæsar's son was not wanting in acknowledgments to the

Count de Polan, nor could he be otherwise than deeply affected by his

goodness; and it may be doubted whether the discovery of his birth

and parentage touched his felicity more nearly than the intelligence

that he was the destined husband of Seraphina. This marriage was

actually solemnized some days afterwards, to the entire satisfaction

of all parties concerned.

As I was one of the Count de Polan's deliverers, this nobleman, who

knew me again immediately, said that he would take upon himself the

care of making my fortune. I thanked him for his liberality, but

would not leave Don Alphonso, who made me steward of his household,

and honored me with his confidence. A few days after his marriage,

still harping upon the trick which had been played to Samuel Simon,

he sent me to return to that cozened shopkeeper all the money which

had been filched from him. I went therefore to make restitution.

This was setting up the trade of a steward, but beginning at the

wrong end: they ought all of them to end with restitution; but nine

hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand think it double trouble,

and excuse themselves.

BOOK THE SEVENTH.

_CHAPTER I._

_THE TENDER ATTACHMENT BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND DAME LORENZA SEPHORA._

Away went I to Xelva with three thousand ducats under my charge, as

an equivalent to Samuel Simon for the amount of his loss. I will

have the honesty to own that my fingers itched, as I jogged along, to

transfer these funds to my own account, and begin my stewardship in

character, since everything in this life depends upon setting out

well. There was no risk in preferring instinct to principle, because

it was only to ride about the country for five or six days, and come

home upon a brisk trot, as if I had done my business and made the

best of my way. Don Alphonso and his father would never have

believed me capable of a breach of trust. Yet, strange to tell, I

was proof against so tempting a suggestion; it would scarcely be too

much to say, that honor, not the fear of being found out, was the

spring of so praiseworthy a decision; and as times go, that is saying

a great deal for a lad whose conscience had been pretty well seasoned

by keeping company with a long succession of scoundrels. Many people

who have not that excuse, but frequent worshipful society, will

wonder how such squeamishness should have prevailed over my good

sense: treasurers of charities in particular; persons who have the

wills of relations in their custody, and do not exactly like the

contents; in short, all those whose characters stand higher than

their principles, will find food for reflection in my overstrained

scrupulosity.

After having made restitution to the merchant, who little thought

ever to have seen one farthing of his property again, I returned to

the castle of Leyva. The Count de Polan had taken his departure, and

was far on his journey to Toledo with Julia and Don Ferdinand. I

found my new master more wrapped up than ever in Seraphina; his

Seraphina equally wrapped up in my master, and Don Cæsar just as much

wrapped up as either in the contemplation of the happy couple. My

object was to gain the good will of this affectionate father, and I

succeeded to my wish. The whole house was placed implicitly under my

superintendence--nothing was done without my special direction; the

tenants paid their rents into my hands; the disbursements of the

family were all under my revision; and the subordinate situations in

the household were at my disposal without appeal; and yet the power

of tyrannizing did not give me the inclination, as it has always

hitherto done to my equals and superiors. I neither turned away the

male servants because I did not like the cut of their beards, nor the

female ones because they happened not to like the cut of mine. If

they made up to Don Cæsar or his son at once, without currying my

favor as the channel of all good graces, far from taking umbrage at

them on that account, I spoke out officiously in their behalf. In

other respects, too, the marks of confidence my two masters were

incessantly lavishing on me inspired me with a substantial zeal for

their service. Their interest was my real object; there was no

sleight of hand in my ministry; I was such a caterer for the general

good as you rarely meet with in private families or in political

societies.

While I was hugging myself on the well-earned prosperity of my

condition, love, jealous of my dealings with fortune, was bent on

sharing my gratitude by the addition of a higher zest. He planted,

watered, and ripened in the heart of Dame Lorenza Sephora,

Seraphina's confidential woman, an abundant crop of liking for the

happy steward. My Helen, not to sink the fidelity of the historian

in the vanity of the man, could not be many months short of her

fiftieth year. But for all that, a look of wholesomeness, a face

none of the ugliest, and two good-looking eyes of which she knew the

efficient use, might make her still pass for a decent bit of

amusement in a summer evening. I could only just have been thankful

for a little more relief to her complexion, since it was precisely

the color of chalk; but that I attributed to maiden concealments,

which had eat away all the damask of her cheek.

The lady ogled me for a long time with ogles that savored more of

passion than of chastity; but instead of communing in the language of

the eyes, I made pretence at first not to be sensible of my own

happiness. Thus did my gallantry appear as if arrayed in its first

blushes; a circumstance which was rather tempting than repulsive to

her feelings. Taking it into her head, therefore, that there was no

standing upon dumb eloquence with a young man who looked more like a

novice than he was, at our very first interview she declared her

sentiments in broad, unequivocal terms, that I might have no plea for

misinterpretation. She played her part like an old stager; affected

to be overwhelmed with confusion while she was speaking to me; and

after having said all she wanted to say in a good audible voice, put

her hand before her face, to hide the shame which was not there, and

make me believe that she was incommoded by the delicacy of her own

feelings. There was no standing such an attack; and though vanity

had a larger share in my surrender than the tender passion, I did not

receive her overtures ungraciously. Nay, more, I presumed to

overlook decorum in my vivacity, and acted the impatient lover so

naturally as to call down a modest rebuke upon my freedoms. Lorenza

chid my fondness, but with so much fondness in her chidings, that

while she prescribed to me the coldness of an anchorite, it was very

evident she would have been miserably disappointed if I had taken her

prescription. I should have pressed the affair at once to the

natural termination of all such affairs, if the lovely object of my

ardent wishes had not been afraid of giving me a left-handed opinion

of her virtue, by abandoning the works before the siege was regularly

formed. This being so, we parted, but with a promise to meet again;

Sephora in the full persuasion that her reluctant resistance would

stamp her for a vestal in my esteem, and myself full of the sweet

hope that the torments of Tantalus would soon be succeeded by an

elysium of enjoyment.

