Advertisements. 4

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[Illustration: STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S ALLIGATOR.]

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Volume I.—No. 12.] SATURDAY, JULY 10, 1858. [Price 2 Cents.

Bennett, Barnum, and Gerard.

_Three precocious villains stripped to the skin.—Precious, and

startling, and thrilling under-current revelations for the

people.—Read! Read! Read!_

_Bennett’s_ daily urgence of the immediate creation of a Tax Payer’s

Party is one of his old tricks, and is the detected burglar’s hoarse cry

of stop thief. Bennett got me to introduce Alfred Carson as a Candidate

for Mayor, just after his exciting Fire Report of 1850. I wrote several

articles in favor of Carson for the Mayoralty, and Bennett published

them, when lo! one rainy morning, I awoke, and opened the _Herald_, and

the hypocritical old villain had another Candidate. I asked him if he

intended to drop my old friend Carson, and he said no, but he thought he

would try to bring another candidate into the field, just for a little

fun, and that I could write about three editorials a week for Carson,

and flatter him as much as I chose, and he would publish them. This was

on Monday. On Wednesday, I caught him closeted with a formidable

candidate for the Mayoralty, and on Saturday, he very cautiously

introduced a third Candidate for the Mayor’s honors. As these were all

wealthy men, and as Carson was very poor, and perceiving that Bennett

unquestionably intended to sell Carson, and perhaps had already done so,

I went to him in a towering rage, and charged him with treachery to

myself and Carson. He smiled like Richard and Iago, and assured me that

he should support Carson down to the last hour of the election. But I

could not believe him; so I went to Carson, on Sunday morning, and wrote

his famous declination of the Mayoralty, which rocked the parties of

that day to their foundations with infinite delight, as every traffic

politician had trembled to his toes, since the introduction of Carson’s

potent and honest name for the Mayoralty. When I carried Carson’s Card

to the _Herald_ office, on Sunday evening, Mr. Bennett was absent,

having gone to the country with Judge Russell and his lady. But Frederic

Hudson was there—(his Aminadab Sleek Secretary,) who expostulated, and

strove by every artifice in his prolific resources, to induce me not to

publish Carson’s Card until I had seen Mr. Bennett. But I demanded him

to let the Card appear on the following morning, and told him that

himself and Bennett should be ashamed of themselves for striving to sell

Carson through me, and that I believed Bennett had already received

thousands of dollars for his contemplated sell of Carson, in favor of

one of the wealthy candidates. My withdrawal of Carson led to the

election of Ambrose C. Kingsland, a very illiterate man, and one of the

meanest of the human species, and the oiliest and biggest conspirator

and public thief since the days of the Roman Cataline. In 1853, Bennett

asked me to introduce the name of Alderman A. A. Denman, of the

Sixteenth Ward, as a candidate for Mayor, to whom I was imparting the

rudiments of the English language, at his house in Nineteenth street.

Denman was Chairman of the Committee that reported favorably at my

request, on awarding the Corporation Printing to the _Herald_ at $3,000

per annum, and the other journals at $1,000. Bennett seemed grateful to

Denman for his favorable Printing Report, and I really thought he was

sincere in his contemplated advocation of Denman for the Mayoralty; and

I saw Denman, and he permitted me to use his name in connection with the

Mayoralty, and I began to write articles, and published them in the

_Herald_, strongly recommending Denman to the Mayoralty. At this time,

Denman was one of the most popular men in the democratic party, and his

annunciation for Mayor, confused the leaders and aspirants of all

parties. Presto! Bennett announces another candidate, in a sort of a

half-and-half black mail way, and I instantly withdrew Denman, who was

sadly disappointed at the loss of the Mayoralty honors, and joined the

most bloated thieves of all parties, in the odious Common Counsel of

1852 and 1853, and he was soon forever lost as an honorable public man.

And now this Scotch reprobate comes forward, without a blush on his

vicious cheeks, and prates of a Tax Payer’s Party, in order to effect

some hellish thievish purpose. Perhaps his object is to nominate Judge

Russell, or Fire Marshal Baker, or Galbraith, or some of his roguish

go-betweens and thimble-riggers for Mayor, so that he can occupy the

pleasant relations of Peter Cooper to Mayor Tiemann, his amiable

son-in-law. But how the intelligent tax payers of the Metropolis can be

so easily and so often bamboozled by this superficial Scotch Juggler, is

a mystery to me, when they all know that he has always favored vice, and

stabbed virtue. And if there ever was a candidate for office, during

Bennett’s long editorial career, whom he did not sell, or if there ever

was a truly virtuous aspirant for public honors, whose election Bennett

ever sincerely advocated before the people, without a cash

consideration, I should like to see the most extraordinary anomaly.

