EPITAPHS.--The shortest, plainest, and truest, are the best. I say the
_shortest_, for when a passenger sees a chronicle written upon a tomb, he
takes it on trust that some great man lies there buried, without taking
pains to examine who it is. Mr Cambden, in his "Remains," presents us
with examples of great men who had little epitaphs. And when once a witty
gentleman was asked, what epitaph was fittest to be written on Cambden's
tomb, "let it be," said he, "Cambden's remains." I say also the
_plainest_, for except the sense lie above ground, few will trouble
themselves to dig for it. Lastly, it must be _true_; not as in some
monuments, where the red veins in the marble may seem to blush at the
falsehoods written on it. He was a witty man who first taught a stone to
speak, but he was a wicked man who first taught it to lie. A good memory
is the best monument; others are subject to casualty and time; and we
know that the Pyramids themselves, doting with age, have forgotten the
names of their founders.--_Scrap Book._
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