MASTER AND MAN
When Mr. Gibb entered he found Mr. Hooper in a state of agitation;
there was nothing very amazing in that, as he had found him in that
condition on previous occasions; but it seemed to Mr. Gibb that, in
his agitation then, there was a quality which was new. Mr. Hooper
assailed him the moment he was past the door.
"Now, Mr. Gibb, you have been and gone and done it."
"Done what, sir?"
"I think it's extremely possible that you've laid yourself open to an
indictment for conspiracy."
"Have I, sir?"
"You brought Miss Lindsay here?"
"Excuse me, sir, but if you'll remember you told me to ask her to
come."
"You put me up to it."
"I merely happened to mention that she was looking for something to
do, and so she is."
"No she isn't."
"Isn't she, sir?"
"No, she's found it! And that's where I'm in a position to prove
conspiracy. Mr. Gibb, do you mean to tell me that Miss Lindsay has
been pawning her things?"
"I hope you won't let it go any further, sir."
"Do you think I'm---- What do you think I am?"
"I haven't thought, sir; only it happened to come to my knowledge, and
it seemed to me to be a sad thing for her to have to do."
"All I can say is that she hasn't pawned all her things."
"No, sir, but she soon would have done."
"Have you any idea of how much that dress cost which she had on? to
say nothing of the hat!"
"Not exactly, sir, I haven't; but my sister told me that some of her
things must have cost a good bit of money."
"That dress cost every penny of five-and-twenty or thirty pounds, and
I dare say the hat cost another tenner; and she's been walking about
in those kind of things her whole life long, I'm sure of it."
"I told you, sir, she was a lady born and bred."
"Mr. Gibb, you see advertisements for a lady, as barmaid; when I think
of that I don't want to think of Miss Lindsay as a lady; she's on a
different plane; she's of heaven, not of earth."
"I told you, sir, she was high as the heavens above me."
"So she is; you were right there; although the construction of your
sentence is faulty, Mr. Gibb. She's a divinity among women; a poem
among girls; the ideal which a man sets up for himself of what a woman
may be when God chooses."
"Is she, sir?"
"Look at her! how she walks, how she moves, how she bears herself! And
what a voice! had Orpheus had it he'd have needed no warbling string
to aid him to draw 'iron tears down Pluto's cheek!' Then what beauty's
in her face; but there's in it what not one beautiful woman in a
thousand has, there's a soul! Mr. Gibb, I've only seen Miss Lindsay
about twenty minutes, but I regard her as 'a perfect woman, nobly
planned'; and I may add 'she was a phantom of delight, when first she
gleamed upon my sight,' therefore I say you were guilty of conspiracy
in luring me on to ask her to come here; because what has the result
been?"
"What has it, sir?"
"The result has been that I've made an idiot of myself; a complete and
perfect ass."
"Have you, sir?"
"I don't like your tone, Mr. Gibb, it exacerbates. It is in itself
enough to prove your guilt. Had you not been engaged in a conspiracy
you would have been surprised beyond measure at the wholly unforeseen
result. But, as it is, I put it to you, Mr. Gibb; are you surprised?"
"Well, sir, in a way I can't say I am, not exactly."
"There you are! there you are! Do you know, Mr. Gibb, that I've given
Miss Lindsay to understand that I've retained her services as a member
of my staff?"
"She told me you'd engaged her, sir."
"Oh, she did, did she? What did she tell you I'd engaged her as?"
"As jobbing secretary, sir."
"And pray what is a jobbing secretary?"
"That's what I was wondering."
"She asked me what a jobbing secretary was; and I explained as clearly
as I could under the circumstances, and considering that I don't know
myself. When you reflect on the fact that I have engaged her to be
something which I never heard of before you will have grasped the
initial difficulty of my position; which is complicated by the further
fact that she is, what she certainly is, a divinity among women. If
she'd come, say, about twelve and leave before one; or if she'd spend
a few hours daily in intellectual conversation with me in here; or if
she'd come out with me to enjoy the air, say on the top of an omnibus;
or even if she'd go out with you, for a little pedestrian exercise,
from two to six; the situation might be lightened. But she'll do none
of these things; she's as good as said so. She told me, with a
delicious seriousness which took all idea of resistance clean out of
me, that she meant to do a man's work for a man's wage. Now, Mr. Gibb,
in this office I don't see how it's going to be done."
"I'm sure I don't."
"I don't do a man's work."
"No, sir, you don't."
"You do still less."
On this point Mr. Gibb was discreetly silent; he seemed to be turning
something over in his mind, of which he presently gave Mr. Hooper the
benefit.
"I think, sir, I've got an idea of something you might give Miss
Lindsay to do."
"Let's have it; you know, Mr. Gibb, any pearls of wisdom which you may
drop are always welcome."
"You remember, sir, when I first came you gave me some papers which
you said I might copy when I'd nothing else to do."
"I have some dim recollection of something of the kind. Well, have
they been copied?"
"No, sir, they haven't."
"How long have you had them?"
"Oh, rather more than two years."
"Then it's time they were copied. What papers are they?"
