CHAPTER XVI.

An Accident happens to the Count de Galiano's Monkey; his Lordship's

Affliction on that Occasion. The Illness of Gil Blas, and its

Consequences.

BOOK THE EIGHTH.

CHAPTER I.

Gil Blas scrapes an Acquaintance of some Value, and finds wherewithal

to make him Amends for the Count de Galiano's Ingratitude. Don

Valerio de Luna's Story.

CHAPTER II.

Gil Blas is introduced to the Duke of Lerma, who admits him among the

Number of his Secretaries, and requires a Specimen of his Talents,

with which he is well satisfied.

CHAPTER III.

All is not Gold that glitters. Some Uneasiness resulting from the

Discovery of that Principle in Philosophy, and its practical

Application to existing Circumstances.

CHAPTER IV.

Gil Blas becomes a Favorite with the Duke of Lerma, and the Confidant

of an important Secret.

CHAPTER V.

The Joys, the Honors, and the Miseries of a Court Life in the Person

of Gil Blas.

CHAPTER VI.

Gil Blas gives the Duke of Lerma a Hint of his wretched Condition.

That Minister deals with him accordingly.

CHAPTER VII.

A good Use made of the fifteen hundred Ducats. A first Introduction

to the Trade of Office, and an Account of the Profit accruing

therefrom.

HISTORY OF GIL BLAS OF SANTILLANE.

BOOK THE FOURTH.--(CONTINUED).

_CHAPTER VII._

_GIL BLAS LEAVES HIS PLACE AND GOES INTO THE SERVICE OF DON GONZALES

PACHECO._

Three weeks after marriage, my mistress bethought herself of

rewarding the services I had rendered her. She made me a present of

a hundred pistoles, telling me at the same time: Gil Blas, my good

fellow, it is not that I mean to turn you away, for you have my free

leave to stay here as long as you please; but my husband has an

uncle, Don Gonzales Pacheco, who wants you very much for a

valet-de-chambre. I have given you so excellent a character, that he

would let me have no peace till I consented to part with you. He is

a very worthy old nobleman, so that you will be quite in your element

in his family.

I thanked Aurora for all her kindness, and, as my occupation was over

about her, I so much the more readily accepted the post that offered,

as it was merely a transfer from one branch of the Pachecos to

another. One morning, therefore, I called on the illustrious Don

Gonzales with a message from the bride. He ought at least to have

overslept himself, for he was in bed at near noon. When I went into

his chamber, a page had just brought him a basin of soup, which he

was taking. The dotard cherished his whiskers, or rather tortured

them with curling-papers; though his eyes were sunk in their sockets,

his complexion pale, and his visage emaciated. This was one of those

old codgers who have been a little whimsical or so in their youth,

and have made poor amends for their freedoms by the discretion of

their riper age. His reception of me was affable enough, with an

assurance that if my attachment to him kept pace with my fidelity to

his niece, my condition should not be worse than that of my fellows.

I promised to place him in my late mistress's shoes, and became the

working partner in a new firm.

A new firm it undoubtedly was, and heaven knows we had a strange head

of the house. The resurrection of Lazarus was an ordinary event

compared to his getting up. Imagine to yourself a long bag of dry

bones, a mere skeleton, a dissection, an anatomy of a man; a study in

osteology! As for the legs, three or four pair of stockings, one

over the other, had no room to make any figure upon them. In

addition to the foregoing, this mummy before death was asthmatic, and

therefore obliged to divide the little breath he had between his

cough and his loquacity. He breakfasted on chocolate. On the

strength of that refreshment, he ventured to call for pen, ink, and

paper, and to write a short note, which he sealed and sent to its

address by the page who had administered the broth. But this

henceforth will be your office, my good lad, said he, as he turned

his haggard eyes upon me; all my little concerns will be in your

hands, and especially those in which Donna Euphrasia takes an

interest. That lady is an enchanting young creature, with whom I am

distractedly in love, and by whom, though I say it who should not say

it, I am met with all the mutual ardor of inextinguishable and

unutterable passion.

Heaven defend us! thought I within myself: good now! if this old

antidote to rapture can fancy himself an object on which the fair

should waste their sweets, is it any wonder that among our young

folks each fancies himself the Adonis, for whom every Venus pines?

Gil Blas, pursued he with a chuckle, this very day will I take you to

this abode of pleasure: it is my house of call almost every evening

for a bit of supper. You will be quite petrified at her modest

appearance, and the rigid propriety of her behavior. Far from taking

after those little wanton vagrants, who are hey-go mad after

striplings, and give themselves up to the fascinations of exterior

appearance, she has a proper insight into things, staid, ripe, and

judicious: what she wants is the _bonâ fide_ spirit and discretion of

a man; a lover who has served an apprenticeship to his trade, in

preference to all the flashy fellows of the modern school. This is

but an epitome of the panegyric, which the noble duke Don Gonzales

pronounced upon his mistress. He burdened himself with the task of

proving her a compendium of all human perfection; but the lecture was

little calculated for the conviction of the hearer. I had attended

an experimental course among the actresses; and had always found that

the elderly candidates had been plucked in their amours. Yet, as a

matter of courtesy, it was impossible not to put on the semblance of

giving implicit credit to my master's veracity; I even added chivalry

to courtesy, and threw down my glove on Euphrasia's penetration and

the correctness of her taste. My impudence went the length of

asserting, that it was impossible for her to have selected a

better-provided crony. The grown-up simpleton was not aware, that I

was fumigating his nostrils at the expense of his addled brain; on

the contrary, he bristled at my praises: so true is it, that a

flatterer may play what game he likes against the pigeons of high

life! They let you look over their hand, and then wonder that you

beat them.

The old crawler, having scribbled through his billet-doux, restrained

the luxuriance of a straggling hair or two with his tweezers; then

bathed his eyes in the nostrum of some perfumer to give them a

brilliancy which their natural gum would have eclipsed. His ears

were to be picked and washed, and his hands to be cleansed from the

effects of his other ablutions; and the labors of the toilet were to

be closed, by pencilling every remaining hair in the disforested

domain of his whiskers, pericranium, and eyebrows. No old dowager,

with a purse to buy a second husband, ever took more pains to assure

herself by the cultivation of her charms, that the person, and not

the fortune, should be the object of attraction. The assassin stab

of time was parried by the quart and tierce of art. Just as he had

done making himself up, in came another old fogram of his

acquaintance, by name the Count of Asumar. This genius made no

secret of his gray locks; leaned upon a stick, and seemed to plume

himself on his venerable age, instead of wishing to appear in the

heyday of his prime. Signor Pacheco, said he as he came in, I am

come to take pot-luck with you to-day. You are always welcome,

count, rejoined my master. No sooner said than done! they embraced

with a thousand grimaces, took their seats opposite to one another,

and began chatting till dinner was served.

Their conversation turned at first upon a bull-feast which had taken

place a few days before. They talked about the cavaliers, and who

among them had displayed most dexterity and vigor; whereupon the old

count, like another Nestor, whom present events furnish with a topic

of expatiating on the past, said, with a deep-drawn sigh: Alas! where

will you meet with men, nowadays, fit to hold a candle to my

contemporaries? The public diversions are a mere bauble, to what

they were when I was a young man. I could not help chuckling in my

sleeve at my good lord of Asumar's whim; for he did not stop at the

handiwork of human invention. Would you believe it? At table, when

the fruit was brought in, at the sight of some very fine peaches,

this ungrateful consumer of the earth's produce exclaimed: In my

time, the peaches were of a much larger size than they are now; but

nature sinks lower and lower from day to day. If that is the case,

said Don Gonzales with a sneer, Adam's hot-house fruit must have been

of a most unwieldy circumference.

The count of Asumar staid till quite evening with my master, who had

no sooner got rid of him, than he sallied forth with me in his train.

We went to Euphrasia's, who lived within a stone's throw of our

house, and found her lodged in a style of the first elegance. She

was tastefully dressed, and for the youthfulness of her air might

have been taken to be in her teens, though thirty bonny summers at

least had poured their harvests in her lap. She had often been

reckoned pretty, and her wit was exquisite. Neither was she one of

your brazen-faced jilts, with nothing but flimsy balderdash in their

talk, and a libertine forwardness in their manners: here was modesty

of carriage as well as propriety of discourse; and she threw out her

little sallies in the most exquisite manner, without seeming to

aspire beyond natural good sense. O heaven! said I, is it possible

that a creature of so virtuous a stamp by nature should have

abandoned herself to vicious courses for a livelihood? I had taken

it for granted, that all women of light character carried the mark of

the beast upon their foreheads. It was a surprise therefore to see

such apparent rectitude of conduct; neither did it occur to me that

these hacks for all customers could go at any pace, and assume the

polish of well-bred society, to impose upon their cullies of the

higher ranks. What if a lively petulance should be the order of the

day? they are lively and petulant. Should modesty take its turn in

the round of fashion, nothing can exceed their outward show of

prudent and delicate reserve. They play the comedy of love in many

masks; and are the prude, the coquette, or the virago, as they fall

in with the quiz, the coxcomb, or the bully.

Don Gonzales was a gentleman and a man of taste; he could not stomach

those beauties who call a spade, a spade. Such were not for his

market; the rites of Venus must be consummated in the temple of

Vesta. Euphrasia had got up her part accordingly, and proved by her

performance that there is no comedy like that of real life. I left

my master, like another Numa with his Egeria, and went down into a

hall, where whom should fortune throw in my way but an old abigail,

whom I had formerly known as maid-of-all-work to an actress? The

recognition was mutual. So! well met once more, Signor Gil Blas,

said she. Then you have turned off Arsenia, just as I have parted

with Constance. Yes, truly, answered I, it is a long while ago since

I went away, and exchanged her service for that of a very different

lady. Neither the theatre nor the people about it are to my taste.

I gave myself my own discharge, without condescending to the

slightest explanation with Arsenia. You were perfectly in the right,

replied the new-found abigail, called Beatrice. That was pretty much

my method of proceeding with Constance. One morning early, I gave in

my accounts with a very sulky air; she took them from me in moody

silence, and we parted in a sort of well-bred dudgeon.

I am quite delighted, said I, that we have met again, where we need

not be ashamed of our employers. Donna Euphrasia looks for all the

world like a woman of fashion, and I am much deceived if she has not

reputation too. You are too clear-sighted to be deceived, answered

the old appendage to sin. She is of a good family; and as for her

temper, I can assure you it is unparalleled for evenness and

sweetness. None of your termagant mistresses, never to be pleased,

but always grumbling and scolding about everything, making the house

ring with their clack, and fretting poor servants to a thread, whose

places, in short, are a hell upon earth! I have not in all this time

heard her raise her voice on any occasion whatever. When things

happen not to be done exactly in her way, she sets them to rights

without any anger, nor does any of that bad language escape her lips,

of which some high-spirited ladies are so liberal. My master, too,

rejoined I, is very mild in his disposition; the very milk of human

kindness; and in this respect we are, between ourselves, much better

off than when we lived among the actresses. A thousand times better,

replied Beatrice; my life used to be all bustle and distraction; but

this place is an actual hermitage. Not a creature darkens our doors

but this excellent Don Gonzales. You will be my only helpmate in my

solitude, and my lot is but too greatly blessed. For this long time

have I cherished an affection for you: and many a time and oft have I

begrudged that Laura the felicity of engrossing you for her

sweetheart; but in the end I hope to be even with her. If I cannot

boast of youth and beauty like hers, to balance the account, I detest

coquetry, and have all the constancy as well as affection of a

turtle-dove.

