Only wealthy marriages are tolerated in New York society. For men or
women to marry beneath them is a crime society cannot forgive. There
must be fortune on one side at least. Marriages for money are directly
encouraged. It is not uncommon for a man who has won a fortune to make
the marriage of his daughter the means of getting his family into
society. He will go to some young man within the pale of good society,
and offer him the hand of his daughter and a fortune. The condition
demanded of the aforesaid young man is that he shall do what may lie
within his power to get the family of the bride within the charmed
circle. If the girl is good looking, or agreeable, the offer is rarely
refused.
When a marriage is decided upon, the engagement is announced through one
of the "society newspapers," of which there are several. It is the
bounden duty of the happy pair to be married in a fashionable church. To
be married in or buried from Grace or St. Thomas's Church, is the desire
of every fashionable heart. Invitations are issued to the friends of the
two families, and no one is admitted into the church without a card.
Often "no cards" are issued, and the church is jammed by the outside
throng, who profane the holy temple by their unmannerly struggles to
secure places from which to view the ceremony. Two clergymen are usually
engaged to tie the knot, in order that a Divorce Court may find it the
easier to undo. A reporter is on hand, who furnishes the city papers
with a full description of the grand affair. The dresses, the jewels,
the appearance of the bride and groom, and the company generally, are
described with all the eloquence Jenkins is master of.
If the wedding be at Grace Church, Brown, "the great sexton" is in
charge. A wedding over which he presides is sure to be a great success.
A wonderful man is Brown. No account of New York society would be
complete without a few words about Brown. He has been sexton of Grace
Church ever since the oldest inhabitant can remember, and those familiar
with the matter are sorely puzzled to know what the church will do when
Brown is gathered to his fathers. The congregation would sooner part
with the best Rector they have ever had than give up Brown. A certain
Rector did once try to compel him to resign his post because he, the
Rector, did not fancy Brown's ways, which he said were hardly consistent
with the reverence due the house of God. The congregation, however, were
aghast at the prospect of losing Brown, and plainly gave the Rector to
understand that he must not interfere with the sexton. Never mind about
his want of reverence. The Rector's business was to look after the
religious part of the congregation, while Brown superintended the secular
affairs of that fashionable corporation. They had use for the Rector
only on Sunday; but Brown they looked up to every day in the week. The
Rector meekly subsided, and Brown forgave him.
A very lucky man is Brown, and very far from being a fool. There is no
sharper, shrewder man in New York, and no one who estimates his customers
more correctly. He puts a high price on his services, and is said to
have accumulated a handsome fortune, popularly estimated at about
$300,000. Fat and sleek, and smooth of tongue, he can be a very despot
when he chooses. He keeps a list of the fashionable young men of the
city, who find it to their interest to be on good terms with him, since
they are mainly dependent upon him for their invitations. Report says
that, like a certain great statesman, Brown is not averse to receiving a
small present now and then as a reminder of the gratitude of the
recipients of his favors.
Brown is sixty years old, but time has dealt lightly with him, and he is
still hale and hearty. He knows all the gossip of New York for thirty
years back, but also knows how to hold his tongue. To see him in his
glory, one should wait until the breaking up of some great party. Then
he takes his stand on the steps of the mansion, and in the most pompous
manner calls the carriages of the guests. There is no chance for sleep
in the neighborhood when the great voice of the "great sexton" is roaring
down the avenue. He takes care that the whole neighborhood shall know
who have honored the entertainment with their presence.
He has a sharp tongue, too, this Brown, when he chooses to use it, and a
good story is told of this quality of his. He was once calling the
carriages at a brilliant party. Among the guests was Harry X---, a young
gentleman of fortune, concerning whose morals some hard things were said.
It was hinted that Mr. X--- was rather too fond of faro. The young
gentleman and the great sexton were not on good terms, and when Brown,
having summoned Mr. X---'s carriage, asked, as usual, "Where to, sir?" he
received the short and sharp reply, "To where he brought me from." "All
right, sir," said Brown, calmly, and turning to the driver he exclaimed
in a loud tone, "Drive Mr. X--- to John Chamberlain's faro-bank." A roar
of laughter greeted this sally, and Brown smiled serenely as his
discomfited enemy was driven away.
Fashionable weddings are very costly affairs. The outfits of the bride
and groom cost thousands of dollars, the extravagance of the man being
fully equal to that of his bride. A wedding is attended with numerous
entertainments, all of which are costly, and the expenses attendant upon
the affair itself are enormous. The outlay is not confined to the
parties immediately concerned, the friends of the happy pair must go to
great expense to give to the bride elegant and appropriate presents.
One, two, or three rooms, as may be required, are set apart at every
fashionable wedding, for the display of the presents. These are visited
and commented upon by the friends of the bride and groom, such being the
prescribed custom. The presents are frequently worth a handsome fortune.
At the marriage of the daughter of a notorious politician not long since,
the wedding presents were valued at more than $250,000. Efforts have
been repeatedly made to put a stop to the giving of such costly presents,
but the custom still continues.
As it is the ambition of every one of the class we are discussing to live
fashionably, so it is their chief wish to be laid in the grave in the
same style. The undertaker at a fashionable funeral is generally the
sexton of some fashionable church, perhaps of the church the deceased was
in the habit of attending. This individual prescribes the manner in
which the funeral ceremonies shall be conducted, and advises certain
styles of mourning for the family. Sometimes the blinds of the house are
closed, and the gas lighted in the hall and parlors. The lights in such
cases are arranged in the most artistic manner, and everything is made to
look as "interesting" as possible.
A certain fashionable sexton always refuses to allow the female members
of the family to follow their dead to the grave. He will not let them be
seen at the funeral, at all, as he says, "It's horribly vulgar to see a
lot of women crying about a corpse; and, besides, they're always in the
way."
The funeral over, the bereaved ones must remain in the house for a
certain length of time, the period being regulated by a set decree. To
be seen on the street within the prescribed time, would be to lose caste.
Many of the days of their seclusion are passed in consultations with
their _modiste_, in preparing the most fashionable mourning that can be
thought of. They no doubt agree fully with a certain famous _modiste_ of
the city, who once declared to a widow, but recently bereaved, that
"fashionable and becoming mourning is _so comforting_ to persons in
affliction."
Well, after all, only the rich can afford to die and be buried in style
in the great city. A lot in Greenwood is worth more than many
comfortable dwellings in Brooklyn. A fashionable funeral entails heavy
expenses upon the family of the deceased. The coffin must be of
rosewood, or some other costly material, and must be lined with satin. A
profusion of white flowers must be had to cover it and to deck the room
in which the corpse is laid out. The body must be dressed in a suit of
the latest style and finest quality, and the cost of the hearse and
carriages, the expenses at the church and cemetery, and the fees of the
undertaker, are very heavy. The average expense of such an occasion may
be set down at from $1500 to $2000.