My affairs were in this happy train, when one of Don Cæsar's under

servants brought me such a piece of news as gave an ague to my

raptures. This lad was one of those inquisitive inmates who apply

either an ear or an eye to every keyhole in a house. As he paid his

court constantly to me, and served up some fresh piece of scandal

every day, he came to tell me one morning that he had made a pleasant

discovery; and that he had no objection to letting me into the fun,

on condition that I would not blab; because Dame Lorenza Sephora was

the theme of the joke, and he was afraid of becoming obnoxious to her

resentment and revenge. I was too much interested in coming at the

story he had to tell, not to swear myself into discretion through

thick and thin; but it was necessary that my motive should seem

curiosity, and not personal concern, so that I asked him, with an air

of as much indifference as I could put on, what was this mighty

discovery about which he made such a piece of work. Lorenza,

whispered he, smuggles the surgeon of the village every evening into

her apartment: he is a tight vessel, well armed and manned; and the

pirate generally stays pretty long upon his cruise. I do not mean to

say, added he, with supercilious candor, but that all this may be

perfectly innocent on both sides, but you cannot help admitting that

where a young man does insinuate himself slyly into a girl's

bed-chamber, he takes better care of his own pleasure than of her

reputation.

Though this tale gave me as much uneasiness as if I had been verily

and romantically in love, I had too much sense to let him know it;

but so far stifled my feelings as to laugh heartily at a story which

struck at the very life of all my hopes. But when no witnesses were

by, I made myself full amends for having gulped down my rising

indignation. I blustered and stormed, muttered blessings on them the

wrong way, and swore outright; but all this without coming nearer to

a decision on my own conduct. At one time, holding Lorenza in utter

contempt, it was my good pleasure to give her up altogether, without

condescending so far as to come to any explanation with the coquette.

At another time, laying it down as a principle that my honor was

concerned in making the surgeon an example to all intriguers, I

spirited up my courage to call him out. Thus dangerous valor

prevailed over safe indifference. At the approach of evening I

placed myself in ambuscade; and sure enough, the gentleman did slink

into the temple of my Vesta, with a fear of being found out that

spoke rather unfavorably for the purity of his designs. Nothing

short of this could have kept my rage alive against the chilliness of

the night air. I immediately quitted the precincts of the castle,

and posted myself on the high road, where the gay deceiver was sure

to be intercepted on his return. I waited for him with my fighting

spirits on the full boil: my impatience increased with the lapse of

time, till Mars and Bellona seemed to inhabit my frame, and enlarge

it beyond human dimensions. At length my antagonist came in sight.

I took a few strides, such as bully Mars or Bellona might have taken;

but I do not know how the devil it came to pass, my courage went

farther off as my body came nearer; my frame was contracted within

somewhat less than its human dimensions, and my heart felt exactly

like the heart of a coward. The hearts of Homer's heroes felt

exactly the same, when the dastardly dogs were not backed by a

supernatural Drawcansir! In short, I was just as much out of my

element as ever Paris was when he pitted himself against Menelaus in

single combat. I began taking measure of this operator in love, war,

and anatomy. He appeared to be large limbed and well knit, with a

sword by his side of a most abominable length. All this made me

consider that the better part of valor is discretion: nevertheless,

whether from the superiority of mind over the nervous system in a

case of honor, or from whatever other cause, though the danger grew

bigger as the distance diminished, and in spite of nature, which

pleaded obstinately that honor is a mere scutcheon, and can neither

set a leg nor take away the grief of a wound, I mustered up boldness

enough to march forward towards the surgeon sword in hand.

My proceeding seemed to him to be of the drollest. What is the

matter, Signor Gil Blas? exclaimed he. Why all this fire and fury?