"I never could make out, and I don't think you could either; they're
counsels' opinions, or judges' rulings, or something like that. I know
when I asked you what they were you told me not to ask any questions;
so I knew you didn't know."
"Mr. Gibb, you have a way of your own of arriving at conclusions. I
think I recall those papers; they were here when I came into
possession; they'd been stuffed up the chimney to keep out the draught
or something."
"I was thinking, sir, if you could think of nothing else, that you
might get Miss Lindsay to copy them."
"There's--there's something in the idea. Could we pass them off as
genuine?"
"As how, sir?"
"Are they of an appearance, and character, which would enable us to
induce Miss Lindsay to believe that they really are papers of
importance?"
"I should think so, sir; I know it took me ever so long before I found
them out."
"Ah; then it might take her a week. By that time we may have hit upon
something else. Where are those papers?"
"They're in my desk."
"Then get them out of your desk. Have them cleaned, tidied, made
presentable; Miss Lindsay shall commence on them as soon as she
arrives. And I tell you something else I'll do. Miss Lindsay tells me
she can work a typewriter."
"Can she?"
"I'll get her one. I think I should prefer to have good, clear
typewritten copies of those papers, Mr. Gibb; they'll be so much more
accessible for reference. I--I suppose a typewriter can be hired."
"Oh yes, sir; I believe from about half-a-crown a week."
"That doesn't seem to be a prohibitive figure; I'll hire one; I'll go
out this afternoon to see about it. You see, Mr. Gibb, how one thing
leads to another. I propose to increase my staff; the mere proposition
adds materially to my own labours. I know no more about typewriters
than I do about sewing-machines; of which I know nothing; so I foresee
that my afternoon will be fully occupied. By the way, Mr. Gibb, a
further point; you have found an idea which has been of assistance in
one direction, perhaps you might find a second which would be of some
service to me in another."
"What is it, sir?"
"As you put it to me, I take it that you will allow it to go no
further; but, between ourselves, I have undertaken to pay Miss
Lindsay, as jobbing secretary, since she proposes to do a man's work
for a man's wage, an honorarium of two guineas a week."
"So she told me, sir."
"So she told you, did she? Oh! Then I suppose she expects to get it."
"I expect she does, sir."
"Then in that case I think that, perhaps, I had better make it
perfectly clear to you how, precisely, the land lies." From a drawer
which he unlocked in his writing-table Mr. Hooper took three
sovereigns and some silver; he displayed the coins to the best
advantage on the table. "This choice, but small, collection of bullion
has to last me, Mr. Gibb, to quarter day. There are still three clear
weeks. I have to pay you thirty shillings; being three weeks' wages at
ten shillings a week; out of the balance I have to pay Miss Lindsay
six guineas, and keep myself; besides having to meet certain small
liabilities which must be met. I should be glad, Mr. Gibb, if you
would give me some idea of how it is to be done."
"I think, sir, if I were you, I should let me explain to Miss
Lindsay."
"Explain what, Mr. Gibb?"
"What kind of gentleman you are."
"And pray, in your opinion, what kind of gentleman am I?"
"Well, considering how you've gone and done it with Miss Lindsay I
shouldn't think you'd want much explaining, sir."
"That's true, Mr. Gibb, most true. Still, I'm curious to hear what
you'd tell her."
"I wouldn't give you away, sir."
"Wouldn't you? Oh! What would you do?"
"I should simply tell her, sir, that you'd been thinking things over,
and that you'd come to the conclusion that two guineas a week was too
much to pay her at the start; and that you thought--should I say
fifteen shillings ought to be enough at the beginning, sir?"
"Fifteen shillings! And I promised her two guineas!"
"Yes, sir, you promised her."
"What kind of a person do you suppose she'd think I am?"
"I don't see how it matters, sir."
"You don't see how it matters!"
"Well, sir, you can't pay her two guineas a week, no matter what
she thinks of you; and you might manage to pay her fifteen
shillings--somehow. I expect you'd find she'd sooner have fifteen
shillings in cash than two guineas in promises."
"Mr. Gibb, you appear to have a high opinion of me."
"I have, sir; I couldn't have a higher."
"Couldn't you? you young scoundrel! Pray when did I make a promise to
you which I didn't keep, to the letter?"
"When I came, sir, you gave me six shillings a week, now you give me
ten; but there's a difference between ten shillings and two guineas."
"Yes, Mr. Gibb, and there's a difference between you and Miss
Lindsay."
"Don't I know it, sir? There's all the difference in the world."
"As you say, there's all the difference in the world. Miss Lindsay is
a divinity among women."
"That's exactly my opinion, sir; and has been from the first."
"It has been your opinion, has it, Mr. Gibb? Then allow me to inform
you that when I enter into an undertaking with--with a divinity among
women, to do a certain thing, I do that thing. I have undertaken to
pay Miss Lindsay two guineas a week; I will pay her two guineas a
week. The money shall be found; I will find it. Be so good, Mr. Gibb,
as to look up those papers you spoke about, and see that they are in a
presentable condition, so that Miss Lindsay can begin on them directly
she arrives."