As honest Beatrice was one of those ladies who are obliged to hawk

their wares, and cheapen themselves for want of cheapeners in the

market, I was happily shielded from any temptation to break the

commandments. Nevertheless, it might not have been prudent to let

her see in what contempt her charms were held: for which reason I

forced my natural politeness so far, as to talk to her in a style not

to cut off all hope of my more serious advances. I flattered myself

then, that I had found favor in the eyes of an old dresser to the

stage: but pride was destined to have a fall, even on so humble an

occasion. The domestic trickster did not sharpen her allurements

from any longing for my pretty person; her design in subduing me to

the little soft god was to enlist me for the purposes of her

mistress, to whom she had sworn so passive an obedience, that she

would have sold her eternal self to the old chapman, who first set up

the trade of sin, rather than have disappointed her slightest wishes.

My vain conceit was sufficiently evident on the very next morning,

when I carried an Ovidian letter from my master to Euphrasia. The

lady gave me an affable reception, and made a thousand pretty

speeches, echoed from the practised lips of her chambermaid. The

expression of my countenance was peculiarly interesting to the one:

but that within which passeth show was the flattering theme of the

other. According to their account, the fortunate Don Gonzales had

picked up a treasure. In short, my praises ran so high, that I began

to think worse of myself than I had ever done in the whole course of

my life. Their motive was sufficiently obvious; but I was determined

to play at diamond cut diamond. The simper of a simpleton is no bad

countermine to the attack of a sharper. These ladies under favor

were of the latter description, and they soon began to open their

batteries.

Hark you, Gil Blas! said Euphrasia; fortune declares in your favor if

you do not balk her. Let us put our heads together, my good friend.

Don Gonzales is old, and a good deal shaken in constitution; so that

a very little fever, in the hands of a very great doctor, would carry

him to a better place. Let us take time by the forelock, and ply our

arts so busily as to secure to me the largest slice of his effects.

If I prosper, you shall not starve, I promise you; and my bare word

is a better security than all the deeds and conveyances of all the

lawyers in Madrid. Madam, answered I, you have but to command me.

Give me my commission on your muster-roll, and you shall have no

reason to complain either of my cowardice or contumacy. So be it

then, replied she. You must watch your master, and bring me an

account of all his comings and goings. When you are chatting

together in his more familiar moments, never fail to lead the

conversation on the subject of our sex; and then by an artful, but

seemingly natural transition, take occasion to say all the good you

can invent of me. Ring Euphrasia in his ears till all the house

reëchoes. I would counsel you besides to keep a wary eye on all that

passes in the Pacheco family. If you catch any relation of Don

Gonzales sneaking about him, with a design on the inheritance, bring

me word instantly: that is all you have to do, and trust me for

sinking, burning, and destroying him in less than no time. I have

ferreted out the weak side of all your master's relations long ago;

they are each of them to be made ridiculous in some shape or other;

so that the nephews and cousins, after sitting to me for their

portraits, are already turned with their faces to the wall.

It was evident by these instructions, with many more to the same time

and tune, that Euphrasia was one of those ladies whose partialities

all lean to the side of elderly inamoratos, with more money than wit.

Not long before, Don Gonzales, who could refuse nothing to the tender

passion, had sold an estate; and she pocketed the cash. Not a day

passed but she got some little personal remembrance out of him; and

besides all this, a corner of his will was the ultimate object of her

speculation. I affected to engage hand over head in their infamous

plot; and if I must confess all without mental reservation, it was

almost a moot point, on my return home, on which side of the cause I

should take a brief. There was on either a profitable alternative;

whether to join in fleecing my master, or to merit his gratitude by

rescuing him from the plunderers. Conscience, however, seemed to

have some little concern in the determination; it was quite

ridiculous to choose the by-path of villany, when there was a better

toll to be taken on the highway of honesty. Besides, Euphrasia had

dealt too much in generals; an arithmetical definition of so much for

so much has more meaning in it than "all the wealth of the Indies;"

and to this shrewd reflection, perhaps, was owing my uncorrupted

probity. Thus did I resolve to signalize my zeal in the service of

Don Gonzales, in the persuasion that if I was lucky enough to disgust

the worshipper by befouling his idol, it would turn to very good

account. On a statement of debtor and creditor between the right and

the wrong side of the action, the money balance was visibly in favor

of virtue, not to mention the delights of a fair and irreproachable

character.

If vice so often assumes the semblance of its contrary, why should

not hypocrisy now and then change sides for variety? I held myself

up to Euphrasia for a thorough swindler. She was dupe enough to

believe that I was incessantly talking of her to my master; and

thereupon I wove a tissue of frippery and falsehood, which imposed on

her for sterling truth. She had so completely given herself up to my

insinuations, as to believe me her convert, her disciple, her

confederate. The better still to carry on this fraud upon fraud, I

affected to languish for Beatrice: and she, in ecstasy at her age to

see a young fellow at her skirts, did not much trouble herself about

my sincerity, if I did but play my part with vigor and address. When

we were in the presence of our princesses, my master in the parlor

and myself in the kitchen, the effect was that of two different

pictures, but of the same school. Don Gonzales, dry as touchwood,

with all its inflammability, and nothing but its smother, seemed a

fitter subject for extreme unction than for amorous parley; while my

little pet, in proportion to the violence of my flame, niggled,

nudged, toyed, and romped, like a school-girl in vacation; and no

wonder she knew her lesson so pat, for the old coquette had been

upwards of forty years in the form. She had finished her studies

under certain professors of gallantry, whose art of pleasing becomes

the more critical by practice; till they die under the accumulated

experience of two or three generations.

It was not enough for me to go every evening with my master to

Euphrasia's: it was sometimes my lounge even in daytime. But let me

pop my head in at what hour I would, that forbidden creature man was

never there, nor even a woman of any description, that might not be

just as easily expressed as understood. There was not the least

loop-hole for a paramour!--a circumstance not a little perplexing to

one who could not readily believe, that so pretty a bale of goods

could submit to a strict monopoly, by such a dealer as Don Gonzales.

This opinion undoubtedly was formed on a near acquaintance with

female nature, as will be apparent in the sequel; for the fair

Euphrasia, while waiting for my master's translation, fortified

herself with patience in the arms of a lover, with some little

fellow-feeling for the frailties of her age.

One morning I was carrying, according to custom, a note to this

peerless pattern of perfection. There certainly were, or I was not

standing in the room, the feet of a man ensconced behind the

tapestry. Out slunk I, just as if I had no eyes in my head; yet,

though such a discovery was nothing but what might have been

expected, neither was the piper to be paid out of my pocket; my

feelings were a good deal staggered at the breach of faith. Ah,

traitress! exclaimed I, with virtuous indignation, abandoned

Euphrasia! Not satisfied to humbug a silly old gentleman with a tale

of love, you share his property in your person with another, and add

profligacy to dissimulation! But to be sure, on afterthoughts, I was

but a greenhorn when I took on so for such a trivial occurrence! It

was rather a subject for mirth than for moral reflection, and

perfectly justified by the way of the world; the languid, embargoed

commerce of my master's amorous moments had need be filliped by a

trade in some more merchantable wares. At all events it would have

been better to have held my tongue, than to have laid hold on such an

opportunity of playing the faithful servant. But instead of

tempering my zeal with discretion, nothing would serve the turn but

taking up the wrongs of Don Gonzales in the spirit of chivalry. On

this high principle, I made a circumstantial report of what I had

seen, with the addition of the attempt made by Euphrasia to seduce me

from my good faith. I gave it in her own words without the least

reserve, and put him in the way of knowing all that was to be known

of his mistress. He was struck all in a heap by my intelligence, and

a faint flash of indignation on his faded cheek seemed to give

security that the lady's infidelity would not go unpunished. Enough,

Gil Blas, said he; I am infinitely obliged by your attachment to my

service, and your probity is very acceptable to me. I will go to

Euphrasia this very moment. I will overwhelm her with reproaches,

and break at once with the ungrateful creature. With these words, he

actually bent his way to the subject of his anger, and dispensed with

my attendance, from the kind motive of sparing me the awkwardness

which my presence during their explanation would have occasioned to

my feelings.

I longed for my master's return with all the impatience of an

interested person. There could not be a doubt but that with his

strong grounds of complaint, he would return completely disentangled

from the snares of his nymph. In this thought I extolled and

magnified myself for my good deed. What could be more flattering

than the thanks of the kindred who were naturally to inherit after

Don Gonzales, when they should be informed that their relative was no

longer the puppet of a figure-dance so hostile to their interests?

It was not to be supposed but that such a friend would be remembered,

and that my merits would at last be distinguished from those of other

serving-men, who are usually more disposed to encourage their masters

in licentiousness, than to draw them off to habits of decency. I was

always of an aspiring temper, and thought to have passed for the

Joseph or the Scipio of the servants' hall; but so fascinating an

idea was only to be indulged for an hour or two. The founder of my

fortunes came home. My friend, said he, I have had a very sharp

brush with Euphrasia. She insists on it that you have trumped up a

cock-and-bull story. If their word is to be taken, you are no better

than an impostor, a hireling in the pay of my nephews, for whose sake

you have set all your wits at work to bring about a quarrel between

her and me. I have seen the real tears, made of water, run down in

floods from her poor dear eyes. She has vowed to me as solemnly as

if I had been her confessor, that she never made any overtures to you

in her life, and that she does not know what man is. Beatrice, who

seems a simple, innocent sort of girl, is exactly in the same story,

so that I could not but believe them and be pacified, whether I would

or no.

How then, sir? interrupted I, in accents of undissembled sorrow, do

you question my sincerity? Do you distrust .... No, my good lad,

interrupted he again in his turn; I will do you ample justice. I do

not suspect you of being in league with my nephews. I am satisfied

that all you have done has been for my good, and own myself much

obliged to you for it; but appearances are apt to mislead, so that

perhaps you did not see in reality what you took it into your head

that you saw; and in that case, only consider yourself how offensive

your charge must be to Euphrasia. Yet, let that be as it will, she

is a creature whom I cannot help loving in spite of my senses; so

that the sacrifice she demands must be made, and that sacrifice is no

less than your dismission. I lament it very much, my poor dear Gil

Blas, and if that will be any satisfaction to you, my consent was

wrung from me most unwillingly; but there was no saying nay. With

one thing, however, you may comfort yourself, you shall not be sent

away with empty pockets. Nay, more, I mean to turn you over to a

lady of my acquaintance, where you will live to your liking.

I was not a little mortified to find all my noble acts and motives

end in my own confusion. I gave a left-handed blessing to Euphrasia,

and wept over the weakness of Don Gonzales, to be so foolishly

infatuated by her. The kind-hearted old gentleman felt within

himself that in turning me adrift at the peremptory demand of his

mistress, he was not performing the most manly action of his life.

For this reason, as a set-off against his hen-pecked cowardice, and

that I might the more easily swallow this bitter dose, he gave me

fifty ducats, and took me with him next morning to the Marchioness of

Chaves, telling that lady before my face, that I was a young man of

unexceptionably good character, and very high in his good graces, but

that as certain family reasons prevented him from continuing me on

his own establishment, he should esteem it as a favor if she would

take me on hers. After such an introduction, I was retained at once

as her appendage, and found myself, I scarcely knew how, established

in another household.

_CHAPTER VIII._

_THE MARCHIONESS OF CHAVES: HER CHARACTER, AND THAT OF HER COMPANY._

The Marchioness of Chaves was a widow of five and thirty, tall,

handsome, and well-proportioned. She enjoyed an income of ten

thousand ducats, without the encumbrance of a nursery. I never met

with a lady of fewer words, nor one of a more solemn aspect. Yet

this exterior did not prevent her from being set up as the cleverest

woman in all Madrid. Her great assemblies, attended by people of the

first quality, and by men of letters who made a coffee-house of her

apartments, contributed perhaps more than anything she said to give

her the reputation she had acquired. But this is a point on which it

is not my province to decide. I have only to relate as her

historian, that her name carried with it the idea of superior genius,

and that her house was called, to distinguish it from the ordinary

societies in town, The Fashionable Institution for Literature, Taste,

and Science.

