(_FROM A WORKING MAN._)
["How many of you men would contribute to a Working Men's Fund
the shilling you put on _Orme_, who, by the way, I am sorry
to see was not poisoned to death."--_Mr. John Burns in the
Park._]
Look 'ere, JOHN, you stow it; you're nuts on the spoutin';
I don't mind a man as can 'oller a bit;
And if shillings are goin', I'd back you for shoutin',
Though your game's an Aunt Sally, all miss and no 'it.
But the blusterin' chap as keeps naggin' the boys on
To fight and get beat all for nothing's an ass.
And I'm certain o' this, that the wust kind o' poison
Is the stuff as you fellers 'ave lots of--that's gas!
What's _Orme_ done to you? _'E_ can't 'elp a cove bettin'.
To get at 'im for that is a trifle too warm.
And poisonin' racers ain't _my_ kind o' vettin'.
I likes a good 'orse, so 'ere's 'ealth to old _Orme_.
Take a bolus yourself, it might stop you from roarin';
There's nothin' like tryin' these games on yourself!
And I'll throw BENNY TILLETT and one or two more in,
Just to lay the whole lot o' you up on the shelf.
BEN TILLETT talks big of a mind that's a sewer;
Well, 'e knows what it is, for I'll lay 'e's bin there.
And _you_'d make a 'orse into cat'smeat on skewer.
My eye, but just ain't you a nice-spoken pair!
_I_ ain't goin' to foller you two like a shadder,
Your 'eads is a darned sight too swelled up with brag.
If you don't want to bust and go pop like a bladder,
Why you'd best take my tip--put 'em both in a bag.
So ta-ta, JOHN. I ain't the least wish to offend you,
But plain words to fellers like you is the best.
If they'd give me my way, why I'd jolly soon end you,
Beard, blather and all; you're no more than a pest.
I can fight and take knocks, and I'll stand by my folk, Sir,
I'll 'elp them as 'elps me with whatever I earns;
But I've this for your pipe, if you're wantin' a smoke, Sir,--
I ain't one for poison, nor yet for JOHN BURNS!
* * * * *
"MURDER IN JEST."--Is it not an extraordinary plea on behalf of a
person under sentence of death for murder, that, like IBSEN's heroine,
"she had never been able to take life in earnest?" Surely it should
be added that "when she took somebody else's life she did take it very
much in earnest."
* * * * *