"Neither melancholy nor any other affection of the mind can hurt
bodies governed with temperance and regularity."
--CORNARO
A very sad thing about some nervous people is the fact that in their
lives there are domestic or other troubles which no physician can
overcome. Some of them live in depressing surroundings, but for all
these there is hope. There is no doubt that if we can restore the brain
to a perfectly normal, healthful state the human being can bear more
suffering than when the brain is affected. Perhaps when speaking of the
spirit we had better call it that, rather than the brain, for that
mysterious something we call spirit does make its home in the brain of
man. This has been proven scientifically. So then, in this life the
temple of the spirit, or soul, does affect the mind. And when I say this
life, I take the opportunity to say here that I not only believe in the
immortality of the soul, but now, at 45, I am as certain of it as I am
of my own existence. But for some reason--although as yet no one
understands why it should do so--when this temple in which the spirit
dwells is out of condition, it affects the soul or spirit. So, you see,
if we can make the physical man or woman well, we most certainly can
help the spirit that dwells within the body.
And so I recommend dieting, temperance in eating, and the careful
chewing of food to all those sufferers who unfortunately live in
depressing surroundings and cannot get away from them. When referring to
the many pitiful letters I have received from poor human beings thus
situated, I realize that I am treading on sacred ground. Such things are
written, of course, to a physician in confidence and the confidence must
therefore be forever sacred. I have not only had letters from these
unfortunate people, but have repeatedly come in contact with many of
them in their every day life. I know well what added suffering such
conditions bring to them.
I know of nothing in this world more pitiful than a noble,
high-spirited, ambitious woman, pure and clean of heart, who marries a
man and becomes the mother of his children and is then condemned to live
the life of a mere animal. And all too frequently the opposite also
obtains. Sometimes a man of high, pure purpose finds that he has chosen
as the mother of his children a coarse, sensual woman. Now why in the
world were these two people attracted to each other? This is one of
life's biggest puzzles to those who have thought much along this line.
In many instances extreme youth is the reason given. While youth is
mating time, it also is the time of bad judgment. Thousands of young
people have made this dreadful mistake simply because they married too
young. On the other hand, youth is not altogether to blame. When people,
young or old, are courting, each individual endeavors to appear at his
or her best before the other. Without being actually aware of it, under
such circumstances both man and woman are doing all that lies in their
power to deceive one another.
If people would do their courting in everyday clothes, and if the girl
would go about her housework while the man looked on, or better still,
if he helped her with it for one or two years, they would undoubtedly
become better acquainted.
But, after all, except, perhaps, in unusual cases, there is absolutely
nothing by which people know that they are going to be properly mated.
If a man with a tendency to neurasthenia breaks down and is tied to a
nagging wife, that is usually the last straw in the way of his
recovery.
This is just as true of the woman who breaks down and has a nagging
husband. There are, I regret to say, thousands of such cases all over
the country. On the other hand I have had a man come to me and say that
he was willing to do anything on earth to aid his wife, but he could not
get her to diet or even to make a serious attempt to get well. I am
always tremendously sorry for such a man because he has a mighty heavy
burden to bear. Such a wife should try to get well as much for the man's
sake as for her own. She should understand that she is needlessly
torturing the one best friend she has on earth.
A woman of this kind should remember that, no matter how much she may
suffer, she is hopelessly selfish if she will not do all in her power to
diet and to obey other necessary rules that will enable her to get rid
of the malady. Sometimes when a physician puts this before her kindly
but firmly it results in her making a beginning and by and by getting
well. I have seen this happen many times. And I wish to say right here
that while I believe I was born with some natural tact, yet if I had not
gone through all this horrible suffering myself I should not, I know, be
able to say the things that would induce these people to do that which
it is their duty to do.
And here is one big difficulty I have always had to contend with. Some
of these people have tried so many so-called nonsense cures--eating
buttermilk tablets, for instance--and have had no benefit from them,
that they are unwilling to try the one and only thing that will cure
them--the thing that will cure them as sure as the sun shines. I wonder
why it is that since the time of Christ people are always looking for a
sensational or miraculous cure. Our life and everything pertaining to it
is miracle enough, if we only had the sense to see it.
