That editor who wills to please,
Must humbly crawl upon his knees,
And kiss the hand that beats him;
Or, if he dare attempt to walk,
Must toe the mark that others chalk,
And cringe to all that meet him.
Says one, Your subjects are too grave,
Too much morality you have,--
Too much about religion;
Give me some witch and wizard tales
Of slip-shod ghosts with fins and scales,
Of feathers like a pigeon.
I love to read, another cries,
Those monstrous, fashionable lies,--
In other words, those novels,
Composed of kings and queens and lords,
Of border wars, and gothic hordes
That used to live in hovels.
No, no, cries one, we've had enough
Of such confounded love-sick stuff,
To craze the fair creation;
Give us some recent foreign news
Of Russians, Turks, the Greeks, or Jews,
Or any other nation.
The man of dull scholastic lore
Would like to see a little more
In scraps of Greek or Latin;
The merchants rather have the price
Of southern indigo and rice,
Of India silks, or satin.
Another cries, I want more fun,
A witty anecdote or pun,
A rebus or a riddle;
Some long for missionary news,
And some, of worldly, carnal views,
Would rather hear a fiddle.
The critic, too, of classic skill,
Must dip in gall his gander quill,
And scrall against the paper:
Of all the literary fools
Bred in our colleges and schools,
He cuts the greatest caper.
Another cries, I want to see
A jumbled-up variety,
Variety in all things,--
A miscellaneous, hodge-pod print,
Composed (I only give the hint)
Of multifarious small things.
I want some marriage news, says miss:
It constitutes my highest bliss
To hear of weddings plenty;
For in a time of general rain
None suffer from a drought, 'tis plain,--
At least, not one in twenty.
I want to hear of deaths, says one,
Of people totally undone
By losses, fire, or fever:
Another answers full as wise,
I'd rather have a fall and rise
Of raccoon skins and beaver.
Some signify a secret wish
For now and then a favorite dish
Of politics to suit them.
But here we rest at perfect ease,
For should they swear the moon was cheese,
We never should dispute them.
Or grave or humorous, wild or tame,
Lofty or low, 'tis all the same,
Too haughty or too humble;
And every editorial wight
Has nought to do but what is right,
And let the grumblers grumble.
From a Salem paper of 1828; author not stated.
* * * * *
"All are needed by each one,
Nothing is fair and good alone."
EMERSON.
In "old times" almost all the young ladies upon their marriage were
"amiable" and "agreeable"; at least they are so represented in most of
the announcements. The "maiden aunt" could not speak plainer in writing
for the "Boston Sunday Gazette." We copy some specimens from Boston and
Salem papers.
On Thursday last, in the Forenoon, was married Mr. BENJAMIN
DAVIS of this Town, Merchant, to Mrs. ANSTESS GREENLEAF,
second Daughter of STEPHEN GREENLEAF Esq; High Sheriff of
the County of Suffolk.
The same Evening Mr. OLIVER WENDELL, of this Town, Merchant,
was also Married to Mrs. MARY JACKSON, only Daughter of the
late Mr. EDWARD JACKSON; both young Ladies of great Merit.
Sept. 13, 1762.
* * * * *
On Thursday Evening last Mr. _Phillip Dumaresq_, Merchant,
was Married to Mrs. _Rebecca Gardiner_, third Daughter of
_Sylvester Gardiner_, Esq; of this Town, an agreeable young
Lady.
Dec. 19, 1763.
* * * * *
MARRIED]--Mr. SAMUEL SMITH, to Mrs. ABIGAIL PITTENGILL, an
agreeable young widow.
Dec. 22, 1790.
* * * * *
Thursday evening last, JOHN WHITNEY, Esq. merchant, of the
state of Georgia, to the amiable Mrs. BRIDGET SEYMORE, of
Wesport.
June 2, 1792.
* * * * *
--At Plainfield, Mr. Hezekiah Spalding, a batchelor of large
fortune, aged 68, to the amiable Miss Mary Williams, aged
22!
1790.
* * * * *
MARRIED]--At Cambridge, Dr. J. JENNISON, to the amiable Miss
BELCHER, daughter of his late Excellency Governour
_Belcher_, of Nova Scotia, and grand daughter of his
Excellency _Jonathan Belcher_, Esq. deceased, formerly
Governour of the then provinces of Massachusetts Bay and
New-Hampshire.
Aug. 31, 1790.
* * * * *
--At Newbury-Port, Mr. WILLIAM YOUNG, of Boston, to the
amiable Miss JUDITH WILLIAMS, of that town.
June 7, 1788.
* * * * *
NEWPORT, Nov. 24.
The 16th Instant, Mr. WILLIAM CHECKLEY, Son of the Rev. Mr.
SAMUEL CHECKLEY of Boston, was married to Miss POLLY
CRANSTON, a young Lady of genteel Acquirements, and of a
most amiable Disposition.
Dec. 19, 1766.
* * * * *
BOSTON, January 12 [1767].
Last Thursday Evening DUNCAN STEWART, Esq; Collector of His
Majesty's Customs for the Port of New-London, was married to
Miss NANCY ERVING, youngest Daughter of the Hon. JOHN
ERVING, Esq; of this Town; a most amiable and agreeable
young Lady.
* * * * *
Thursday last was married, at Newport, JOHN COFFIN JONES,
Esq. of Boston, merchant, to the truly amiable and
accomplished Miss ABIGAIL GRANT, daughter of the late
ALEXANDER GRANT, Esq. a Lady of real merit, and highly
qualified to render the connubial state desirable and
supremely happy.
May 22, 1786.
* * * * *
--By the Rev. Dr. STILLMAN, Mr. CALEB LORING, distiller, to
the agreeable Miss POLLY SELSBRY.
May 25, 1792.
* * * * *
MARRIED]--At _Billerica_, Mr. JAMES BREED, to the amiable
Miss ELIZABETH PARKER.--At _Newtown_, Mr. JOHN WALTER, A.B.,
to the agreeable Miss POLLY BULLARD.
March 24, 1792.
* * * * *
Married,
At Topsfield, by the Rev. Mr. Huntington, Mr. JOSEPH
AVERELL, to the accomplished Miss EUNICE LAMSON.
_Salem Register,_ 1801.
* * * * *
Editors were formerly very fond of curious matter for their lists of
marriages and deaths. In the "Massachusetts Centinel" for 1789 the
marriage of Pork and Hogg has a doubtful look, although it used to be
supposed that everything in the paper was true.
MARRIED]--Lately in Delaware, Mr. ROBERT PORK, merchant, to
Miss CATHARINE HOGG.--At Pepperell, Mr. GILES RICHARDS, of
this town, to the amiable Miss SALLY ADAMS, youngest
daughter of the late Rev. Mr. ADAMS, of Roxbury.--At Hull,
Mr. SPENCER BINNEY, to Miss POLLY JONES, daughter of Mr.
THOMAS JONES, of that place.
* * * * *