In point of fact, not a day passed, but there were readings there,

sometimes of dramatic pieces, and sometimes in other branches of

poetry. But the subjects were always selected from the graver muses;

wit and humor were held in the most sovereign contempt. Comedy,

however spirited; a novel, however pointed in its satire or ingenious

in its fable, such light productions as these were treated as weak

efforts of the brain, without the slightest claim to patronage;

whereas, on the contrary, the most microscopical work in the serious

style, whether ode, pastoral, or sonnet, was trumpeted to the skies

as the most illustrious effort of a learned and poetical age. It not

unfrequently fell out, that the public reversed the decrees of this

chancery for genius: nay, they had sometimes the gross ill-breeding

to hiss the very pieces which had been sanctioned by this court of

criticism.

I was chief manager of the establishment, and my office consisted in

getting the drawing-room ready to receive the company, in setting the

chairs in order for the gentlemen, and the sofas for the ladies;

after which, I took my station on the landing-place to bawl out the

names of the visitors as they came up stairs, and usher them into the

circle. The first day, an old piece of family furniture, who was

stationed by my side in the ante-chamber, gave me their description

with some humor, after I had shown them into the room. His name was

Andrew Molina. He had a good deal of mother's wit, with a flowing

vein of satire, much gravity of sarcasm, and a happy knack at hitting

off characters. The first comer was a bishop. I roared out his

lordship's name, and as soon as he was gone in, my nomenclator told

me--That prelate is a very curious gentleman. He has some little

influence at court, but wants to persuade the world that he has a

great deal. He presses his service on every soul he comes near, and

then leaves them completely in the lurch. One day he met with a

gentleman in the presence chamber who bowed to him. He laid hold of

him, and squeezing his hand, assured him, with an inundation of

civilities, that he was altogether devoted to his lordship. For

goodness sake, do not spare me; I shall not die in my bed without

having first found an opportunity of making you my debtor. The

gentleman returned his thanks with all becoming expressions of

gratitude, and when they were at some distance from one another, the

obsequious churchman said to one of his attendants in waiting, I

ought to know that man; I have some floating, indistinct idea of

having seen him somewhere.

Next after the bishop, came the son of a grandee. When I had

introduced him into my lady's room, This nobleman, said Molina, is

also an original in his way. You are to take notice that he often

pays a visit, for the express purpose of talking over some urgent

business with the friend on whom he calls, and goes away again

without once thinking on the topic he came solely to discuss. But,

added my showman on the sight of two ladies, here are Donna Angela de

Penafiel and Donna Margaretta de Montalvan. This pair have not a

feature of resemblance to each other. Donna Margaretta prides

herself on her philosophical acquirements; she will hold her head as

high as the most learned head among the doctors of Salamanca, nor

will the wisdom of her conceit ever give up the point to the best

reasons they can render. As for Donna Angela, she does not affect

the learned lady though she has taken no unsuccessful pains in the

improvement of her mind. Her manner of talking is rational and

proper, her ideas are novel and ingenious, expressed in polite,

significant, and natural terms. This latter portrait is delightful,

said I to Molina; but the other, in my opinion, is scarcely to be

tolerated in the softer sex. Not over bearable indeed! replied he

with a sneer: even in men it does but expose them to the lash of

satire. The good marchioness herself, our honored lady, continued

he, she too has a sort of a philosophical looseness. There will be

fine chopping of logic there to-day! God grant the mysteries of

religion may not be invaded by these disputants.

As he was finishing this last sentence, in came a withered bit of

mortality, with a grave and crabbed look. My companion showed him no

mercy. This fellow, said he, is one of those pompous, unbending

spirits, who think to pass for men of profound genius, under favor of

a few commonplaces extracted out of Seneca; yet they are but shallow

coxcombs when one comes to examine them narrowly. Then followed in

the train a spruce figure, with tolerable person and address, to say

nothing of a troubled air and manner, which always supposes a

plentiful stock of self-sufficiency. I inquired who this was. A

dramatic poet! said Molina. He has manufactured a hundred thousand

verses in his time, which never brought him in the value of a groat;

but as a set-off against his metrical failure, he has feathered his

nest very warmly by six lines of humble prose: you will wonder by

what magic touch a fortune could be made...

And so I did; but a confounded noise upon the staircase put verse and

prose completely out of my head. Good again! exclaimed my informer;

here is the licentiate Campanario. He is his own harbinger before

ever he makes his appearance. He sets out from the very street door

in a continued volley of conversation, and you hear how the alarm is

kept up till he makes his retreat. In good sooth, the vaulted roof

reëchoed with the organ of the thundering licentiate, who at length

exhibited the case in which the pipes were contained. He brought a

bachelor of his acquaintance by way of accompaniment, and there was

not a _sotto voce_ passage during the whole visit. Signor

Campanario, said I to Molina, is to all appearance a man of very fine

conversation. Yes, replied my sage instructor, the gentleman has his

lucky hits, and a sort of quaintness that might pass for humor; he

does very well in a mixed company. But the worst of it is, that

incessant talking is one of his most pardonable errors. He is a

little too apt to borrow from himself; and as those who are behind

the scenes are not to be dazzled by the tinsel of the property-man,

so we know how to separate a certain volubility and buffoonery of

manner from sterling wit and sense. The greater part of his good

things would be thought very bad ones, if submitted, without their

concomitant grimaces, to the ordeal of a jest book.

Other groups passed before us, and Molina touched them with his wand.

The marchioness, too, came in for a magic rap over the knuckles. Our

lady patroness, said he, is better than might be expected for a

female philosopher. She is not dainty in her likings; and bating a

whim or two, it is no hard matter to give her satisfaction. Wits and

women of quality seldom approach so near the atmosphere of good

sense; and for passion, she scarcely knows what it is. Play and

gallantry are equally in her black books: dear conversation is her

first and sole delight. To lead such a life would be little better

than penance to the common run of ladies. Molina's character of my

mistress established her at once in my good graces. And yet, in the

course of a few days, I could not help suspecting that, though not

dainty in her likings, she knew what passion was, and that a foul

copy of gallantry delighted her more than the fairest conversation.

One morning, during the mysteries of the toilet, there presented

himself to my notice a little fellow of forty, forbidding in his

aspect, more filthy if possible than Pedro de Moya the book-worm, and

verging in no marketable measure towards deformity, he told me he

wanted to speak with my lady marchioness. On whose business? quoth

I. On my own, quoth he, somewhat snappishly. Tell her I am the

gentleman; ... she will understand you; ... about whom she was

talking yesterday with Donna Anna de Velasco. I went before him into

my lady's apartment, and gave in his name. The marchioness all at

once shrieked out her satisfaction, and ordered me to show him in.

It was not courtesy enough to point to a chair, and bid him sit down:

but the attendants, forsooth, her own maids about her person, were to

withdraw, so that the little hunchback, with better luck than falls

to the lot of many a taller man, had the field entirely to himself,

as lord paramount. As for the girls and myself, we could not help

tittering a little at this uncouthly concerted duet, which lasted

nearly an hour: when my patroness dismissed his little lordship, with

such a profusion of farewells and God-be-with-you's, as sufficiently

evinced her thankfulness for the entertainment she had received.

The conversation had, in fact, been so edifying, that in the

afternoon she seized a private opportunity of whispering in my ear,

Gil Blas, when the short gentleman comes again, you may show him up

the back stairs; there is no need of parading him along a line of

staring servants. I did as I was ordered. When this epitome of

humanity knocked at the door, and that hour was no farther off than

the next morning, we threaded all the by-passages to the place of

assignation. I played the same modest part two or three times in the

very innocence of my soul, without the most distant guess that the

material system could form any part of their philosophy. But that

hound-like snuff at an ill construction, with which the devil has

armed the noses of the most charitable, put me on the scent of a very

whimsical game, and I concluded either that the marchioness had an

odd taste, or that crookback courted her as proxy to a better man.

Faith and troth, thought I, with all the impertinence of a hasty

opinion, if my mistress really likes a handsome fellow behind the

curtain, all is well; I forgive her her sins: but if she is stark mad

for such a monkey as this, to say the truth, there will be little

mercy for her on male or female tongues. But how foully did I defame

my honored patroness! The genius of magic had perched herself upon

the little conjurer's protuberant shoulder; and his skill having been

puffed off to the marchioness, who was just the right food for such

jugglers and their tricks, she held private conferences with him.

Under his tuition she was to command wealth and treasure, to build

castles in the air, to remove from place to place in an instant, to

reveal future events, to tell what is done in far countries, to call

the dead out of their graves, and terrify the world with many

miracles. Seriously, and to give him his deserts, the scoundrel

lived on the folly of the public; and it has been confidently

asserted, that ladies of fashion have not in all ages and countries

been exempt from the credulity of their inferiors.

_CHAPTER IX._

_AN INCIDENT THAT PARTED GIL BLAS AND THE MARCHIONESS OF CHAVES. THE

SUBSEQUENT DESTINATION OF THE FORMER._

For six months I lived with the Marchioness of Chaves, and, as it

must be admitted, on the fat of the land. But fate, who thrusts

footmen as well as heroes into the world, with herself tied about

their necks, gave me a jog to be gone, and swore that I should stay

no longer in that family or in Madrid. The adventure by which this

decree was announced shall be the subject of the ensuing narrative.

In my mistress's female squad there was a nymph named Portia. To say

nothing of her youth and beauty, it was her meek demeanor and good

repute that captivated me, who had yet to learn that none but the

brave deserves the fair. The marchioness's secretary, as proud as a

prime minister, and as jealous as the Grand Turk, was caught in the

same trap as myself. No sooner did he cast an unlucky squint at my

advances, than, without waiting to see how Portia might chance to

fancy them, he determined pell-mell to have a tilt with me. To

forward this ghostly enterprise, he gave me an appointment one

morning in a place sadly impervious to all seasonable interruption.

Yet as he was a little go-by-the-ground, scarcely up to my shoulders,

and apparently of feeble frame, he did not look like a very dangerous

antagonist; so away I went with some little courage to the appointed

spot. Thinking to come off with flying colors, I anticipated the

effect of my bravery on the heart of Portia; but as it turned out, I

was gathering my laurels before they had budded. The little

secretary, who had been practising for two or three years at the

fencing-school, disarmed me like a very baby, and holding the point

of his sword up to my throat, Prepare thyself, said he, to balance

thine accounts with this world, and open a correspondence with the

next, or give me thy rascally word to leave the Marchioness of Chaves

this very day, and never more to think of my Portia. I gave him my

rascally word, and was honest enough not to think of breaking it.

There was an awkwardness in showing my face before the servants of

the family, after having been worsted; and especially before the high

and mighty princess who had been the theme of our tournament. I only

returned home to get together my baggage and wages, and on that very

day set off towards Toledo, with a purse pretty well lined, and a

knapsack at my back with my wardrobe and movables. Though my

rascally word was not given to abandon the purlieus of Madrid, I

considered it as a matter of delicacy to disappear, at least for a

few seasons. My resolution was to make the tour of Spain, and to

halt first at one town and then at another. My ready money, thought

I, will carry me a good way: I shall not call about me very

prodigally. When my stock is exhausted, I can but go into service

again. A lad of my versatility will find places in plenty, whenever

it may be convenient to look out for them.