You are in a bantering mood, to all appearance. No, good master

shaver, answered I, no such thing; there never was anything more

serious since Cain killed Abel. I am determined to try the

experiment, whether as little preparation serves your turn in the

field of battle as in a lady's chamber. Hope not that you will be

suffered to possess without a rival that heaven of bliss in which you

have been indulging but this moment at the castle. By all the

martyrdoms we phlebotomizers have ever suffered or inflicted, replied

the surgeon, setting up a shout of laughter, this is a most whimsical

adventure. As heaven is my judge, appearances are very little to be

trusted. At this put off, fancying that he had no keener stomach for

cold iron than myself, I got to be ten times more overbearing. Teach

your parrot to speak better Spanish, my friend, interrupted I; do you

think we do not know a hawk from a hernshaw? Imagine not that the

simple denial of the fact will settle the business. I see plainly,

replied he, that I shall be obliged to speak out, or some mischief

must happen either to you or me. I shall therefore disclose a secret

to you, though men in our profession cannot be too much on the

reserve. If Dame Lorenza sends for me into her apartment under

suspicious circumstances, it is only to conceal from the servants the

knowledge of her malady. She has an incurable ulcer in her back,

which I come every evening to dress. This is the real occasion of

those visits which disturb your peace. Henceforward, rest assured

that you have her all to yourself. But if you are not satisfied with

this explanation, and are absolutely bent on a fencing match, you

have only to say so: I am not a man to turn my back upon a game at

sword play. With these words in his mouth, he drew his long rapier,

which made my heart jump into my throat, and stood upon his guard.

It is enough, said I, putting my sword up again in its scabbard; I am

not a wild beast, to turn a deaf ear to reason: after what you have

told me, there is no cause of enmity between us. Let us shake hands.

At this proposal, by which he found out that I was not such a devil

of a fellow as he had taken me for, he returned his weapon with a

laugh, met my advances to be reconciled, and we parted the best

friends in the world.

From that time forward Sephora never came into my thoughts but with

the most disgusting associations. I shunned all the opportunities

she gave me of entertaining her in private, and this with so obvious

a study, almost bordering on rudeness, that she could not but notice

it. Astonished at so sudden a reverse, she was dying to know the

cause, and at length, finding the means of pinning me down to a

tête-à-tête, Good Mr. Steward, said she, tell me, if so please you,

why you avoid the very sight of me? It is true that I made the first

advances; but then you fed the consuming fire. Recall to memory, if

it is not too great a favor, the private interview wo had together.

Then you were a magazine of combustibles, now you are as frozen as

the north sea. What is the meaning of all this? The question was

not a little difficult of solution, for a man unaccustomed to the

violence of amorous interrogatories. The consequence was, that it

puzzled me most confoundedly. I do not precisely recollect the

identical lie I told the lady, but I recollect perfectly that nothing

but the truth could have affronted her more highly. Sephora, though

by her mincing air and modest outside one might have taken her for a

lamb, was a tigress when the savage was roused in her nature. I did

think, said she, darting a glance at me full of malice and

hideousness, I did think to have conferred such honor as was never

conferred before, on a little scoundrel like you, by betraying

sentiments which the first nobility in the country would make it

their boast to excite. Fitly indeed am I punished for having

preposterously lowered myself to the level of a dirty, snivelling

adventurer.

That was pretty well; but she did not stop there: I should have come

off too cheaply on such terms. Her fury taking a long lease of her

tongue, that brawling instrument of discord rung a bob-major of

invective, each strain more clamorous and confounding than the

former. It certainly was my duty to have received it all with cool

indifference, and to have considered candidly that in triumphing over

female reserve, and then not taking possession of the conquest, I had

committed that sin against the sex which would have transformed the

most feminine of them into a Sephora. But I was too irritable to

bear abuse, at which a man of sense in my place would only have

laughed; and my patience was at length exhausted. Madam, said I, let

us not rake into each other's personal misfortunes. If the first

nobility in the country had only looked at your back, they would have

forgotten all your other charms, and have boasted but little of the

sentiments they had excited you to betray. I had no sooner laid in

this home stroke, than the enraged duenna visited me with the hardest

box on the ear that ever yet proceeded from the delicate fingers of a

woman scorned. Such favors might pall on repetition; so I did not

wait for a second, but took shelter in the nimbleness of my legs from

the clatter of castigation she was going to shower down on me.

I returned thanks to the protecting powers for having brought me

clear off from this unequal encounter, and fancied that I had nothing

further to apprehend, since the lady had taken corporal vengeance.

It was likely, too, that she would be wise and hold her tongue, for

the honor of her own back; and, in point of fact, a full fortnight

had elapsed without my hearing a word upon the subject. The very

tingling in my own cheek began to abate, when I was told that Sephora

was taken ill. With that forgiveness of injuries so natural to me, I

was sincerely afflicted at the news. I really felt for the poor

lady. I concluded that, unable to contend with a passion so ill

repaid, that hapless victim of her own tenderness was giving up the

ghost. It was with exquisite pain that I turned this subject in my

thoughts. I was the cruel cause that her heart was breaking; and my

pity, at least, was the duenna's, though love is too wayward to be

controlled by advice. But I was miserably mistaken in her nature.

Her tenderness had all curdled into acrimonious hatred; and at that

very moment was she plotting to be my bane.

One morning, while I was with Don Alphonso, that amiable young master

of mine was absent, moody, and out of spirits. I inquired

respectfully what was the matter. I am vexed to the soul, said he,

to find Seraphina weak, unjust, ungrateful. You are not a little

surprised at this, added he, remarking the expression of astonishment

with which I heard him; yet nothing is more strictly and lamentably

true. I know not what reason you have given Dame Lorenza to be at

variance with you; but true it is, you are become so unbearably

hateful to her, that if you do not get out of this castle as soon as

possible, her death, she says, must be the sure consequence. You

cannot but suppose that Seraphina, who knows your value, used all her

influence at first against a prejudice to which she could not

administer without injustice and ingratitude. But though the best of

women, she is still a woman. Sephora brought her up, and she loves

her like a mother. Should her old nurse die shortly, she would fancy

she had her death to answer for, had she refused herself to any of

her whims. For my own part, with all my affection towards

Seraphina,--and it is none of the weakest,--I will never be guilty of

so mean a compliance as to side with her on this question. Perish

our duennas! perish the whole system of our Spanish vigilance! but

never let me consent to the banishment of a young man whom I look

upon rather as a brother than a servant!