The woman or the man with "nerves" is not going to get well eating
buttermilk tablets or taking patent dope while lying on a couch and shut
in a house. You must bestir yourself. You must get out of doors, and
above all, you must eat right. Today thousands of these people are
languishing in hospitals and sanitariums, and most of them will come out
only to go back again and again. The institutional treatment is good for
the beginning of the cure, but if an individual with "nerves" is going
to get well and stay well he must change his lifelong habits.
And I want to say again, that any person, man or woman, in the midst of
depressing conditions can triumph over them if he will eat as he should
and live as he should. There is something about the human soul, if it is
pure and fine, and if proper attention is given to right living, that
will enable a person to meet great sorrow and triumph over it. In fact,
no amount of sorrow can defeat a person who keeps his heart and body
right.
And I would have you all realize that there is something far more to us
than mere bones and veins and nerves. I know the terrible tendency of
the one with "nerves" to get angry. But lay fast hold of yourself. Fight
anger as you would poison, because in reality it is poison to your
nerves. Anger will hurt you; it will hurt anybody. But no matter how
hard you find it at first, get control of your temper. If you succeed in
doing this in a year you will have won one of the greatest victories man
can win in this world. I would rather meet a so-called plain man who has
perfect control over his physical and mental faculties, and sit and talk
quietly with him, than to meet the Prime Minister of England or the
President of the United States if either lacked this control. For I say
to you that no matter what others may say, the true measure of success
does not rest in the position you occupy but in your having complete
control of yourself.
If you are to gain this control it means that each day you are
confronted by a mighty big task, but if finally successful, you will
have accomplished the greatest thing a man can do in this life. Now,
here is something for you to take hold of, you who all these years have
believed that your life ambition has been thwarted. But your ambition,
let me tell you, has not been thwarted. Perhaps you have not done just
what you wanted to do. But it's quite possible that you had no business
trying to do that special thing anyway. Most of us, I find, can be
greatly mistaken about what we think we want to do. At any rate, we can
never be happy unless we gain entire control of ourselves.
This is something the person afflicted with "nerves" most certainly can
do, and he can use this terrible "thing" as I myself and thousands of
others have used it as a ladder to climb to the sunlit peaks where worry
and clouds and storms cannot trouble. And, after all, no matter who we
are, no matter how poor or how rich we are, and no matter where we live,
life holds about the same general possibilities for all of us. I mean by
this that life affords to all the same opportunities for real happiness.
I know very well that there are those who will be quite unwilling to
grant this, but it is as true as the life we live. Many people in this
old world still hold the notion that those who roll in wealth are the
happy ones. But I say to you this notion is all wrong, and from
knowledge gained through experience I know that in their hearts many of
these wealthy people are dissatisfied and not one whit happier than you
are. The most restless people, the most unhappy people, and the most
thoroughly dissatisfied people that I have ever met have been people who
had everything that riches could give them.
Andrew Carnegie said he had noticed that after a man had accumulated a
million dollars smiles were seldom seen on his face. I cannot understand
why people insist on going through life making themselves and all those
they really love miserable just because they do not happen to have
riches.
And a great many high-strung sensitive men are utterly cast down because
they have failed to acquire wealth by the time they are forty-five or
fifty years of age.
I wish I could make all such poor, afflicted people see what goes to
make up happiness and learn the only way to be happy. In order to get
well the thing we have to do is to follow nature's simple rules--rules
our Creator gave to us. We must get control not only of our appetites
but of all such passions as anger, hate, and envy, which poison our
bodies. And let us also cast suspicion out of our minds. This is a good
rule to observe: Never suspect folks. It is useless, anyway, for by and
by what they are or what they do is always bound to come to the surface.
By gaining perfect control over yourself--and most certainly to do so is
worth every effort you may make--you will also gain patience, and that
is, I think, one of the crowning virtues. Sometimes I think it the
greatest of all virtues. Certainly it stands very high in the perfecting
of character.
To the sufferer with "nerves" I would say: Have the courage to believe
that you are going to get well. Then you can do it. No matter how
depressing or discouraging your surroundings, do the very best you can
every day. Then, no matter what your ideas of success may have been,
you are really succeeding wonderfully! See that you keep right on doing
it! If you are a mother and have children, live for them. Or if you are
a father and have children, and have met with disappointments, live for
those children! Do everything in your power to make them happy, high of
heart, and gallant of soul. Do not live for yourself, live for your
children. If you have no children of your own, look about and get
interested in some other person's children. You will find a lot of
children all around you--blessed little beings--that you can help to
make happy. Get your mind off yourself and your troubles and on the
children of this world, and keep it there.