It was particularly my wish to see Toledo: and I got thither after

three days' journey. My quarters were at a respectable house of

entertainment, where I was taken for a gentleman of some figure,

under favor of my best clothes, in which I did not fail to bedizen

myself. With the pick-tooth carelessness of a lounger, the

affectation of a puppy, and the pertness of a wit, it remained with

me to dictate the terms of an arrangement with some very pretty women

who infested that neighborhood; but, as a hint had been given me that

the pocket was the high road to their good graces, my amorous

enthusiasm was a little flattered, and, as it was no part of my plan

to domesticate myself in any one place, after having seen all the

lions at Toledo, I started one morning with the dawn, and took the

road to Cuença, intending to go to Arragon. On the second day I went

into an inn which stood open to receive me by the road side. Just as

I was beginning to recruit the carnal department of my nature, in

came a party belonging to the Holy Brotherhood. These gentlemen

called for wine, and set in for a drinking bout. Over their cups

they were conning the description of a young man, whom they had

orders to arrest. The spark, said one of them, is not above three

and twenty: he has long black hair, is well grown, with an aquiline

nose, and rides a bay horse.

I heard their talk without seeming to be a listener; and, in fact,

did not trouble my head much about it. They remained in their

quarters, and I pursued my journey. Scarcely had I gone a quarter of

a mile, before I met a young gentleman on horseback, as personable as

need be, and mounted as described by the officers. Faith and troth,

thought I within myself, this is the very identical man. Black hair

and an aquiline nose! One cannot help doing a good office when it

comes in one's way. Sir, said I, give me leave to ask you whether

you have not some disagreeable business on your hands? The young

man, without returning any answer, looked at me from head to foot,

and seemed startled at my question. I assured him it was not wanton

curiosity that induced me to address him. He was satisfied of that

when I related all I had heard at the inn. My unknown benefactor,

said he, I will not deny to you that I have reason to believe myself

actually the person of whom the officers are in quest; therefore I

shall take another road to avoid them. In my opinion, answered I, it

would be better to look out for a spot where you may be in safety,

and under shelter from a storm which is brewing, and will soon pour

down upon our heads. Without loss of time we discovered and made for

a row of trees, forming a natural avenue, which led us to the foot of

a mountain, where we found a hermitage.

There was a large and deep grotto which time had worn away into the

heart of the rock; and the hand of man had added a rude front built

of pebbles and shell-work, covered all over with turf. The adjacent

grounds were strewed with a thousand sorts of flowers, which

scattered their perfume; and one was pleased to see, hard by the

grotto, a small fissure in the mountain, whence a spring rippled with

a tinkling noise, and poured its pellucid stream along the meadow.

At the entrance of this solitary abode stood a venerable hermit,

seemingly weighed down with years. He supported himself with one

hand upon a staff, and held a rosary of large beads with the other,

composed of at least twenty rows. His head was almost lost in a

brown woollen cap with long ears; and his beard, whiter than snow,

swept down in aged majesty to his waist. We advanced towards him.

Father, said I, is it your pleasure to allow us shelter from the

threatening storm? Come in, my sons, replied the hermit, after

examining me attentively; this hermitage is at your service, to

occupy it during pleasure. As for your horse, added he, pointing to

the court-yard of his mansion, he will be very well off there. My

companion disposed of the animal accordingly, and we followed the old

man into the grotto.

No sooner had we got in than a heavy rain fell, with a terrific storm

of thunder and lightning. The hermit threw himself upon his knees

before a consecrated image, fastened to the wall, and we followed the

example of our host. Our devotions ceased with the subsiding of the

storm; but as the rain continued, though with diminished violence,

and night was not far distant, the old man said to us, My sons, you

had better not pursue your journey in such weather, unless your

affairs are pressing. We answered with one consent, that we had

nothing to hinder us from staying there, but the fear of incommoding

him; but that if there was room for us in the hermitage, we would

thank him for a night's lodging. You may have it without

inconvenience, answered the hermit, at least the inconvenience will

be all your own. Your accommodation will be rough, and your meal

such as a recluse has to offer.

With this cordial welcome to a homely board, the holy personage

seated us at a little table, and set before us a few vegetables, a

crust of bread, and a pitcher of water. My sons, resumed he, you

behold my ordinary fare, but to-day I will make a feast in

hospitality towards you. So saying, he fetched a little cheese and

some nuts, which he threw down upon the table. The young man, whose

appetite was not keen, felt but little tempted by his entertainment.

I perceive, said the hermit to him, that you are accustomed to better

tables than mine, or rather that sensuality has vitiated your natural

relish. I have been in the world like you. The utmost ingenuity of

the culinary art, whether to stimulate or soothe the palate, was

exerted by turns for my gratification. But since I have lived in

solitude, my taste has recovered its simplicity. Now, vegetables,

fruit, and milk, are my greatest dainties; in a word, I keep an

antediluvian table.

While he was haranguing after this fashion, the young man fell into a

deep musing. The hermit was aware of his inattention. My son, said

he, something weighs upon your spirits. May we not be informed what

disturbs you? Open your heart to me. Curiosity is not my motive for

questioning you, but charity, and a desire to be of service. I am at

a time of life to give advice, and you perhaps are under

circumstances to stand in need of it. Yes, father, replied the

gentleman with a sigh, I doubtless do stand in need of it, and will

follow yours, since you are so good as to offer it; I cannot suppose

there is any risk in unbosoming myself to a man like you. No, my

son, said the old man, you have nothing to fear, it is under more

stately roofs that confidences are betrayed. On this assurance the

cavalier began his story.

_CHAPTER X._

_THE HISTORY OF DON ALPHONSO AND THE FAIR SERAPHINA._

I will attempt no disguise from you, my venerable friend, nor from

this gentleman who completes my audience. After the generosity of

his conduct towards me, I should be in the wrong to distrust him.

You shall know my misfortunes from their beginning. I am a native of

Madrid, and came into the world mysteriously. An officer of the

German guard, Baron Steinbach by name, returning home one evening,

espied a bundle of fair linen at the foot of his staircase. He took

it up and carried it to his wife's apartment, where it turned out to

be a new-born infant, wrapped up in very handsome swaddling-clothes,

with a note containing an assurance that it belonged to persons of

condition, who would come forward and own it at some future period;

and the further information that it had been baptized by the name of

Alphonso. I was that unfortunate stranger in the world, and this is

all that I know about myself. Whether honor or profligacy was the

motive of the exposure, the helpless child was equally the victim;

whether my unhappy mother wanted to get rid of me, to conceal an

habitual course of scandalous amours, or whether she had made a

single deviation from the path of virtue with a faithless lover, and

had been obliged to protect her fame at the expense of nature and the

maternal feelings.

However this might be, the baron and his wife were touched by my

destitute condition, and resolved, as they had no children of their

own, to bring me up under the name of Don Alphonso. As I grew in

years and stature their attachment to me strengthened. My manners,

genteel before strangers and affectionate towards them, were the

theme of their fondest panegyric. In short, they loved me as if I

had been their own. Masters of every description were provided for

me. My education became their leading object; and far from waiting

impatiently till my parents should come forward, they seemed, on the

contrary, to wish that my birth might always remain a mystery. As

soon as the Baron thought me old enough to bear arms, he sent me into

the service. With my ensign's commission, a genteel and suitable

equipment was provided for me; and, the more effectually to animate

me in the career of glory, my patron pointed out that the path of

honor was open to every adventurer, and that the renown of a warrior

would be so much the more creditable to me, as I should owe it to

none but myself. At the same time he laid open to me the

circumstances of my birth, which he had hitherto concealed. As I had

passed for his son in Madrid, and had actually thought myself so, it

must be owned that this communication gave me some uneasiness. I

could not then, nor can I even now, think of it without a sense of

shame. In proportion as the innate feelings of a gentleman bear

testimony to the birth of one, am I mortified at being rejected and

renounced by the unnatural authors of my being.

I went to serve in the Low Countries, but peace was concluded in a

short time; and Spain finding herself without assailants, though not

without assassins, I returned to Madrid, where I received fresh marks

of affection from the Baron and his wife. Rather more than two

months after my return, a little page came into my room one morning,

and presented me with a note couched nearly in the following terms:

"I am neither ugly nor crooked, and yet you often see me at my window

without the tribute of a glance. This conduct is little in unison

with the spirit of your physiognomy, and so far stings me to revenge

that I will make you love me if possible."

On the perusal of this epistle, there could be no doubt but it came

from a widow, by name Leonora, who lived opposite our house, and had

the character of a very great coquette. Hereupon I examined my

little messenger, who had a mind to be on the reserve at first, but a

ducat in hand opened the flood-gates of his intelligence. He even

took charge of an answer to his mistress, confessing my guilt, and

intimating that its punishment was far advanced.

I was not insensible to a conquest even of this kind. For the rest

of the day, home and my window-seat were the grand attraction; and

the lady seemed to have fallen in love with her window-seat too. I

made signals. She returned them; and on the very next day sent me

word by her little Mercury, that if I would be in the street on the

following night between eleven and twelve, I might converse with her

at a window on the ground floor. Though I did not feel myself very

much captivated by so coming on a kind of widow, it was impossible

not to send such an answer as if I was; and a sort of amorous

curiosity made me as impatient as if I had really been in love. In

the dusk of the evening, I went sauntering up and down the Prado till

the hour of assignation. Before I could get to my appointment, a man

mounted on a fine horse alighted near me, and coming up with a

peremptory air, Sir, said he, are not you the son of Baron Steinbach?

I answered in the affirmative. You are the person then, resumed he,

who were to meet Leonora at her window to-night? I have seen her

letters and your answers; her page has put them into my hands, and I

have followed you this evening from your own house hither, to let you

know you have a rival whose pride is not a little wounded at a

competition with yourself in an affair of the heart. It would be

unnecessary to say more. We are in a retired place; let us therefore

draw, unless, to avoid the chastisement in store for you, you will

give me your word to break off all connection with Leonora.

Sacrifice in my favor all your hopes and interest, or your life must

be the forfeit. It had been better, said I, to have insured my

generosity by good manners, than to extort my compliance by menaces.

I might have granted to your request what I must refuse to this

insolent demand.

[Illustration: Don Alphonso and Baron Steinbach]

Well then, resumed he, tying up his horse and preparing for the

encounter, let us settle our dispute like men. Little could a person

of my condition have stomached the debasement of a request, to a man

of your quality. Nine out of ten in my rank would, under such

circumstances, have taken their revenge on terms of less honor but

more safety. I felt myself exasperated at this last insinuation, so

that, seeing he had already drawn his sword, mine did not linger in

the scabbard. We fell on one another with so much fury, that the

engagement did not last long. Whether his attack was made with too

much heat, or my skill in fencing was superior, he soon received a

mortal wound. He staggered, and dropped dead upon the spot. In such

a situation, having no alternative but an immediate escape, I mounted

the horse of my antagonist, and went off in the direction of Toledo.

There was no venturing to return to Baron Steinbach's, since, besides

the danger of the attempt, the narrative of my adventure from my own

mouth would only afflict him the more, so that nothing was so

eligible as an immediate decampment from Madrid.

Chewing the cud of my own melancholy reflection, I travelled onwards

the remainder of the night and all the next morning. But about noon

it became necessary to stop, both for the sake of my horse and to

avoid the insupportable fierceness of the mid-day heat. I staid in a

village till sunset, and then, intending to reach Toledo without

drawing bit, went on my way. I had already got two leagues beyond

Illescas, when, about midnight, a storm like that of to-day overtook

me as I was jogging along the road. There was a garden wall at some

little distance, and I rode up to it. For want of any more

commodious shelter, my horse's station and my own were arranged, as

comfortably as circumstances would admit, near the door of a

summer-house at the end of the wall, with a balcony over it. Leaning

against the door, I discovered it to be open, owing, as I thought, to

the negligence of the servants. Having dismounted, less from

curiosity than for the sake of a better standing, as the rain had

been very troublesome under the balcony, I went into the lower part

of the summer-house, leading my horse by the bridle.