When Don Alphonso had thus expressed his sentiments, I said to him,

My good sir, I am born to be the mere whipping-top of fortune. It

had been my hope that she would leave off persecuting me when under

your roof, where everything held out to me happy days and an

unruffled life. Now, the part for honor to take is to tear myself

away, whatever hankering I may feel after my continuance. No, no,

exclaimed the generous son of Don Cæsar. Leave me to bring Seraphina

to a proper view of things. It shall never be said that you are

sacrificed to the caprices of a duenna, who, on every occasion, has

but too much influence over the family. All you will get by it, sir,

replied I, will only be to put Seraphina in an ill humor by opposing

her wishes. I had much rather withdraw, than run the risk, by a

longer abode here, of sowing division between a married pair, who are

a model of conjugal felicity. Such a consequence of my unhappy

quarrel would make me miserable for the remainder of my days.

Don Alphonso absolutely forbade me to take any hasty step; and I

found him so determined in the intention of standing by me, that

Lorenza must infallibly have been thrown into the background, if I

had chosen to have stood an election against her. There were moments

when, exasperated against the duenna, I was tempted to keep no

measures with her; but when I came to consider that to unravel this

surgical mystery would be to plunge a dagger into the heart of a poor

creature, whose curse had been my fastidious prejudice against an

ulcerated back, and whom a physical and mental misfortune were

conjointly handing down to the grave, I lost all feeling but that of

compassion towards her. It was evident, since I was so portentous a

phenomenon, that it was my imperious duty to reëstablish the

tranquillity of the castle by my absence; and that duty I performed

the next morning before daybreak, without taking any leave of my two

masters, for fear they should oppose my departure from a misplaced

partiality towards me. My only notice was to leave behind in my

chamber a memorial, containing an exact account of my receipts and

disbursements during the time of my stewardship.

_CHAPTER II._

_WHAT HAPPENED TO GIL BLAS AFTER HIS RETREAT FROM THE CASTLE OF

LEYVA, SHOWING THAT THOSE WHO ARE CROSSED IN LOVE ARE NOT ALWAYS THE

MOST MISERABLE OF MANKIND._

I was mounted on a good horse, my own property, and was the bearer of

two hundred pistoles, the greater part of which arose from the

plunder of the vanquished banditti, and the forfeiture of Samuel

Simon by the Inquisition; for Don Alphonso, without requiring me to

account for any part of the said forfeiture, had made restitution of

the entire sum out of his own funds. Thus, considering my effects,

however obtained, as converted into lawful property by a sort of

vicarious sponsorship, I took them into my good graces without any

remorse of conscience. An estate like this rendered it absurd to

throw away any thought about the future; and a certain likelihood of

doing well, which always hangs about a young man at my age, held out

an additional security against the caprices of fortune. Besides,

Toledo offered me a retreat exactly to my mind. There could not be a

doubt but the Count de Polan would take a pleasure in giving a kind

reception to one of his deliverers, and would insist on his accepting

an apartment in his own house. But I only looked upon this nobleman

as a very distant resource; and determined, before laying any tax on

his grateful recollection, to spend part of my ready cash in

travelling over the provinces of Murcia and Grenada, which I had a

very particular inclination to see. With this intention I took the

Almanza road, and afterwards, following the route chalked out,

travelled from town to town as far as the city of Grenada, without

stumbling on any sinister occurrence. It should seem as if fortune,

wearied out with the school-girl's tricks she had been playing me,

was contented at last to leave me as she found me. But she still had

her skittish designs upon me, as will be seen in the sequel.

One of the first persons I met in the streets of Grenada was Signor

Don Ferdinand de Leyva, son-in-law, as well as Don Alphonso, of the

Count de Polan. We were both of us equally surprised at meeting so

far from home. How is this, Gil Blas? exclaimed he--to find you in

this city! What the devil brings you hither? Sir, said I, if you

are astonished at seeing me in this country, you will be ten times

more so when you shall know why I have quitted the service of Signor

Don Cæsar and his son. Then I recounted to him all that had passed

between Sephora and myself, without garbling the facts in any

particular. He laughed heartily at the recital; then, recovering his

gravity, My friend, said he, my mediation is at your service in this

affair. I will write to my sister-in-law ... No, no, sir,

interrupted I, do not write upon the subject, I beseech you. I did

not quit the castle of Leyva to go back again. You may, if you

please, make another use of the kindness you have expressed for me.

If any of your friends should be looking out for a secretary or a

steward, I should be much obliged to you to speak a good word in my

favor. I will take upon me to assure you that you will never be

reproached with recommending an improper object. You have only to

command me, answered he; I will do whatever you desire. My business

at Grenada is to visit an old aunt in an ill state of health. I

shall be here three weeks longer, after which I shall set out on my

return to my castle of Lorqui, where I have left Julia. That is my

lodging, added he, showing me a house about a hundred yards from us.

