On entering the ball-room, the visitor should at once seek the lady
of the house, and pay his respects to her. Having done this, he may
exchange salutations with such friends and acquaintances as may be in
the room.
If the ball be a public one, and a gentleman desires to dance with
any lady to whom he is a stranger, he must apply to the master of the
ceremonies for an introduction.
Even in private balls, no gentleman can invite a lady to dance without
a previous introduction. This introduction should be effected through
the lady of the house, or a member of her family.
No lady should accept an invitation to dance from a gentleman to whom
she has not been introduced. In case any gentleman should commit the
error of so inviting her, she should not excuse herself on the plea of
a previous engagement, or of fatigue, as to do so would imply that
she did not herself attach due importance to the necessary ceremony
of introduction. Her best reply would be to the effect that she would
have much pleasure in accepting his invitation, if he would procure an
introduction to her. This observation may be taken as applying only to
public balls. At a private party the host and hostess are sufficient
guarantees for the respectability of their guests; and, although
a gentleman would show a singular want of knowledge of the laws of
society in acting as we have supposed, the lady who should reply
to him as if he were merely an impertinent stranger in a public
assembly-room, would be implying an affront to her entertainers.
The mere fact of being assembled together under the roof of a mutual
friend, is in itself a kind of general introduction of the guests to
each other.
An introduction given for the mere purpose of enabling a lady and
gentleman to go through a dance together, does not constitute an
acquaintanceship. The lady is at liberty to pass the gentleman in the
park the next day without recognition.
No gentleman should venture to bow to a lady upon the strength of a
ball-room introduction, unless she does him the honour to recognize
him first. If he commits this solecism he must not be surprised to
find that she does not return his salutation.
No gentleman should accept an invitation to a ball if he does not
dance. When ladies are present who would be pleased to receive an
invitation, those gentleman who hold themselves aloof are guilty, not
only of a negative, but a positive act of neglect.
To attempt to dance without a knowledge of dancing is not only to make
one's self ridiculous, but one's partner also. No lady or gentleman
has the right to place a partner in this absurd position.
Never forget a ball-room engagement. To do so is to commit an
unpardonable offence against good breeding.
It is not necessary that a lady or gentleman should be acquainted
with the _steps_, in order to walk gracefully and easily through a
quadrille. An easy carriage and a knowledge of the figure is all
that is requisite. A round dance, however, should on no account be
attempted without a thorough knowledge of the steps, and some previous
practice.
No person who has not a good ear for time and tune need hope to dance
well.
At the conclusion of a dance, the gentleman bows to his partner, and
either promenades with her round the room, or takes her to a seat.
Where a room is set apart for refreshments, he offers to conduct her
thither. At a public hall no gentleman would, of course, permit a lady
to pay for refreshments.
No lady should accept refreshments from a stranger at a public ball;
for she would thereby lay herself under a pecuniary obligation. For
these she must rely on her father, brothers, or old friends.
Good taste forbids that a lady and gentleman should dance too
frequently together at either a public or private ball. Engaged
persons should be careful not to commit this conspicuous solecism.
Engagements for one dance should not be made while the present dance
is yet in progress.
If a lady happens to forget a previous engagement, and stand up with
another partner, the gentleman whom she has thus slighted is bound to
believe that she has acted from mere inadvertence, and should by
no means suffer his pride to master his good temper. To cause a
disagreeable scene in a private ball-room is to affront your host and
hostess, and to make yourself absurd. In a public room it is no less
reprehensible. Always remember that good breeding and good temper (or
the appearance of good temper) are inseparably connected.
Young gentlemen are earnestly advised not to limit their conversation
to remarks on the weather and the heat of the room. It is, to a
certain extent, incumbent on them to do something more than dance when
they invite a lady to join a quadrille. If it be only upon the news
of the day, a gentleman should be able to offer at least three or four
observations to his partner in the course of a long half-hour.
Gentlemen who dance cannot be too careful not to injure the dresses of
the ladies who do them the honour to stand up with them. The young men
of the present day are singularly careless in this respect; and when
they have torn a lady's delicate skirt, appear to think the mischief
they have done scarcely worth the trouble of an apology.
A gentleman conducts his last partner to the supper-room, and, having
waited upon her while there, re-conducts her to the ball-room. Never
attempt to take a place in a dance which has been previously engaged.
Withdraw from a private ball-room as quietly as possible, so that your
departure may not be observed by others, and cause the party to break
up. If you meet the lady of the house on her way out, take your leave
of her in such a manner that her other guests may not suppose you are
doing so; but do not seek her out for that purpose.
Never be seen without gloves in a ball-room, though it were only for
a few moments. Those who dance much and are particularly _soigné_
in matters relating to the toilette, take a second pair of gloves to
replace the first when soiled.
A thoughtful hostess will never introduce a bad dancer to a good
one, because she has no right to punish one friend in order to oblige
another.
It is not customary for married persons to dance together in society.
[Footnote A: See "Etiquette for Ladies," and "Etiquette for
Gentlemen," Sec. IX.]
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