My amusement during the storm was in reconnoitring my quarters; and

though I had nothing to form an opinion by, but the lurid gleams of

the lightning, it was very evident that such a house must belong to

some family above the common. I was waiting anxiously till the rain

abated, to set forward again on my journey; but a great light at a

distance made me change my purpose. Leaving my horse in the

summer-house, with the precaution of fastening the door, I made for

the light, in the assurance that they were not all gone to bed in the

house, and with the intention of requesting a lodging for the night.

After crossing several walks, I came to a saloon, and here, too, the

door was left open. On my entrance, from the magnificence so

handsomely displayed by the light of a fine crystal lustre, it was

easy to conclude that this must be the residence of some illustrious

nobleman. The pavement was of marble, the wainscot richly carved and

gilt, the proportions of architecture tastefully preserved, and the

ceiling evidently adorned by the masterpieces of the first artists in

fresco. But what particularly engaged my attention, was a great

number of busts, and those of Spanish heroes, supported on jasper

pedestals, and ranged round the saloon. There was opportunity enough

for examining all this splendor, since there was not even a

foot-fall, nor the shadow of any one gliding along the passage,

though my ears and eyes were incessantly on the watch for some

inhabitant of this fairy desert.

On one side of the saloon there was a door ajar; by pushing it a

little wider open, I discovered a range of apartments, with a light

only in the farthest. What is to be done now? thought I within

myself. Shall I go back, or take the liberty of marching forward,

even to that chamber? To be sure, it was obvious that the most

prudent step would be to make good my retreat; but curiosity was not

to be repelled, or rather, to speak more truly, my star was in its

ascendant. Advancing boldly from room to room, at length I reached

that where the light was. It was a wax taper on a marble slab, in a

magnificent candlestick. The first object that caught my eye was the

gay furniture of this summer abode; but soon afterwards, casting a

look towards a bed, of which the curtains were half undrawn on

account of the heat, an object arrested my attention, which engrossed

it with the deepest interest. A young lady, in spite of the

thunderclaps which had been pealing round her, was sleeping there,

motionless and undisturbed. I approached her very gently, and by the

light of the taper I had seized, a complexion and features the most

dazzling were submitted to my gaze. My spirits were all afloat at

the discovery. A sensation of transport and delight came over me;

but however my feelings might harass my own heart, my conviction of

her high birth checked every presumptuous hope, and awe obtained a

complete victory over desire. While I was drinking in floods of

adoration at the shrine of her beauty, the goddess of my homage awoke.

You may well suppose her consternation, at seeing a man, an utter

stranger, in her bed-chamber, and at midnight. She was terrified at

this strange appearance, and uttered a loud shriek. I did my best to

restore her composure, and throwing myself on my knees in the

humblest posture, Madam, said I, fear nothing. My business here is

not to hurt you. I was going on, but her alarm was so great that she

was incapable of hearing my excuses. She called her women with a

most vehement importunity, and as she could get no answer, she threw

over her a thin night-gown at the foot of the bed, rushed rapidly out

of the room, and darted into the apartments I had crossed, still

calling her female establishment about her, as well as a younger

sister whom she had under her care. I looked for nothing less than a

posse of strapping footmen who were likely, without hearing my

defence, to execute summary justice on so audacious a culprit; but by

good luck, at least for me, her cries were to no purpose; they only

roused an old domestic, who would have been but a sorry knight had

any ravisher or magician invaded her repose. Nevertheless, assuming

somewhat of courage from his presence, she asked me haughtily who I

was, by what inlet and to what purpose I had presumptuously gained

admission into her house. I began then to enter on my exculpation,

and had no sooner declared that the open door of the summer-house in

the garden had invited my entrance, than she exclaimed, as if

thunderstruck, Just heaven! what an idea darts across my mind!

As she uttered these words, she caught at the wax light on the table;

then ran through all the apartments one after another, without

finding either her attendants or her sister. She remarked, too, that

all their personals and wardrobe were carried off. With such a

comment on her hasty suspicions, she came up to me, and said, in the

hurried accent of suspense and perturbation, Traitor! add not

hypocrisy to your other crimes. Chance has not brought you hither.

You are in the train of Don Ferdinand de Leyva, and are an accomplice

in his guilt. But hope not to escape; there are still people enough

about me to secure you. Madam, said I, do not confound me with your

enemies. Don Ferdinand de Leyva is a stranger to me; I do not even

know who you are. You see before you an outcast, whom an affair of

honor has compelled to fly from Madrid; and I swear by whatever is

most sacred among men, that had not a storm overtaken me, I should

never have set my foot over your threshold. Entertain, then, a more

favorable opinion of me. So far from suspecting me for an accomplice

in any plot against you, believe me ready to enlist in your defence,

and to revenge your wrongs. These last words, and still more the

sincere tone in which they were delivered, convinced the lady of my

innocence, and she seemed no longer to look on me as her enemy; but

if her anger abated, it was only that her grief might sway more

absolutely. She began weeping most bitterly. Her tears called forth

my sympathy, and my affliction was scarcely less poignant than her

own, though the cause of this contagious sorrow was still to be

ascertained. Yet it was not enough to mingle my tears with hers; in

my impatience to become her defender and avenger, an impulse of

terrific fury came over me. Madam, exclaimed I, what outrage have

you sustained? Let me know it, and your injuries are mine. Would

you have me hunt out Don Ferdinand, and stab him to the heart? Only

tell me on whom your justice would fall, and they shall suffer. You

have only to give the word. Whatever dangers, whatever certain evils

may be attendant on the execution of your orders, the unknown, whom

you thought to be in league with your enemies, will brave them all in

your cause.

This enraptured devotion surprised the lady, and stopped the flowing

of her tears. Ah! sir, said she, forgive this suspicion, and

attribute it to the blindness of my cruel fate. A nobility of

sentiment like this speaks at once to the heart of Seraphina; and

while it undeceives, makes me the less repine at a stranger being

witness of an affront offered to my family. Yes, I own my error, and

revolt not, unknown as you are, from your proffered aid. But the

death of Don Ferdinand is not what I require. Well, then, madam,

resumed I, of what nature are the services you would enjoin me? Sir,

replied Seraphina, the ground of my complaint is this. Don Ferdinand

de Leyva is enamoured of my sister Julia, whom he met with by

accident at Toledo, where we for the most part reside. Three months

since, he asked her in marriage of the Count de Polan, my father, who

refused his consent on account of an old grudge subsisting between

the families. My sister is not yet fifteen; she must have been

indiscreet enough to follow the evil counsels of my woman, whom Don

Ferdinand has doubtless bribed; and this daring ruffian, advertised

of our being alone at our country-house, has taken the opportunity of

carrying off Julia. At least I should like to know what hiding-place

he has chosen to deposit her in, that my father and my brother, who

have been these two months at Madrid, may take their measures

accordingly. For heaven's sake, added she, give yourself the trouble

of examining the neighborhood of Toledo, an act so heinous cannot

escape detection, and my family will owe you a debt of everlasting

gratitude. The lady was little aware how unseasonable an employment

she was thrusting upon me. My escape from Castile could not be too

soon effected; and yet how should such a reflection ever enter into

her head, when it was completely superseded in mine by a more

powerful suggestion? Delighted at finding myself important to the

most lovely creature in the universe, I caught at the commission with

eagerness, and promised to acquit myself of it with equal zeal and

industry. In fact, I did not wait for daybreak, to go about

fulfilling my engagement. A hasty leave of Seraphina gave me

occasion to beg her pardon for the alarm I had caused her, and to

assure her that she should speedily hear somewhat of my adventure. I

went out as I came in, but so wrapped up in admiration of the lady,

that it was palpable I was completely caught. My sense of this truth

was the more confirmed by the eagerness with which I embarked in her

cause, and by the romantic, gayly-colored bubbles which my passion

blew. It struck my fancy that Seraphina, though engrossed by her

affliction, had remarked the hasty birth of my love, without being

displeased at the discovery. I even flattered myself that if I could

furnish her with any certain intelligence of her sister, and the

business should terminate in any degree to her satisfaction, my part

in it would be remembered to my advantage.

Don Alphonso broke the thread of his discourse at this passage, and

said to our aged host, I beg your pardon, father, if the fulness of

my passion should lead me to dilate too long upon particulars,

wearisome and uninteresting to a stranger. No, my son, replied the

hermit, such particulars are not wearisome: I am interested to know

the state and progress of your passion for the young lady you are

speaking of; my counsels will be influenced by the minute detail you

are giving me.

With my fancy heated by these seductive images, resumed the young

man, I was two days hunting after Julia's ravisher: but in vain were

all the inquiries that could be made; by no means I could devise was

the least trace of him to be discovered. Deeply mortified at the

unsuccessful issue of my search, I bent my steps back to Seraphina,

whom I pictured to myself as overwhelmed with uneasiness. Yet she

was in better spirits than might have been expected. She informed me

that her success had been better than mine; for she had learned how

her sister was disposed of. She had received a letter from Don

Ferdinand himself, importing that after being privately married to

Julia, he had placed her in a convent at Toledo. I have sent his

letter to my father, pursued Seraphina; I hope the affair may be

adjusted amicably, and that a solemn marriage will soon extinguish

the feuds which have so long kept our respective families at variance.

When the lady had thus informed me of her sister's fate, she began

making an apology for the trouble she had given me, as well as the

danger into which she might imprudently have thrown me, by engaging

my services in pursuit of a ravisher, without recollecting what I had

told her, that an affair of honor had been the occasion of my flight.

Her excuses were couched in such flattering terms, as to convert her

very oversight into an obligation. As rest was desirable for me

after my journey, she conducted me into the saloon, where we sat down

together. She wore an undress gown of white taffety with black

stripes, and a little hat of the same materials with black feathers;

which gave me reason to suppose that she might be a widow. But she

looked so young, that I scarcely knew what to think of it.

If I was all impatient to get at her history, she was not less so to

know who I was. She besought me to acquaint her with my name, not

doubting, as she kindly expressed it, by my noble air, and still more

by the generous pity which had made me enter so warmly into her

interests, that I belonged to some considerable family. The question

was not a little perplexing. My color came and went, my agitation

was extreme: and I must own that, with less repugnance to the

meanness of a falsehood than to the acknowledgment of a disgraceful

truth, I answered that I was the son of Baron Steinbach, an officer

of the German guard. Tell me, likewise, resumed the lady, why you

left Madrid. Before you answer my question, I will insure you all my

father's credit, as well as that of my brother Don Gaspard. It is

the least mark of gratitude I can bestow on a gentleman who, for my

service, has neglected the preservation even of his own life.

Without further hesitation, I acquainted her with all the

circumstances of my rencounter: she laid the whole blame on my

deceased antagonist, and engaged to interest all her family in my

favor.

When I had satisfied her curiosity, it seemed not unreasonable to

plead in favor of my own. I inquired whether she was maid, wife, or

widow. It is three years, answered she, since my father made me

marry Don Diego de Lara; and I have been a widow these fifteen

months. Madam, said I, by what misfortune were your wedded joys so

soon interrupted? I am going to inform you, sir, resumed the lady,

in return for the confidence you have reposed in me.