When you were a child no doubt you had many happy days. Some of us had a
very happy childhood, while others may have been denied what their
hearts desired. But if we did not have a happy childhood that is all the
more reason why we should be glad to help some other little ones have a
happy one. More and more each year I live I come to believe that it
depends entirely upon grown people whether in this world children are
happy or not happy.
If you had a happy childhood--and most people had--do you not recall the
glorious times you had? I know you do, for we all do. And I know, too,
how much people affected with nerves dwell on those memories, and how
much they wish they might go back to those blessed days when the sun was
always shining and the birds were always singing and the streams always
beckoning them to play along their sands.
Do you realize that you can live in those days again? I do, and I go
back and dwell in them more and more the older I get. I do not mean that
I am not looking forward, for I am, tremendously.
How stupid we poor miserable creatures of this world become after we
leave our childhood days behind us! We really should never lose sight of
them. I have said that the person afflicted with "nerves" should not
run. I did not quite mean all that implies. After such a man has
recovered, if he has a good heart, he should run a little. I run; I
can't help it. I feel so good I have to run a little now and then to
work off steam. But you know very well when most people see a man
running they at once think a house is afire somewhere.
It is almost unbelievable that we should actually surround ourselves
with so many utterly senseless customs that tend to nothing but misery
and unhappiness. We should dress for comfort, and we should have the
courage to live in a youthful world where all may be happy. "If the
blind lead the blind," so the Bible tells us, "both shall fall into the
ditch." We need so to live and act that we shall not fail to be happy.
Happiness really is what everybody is chasing, but how very far away
from it most people are getting! Go back to the memories of your
childhood. Be with children and play with them all you possibly can. If
you are a mother, begin this very day to exercise more patience with
your children, recalling over and over again that when you were a child
you were just as they are. And remember, for it is only too true, that
the day is fast coming when your little boy will no longer be a little
boy, he will be a man, and will have gone away from you. Then many times
you will wish him back, and you will look back on those days when you
thought your nerves were being ruined, and feel a great swelling in your
breast, and breathing a sigh, whisper to yourself, "Dear God, I hope I
did all I ought to have done for him while he was little."
I know that any one can live with children and find happiness in being
one with them, and I know of no better thing to do. After we have hold
of ourselves with a firm grip we should endeavor to do this.
I have had people suffering with "nerves" tell me they had lost a little
boy or a little girl, and that it seems impossible to get over this
loss. I cannot tell you how much I long to help such people. But I
always urge them to go right on playing with other children and to
remember, for to me it is certain truth, that they will meet that little
child again. There should be nothing to grieve about in such a loss. To
find compensation, the one who has had such a grief has only to keep on
playing the part of a true man or true woman. Childhood with all its
pains and pleasures is everywhere about us. And childhood is only the
beginning of immortality.
Late one night, a number of years ago, I was sitting in a little
restaurant in a western town, and was feeling very lonely and miserable.
Sorrow weighed heavily upon me that night and the world never seemed
blacker, yet I think my belief in the immortality of the soul had never
been more certain. I looked up and high on the smoke-stained wall hung a
painted picture of an old-time ship with many sails set. This painting
pictured the ship sailing through the darkness of night. But through the
dark, seemingly restless clouds the moon gleamed brightly on the white
canvas of the sails.
I had never before been so powerfully impressed by any picture. It
seemed fairly to speak to me. I took an envelope from my pocket and set
down the verses given here. These verses were afterwards published in
one or two metropolitan papers. Mr. James Bryce, then English Ambassador
at Washington, saw them and wrote me a beautiful letter about them, in
which he said, "Your little poem 'The Last Journey' attracts me very
much." You see he was beginning to grow old, and I knew that was the
reason these lines of mine had made an appeal to him.
Not very long after this I also had a letter about the verses from Dr.
Osler, then Regius Professor of Medicine at Oxford. In it he said, "I
have read your little poem 'The Last Journey' with unusual interest."
And again I knew why. You see, it does not matter very much what our
rank or our station here, no matter whether a human being is a king or
what his station in life may be, he still is a human being. We are all
reaching out after the same great thing. The fine thing about the
sentiment of these little verses is that although you wish to and may
not believe it, it is coming true anyway.
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