Call upon me in a few days; probably I may by that time have hit upon

some eligible appointment.

And, in fact, so it was; for the very first time that we came

together again, he said to me, My Lord Archbishop of Grenada, my

relation and friend, is in want of a young man with some little tinge

of literature, who can write a good hand and make fair copies of his

manuscripts, for he is a great author. He has composed I know not

how many homilies, and still goes on composing more every day, which

he delivers to the high edification of his audience. As you seem to

be just the thing for him, I have mentioned your name, and he has

promised to take you. Go, and make your bow to him as from me; you

will judge, by his reception of you, whether my recommendation has

been couched in handsome terms.

The situation was, to all appearance, exactly what I should have

picked out for myself. That being the case, with such an arrangement

of my air and person as seemed most likely to square with the ideas

of a reverend prelate, I presented myself one morning before the

archbishop. If this were a gorgeous romance, and not a grave

history, here might we introduce a pompous description of the

episcopal palace, with architectural digressions on the structure of

the building; here would be the place to expatiate on the costliness

of the furniture like an upholsterer, to criticise the statues and

pictures like a connoisseur; and the pictures themselves would be

nothing to the uninformed reader, without the stories they represent,

till universal history, fabulous and authentic, sacred and profane,

should be pressed into the service. But I shall content myself with

modestly stating that the royal palace itself is scarcely superior in

magnificence.

Throughout the suite of apartments, there was a complete mob of

ecclesiastics and other officers, consisting of chaplains, ushers,

upper and menial servants. Those of them who were laymen were most

superbly attired; one would sooner have taken them for temporal

nobility than for spiritual under-strappers. They were as proud as

the devil, and gave themselves intolerably consequential airs. I

could not help laughing in my sleeve, when I considered who and what

they were, and how they behaved. Set a beggar on horseback! said I.

These gentry are in luck to carry a pack without feeling the drag of

it, for surely if they knew they were beasts of burden, they would

not jingle their bells with so high a toss of the head. I ventured

just to speak to a grave and portly personage who stood sentinel at

the door of the archbishop's closet, to turn it upon its hinges as

occasion might require. I asked him civilly if there was no

possibility of speaking with my lord archbishop. Stop a little, said

he, with a supercilious demeanor and repulsive tone; his grace will

shortly come forth, to go and hear mass; you may snatch an audience

for a moment as he passes on. I answered not a single syllable.

Patience was all I had for it; and it even seemed advisable to try

and enter into conversation with some of the jacks in office; but

they began conning me over from the sole of my foot to the crown of

my head, without condescending to favor me with a single

interjection; after which they winked at one another, whispered, and

looked out at the corners of their eyes, in derision of the liberty I

had assumed, by intruding upon their select society.

I felt, more fool that I did so, quite out of countenance at such

cavalier treatment from a knot of state footmen. My confusion was

but beginning to subside, when the closet door opened. The

archbishop made his appearance. A profound silence immediately

ensued among his officers, who quitted at once their insolent

behavior, to adopt a more respectful style before their master. That

prelate was in his sixty-ninth year, formed nearly on the model of my

uncle, Gil Perez, the canon, which is as much as to say, as broad as

he was long. But the highest dignitaries should always be the most

amply gifted; accordingly his legs bowed inwards to the very

extremity of the graceful curve, and his bald head retained but a

single lock behind, so that he was obliged to ensconce his

pericranium in a fine woollen cap with long ears. In spite of all

this, I espied the man of quality in his deportment, doubtless,

because I knew that he actually happened to be one. We common

fellows, the fungous growth of the human dunghill, look up to great

lords with a facility of being overawed, which often furnishes them

with a Benjamin's mess of importance when nature has denied even the

most scanty and trivial gifts.

The archbishop moved towards me in a minuet step, and kindly inquired

what I wanted. I told him I was the young man about whom Signor Don

Ferdinand de Leyva had spoken to him. He did not give me a moment to

go on with my story. Ah! is it you? exclaimed he; is it you of whom

so fine a character has been given me? I take you into my service at

once; you are a mine of literary utility to me. You have only to

take up your abode here. Talking thus condescendingly, he supported

himself between two ushers, and moved onwards, after having given

audience to some of his clergy, who had ecclesiastical business to

communicate. He was scarcely out of the room, when the same officers

who had turned upon their heel, were now cap in hand to court my

conversation. Here the rascals are, pressing round me, currying

favor, and expressing their sincere joy at seeing me become as it

were an heirloom of the archbishopric. They had heard what their

master had said, and were dying with anxiety to know on what footing

I was to be about him; but I had the ill nature not to satisfy their

curiosity, in revenge for their contempt.

My lord archbishop was not long before he returned. He took me with

him into his closet for a little private conference. I could not but

suppose that he meant to fathom the depth of my understanding. I was

accordingly on my guard, and prepared to measure out my words most

methodically. He questioned me first in the classics. My answers

were not amiss; he was convinced that I had more than a schoolboy's

acquaintance with the Greek and Latin writers. He examined me next

in logic; nor could I but suppose that he would examine me in logic.