Don Diego de Lara was a very elegant and accomplished gentleman: but,

though his affection for me was extreme, and every day was witness to

some attempt at giving me pleasure, such as the most impassioned and

most tender lover puts in practice to win the smile of her he loves;

though he had a thousand estimable qualities, my heart was untouched

by all his merit. Love is not always the offspring either of

assiduity or desert. Alas! we are often captivated at first sight by

we know not whom, nor why, nor how. To love, then, was not in my

power. More disconcerted than gratified by his repeated offices of

tenderness, which I received with a forced courtesy, but without real

pleasure, if I accused myself in secret of ingratitude, I still

thought myself an object as much of pity as of censure. To his

unhappiness and my own, his delicacy more than kept pace with his

affection. Not an action or a speech of mine, but he unravelled all

its hidden motives, and fathomed all my thoughts, almost before they

arose. The inmost recesses of my heart were laid open to his

penetration. He complained without ceasing of my indifference; and

esteemed himself only so much the more unfortunate in not being able

to please me, as he was well assured that no rival stood in his way;

for I was scarcely sixteen years old; and, before he paid his

addresses to me, he had tampered with my woman, who had assured him

that no one had hitherto attracted my attention. Yes, Seraphina, he

would often say, I could have been contented that you had preferred

some other to myself, and that there were no more fatal cause of your

insensibility. My attentions and your own principles would get the

better of such a juvenile prepossession; but I despair of triumphing

over your coldness, since your heart is impenetrable to all the love

I have lavished on you. Wearied with the repetition of the same

strain, I told him that instead of disturbing his repose and mine by

this excess of delicacy, he would do better in trusting to the

effects of time. In fact, at my age, I could not be expected to

enter into the refinements of so sentimental a passion; and Don Diego

should have waited, as I warned him, for a riper period and more

staid reflection. But, finding that a whole year had elapsed, and

that he was no forwarder in my favor than on the first day, he lost

all patience, or rather, his brain became distracted. Affecting to

have important business at court, he took his leave, and went to

serve as a volunteer in the Low Countries; where he soon found in the

chances of war what he went to seek, the termination of his

sufferings and of his life.

After the lady had finished her recital, her husband's uncommon

character became the topic of our discourse. We were interrupted by

the arrival of a courier, charged with a letter for Seraphina from

the Count de Polan. She begged my permission to read it; and as she

went on, I observed her to grow pale, and to become dreadfully

agitated. When she had finished, she raised her eyes upward, heaved

a long sigh, and her face was in a moment bathed with her tears. Her

sorrow sat heavily on my feelings. My spirits were greatly

disturbed; and, as if it were a forewarning of the blow impending

over my head, a death-like shudder crept through my frame, and my

faculties were all benumbed. Madam, said I, in accents half choked

with apprehension, may I ask of what dire events that letter brings

the tidings? Take it, sir, answered Seraphina most dolefully, while

she held out the letter to me. Read for yourself what my father has

written. Alas! you are but too deeply concerned in the contents.

At these words, which made my blood run cold, I took the letter with

a trembling hand, and found in it the following intelligence: "Your

brother, Don Gaspard, fought yesterday at the Prado. He received a

small sword wound, of which he died this day; and declared before he

breathed his last that his antagonist was the son of Baron Steinbach,

an officer of the German guard. As misfortunes never come alone, the

murderer has eluded my vengeance by flight; but wherever he may have

concealed himself, no pains shall be spared to hunt him out. I am

going to write to the magistrates all round the country, who will not

fail to take him into custody, if he passes through any of the towns

in their jurisdiction, and by the notices I am going to circulate, I

hope to cut off his retreat in the country or at the seaports.--THE

COUNT DE POLAN."

Conceive into what a ferment this letter threw all my thoughts. I

remained for some moments motionless and without the power of speech.

In the midst of my confusion, I too plainly saw the destructive

bearing of Don Gaspard's death on the passion I had imbibed. My

despair was unbounded at the thought. I threw myself at Seraphina's

feet, and offering her my naked sword, Madam, said I, spare the Count

de Polan the necessity of seeking farther for a man who might

possibly withdraw himself from his resentment. Be yourself the

avenger of your brother: offer up his murderer as the victim of your

own hand: now, strike the blow. Let this very weapon, which

terminated his life, cut short the sad remnant of his adversary's

days. Sir, answered Seraphina, a little softened by my behavior, I

loved Don Gaspard, so that though you killed him in fair and manly

hostility, and though he brought his death upon himself, you may rest

assured that I take up my father's quarrel. Yes, Don Alphonso, I am

your decided enemy, and will do against you all that the ties of

blood and friendship require at my hands. But I will not take

advantage of your evil star: in vain has it delivered you into my

grasp: if honor arms me against you, the same sentiment forbids to

pursue a cowardly revenge. The rights of hospitality must be

inviolable, and I will not repay such service as you have rendered me

with the treachery of an assassin. Fly! make your escape, if you

can, from our pursuit and from the rigor of the laws, and save your

forfeit life from the dangers that beset it.

What then, madam, returned I, when vengeance is in your own hands, do

you turn it over to the laws, which may, perhaps, be too slow for

your impatience? Nay! rather stab a wretch who is not worthy of your

forbearance. No, madam, maintain not so noble and so generous a

proceeding with one like me. Do you know who I am? All Madrid takes

me for Baron Steinbach's son; yet am I nothing better than a

foundling, whom he brought up from charity, I know not even who were

guilty of my existence. No matter, interrupted Seraphina, with

precipitation, as if my last words had given her new uneasiness,

though you were the lowest of mankind I would do what honor bids.

Well, madam, said I, since a brother's death is insufficient to

excite your thirst after my blood, I will exasperate your hatred

still farther by a new offence, of which I trust you will never

pardon the boldness. I dote on you: I could not behold your charms

without being dazzled by them: and, in spite of the cloud in which my

destiny was enveloped, I had cherished the hope of being united to

you. I was so infatuated by my passion, or rather by my pride, as to

flatter myself that heaven, which perhaps conceals from me my birth

in mercy, might discover it one day, and enable me without a blush to

acquaint you with my real name. After this injurious avowal, can you

hesitate a moment about punishing me?

This rash declaration, replied the lady, would doubtless prove

offensive at any other season; but I forgive it in consideration of

the trouble which bewilders you. Besides, my own condition so

engrosses me, as to render me deaf to any strange ideas that may

escape you. Once more, Don Alphonso, added she, shedding tears,

begone far from a house which you have cast into mourning; every

moment of your longer stay adds pungency to my distress. I no longer

oppose your will, madam, returned I, preparing to take my leave:

absence from you must then be my portion: but do not suppose that,

anxious for the preservation of a life which is become hateful to

you, I go to seek an asylum where I may be sheltered from your

search. No, no; I bare my breast to your resentment. I shall wait

with impatience at Toledo for the fate which you design me; and by

surrendering at once to my pursuers, shall myself forward the

completion of my miseries.

At the conclusion of this speech I withdrew. My horse was returned

to me, and I went to Toledo, where I abode eight days, and really

with so little care to conceal myself, that I know not how or why I

have escaped an arrest; for I cannot suppose that the Count de Polan,

whose whole soul is set on cutting off my retreat, should not have

been aware that I was likely to pass through Toledo. Yesterday I

left that town, where it should seem as if I was tired of my liberty,

and without betaking myself to any fixed course of travelling, I came

to this hermitage, like a man who had no reason to be ashamed of

showing himself. Such, father, was the cause of my absence and

distraction. I beseech you to assist me with your counsels.

_CHAPTER XI._

_THE OLD HERMIT TURNS OUT AN EXTRAORDINARY GENIUS, AND GIL BLAS FINDS

HIMSELF AMONG HIS FORMER ACQUAINTANCE._

When Don Alphonso had concluded the melancholy recital of his

misfortunes, the old hermit said to him, My son, you have been,

excessively rash in tarrying so long at Toledo. I consider in a very

different light from that you affect to place it in, what you have

told me of your story; and your love for Seraphina seems to me to be

sheer madness. Take my word for it, you will do well to cancel that

young lady from your remembrance; she never can be of your communion.

Retreat like a skilful general, when you cannot act with effect on

the offensive; and pursue your fortune on another field, where

success may smile on your endeavors. You will be terribly out of

luck to kill the brother of the next young lady who may chance to

succeed this only possible object of your affection.

He was going to add many other inducements to resignation, in such a

case as Don Alphonso's, when we saw another hermit enter our retreat,

with a well stuffed wallet slung across his shoulders. He was on his

return, with the charitable contributions of all the good folks in

the town of Cuença; and the gathering did credit to the religion of

the age. He looked younger than his companion, in spite of his

thick, foxy beard. Welcome home, brother Antony, said the elder of

the two recluses; what news do you bring us from town? Bad enough,

answered the carroty friar, putting into his hands a paper, folded in

the form of a letter; this little instrument will inform you. The

hoary sage opened it, and after reading on with an increased

attention, as the contents seemed to grow more interesting,

exclaimed, Heaven's will be done! Since the combustion is

anticipated; we have only to fall in with the humor of our fate; Let

us change our dialect, Signor Don Alphonso! pursued he, addressing

his discourse to my young companion: you behold in me a man, like

yourself, who has been a broad mark for the wantonness of fortune to

take aim at. Word is sent me from Cuença, a town at the distance of

a league hence, that some back-biter has been blackening my fair fame

in the esteem of justice; who is coming with her hue and cry to

disturb the repose of these rural scenes, and to lay her paw upon my

person. But an old fox is too cunning to be caught in a trap. This

is not the first time that I have cut and run before the bloodhounds

of the law. But, thanks to myself for having my wits about me, I

have always ended the chase in a whole skin, and held myself in

readiness for another. It is now time to assume another form; for,

whether you like me best in my old skin or my new, I cast my hermit's

decrepit slough, to bask in the sunshine of youth and vigor.

To suit the action to the word, he threw off the encumbrance of his

ecclesiastical petticoat, and stood forth to view in a doublet of

black serge with slashed sleeves. Then off went his cap, and snap

went a string, which supported the hoary honors of a beard, and our

anchorite was at once transformed to a brawny ruffian of

eight-and-twenty or thirty. Brother Antony, following a good

example, discarded the outward show of religion, treated his fiery

beard as the snowy one had been handled just before, and pulled out

of an old worm-eaten trunk a sorry rag of a cassock, with which he

invested his person. But what words can express my surprise, when

Signor Don Raphael presented himself to my view, like a phœnix

from the ashes of the old bead-counter! To complete the trick of the

pantomime, brother Antony was turned into my faithful vassal and

trusty squire, Ambrose de Lamela. Here are miracles! exclaimed I, in

a quandary; as far as I can perceive, we are all hail fellow well

met! You never were more lucky in your life, Signor Gil Blas, said

Don Raphael, with a brazen-faced good humor: you have fallen among

old friends when you least expected it. It must be owned you have a

crow to pluck with us; but let the past be buried in oblivion, and

thank heaven, here we are together again. Ambrose and I will serve

under your banner; and let me tell you, you will have subalterns of

no contemptible prowess. You may object to our morals; but they are

better in the main than many a hypocrite's pretensions. We never

assassinate, and rarely maltreat; and that in pure self-defence. The

only liberty we take with society is to live at free quarters: and

though robbery may be considered as containing some little spice of

injustice, the necessity we labor under of committing it restores its

equilibrium to the scale. Even join your fortune with ours: you will

lead a life of hazard, but of variety. Our predatory peregrinations

have every pastoral beauty except innocence, and the want of that is

more than counterpoised by subtlety and stratagem. Not but, with all

our forecast, a certain mechanical concatenation of second causes

sometimes frustrates our best concerted projects, and drags our

philosophy through the mire. But a ducking now and then only makes

us swim the better. The seasons must all be taken in their turns:

the blanks as well as the prizes must be drawn in the cheating

lottery of life.

