[_GERHART HAUPTMANN, the German dramatist and poet, has nominated
Lord CURZON as Viceroy of England when it becomes a German
province._]
If you'd trample on the Briton
And secure his just abasement,
Well, I think you might have written
First to me.
(Signed) ROGER CASEMENT.
If only as a recompense
For my expenditure of jaw
And anti-British "common-sense,"
Why not yours truly,
BERNARD SHAW?
Would you avoid a bad rebellion?
The man for you is
CHARLES TREVELYAN.
Since all the Dublin Corporation
Protest against my resignation,
My long experience vice-regal
Might mollify the German eagle
If he should nest on College Green.
Yours amicably,
ABERDEEN.
Believe me, CURZON'S haughty hand
Would lie too heavy on the land;
No, to appease the British Isles
Appoint yours truly,
WILLIAM BYLES.
I fear the freedom-loving British
Under Lord CURZON might grow skittish;
Far better knit the nations twain
Under a more pacific reign:
For instance, BRUNNER'S; he's beyond
Reproach. Yours ever,
ALFRED MOND.
CURZON, I own, is not a noodle,
But his demeanour is too feudal;
Try ALFRED MOND: he is a stunner,
Affectionately yours,
JOHN BRUNNER.
As I am still without a seat,
I'm not unwilling to compete
For any post in which there's scope
To preach humanitarian hope.
You might, of course, secure elsewhere
A smarter or a "faster" man,
But none in "uplift" could compare
With truly yours,
CHARLES MASTERMAN.
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