He found me strong enough there. Your education, said he, with some

degree of surprise, has not been neglected. Now let us see your

handwriting. I took a blank piece of paper out of my pocket, which I

had brought for the purpose. My ghostly father was not displeased

with my performance. I am very well satisfied with the mechanical

part of your qualifications, exclaimed he, and still more so with the

powers of your mind. I shall thank my nephew, Don Ferdinand, most

heartily, for having sent me so fine a lad; it is absolutely a gift

from above.

We were interrupted by some of the neighboring gentry, who were come

to dine with the archbishop. I left them together, and withdrew to

the second table, where the whole household, with one consent,

insisted on giving me the upper hand. Dinner is a busy time at an

episcopal ordinary; and yet we snatched a moment to make our

observations on each other. What a mortified propriety was painted

on the outside of the clergy! They had all the look of a deputation

from a better world: strange to think how place and circumstance

impose on the deluded sense of men! It never once came into my

thoughts that all this sanctity might possibly be a false coin; just

as if there could be nothing but what appertained to the kingdom

above, among the successors of the apostles on earth.

I was seated by the side of an old valet-de-chambre, by name Melchior

de la Ronda. He took care to help me to all the nice bits. His

attentions were not lost upon me, and my good manners quite

enraptured him. My worthy sir, said he, in a low voice, after dinner

I should like to have a little private talk with you. At the same

time he led the way to a part of the palace where we could not be

overheard, and there addressed me as follows: My son, from the very

first instant that I saw you, I felt a certain prepossession in your

favor. Of this I will give you a certain proof, by communicating in

confidence what will be of great service to you. You are here in a

family where true believers and painted hypocrites are playing at

cross purposes against each other. It would take an antediluvian age

to feel the ground under your feet. I will spare so long and so

disgusting a study, by letting you into the characters on both sides.

After this, if you do not play your cards, it is your own fault.

I shall begin with his grace. He is a very pious prelate, employed

without ceasing in the instruction of the people, whom he brings back

to virtue, like sheep gone astray, by sermons full of excellent

morality, and written by himself. He has retired from court these

twenty years, to watch over his flock with the zeal of an

affectionate pastor. He is a very learned person, and a very

impressive declaimer: his whole delight is in preaching, and his

congregation take care he should know that their whole delight is in

hearing him. There may possibly be some little leaven of vanity in

all this heavenly-mindedness; but, besides that it is not for human

fallibility to search the heart, it would ill become me to rake into

the faults of a person whose bread I eat. Were it decent to lay my

finger on any thing unbecoming in my master, I should discommend his

starchness. Instead of exercising forbearance towards frail

churchmen, he visits every peccadillo as if it were a heinous

offence. Above all, he prosecutes those with the utmost rigor of the

spiritual court, who, wrapping themselves up in their innocence,

appeal to the canons for their justification, in bar of his despotic

authority. There is besides another awkward trait in his character,

common to him with many other people of high rank. Though he is very

fond of the people about him, he pays not the least attention to

their services, but lets them sink into years without a moment's

thought about securing them any provision. If at any time he makes

them any little presents, they may thank the goodness of some one who

shall have spoken up in their behalf: he would never have his wits

enough about him to do the slightest thing for them as a volunteer.

This is just what the old valet-de-chambre told me of his master.

Next, he let me into what he thought of the clergymen with whom we

had dined. His portraits might be likenesses; but they were too

hard-featured to be owned by the originals. It must be admitted,

however, that he did not represent them as honest men, but only as

very scandalous priests. Nevertheless, he made some exceptions, and

was as loud in their praises as in his censure of the others. I was

no longer at any loss how to play my part so as to put myself on an

equal footing with these gentry. That very, evening, at supper, I

took a leaf out of their book, and arrayed myself in the convenient

vesture of a wise and prudent outside. A clothing of humility and

sanctification costs nothing. Indeed it offers such a premium to the

wearer, that we are not to wonder if this world abounds in a

description of people called hypocrites.

_CHAPTER III._

_GIL BLAS BECOMES THE ARCHBISHOP'S FAVORITE, AND THE CHANNEL OF ALL

HIS FAVORS._

I had been after dinner to get together my baggage, and take my horse

from the inn where I had put up, and afterwards returned to supper at

the archbishop's palace, where a neatly-furnished room was got ready

for me, and such a bed as was more likely to pamper than to mortify

the flesh. The day following, his grace sent for me quite as soon as

I was ready to go to him. It was to give me a homily to transcribe.

He made a point of having it copied with all possible accuracy. It

was done to please him; for I omitted neither accent, nor comma, nor

the minutest tittle of all he had marked down. His satisfaction at

observing this was heightened by its being unexpected. Eternal

Father! exclaimed he in a holy rapture, when he had glanced his eye

over all the folios of my copy, was ever any thing seen so correct?

You are too good a transcriber not to have some little smattering of

the grammarian. Now tell me with the freedom of a friend: in writing

it over, have you been struck with nothing that grated upon your

feelings? Some little careless idiom, or some word used in an

improper sense? O! may it please your grace, answered I with a

modest air, it is not for me, with my confined education and coarse

taste, to aim at making critical remarks. And though ever so well

qualified, I am satisfied that your grace's works would come out pure

from the essay. The successor of the apostles smiled at my answer.