Courteous stranger, pursued the pretended hermit, speaking to Don

Alphonso, we extend the proposal of partnership to you, and it may be

a question whether you will better yourself by rejecting it, in the

lamentable condition of your affairs; for, to say nothing of the

chance medley for which you are at hide and seek, your fortune is

probably a little out at elbows. Most lamentably so, said Don

Alphonso; and hence, since the truth must out, are my forebodings

more dark than even my present evils. That is the very thing!

replied Don Raphael. You were sent by our better genius to join the

party. You will find no such good birth in the honest part of the

world. Your wants will all be supplied, and you may laugh at the

vigilance of your pursuers. There is not a corner in all Spain which

we have not ferreted out; those who are always on the scamper see a

great deal of the country. We are perfect connoisseurs in landscape,

and affect Salvator Rosa's rugged scenery. There we graze in peace

and freedom, secure from the brutality of justice. Don Alphonso

expressed himself very much obliged to them for their kind

invitation; and finding neither money in his purse, nor contrivance

to procure it in his pericranium, made up his mind at once not to

stand upon punctilio with morality. I too was led into a looser

course than agreed with my rigid principles, by a growing friendship

for this young man, whom I could not find in my heart to abandon in

so perilous an enterprise.

We all four agreed to set off in a body, and never to part company.

The question was put whether we should sound a retreat on the

instant, or first give a peremptory summons to a flagon of excellent

wine, which brother Antony had invested by regular approaches at

Cuença the day before; but Raphael, a more experienced general than

any of us, represented that the first thing to be done was to render

our own camp impregnable, for which purpose he proposed that we

should march all night, to gain a very thick wood between Villardesa

and Almodabar, where we should halt, as in a friendly country, and

recruit after the fatigues of the campaign. These general orders

were approved of in council. Our lay hermits then went about packing

up their baggage and provisions, which were swung in two bundles

across the back of Don Alphonso's horse. We were not long in our

preparations, after which we sheered off from the hermitage, leaving

a rich booty to legal rapine in the saintly paraphernalia of the two

hermits; including a white beard and a red one, two rickety

bedsteads, a table without a leg, a chest without a bottom, two

chairs without any seats, and an unmutilated image of St. Pacomo.

Our march was continued the whole night, and we began to chafe and

feel other inconveniences, when at daybreak we hailed the wood where

our toils were to end. Sailors after a long voyage work the ship

with double alacrity at the sight of their native land. So it was

with us; we pushed forward, and got to our journey's end by sunrise.

Dashing into the thickest of the wood, we pitched upon a retired and

pleasant spot, where the turf was circled in by tall and branching

oaks, whose gigantic limbs, interwoven over our heads, formed a

natural vault, not to be penetrated even by noon-day heat. We took

the bridle off the horse to let him feed after he was unloaded. Then

down we sat, pulling out of brother Antony's wallet some large pieces

of bread and good substantial slices of roast meat, at which we began

pegging with all possible pertinacity. Nevertheless, let our

appetites be as obstinate as they might, we every now and then

suspended the fray to spar a little with the flagon, which returned

our blows till it made us reel again.

About the end of the conflict, Don Raphael said to Don Alphonso, My

brave comrade, after the confidence you have reposed in me, it is but

fair that in my turn I should recount the history of my life to you

with the same sincerity. You will do me a great favor, answered the

young man. And an equal one to me, chimed in I. My curiosity is all

alive, to know your adventures, for doubtless they must afford much

matter of useful speculation. You may rest assured of that, replied

Don Raphael; and I mean to leave behind me a history of my own times.

The composition shall be the amusement of my old age, for I am as yet

in the prime of life, and mean to furnish in propriâ personâ, many

new hints for my commonplace-book. But we are all weary; let us

recruit with some hours of sleep. While we three lie down, Ambrose

shall keep watch for fear of a surprise, and shall then take a nap in

his turn. For though, to all appearance, we are here in perfect

safety, it is always good to keep a sentry at the outposts. After

this precaution he stretched himself along upon the grass. Don

Alphonso did the same. I followed their example, and Lamela

performed the office of a scout.

Don Alphonso, so far from getting any rest, was incessantly brooding

over his misfortunes, and I could not get a wink of sleep. As for

Don Raphael, he snored most sonorously. But he awoke in little more

than an hour, when, finding us in a listening mood, he said to

Lamela, My friend Ambrose, you may now yield to the gentle influence

of Morpheus. No, no, answered Lamela, my sleepy fit is over; and

though I know all the passages of your life by rote, they are so

instructive to the practitioners of our art and mystery, that I do

not care how often I hear the tale over again. Without further

preface, Don Raphael began the narrative of his adventures in these

terms.

BOOK THE FIFTH.

_CHAPTER I._

_HISTORY OF DON RAPHAEL._

I made my entrance on the stage of life at Madrid, where my mother

was an actress, famous for her dramatic, and infamous for her

intriguing talents. Her name was Lucinda. As for my father, every

man must have one; but my arithmetic is too scanty to determine the

number of mine. It might indeed be a matter of history, that such or

such a man of fashion was dangling after my mother at the epoch of my

arrival in this system; but then, that mere fact would by no means

warrant a deduction that any individual gallant of the mother must

therefore be the father of the child. A lady, so eminent as she was

in so notorious and wholesale a profession, must have many strings to

her bow; where her blandishments are most publicly lavished, her

favors are most sparingly bestowed: there is a show article or two

for public exhibition, but her every-day wares are cheap, and

hackneyed to the meanest purchaser.

There is nothing like taking scandal by the beard, and treating the

opinion of the world with heroic indifference. Lucinda, instead of

cooping me up in a garret at home, made no scruple about owning her

little bastard, but took me in her hand to the theatre with a modest

assurance, regardless how the tongue of rumor might babble at her

expense, or how the laugh of malice might peal at my unlucky

appearance. In short, I was her pet, and came in for the caresses of

all the men who frequented the house. One would have sworn that

nature pleaded in my favor, and inspired each of them with a father's

pride in the brat they had clubbed for. The twelve first years of my

life were suffered to waste away in all kinds of frivolous

amusements. Scarcely did they teach me to read and write. Still

less was it thought of any consequence to initiate me in the

principles of my religion. To dance, to sing, to play on the guitar,

was the sum total of my early attainments. With these gifts and

graces for my only acquisitions, the Marquis of Leganez asked for me

to be about his only son, who was nearly of my own age. Lucinda gave

her consent without reluctance, and it was then that I began to mind

a little what I was about. Young Leganez could not reproach me with

my ignorance; his little lordship was not cast in a scientific mould,

for he scarcely knew a letter of his alphabet, though he had been

under private tuition for fifteen months. None of his masters could

make anything of him; patience was never formed to engage in so

unequal a match. To be sure, they were expressly forbid to exercise

any severity on his noble carcass; their orders were to teach, not to

torture him; and this tender precaution, acting on a subject of

insufferably untoward dispositions, was the means of throwing to the

dogs all the mental physic they poured in; he would none of it.

But the verb-grinder engendered in his noddle a most ingenious

device, by which to keep this troublesome young lordling in awe,

without trenching on his foolish father's injunctions. The scheme

was no other than to flog me whenever that scapegrace Leganez had

incurred the penalty of the rod, and this vicarious execution was

inflicted with the utmost rigor. My consent to the transfer had

never been asked, and there was nothing in the act itself to

recommend it; so that my only chance was to run away, and appeal to

my mother against so arbitrary a discipline. However her maternal

feelings might inwardly revolt, no trace of woman's weakness could be

detected in her manner of receiving my complaint. The Leganez

connection was too important to be lost for a few whippings; and away

went she, dragging her culprit into the presence of his tormentor,

who, by this act of hers, became master of broom field. Experience

had convinced him that the success of his invention corresponded with

its felicity. He therefore went on improving the mind and manners of

the little grandee at the expense of my skin. Remorse for his

delinquencies was to be excited only by sympathy; so that whenever it

became necessary to make a bloody example, my seat of vengeance was

firked most unmercifully. The running account between young Leganez

and me was all on one side, and scarcely a day passed but he sinned

on tick and suffered by attorney. By the nearest calculation of

whole numbers, there went somewhere about a hundred cuts to teach him

each single letter of the alphabet; so that if you multiply 100 by 24

for stupidity, and add a 0 to the amount for moral offences, you will

have the sum total of the belaboring that his education cost me.

This thick and threefold companionship with birch was not the only

rub; my path through this family was more beset with thorns than

sweetened by flowers. As my birth and connections were no secret,

the whole of the establishment, to the very refuse of the household,

the stable boys and scullions, twitted me with my shameful origin.

This stuck so terribly in my throat that I made my escape once more,

but not without borrowing my tutor's ready money, amounting to

upwards of a hundred and fifty ducats, for an indefinite period, and

without interest. Thus was the account settled between us; since he

had made a property of my hide for a scarecrow, it was but fair that

I should have a finger in the earnings of his arm. For a first

attempt at thieving both the plan and execution were hopeful. A hue

and cry was raised for two days; it was hot while it lasted, but I

lay snug, and they missed me. Madrid was no longer a fit

hiding-place; so I took to cover in Toledo, and the hounds were

thrown out.

I was just then entering into my fifteenth year. What a happy

fellow, at such an early age, to shape my own conduct and be in a

condition of forming a set of morals for myself! I soon scraped

acquaintance with some pleasant youths, who rescued me from the

dominion of prejudice, and shared liberally with me in the sin of

spending what was not my own. By degrees I rose in society, and

leagued myself with a set of professional sharpers, who found me so

fine a subject to work upon, that a short time, with plenty of

practice, put me in possession of all the most desperate jobs. At

the expiration of five years, an itch for travelling laid hold of me.

I therefore took leave of my comrades, and got as far as Alcantara,

wishing to commence my peregrinations with the province of

Estremadura. In this my first excursion, an opportunity of keeping

in my hand occurred; and I was too diligent a practitioner to let it

escape. As I was on foot, and loaded moreover with a pretty heavy

knapsack, I halted from time to time to avail myself of the shade,

and recruit a little under the trees which lined the highway. At one

of these baits I picked up two young gentlemen, who were chatting at

their ease upon the grass, and inhaling the freshness of the breeze.

My mode of accosting them was suited to the occasion; nor did its

familiarity seem to be taken in ill part. The eldest could not be

more than fifteen--a couple of as practicable greenhorns as ever fell

into the hands of a man of genius. Courteous stranger, said the

youngest, we are the sons of two rich citizens at Placentia. Longing

extremely to see the kingdom of Portugal, we have each of us begged a

hundred pistoles from our friends, and are setting out to satisfy our

curiosity. Travelling on foot as we do, we shall be able to get a

good way with that supply, shall we not? What do you think of it?

If I had as much, answered I, they might take me who could catch me.

I would scour over the four known quarters of the globe, and then set

out on new discoveries. Fire and fury! Two hundred pistoles! Why,

it is an entail for a dukedom! You ought to lay by out of the

interest. If it is agreeable to you, gentlemen, I will club with you

as far as Almeria, whither I am going to take possession of an estate

left me by an uncle who was settled there for twenty years or upwards.

My young cockneys testified at once the pleasure they should derive

from my company. Whereupon, when we were all three a little

refreshed, we trudged on towards Alcantara, where we arrived early in

the afternoon. No inn but the best was fit to hold such guests. We

asked for a room, and were shown into one where there was a press

with a good strong lock upon it. Supper was ordered without delay;

but as some time was required to get it ready, I proposed to my

travelling companions a gentle saunter about the town. The party

seemed perfectly agreeable. We locked up our knapsacks in the press,

the key of which one of the citizens put in his pocket, and out

sallied we from the inn. The churches were the best lions we met

with in our way; and while we were gaping about the principal, I

pretended to have recollected on a sudden some very urgent business.

Gentlemen, said I to my companions, it has just come across me that a

good man of Toledo gave me a commission to say two words on his

behalf to a merchant who lives hard by this church. Have the

goodness to wait for me here; I will be back in a moment. With this

excuse, I went off like a shot, in the direction of our inn. The

press was my point of attack--I forced the lock, ransacked the

baggage of my young citizens, and laid a sacrilegious hand on their

pistoles. Poor youths! How they were to pay their reckoning, it was

not for me to presume even to guess, for most assuredly I stripped

them of all the natural means. After this feat, I decamped as

expeditiously as my legs could carry me from the town, and took the

direction of Merida, without caring a curse what became of the young

brood I had plucked.

