["The Siberians have refused to have their beards cut, saying
that the shagginess frightens the Germans." No doubt the
adaptable enemy will not be behindhand in this method of
warfare.]
The Frighten-em-to-Death's-Head Hussars, in their brilliant charge
yesterday, were greatly aided by the fact that, before going into
action, they had burnt-corked their faces. The effect upon the _moral_
of the enemy was disastrous, the terrified troops flying in confusion.
* * *
The 1914 conscripts, who, as is well known, have yet to go into
action, must not be supposed to be lying idle; they are being rendered
irresistible by a severe training in the use of the grimace, which is
likely to take the place of the bayonet as a means of clearing enemy
trenches. The CROWN PRINCE himself has frequently given instruction to
the troops, although, in the interests of the men, it has been found
necessary for the demonstrations to be carried on through sheets of
smoked glass.
* * *
KRUPPS have largely abandoned the manufacture of big guns, and have
now laid down plant for the construction of five million masks of a
hideousness without parallel. Samples tested by the Black Pomeranians
prove that any one of these masks has the power to drive a force of a
thousand men into instant and complete insensibility.
* * *
With regard to the new crop reports, it must be remembered that fields
hitherto intended for the growing of wheat and barley have, under a
new order from the Imperial War Department, been planted with roots
for the manufacture of the terrifying turnip-ghosts now required by
the German army.
* * * * *