We do not get the idea from this letter that those two long
ago sweethearts quarreled, but Mark Twain once spoke of
their having done so, and there may have been a
disagreement, assuming that there was a subsequent meeting.
It does not matter, now. In speaking of it, Mark Twain once
said: “It is as pathetic a romance as any that has crossed
the field of my personal experience in a long lifetime.”--
[When Mark Twain: A Biography was written this letter had
not come to light, and the matter was stated there in
accordance with Mark Twain's latest memory of it.]
Howells wrote: “After all, how poor and hackneyed all the
inventions are compared with the simple and stately facts.
Who could have imagined such a heart-break as that? Yet it
went along with the fulfillment of everyday duty and made no
more noise than a grave under foot. I doubt if fiction will
ever get the knack of such things.”
Jane Clemens now lived with her son Orion and his wife, in
Keokuk, where she was more contented than elsewhere. In
these later days her memory had become erratic, her
realization of events about her uncertain, but there were
times when she was quite her former self, remembering
clearly and talking with her old-time gaiety of spirit.
Mark Twain frequently sent her playful letters to amuse her,
letters full of such boyish gaiety as had amused her long
years before. The one that follows is a fair example. It
was written after a visit which Clemens and his family had
paid to Keokuk.
*****
To Jane Clemens, in Keokuk:
ELMIRA, Aug. 7, '86.
DEAR MA,--I heard that Molly and Orion and Pamela had been sick, but I
see by your letter that they are much better now, or nearly well. When
we visited you a month ago, it seemed to us that your Keokuk weather
was pretty hot; Jean and Clara sat up in bed at Mrs. McElroy's and cried
about it, and so did I; but I judge by your letter that it has cooled
down, now, so that a person is comparatively comfortable, with his skin
off. Well it did need cooling; I remember that I burnt a hole in my
shirt, there, with some ice cream that fell on it; and Miss Jenkins told
me they never used a stove, but cooked their meals on a marble-topped
table in the drawing-room, just with the natural heat. If anybody else
had told me, I would not have believed it. I was told by the Bishop of
Keokuk that he did not allow crying at funerals, because it scalded the
furniture. If Miss Jenkins had told me that, I would have believed it.
This reminds me that you speak of Dr. Jenkins and his family as if they
were strangers to me. Indeed they are not. Don't you suppose I remember
gratefully how tender the doctor was with Jean when she hurt her arm,
and how quickly he got the pain out of the hurt, whereas I supposed it
was going to last at least an hour? No, I don't forget some things as
easily as I do others.
Yes, it was pretty hot weather. Now here, when a person is going to die,
he is always in a sweat about where he is going to; but in Keokuk of
course they don't care, because they are fixed for everything. It has
set me reflecting, it has taught me a lesson. By and by, when my health
fails, I am going to put all my affairs in order, and bid good-bye to my
friends here, and kill all the people I don't like, and go out to Keokuk
and prepare for death.
They are all well in this family, and we all send love.
Affly Your Son
SAM.
The ways of city officials and corporations are often past
understanding, and Mark Twain sometimes found it necessary to write
picturesque letters of protest. The following to a Hartford
lighting company is a fair example of these documents.
*****
To a gas and electric-lighting company, in Hartford:
GENTLEMEN,--There are but two places in our whole street where lights
could be of any value, by any accident, and you have measured and
appointed your intervals so ingeniously as to leave each of those places
in the centre of a couple of hundred yards of solid darkness. When I
noticed that you were setting one of your lights in such a way that I
could almost see how to get into my gate at night, I suspected that it
was a piece of carelessness on the part of the workmen, and would be
corrected as soon as you should go around inspecting and find it out.
My judgment was right; it is always right, when you axe concerned. For
fifteen years, in spite of my prayers and tears, you persistently kept
a gas lamp exactly half way between my gates, so that I couldn't find
either of them after dark; and then furnished such execrable gas that I
had to hang a danger signal on the lamp post to keep teams from running
into it, nights. Now I suppose your present idea is, to leave us a
little more in the dark.
Don't mind us--out our way; we possess but one vote apiece, and no
rights which you are in any way bound to respect. Please take your
electric light and go to--but never mind, it is not for me to suggest;
you will probably find the way; and any way you can reasonably count on
divine assistance if you lose your bearings.