Such a windfall as this placed me in a condition of travelling

merrily. Though in the very blush of youth, a certain forecast was

not wanting to carry me discreetly through the world, and keep my

head above water. It must be admitted without question, that I was a

youth of forward parts for my age, and unfettered by the prejudices

of innocence. I determined to buy a mule, and cheapened one at the

first market town. My knapsack was metamorphosed into a portmanteau,

and by degrees I began to put on the man of consequence. On the

third day a man came across me singing vespers with lungs like a pair

of bellows on the highway. By his air, he seemed to be a musician of

the church establishment, and I accosted him accordingly. Well done,

my holy howler of the hallelujahs! You sing your penitential ditties

at a good jovial pitch. To all appearance you sol-fa with your whole

heart and soul. Good sir, replied he, I belong, with your good

leave, to the musical department of the catholic church; and it is my

common practice to keep my devotion and my wind in play by the

rehearsal of an anthem or two as I travel along the road.

With this disposition to be sociable, we soon got into conversation.

It was clear to me that I had fallen in with a character not to be

despised in point of shrewdness, nor indisposed to society and

merriment. He was four or five-and-twenty. My companion being on

foot, I slackened my pace, for the pleasure of chatting with him.

Among other things, we talked about Toledo. I am perfectly well

acquainted with that city, said the brazen-lunged torturer of

anthems. It was my residence for a considerable time, and my

connections there are not altogether contemptible. And in what part

of the town, interrupted I, did you reside? In the New Street, was

his answer. I was hand in glove with Don Vincent de Buena Garra, Don

Matthias de Cordello, and two or three other gentlemen of very

considerable fashion. We lived together, took our meals at the same

mess, and, in short, were scarcely ever asunder. It was a charming

society! This avowal was no small surprise to me, for it is to be

understood, that the gentlemen whose names he cited with so pompous

an air were the very sharpers with whom I had been affiliated at

Toledo. Why, thou degenerate vicar choral! exclaimed I, these fine

blades of whom thou hast been boasting are among the number of my

acquaintance also, for I too have lived with them in the New Street;

we were hand in glove, took our meals at the same mess, and, in

short, were scarcely ever asunder. You are a wag! replied he, with a

knowing wink; that is to say, you got into the gang three years ago,

when I left it. My motive for quitting such a worshipful fraternity,

resumed I, was an itch for travelling. I mean to make the tour of

Spain. A little more knowledge of the world will make me quite

another thing. Doubtless, said he, there is no possible way but

travelling to rub off the rust, or to bring wit, talent, and address

to perfection. It is for the self-same reason that I too turned my

back upon Toledo, though the time glided away there very agreeably.

But thanks to a kind providence, which has yoked me with a laborer in

my own vineyard, when I least expected it. Let us join our forces,

let us travel the same road, let us make a joint-stock of our

neighbors' purses, let us rob, let us cheat, let us avail ourselves

of every opportunity that may offer of exemplifying our theory, and

improving our practice, in the noble art on which our skill is

employed. The proposal was made in so candid a spirit, so like a

citizen of the world, untainted with the selfishness of your honest

men, that I closed in with it at once. My confidence was surrendered

at the first summons to the frankness with which he volunteered his

own. We spoke our free hearts each to the other. I dilated all my

pilgrimage, and he spake of most disastrous chances, of moving

accidents through which he had passed even from his boyish days to

this very moment of his ripe and rampant roguery. It appeared that

he was on his way from Portalegre, whence he had been obliged to

decamp with the utmost expedition on account of a little swindling

transaction in which his luck happened not to keep pace with his

ingenuity. The habit he wore was sacrilegiously adopted as a cloak

to his person and real character, since he thought it safest to be

near the church, however far from God. Thus did we two share all our

counsel, and pledge our brother's vows, till we grew together like a

double cherry, and determined, with two seeming bodies but one heart,

to incorporate our voices and minds in some master-stroke at Merida.

If it took, well and good; if not, we had only to cut and run. From

this moment, community of goods, that pure and simple feature of

patriarchal life, was enacted as a law between us. Moralez, it is

true, for that was my fellow-traveller's name, did not find himself

in the most splendid condition possible. His funds were limited to

five or six ducats, with a few little articles in a bag. I therefore

was the moneyed man of the firm; but then there was brass in his

forehead for an inexhaustible coinage, and the seeming of a saint

when he played the devil most. So on we journeyed on the ride and

tie principle, and arrived in humble cavalcade at Merida.

We put up at an inn near the skirts of the town, where my comrade

changed his dress. When he had rigged himself in layman's attire, we

took a turn up and down to reconnoitre the ground, and see if we

could pick out some opportunity of laboring in our vocation. Had it

been our good fortune to have lived before Homer, that old apologist

for sharping by wholesale would have dignified our excursion with a

simile.

Not half so keen, fierce vultures of the chase

Stoop from the mountains on the feathered race, &c.

To descend into plain prose, we were ruminating on the chapter of

accidents, and hammering out some theme for the employment of our

industry, when we espied a gray-headed old gentleman in the street,

sword in hand, defending himself against three men who were thrusting

at him with all their might and main. The unfairness of the match

was what stuck in my throat; so that flying, with the spirit of a

prize-fighter, to see fair play, I made common cause with the old

man. Moralez followed up my blows. We proved ourselves a match for

the three assailants, and put them completely to the rout.

Our rescued friend was profuse in his acknowledgments. We are in

rapture, said I, at our good luck in being here so seasonably for

your assistance; but let us at least know to whom we have been so

fortunate as to be serviceable; and what inducement those three men

could possibly have for their murderous attempt. Gentlemen, replied

he, my obligations are too great to hesitate about satisfying your

curiosity; my name is Jerome de Moyadas, a gentleman of this town,

living on my means. One of these cut-throat rascals, from whom you

have rescued me, professes to be in love with my daughter. He asked

her of me in marriage within these few days; and for want of gaining

my consent in a quiet way, has just attempted to force himself into

my daughter's good graces by sending me into the other world. And

may we take the liberty, rejoined I, of inquiring further, why you

were so obdurate to the proposals of this enamoured swain? I will

explain the whole to you at once, said he. I had a brother, a

merchant in this town; his name was Austin. Two months ago he

happened to be at Calatrava, and took up his abode with his

correspondent, Juan Velez de la Membrilla. They got to be as loving

as turtles; and my brother, to clinch the connection, engaged my

daughter Florence to his good friend's son, not doubting but he had

influence enough with me to redeem his pledge when he returned to

Merida. Accordingly, he no sooner opened himself on the subject than

I consented out of pure fraternal affection. He sent Florence's

picture to Calatrava; but, alas! he did not live to put the finishing

hand to his own work. We laid him with his forefathers three weeks

ago! On his death-bed, he besought me not to dispose of my girl but

in favor of his correspondent's son. I satisfied his mind on that

point; and this is the reason why I have refused Florence to the

suitor by whom I was assaulted, though the match would have been a

very desirable one. But my word is my idol; and we are in daily

expectation of Juan Velez de la Membrilla's heir, who is to be my

son-in-law, though I know no more of him, nor of his father neither,

than if they were just imported from an undiscovered island. But I

beg pardon; this is an old man's garrulity. Yet you yourselves led

me into the scrape.

This tale did I swallow with a greedy ear; and pouncing at once upon

a part to play, which my fruitful imagination suggested, I put on an

air of inordinate surprise, and ventured at all hazards to lift my

eyes upward to a purer region. Then turning to my father-in-law,

with an expression of feeling which nothing but hypocrisy could

personate, Ah! Signor de Moyadas, is it possible that, on my arrival

at Merita, I should enjoy the heartfelt triumph of rescuing from foul

assassination the honored parent of my peerless love? This

exclamation produced all the astonishment it was levelled to excite

in the old citizen. Even Moralez himself stared like an honest man,

and showed by his face that there was a degree of impudence to which

his conceptions had not hitherto risen. What! do not my ears deceive

me? exclaimed the old gentleman. And are you really the son of my

brother's correspondent? Really and truly, Signor Jerome de Moyadas,

rejoined I, with impregnable effrontery, and a hug round his neck

that had nearly sent him after his brother. Behold the selected

mortal of his species, to whose arms the adorable Florence is

devoted! But these nuptial anticipations, transporting as they are,

must yield to the anguish of my soul for the demise of their founder.

Poor Austin! He is gone, and we must all follow! I should be

ingratitude personified, if my heart was not lacerated and rent by

the death of a man to whom I owe all my hopes of bliss. At the term

of this period, I squeezed good Jerome's weasand once more, and drew

the back of my hand across my eyes, to wipe away the tears it had not

been convenient to shed. Moralez, who by this time had conned over

the pretty pickings to be made out of this juggle, was not wanting to

play his underpart. He passed himself off for my servant, and

improved upon his master in lamentation for the untimely death of

Signor Austin. My honored master Jerome! exclaimed he, what a loss

have you sustained, since your brother is no more! He was such an

honest man! Honest men are not to be met with every day. A

superfine sample of commerce! A dealer in friendship without a

percentage! A dealer in merchandise without an underhand advantage!

A dealer who dealt as dealers very seldom do deal.

We had our hands to play against a man who was a novice at the game.

Simple and gullible, so far from smelling out the rat, he took his

stink for a nosegay. And why, said he, did you not come straight to

my house? It was not friendly to put up at an inn. On the footing

we are likely to be upon, there should be none of those punctilios.

Sir, said Moralez, helping me out of the scrape, my master is a

little too much given to stand upon ceremony. Though to be sure, in

the present instance, he is in some degree excusable for declining to

appear before you in this uncouth trim. We have been robbed upon the

road, and have lost all our travelling equipage. My lad, interrupted

I, has let the cat out of the bag, Signor de Moyadas. This unlucky

accident has prevented me from paying my respects sooner. True love

is diffident; nor could I venture in this garb into the presence of a

mistress who was unacquainted with my person. I was therefore

waiting the return of a servant whom I have sent to Calatrava. Such

a trifle, rejoined the old man, must not deprive us of your company;

and I insist upon it, that you make my house your home from this very

moment.

With such sort of importunity, he forced me into his family: but as

we were on our way, the pretended robbery was a natural topic of

conversation; and I should have made light of my baggage, though the

loss was very considerable, had not Florence's picture unluckily

formed a part of the booty! The old codger chuckled at that, and

observed, that such a loss was easily repaired: the original was

worth five hundred per cent. more than the copy. To make me amends,

as soon as we got home, he called his daughter, a girl of not more

than sixteen, with a person to have reclaimed a libertine, if beauty

ever possessed that power except in romance. You behold, said he,

the bale of goods my late brother has consigned to you. O, my good

sir! exclaimed I, in an impassioned tone, words are not wanting to

assure me that this must be the lovely Florence: those bewitching

features are engraven on my memory, their impression is indelible on

my heart. If the portrait I have lost, the mere outline of these

embodied charms, could kindle passion by its cold and lifeless

likeness, judge what must be my agitation, my transport at this

moment. Such language is too flattering to be sincere, said

Florence; nor am I so weak and vain as to be persuaded that my merits

warrant it. That is right; interchange your fine speeches, my

children! This was a good-natured encouragement from the father, who

at once left me alone with his daughter, and taking Moralez aside,

said to him, My friend, those who made so free with your baggage,

doubtless did not stand upon any ceremony with your money. Very

true, sir, answered my colleague; an overpowering band of robbers

poured down upon us near Castil-Blazo, and left us not a rag but what

we carry on our backs; but we are in momentary expectation of

receiving bills of exchange, and then we shall appear once more like

ourselves.