He made no observation on it; but it was easy to see through all his

piety that he was an arrant author at the bottom: there is something

in that dye that not heaven itself can wash out.

I seemed to have purchased the fee-simple of his good graces by my

flattery. Day after day did I get a step farther in his esteem; and

Don Ferdinand, who came to see him very often, told me my footing was

so firm, that there could not be a doubt but my fortune was made. Of

this my master himself gave me a proof some little time afterwards;

and the occasion was as follows: One evening in his closet he

rehearsed before me, with appropriate emphasis and action, a homily

which he was to deliver the next day in the cathedral. He did not

content himself with asking me what I thought of it in the gross, but

insisted on my telling him what passages struck me most. I had the

good fortune to pick out those which were nearest to his own taste,

his favorite common-places. Thus, as luck would have it, I passed in

his estimation for a man who had a quick and natural relish of the

real and less obvious beauties in a work. This, indeed, exclaimed

he, is what you may call having discernment and feeling in

perfection! Well, well, my friend! it cannot be said of you,

Bœotum in crasso jurares aëre natum.

In a word, he was so highly pleased with me, as to add, in a tone of

extraordinary emotion, Never mind, Gil Blas! henceforward take no

care about hereafter: I shall make it my business to place you among

the favored children of my bounty. You have my best wishes; and to

prove to you that you have them, I shall take you into my inmost

confidence.

These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than I fell at his

grace's feet, quite overwhelmed with gratitude. I embraced his

elliptical legs with almost pagan idolatry, and considered myself as

a man on the high road to a very handsome fortune. Yes, my child,

resumed the archbishop, whose speech had been cut short by the

rapidity of my prostration, I mean to make you the receiver-general

of all my inmost ruminations. Hearken attentively to what I am going

to say. I have a great pleasure in preaching. The Lord sheds a

blessing on my homilies; they sink deep into the hearts of sinners;

set up a glass in which vice sees its own image, and bring back many

from the paths of error into the high road of repentance. What a

heavenly sight, when a miser, scared at the hideous picture drawn by

my eloquence of his avarice, opens his coffers to the poor and needy,

and dispenses the accumulated store with a liberal hand? The

voluptuary, too, is snatched from the pleasures of the table;

ambition flies at my command to the wholesome discipline of the

monastic cell; while female frailty, tottering on the brink of ruin,

with one ear open to the siren voice of the seducer, and the other to

my saintly correctives, is restored to domestic happiness and the

approving smile of heaven, by the timely warnings of the pulpit.

These miraculous conversions, which happen almost every Sunday, ought

of themselves to goad me on in the career of saving souls.

Nevertheless, to conceal no part of my weakness from my monitor,

there is another reward on which my heart is intent, a reward which

the seraphic scrupulousness of my virtue to little purpose condemns

as too carnal; a literary reputation for a sublime and elegant style.

The honor of being handed down to posterity as a perfect pulpit

orator has its irresistible attractions. My compositions are

generally thought to be equally powerful and persuasive; but I could

wish of all things to steer clear of the rock on which good authors

split, who are too long before the public, and to retire from

professional life with my reputation in undiminished lustre.

To this end, my dear Gil Blas, continued the prelate, there is one

thing requisite from your zeal and friendship. Whenever it shall

strike you that my pen begins to contract, as it were, the

ossification of old age, whenever you see my genius in its

climacteric, do not fail to give me a hint. There is no trusting to

one's self in such a case; pride and conceit were the original sin of

man. The probe of criticism must be intrusted to an impartial

stander-by, of fine talents and unshaken probity. Both those

requisites centre in you: you are my choice, and I give myself up to

your direction. Heaven be praised, my lord, said I, there is no need

to trouble yourself with any such thoughts yet. Besides, an

understanding of your grace's mould and calibre will last out double

the time of a common genius; or, to speak with more certainty and

truth, it will never be the worse for wear, if you live to the age of

Methusalem. I consider you as a second Cardinal Ximenes, whose

powers, superior to decay, instead of flagging with years, seemed to

derive new vigor from their approximation with the heavenly regions.

No flattery, my friend! interrupted he. I know myself to be in

danger of failing all at once. At my age one begins to be sensible

of infirmities, and those of the body communicate with the mind. I

repeat it to you, Gil Blas, as soon as you shall be of opinion that

my head is not so clear as usual, give me warning of it instantly.

Do not be afraid of offending by frankness and sincerity: to put me

in mind of my own frailty will be the strongest proof of your

affection for me. Besides, your very interest is concerned in it,

for if it should, by any spite of chance towards you, come to my ears

that the people say in town, "His grace's sermons produce no longer

their accustomed impression; it is time for him to abandon his pulpit

to younger candidates," I do assure you, most seriously and solemnly,

you will lose not only my friendship, but the provision for life that

I have promised you. Such will be the result of your silly tampering

with truth.

Here my patron left off to wait for my answer, which was an echo of

his speech, and a promise of obeying him in all things. From that

moment there were no secrets from me; I became the prime favorite.