Bennett very ingeniously plasters his victims with disgusting panegyric,

for a brief period, when he lets loose the dogs of Tartarus, and while

they devour them, he fills his coffers with gold from every candidate in

the field, to whom he has pledged his support. But he is very old, and

the devil will soon have him, and millions will rejoice when old Nick

drags him to his fervent realms, and begins his merited tortures. And it

will require wasteless years to burn the sins from his infamous and

loathsome and nauseous carcase. The creation of James Gordon Bennett’s

Tax Payer’s Party, after his cash advocation of all the abandoned scamps

of America to office for thirty years, is the most amusing proposition

of the age. And yet the omnipotent ballot stuffers may come to his

rescue, and adopt his plans. And why should they not? Is not Barnum

again abroad, and about to shake the world with another humbug. Barnum

has grown prodigiously affluent since the Hard times began, and since

money became scarce, and since people began to starve, and since the

elements of Pluto leveled his Oriental Palace to the ground, (which was

highly insured!) and above all, since he took as partner, that cunning

old rat, James W. Gerard, who, like Dick Connolly and Simeon Draper, is

ever found in all political camps. Gerard was the real originator of the

Joice Heath imposture, and all of Barnum’s humbugs, and has borne him

through all his financial clock troubles, for which he has got enough

from Barnum to enable him to sustain his chariots and postilions and

magnificent establishment in Gramercy Park until he dies. It was Gerard

who introduced Kingsland for Mayor, and other successful candidates,

and, in the dark, advocated Fernando Wood’s course down to his

disastrous exodus from public life. And it was Gerard who sustained

Matsell through all his infamous career, down to the famous meeting in

the Tabernacle, and in the Legislative lobby, even going into the seats

of members, and coaxing them in various ways to spare Matsell. And it

was Gerard who, after Wood had fallen, went into the camp of Tiemann,

where he is now, in order to cut the throats of Tiemann and the Coopers

the first opportunity, and is at this moment, in collusion with Bennett

in the formation of a Tax Payer’s Party. “All things to all men” is the

motto of Gerard, and he has played his card adroitly for nearly half a

century. But he has now probably got his last set of false teeth, and

his last wig, and will probably soon die of old age like his old friend

Bennett, who have operated together in ambuscade, for thirty unbroken

years, in all the political villainy that has been concocted during this

long and eventful period. No matter who succeeds in the elections,

Gerard and Bennett are in the triumphant camps, as now: Bennett in

Buchanan’s White House, and Gerard in Mayor Tiemann’s confidence, and

both playing into each others hands, like Draper and Connolly.

Picolomini is the last card that these jugglers will play. Gerard is a

snob and a dandy, and an Opera exquisite, and it was he, (through

Barnum,) who introduced Jenny Lind to the Americans, and got Bennett,

for a large sum, to abuse Barnum and Jenny Lind, as an advertisement.

Bennett did not get less than $20,000 from _Gerard_ and Barnum for his

daily abuse of Jenny Lind and Barnum. I was daily in the _Herald_ office

in those days, and I often saw Barnum closeted with Frederic Hudson, and

James Gordon Bennett. And Gerard and Barnum have already arranged with

Bennett, and paid him the cash down, to abuse Picolomini, while the

_Times_ and _Tribune_ and many other journals are to be paid to praise

her. And such a yell as we shall have on her arrival, will frighten the

rats and cats. For, in this funny world, blarney is regarded as sincere

praise and evidence of merit, while detraction is persecution, which

verdant people won’t tolerate, and especially when hurled at such

fascinating creatures as Fanny Elssler, or Jenny Lind, or Picolomini.

This is certainly a very curious world, and, like Dr. Franklin, I am

curious to know if our spiritual existence is to be as curious as our

material; and I am extremely anxious to learn if Bennett, Barnum, and

Gerard are to have an eternal abode in Heaven?

Stephen H. Branch’s Alligator.

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Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 12, July 10, 1858 · 第 3 / 17 题