All the household, except Melchior de la Ronda, looked at me with an

eye of envy. It was curious to observe the manner in which the whole

establishment, from the highest to the lowest, thought it necessary

to demean themselves towards his grace's confidential secretary;

there was no meanness to which they would not stoop to curry favor

with me; I could scarcely believe they were Spaniards. I left no

stone unturned to be of service to them, without being taken in by

their interested assiduities. My lord archbishop, at my entreaty,

took them by the hand. He got a company for one, and fitted him out

so as to make a handsome figure in the army. Another he sent to

Mexico, with a considerable appointment which he procured him; and I

obtained a good slice of his bounty for my friend Melchior. It was

evident, from these facts, that if the prelate was not particularly

active in good works, at least he rarely gave a churlish refusal,

when any one had the courage to importune him for his benevolence.

But what I did for a priest seems to deserve being noticed more at

large. One day a certain licentiate, by name Lewis Garcias, a

well-looking man still in the prime of life, was presented to me by

our steward, who said, Signor Gil Blas, in this honest ecclesiastic

you behold one of my best friends. He was formerly chaplain to a

nunnery. Scandal has taken a few liberties with his chastity.

Malicious stories have been trumped up to hurt him in my lord

archbishop's opinion, who has suspended him, and unfortunately is so

strongly prejudiced by his enemies, as to be deaf to any petition in

his favor. In vain have we interested the first people in Grenada to

get him reëstablished; our master will not hear of it.

These first people in Grenada, said I, have gone the wrong way to

work. It would have been much better if no interest at all had been

made for the reverend licentiate. People have only done him a

mischief by endeavoring to serve him. I know my lord archbishop

thoroughly: entreaties and importunate recommendations do but

aggravate the ill condition of a clergyman who lies under his

displeasure: it is but a very short time ago since I heard him mutter

the following sentiment to himself. The more persons a priest, who

has been guilty of any misconduct, engages to speak to me in his

behalf, the more widely is the scandal of the church disseminated,

and the more severe is my treatment of the offender. That is very

unlucky, replied the steward; and my friend would be put to his last

shifts if he did not write a good hand. But, happily, he has the pen

of a ready scribe, and keeps his head above water by the exercise of

that talent. I was curious to see whether this boasted handwriting

was so much better than my own. The licentiate, who had a specimen

in his pocket, showed me a sheet which I admired very much: it had

all the regularity of a writing-master's copy. In looking over this

model of penmanship, an idea occurred to me. I begged Garcias to

leave this paper in my hands, saying that I might be able to do

something with it which should turn out to his advantage; that I

could not explain myself at that moment, but would tell him more the

next day. The licentiate, to whom the steward had evidently talked

big about my capacity to serve him, withdrew in as good spirits as if

he had already been restored to his functions.

I was in earnest in my endeavor that he should be so, and lost no

time in setting to work. Happening to be alone with the archbishop,

I produced the specimen. My patron was delighted with it. Seizing

on this favorable opportunity, May it please your grace, said I,

since you are determined not to put your homilies to the press, I

should very much like them at least to be transcribed in this

masterly manner.

I am very well satisfied with your performance, answered the prelate;

but yet I own that it would be a pleasant thing enough to have a copy

of my works in that hand. Your grace, replied I, has only to signify

your wishes. The man who copies so well is a licentiate of my

acquaintance. It will give him so much the more pleasure to gratify

you, as it may be the means of interesting your goodness to extricate

him from the melancholy situation to which he has the misfortune at

present to be reduced.

The prelate could not do otherwise than inquire the name of this

licentiate. I told him it was Lewis Garcias. He is in despair at

having drawn down your censure upon him. That Garcias, interrupted

he, if I am not mistaken, was chaplain in a convent of nuns, and has

been brought into the ecclesiastical court as a delinquent. I

recollect some very heavy charges which have been sent me against

him. His morals are not the most exemplary. May it please your

grace, interrupted I in my turn, it is not for me to justify him in

all points; but I know that he has enemies. He maintains that the

authors of the informations you have received are more bent on doing

him an ill office than on vindicating the purity of religion. That

very possibly may be the case, replied the archbishop; there are a

great many firebrands in the world. Besides, though we should take

it for granted that his conduct has not always been above suspicion,

he may have repented of his sins; in short, the mercies of heaven are

infinite, however heinous our transgressions. Bring that licentiate

before me; I take off his suspension.

Thus it is that men of the most austere character descend from their

altitudes when interest or a favorite whim reduces them to the level

of the frail. The archbishop granted, without a struggle, to the

empty vanity of having his works well copied, what he had refused to

the most respectable applications. I carried the news with all

possible expedition to the steward, who communicated it to his friend

Garcias. That licentiate, on the following day, came to return me

thanks commensurate with the favor obtained. I presented him to my

master, who contented himself with giving him a slight reprimand, and

put the homilies into his hand, to copy them out fair. Garcias

performed the task so satisfactorily, that he was reinstated in the

cure of souls, and was afterwards preferred to the living of Gabia, a

large market town in the neighborhood of Grenada.

_CHAPTER IV._

_THE ARCHBISHOP IS AFFLICTED WITH A STROKE OF APOPLEXY. HOW GIL BLAS

GETS INTO A DILEMMA, AND HOW HE GETS OUT._